Better Than Dreams
by SiriRemLove
Summary: The Marauders are entering their 6th year of Hogwarts and Remus seems to have some feelings for Sirius. Will the new teacher's plans for Remus change Sirius' feelings for Remus? Can Sirius Black love? Slash & eventual SBRL. 15 of 15 chapters - COMPLETE D.
1. Looking Forward to School

Chapter 1 Looking Forward To School

The boy woke up feeling every bone in his body had been pulled mercilessly apart; as though every muscle he had, had been stretched beyond its limit. He lay stiff with his eyes closed on a harsh glacial floor and groaned in pain as he remembered the events of the night before. Almost every inch of his body boasted several bruises, scratches and bite marks that he had punished himself with during the remorseless night. His head felt quite detached from his body. His mind was groggy and he felt a dull pounding pain behind his eyes. With all the effort he possessed, he willed his eyes to open.

The sight that met him was one he abominated. Every sense of his being detested the dull beam of light that poured itself from the bare bulb hanging above him from the high, grimy ceiling. Although it barely illuminated the diminutive room, his eyes were extremely sensitive to the light and he blinked painfully several times before adjusting to the light. His eyes wandered down the grubby walls and saw spattered blood on the walls both from just hours ago and also dried blood that he could have honestly dated back just over a decade. The room was just three meters across and almost a meter wide. He vaguely remembered battering himself against the walls and the bolted iron door in attempt to escape in his hours of being inhuman. An old, frayed and ripped chair-cushion lay at the end of the small room, covering just under a square meter of the exposed concrete ground. His joints ached agonizingly as he miraculously managed to slowly maneuver onto his front on his hands and knees. He tried in vain to stand up and fell to the ground with a thud and his body seared with excruciating pain. He pushed up with all his might back onto his hands and knees and crawled laboriously toward the dilapidated cushion and collapsed in a heap upon it.

He lay for some minutes face down before, against his screaming body's wishes, he shifted so he lay on his back. He put a hand to his hazel coloured hair (that when closely looked at, you could see the odd premature silver strand). The sixteen year old pushed his fringe from his forehead with effort to soothingly clutch the source of pain in his head. He closed his eyes and more memories of the night before carefully restored itself in his head. Last night's full moon had brought about his painful transformation into a werewolf.

He had been bitten when he was only five and had spent the harrowing changes in this room each month for years. That was until he had entered Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry when he was eleven. He remembered the glorious day he had received the wonderful letter addressed to him, Remus Lupin, from the Headmaster of the school, Albus Dumbledore. He had been miserable thinking of the subject of school for years as his mother and father had told him time and again he would never be accepted into a school with his lycanthropy. They had been right too, as he had been rejected in turn from each school he had applied to. He had been told by the previous head of Hogwarts, Armando Dippet that he had no chance of acceptance. But Professor Dumbledore had come to rule and he had been considerably understanding to Remus. He had said as long as necessary precautions were taken, then he could think of no reason for him to miss out on a proper magical education. He had felt enormous gratitude toward the aging wizard. He was approaching his sixth year at the school now and since being there, he only had to spend the Summer holidays at home in this cupboard in the cellar.

At the wondrous school, he had spent his first four years transforming in a building in the near wizarding village of Hogsmeade, called the Shrieking Shack. It was not an attractive building itself, but was fifty times more comforting than this room and held more freedom for his wolf form to run. He had to be smuggled from the castle every month by the school nurse, Madam Pomfrey, lead into the opening of a thrashing tree named the Whomping Willow and through a long tunnel leading into the building to transform. Only the teachers at Hogwarts had known about his transformations, until his three newly made friends had found out. He had been terrified they would leave him and react as everyone else did to his lycanthropy: as though it were a very infectious disease. But his friends were loyal. More than loyal, and for the first time in his life, he had made long-term friends and he was happier than he'd ever been.

His friends had even done something for him that would help him beyond his wildest dreams. They had figured out how to become animagi. These were people who were able to become a particular animal at their will. They had managed to do this last year and met Remus in the Shrieking Shack every month and ran with him. He and his friends were soon roaming the school grounds, as two of them became large animals and were able to keep his wolf form in check. They had gained an unparalleled knowledge of Hogwarts and Remus was no longer biting himself any more. His friends ran with him everywhere, keeping him well occupied and happy.

It was with a sad smile that he remembered this and he was painfully brought back to the tiny room with a shudder. He realized he was shaking with a nippy-cold that swept over him. It was here he remembered before his transformation he had stripped off his clothes so as not to ruin them in his change and this left him lying there nude. He shuffled and placed his hand under the cushion to retrieve his robe and slowly pulled the cloak around him, wincing as the pain in his joints smarted in the struggle.

He placed an objecting hand into his robes and pulled out his wand. He looked at the 13 inch ash wand containing a single unicorn hair and muttered a healing charm as he pointed to each of his cuts and bite-wounds in turn. He was no expert at this, but Madam Pomfrey had taught him enough to relieve most of his pains. The majority of his bruises remained, but were not half as painful as before, as the spells soothed his mauled skin. Once he was satisfied he had done all he could for his wounds, he lay back down on the cushion and curled up, very grateful to the caring nurse, and wondered what time it was. He supposed it would be several hours yet before his mother would come and release him from his temporary cell.

He lay there tired for some time thinking, with much melancholy, of his fantastic friends. He thought miserably how he wished he was spending this time with them. He imagined how Peter "Wormtail" Pettigrew would be sitting in his house panicking about not having his friends to help him with his summer homework as it seemed he was quite unable to complete anything without the great assistance of his mates. There was only two days until the first Hogwarts term would begin, but Remus was confident in thinking that he would be the only one of them to have thought to do his homework at the beginning of the holiday. He'd always been the responsible and sensible member of the group. But he also knew that while his other two friends would have no problem with their homework (being the two smartest students in the school), Peter would be struggling with his. They had all been nicknamed according to the animal form they took. He, himself was appropriately dubbed "Moony", as he obviously transformed in the full moon. Peter - his least favourite friend he thought briefly before scolding himself - was called "Wormtail" because his animagus form was of a rat. Sometimes Remus would think it a very fitting name, then be annoyed with himself for his disloyalty to his friend. But it was true that Peter was the weakest and most cowardly member of their group that they'd named "The Marauders". He was small, quite fat, mousy-haired and always held an anxious air about him. He just worshipped the ground his friends walked upon, which was quite nice sometimes, but mostly highly annoying and he was also very dimwitted.

His thoughts flitted to his friend James "Prongs" Potter, who took on the form of a stag. James, he liked a lot more. He had a great sense of humour and his loyalty and bravery was unshakably solid. He had the most unruly black hair Remus had ever seen.  
He was admittedly quite arrogant but made up for it in his humour. He had a thin face and possessed hazel eyes, magnified slightly behind thick black-rimmed glasses. Remus held a jealous feeling especially for him in the group, because he had a best friend inside the group of best friends. If he didn't know for definite the two were both as straight as they come, he'd have been sure they were a couple with how close they sometimes were. Remus thought, almost bitterly about James, as he thought how the last remaining Marauder (not yet mentioned) had moved out of his hateful home to live with James. He thought how they would be with each other right this second having an excellent time. He thought how he wished he could be there. It was not really James' fault and he knew it. James had invited Remus and Peter to come over for the Summer but neither had been able to come. Remus' mother had said, despite his tantrum, that he would not inflict his company on the respectable Potter family during the full moon. Yes, Remus held this thought very bitterly. He longed to be spending this time with his fellow Marauders, and even more so than the others, spending that time with Sirius Black.

Sirius was called "Padfoot" by his friends. His animagus form was that of a beautiful and large grim-like dog. Sirius was undeniably gorgeous and so obviously the nicest looking person in the whole school. Girls were fawning over him everywhere he turned. Remus had even often seen some guys giving him longing looks. He never seemed to notice, though or care. He was tallest of the four, had smooth skin that was almost always tanned, he was lean, muscly and perfectly toned. His face was of beauty and into his bright blue eyes, his gorgeous jet-black hair fell casually, but with elegance. He was similarly arrogant as James, but charmingly so and boys couldn't help but wishing they looked like him, as he was just perfect. He had a personality to match his outer beauty, which, in Remus' opinion, was very rare.

Remus felt with a sharp pain in his chest that the distress caused by his friends' absence was many times more painful than the physical hurt he had received from tonight's transformation. He longed to be back in their company. He had been treasuring every letter they (especially Sirius) had sent him by owl post. He had replied heartily, but it was now, thinking of how they normally were on his transformations, that he missed them most. He desperately tried not to think how good a time they'd be having together, but only when exhaustion stole his consciousness, was he able to do so. Even then he dreamed of a certain handsome lad...

.--.

"Bye umm...", Sirius looked desperately to James. "Hollie", his friend said through a false cough. "Yeh, bye..Hollie". Sirius had been sitting happily chatting away to James in a small and cosy muggle café. He had been about to talk about how annoyed he was that school was starting late and how Remus would have to transform all by himself for the third time this holiday when he'd only supposed to have done so twice. Which was still too much in Sirius' opinion. But he hadn't gotten the chance to even say the school's name out loud before a very pretty muggle girl had come over and began flirting shamelessly with him. James had given him a grin of much approval and Sirius knew, had his mind not been distant, he'd have taken to this situation warmly. But he just couldn't keep his mind from wandering from the girl to obviously more important matters. Sure, she was definitely the prettiest muggle he had seen all summer, but she just plainly annoyed him. She may have been nice enough and was definitely the type Sirius normally went for, but he just wanted to get away to talk to James and have a good rant. He was definitely not in the mood for this. The girl was very curvy with radiant beauty. She had hair as jet black and sleek as Sirius's own hair and it fell down to the small of her slender back. She was wearing silver studded black skintight jeans, a black denim halter neck top and a short black denim jacket. She was quite tall and had deep chocolatey-brown eyes. Sirius noticed James smirking incredulously at him as he clearly showed no signs of interest in the girl. The girl looked very put out when, after half an hour of her running her hand up his thigh and flirting outrageously with him, he had said that he and James needed to go. 

He knew it was cold of him not to even pick up on her name and he wondered why she had not given up on him already. But even after forgetting her name (or more truthfully, not having heard a word of what she'd said, least of all her identity) she still insisted on scribbling down her phone number on his hand. She said she'd make it worth his while to call her with a suggestive look that had James' jaw nearly hitting the ground.

"You, mate, are the world's biggest prick! What the hell were you doing? She was hot! Hot for you too and you acted as though she were a sister or something!", James said excitedly as they stepped out of the girl's view.

"Yeah. My mind wasn't on it is all", Sirius said truthfully.

"How could it not be? I saw what she was doing under the table! She wasn't exactly discreet! Sirius, she was your type, man!"

"Yeah well, I might call her. Just have other things on my mind just now". Sirius looked to his best mate. He still had a look of disbelief on his face, but he had obviously heard the note of sadness in his voice because concern was also etched there.

"It's about Remus isn't it?" James stated flatly. "I know. I wish we could be there with him right now too".

Sirius sighed and looked up at the shining full moon. "They must have just found a new potions teacher then, 'cos Dumbledore would want things back to normal as soon as possible wouldn't he? I mean, this is the first time that school hasn't started back on September the first. It must have been tough to get a new professor to have took so long".

Sirius looked for James' reaction. He was in thought. Eventually he said "Yeah, well, I don't think too many wizards would be keen to take up the job so soon after Professor Melbourne had mysteriously disappeared. With all the disappearances happening just now, I guess they were scared it might have something to do with the job. People don't want to go near anything these days if it's connected to strange missing persons cases and our dear old Potion's teacher's disappearance was definitely dodgy."

"I know, I know. It's just you know what Moony does on his own as a werewolf. He tears himself apart. I don't like him being locked up like that", Sirius said, his voice oozing lakes of pity for his friend.

"No. None of us do. Hey want to go to my - er - our tree house to camp out tonight?"

"Yeah. I'm not quite used to your house being mine's either". Sirius looked up at James with a thankful grin but it was wiped from his face in an instant.

"Suppose we'd better do our homework then?" James said while ducking a whack from Sirius.

"How dare you suggest such filth to me?" Sirius said with mock-indignation. Sirius and James laughed all the way down the street as they began to make impressions of Sirius's mother.

They walked down through the small woods and Sirius didn't need to look where he was going to get here. He made his way there instinctively as he'd been coming here with James since he first met him. He'd always been welcome at the Potters' home and he loved it here. His own home could never be compared with this family house. It was just so blatantly different that nothing from the actual houses to the family's dwelling in them were even similar. The Potters were warm and a close-nit family in every way. His own family were cold and the people in that house did all they could to avoid each others company.

He'd been really happy to move in with James. He climbed up the ladder and into the comfortable little tree house. Sirius set about his homework with James and he finished first. It was getting light outside. Moony might be awake by now. He'll be in pain, Sirius thought miserably as he looked out of the tree house window.

.--.

James looked up as he wrote his last sentence of homework. Sirius was standing staring out of the window and had been for the last ten minutes or so. James did not like the look of concern that was spread over his friends gorgeous face, that normally bore a charming grin. This look was almost alien to his friend's features and it made James want for anything to make it leave. It made him feel somewhat apprehensive and he tried his best to reassure Sirius things were OK.

"Remus will be fine. He went through this for years before we became animagi. Anyway, we'll see him on the 30th", he said. Sirius looked considerably consoled by this and James saw a grin flit across his face a moment before saying with a long, but less heavy-hearted sigh,

"It's our luck the full moon would happen just two days before we can actually see Moony." James put on a devilish voice and rudely gestured towards the heavens as he cried "Curse you for not holding back for two days! You will surely be burnt deep in the core of hell where every moment of your life will be lived in blinding pain! Curse you, I say!" and he smiled as he heard Siri laughing, almost fully recovered.

James felt a change of subject was in order and brought Sirius's attention back to their second last year of the school. James had been relieved that none of his friends had decided to leave after their fifth year of the school and thankfully neither had the object of his affections.

"I can't wait to see Lily again. I hate to admit it, but I've missed her", said James with a heavy sigh. He looked to Sirius and found it an enormous comfort that his face no longer looked concerned. It was more thoughtful now.

"Maybe she'll actually like you this year", Sirius said with a mischievous grin that James thought fitted his face much better than concern did.

"Ack, she only pretends not to. Scared to admit her true feelings", James said with a broad grin. He pulled a snitch from his pocket and began releasing it and then catching it with lightning reflexes just as it was about to dash away from him.

"And this year's gonna be better than fifth year. No major exams to study for which surely means less bloody homework" Sirius said with a handsome scowl.

"I don't think there will be too much of a difference on the homework front", James contradicted with a frown. Sirius looked at him momentarily puzzled. James shook his head at his friend's ignorance before elaborating. "N.E.W.T.S Sirius! Next year! God, how you do well in subjects I just don't know", James said with laughter now.

"I'm not lookin' forward to bloody 7th year", Sirius said with a more pronounced scowl. James' voice was thick with amusement when he said, "Surely the great Sirius Black isn't worried about his N.E.W.T tests?" He then had to dodge a pillow directed at him by Sirius.

"Don't be stupid. They'll be easy", his friend said with enormous amounts of confidence. "Next year will be rubbish because my little brother, Regulus, is coming to Hogwarts. As if I don't already have enough bloody family at the school without that little loser joining in. I wish they'd all gone to Durmstrang or something", Sirius said spitefully. James understood Sirius's strong feelings on this. He knew at first hand that Sirius was one of the very few of the Black family that wasn't a viscious asshole. Regulus was his parents' little angel and Sirius hated him with a passion for it. His own parents disowned him and had driven Sirius to leave home and come to live with James. James had been more than happy to accept his best mate and save him from that accursed family. He looked to Sirius before happily saying:

"Well, you'll only have to stick him for a year. Then you get to leave him behind at Hogwarts while you begin your years of Auror training". An auror was a dark wizard catcher and only the best of wizards were accepted. And these days, there were plenty dark wizards around. James knew Sirius would be easily accepted as he was what was required - he was the best. He saw Sirius grinning at the thought.

"Yup. And you'll be trying out for some professional Quidditch teams. Star seeker for England's national quidditch team, James Potter. I can see it now", Sirius said through laughter then dodging a pillow this time sent by James .

"Well, I think I'll do Auror training too. Just in case, y'know. In case I don't get in a team", James said with a smile.

"You know fine bloody well you'll get taken in", Sirius said while adding James' pillow to his comfortable collection he was lying on.

"I know. Hey! Gimme my pillow back", James cried as Sirius rested on his mountain of amenities. James dived on top of him and attempted to steal his pillow back for his less prosperous pile. As he and Sirius wrestled over the pillow, James thought gleefully how his friend seemed to have temporarily forgotten to worry about Remus.

Peter looked mournfully at the stacks of books and rolls of parchment cluttering up his desk. He glanced around his unorganised and messy room. More books lay in untidy heaps on the floor and clothes lay strewn all over his bed . He somberly forced his attention back to his Transfiguration homework. Professor McGonagall had expected at least one roll of parchment for this essay but currently he was stuck on his third inch of writing. He stared blankly at the parchment, racking his brains for something else to write about animagi. He knew his friends would scold him for not knowing this as only least year they had all managed, illegally, to become animagi themselves. Peter remembered all the help he had to get from the other Marauders and he bitterly wished they were helping him with this homework. Sirius and James were the smartest in the school and barely had to even study. They just seemed to have a knack for everything. And Remus probably followed closely in intelligence, but at least he showed he was merely human - or perhaps not human Peter corrected - because he at least studied hard to do so well. He knew he was the dumbest of his friends. He knew, had they not been courageous, they would probably have been put in the house of Ravenclaw at school, which accepted only the smartest of students. He was rather surprised when he found he held light traces of resentment towards his friends. Well, he thought, did they have to be better at everything? Through his jealousy, he tried to return his attention once again to his homework, but at that moment his mother walked into the room. She was a plump woman with a ruddy face and Peter had most definitely inherited her metabolism. She looked around the room with a sense of abhorrence and said to Peter:

"Dinner is ready. As soon as you are finished eating you can come straight back here and tidy this bloody room! Don't tell me you've not finished your homework? You've had all bloody Summer! Well, get moving!", she ranted. Peter let her leave the room before giving her a one fingered salute and gave a groan of annoyance. Of course, she was right about the homework. He wished he'd started it before. He gave one last contemptuous look at his room before leaving to fill his rumbling stomach.  
,--,--,--,--,--,--, 


	2. Happy At Hogwarts

Chapter 2 Happy At Hogwarts

Remus thanked his mother for dropping him off at King's Cross station. It was September 30th and he was finally going back to Hogwarts, finally going to see his friends. After assuring his already-late-for-work mother that he would be fine getting in on his own, he left the car and made his way through the station pushing his trolley that held a trunk full of school books, parchment, quills and robes and on top of the trunk was a cage with a twittering young owl inside. He had got his new books and supplies from Diagon Alley as soon as he had received his list last week. He walked along and remembered the first time he had went in search of Platform 93/4. He had asked some people how to get there and had met some strange looks as he was told there was no such platform. But he knew now of course that muggles wouldn't know how to get onto the platform. Muggles were non-magical people. He had been grateful to find a wizard of his own age. He had followed him onto the platform.

As he approached the magical barrier between platforms nine and ten, he noticed a family of wizards disappearing through it. Remus looked around him. He was still amazed how muggles didn't notice families vanishing behind walls. It was baffling. Some people are plain ignorant, he thought. As he made to walk through the barrier, his stomach gave a great lurch as he thought of seeing his friends again. Seeing Sirius again. He closed his eyes and tried to rid himself of worrying that he would lose control over his feelings for Sirius and blurt them out. He had been close to ruining their friendship like this before. And ruining their special friendship was the last thing in the world Remus wanted. He'd rather die. He walked calmly forward taking one last look at King's Cross and stepped through the barrier. He emerged on the other side a moment later and faced the large scarlet steam-engine that was his school train. On the front, the words read "HOGWARTS EXPRESS" and Remus smiled as he turned to look for his friends. He soon spotted them in amongst a crowd of girls, who were hopelessly batting their eyelashes at a tall, black haired boy who was grinning widely.

Remus's heart leapt and began beating audibly from his chest as he saw Sirius. He felt his face flush. Damn, he thought, how the hell can he possibly look even nicer this year. And taller. God, he's stunning. And as he composed himself, he saw Peter look up. He called over the crowd, "Remus!" and James and Sirius looked up smiling. They were all already wearing their robes and to the disappointment of the girls, they broke away from them and walked down to meet Remus. Remus's heart was thundering now as Sirius approached. James reached him first and he placed a hand on his shoulder saying "Good to see you mate". He moved over and Remus saw Peter grinning broadly at him and he nodded to acknowledge his presence. But Sirius burst by him and to Remus's shock, he found himself enveloped in a tight hug from Sirius. He lost his composure once again, but quickly regained it as he tried to act normal. Sirius being so close made Remus feel dizzy.

"Moony, we missed you", Sirius cried, grinning even more as he mercifully loosened himself from his friend. Remus smiled in spite of himself and when he found his voice he said to his friends, "I missed you guys too". They all beamed at him as he looked around them. Except from Sirius.

"What's up Padfoot?" Remus asked, concerned. Sirius's gaze was making him feel awkward and butterflies swam in his stomach. Sirius was looking, he realised at a bruise left on his face from the other night with a look of worry and guilt. He didn't need to ask what Sirius was referring to when he said :

"Was it terrible? You didn't hurt yourself too much did you?" Sirius asked with such worry evident in his voice that Remus smiled inwardly at his caring.

"Nah...", and from a look of disbelief from Sirius he gave in, "Well, yeah, it hurt a lot. But I'm fine now. Madam Pomfrey taught me enough to rid myself of the real pain. It looks worse than it is. Honestly, it's just bruises". Sirius looked for a moment longer as if waiting for Remus to admit to more pain, then accepted his answer and smiled.

"We'd better get on the train then if we want a compartment to ourselves", said Peter.

So they all hauled their stuff on the train and soon found a compartment down the front. They got in and sat on the cosy stuffed leather-cushioned seats after putting their trunks in the luggage shelf over head. Remus pulled on his robes and joined the others in their enlightening conversation of their holidays. Remus sat contentedly listening to his friends and was very happy to be back in their company at last. He listened as Peter moaned about his nagging mother and more intently he listened to James talking about how great a time he and Sirius had had. James spoke of a beautiful girl that Sirius had completely ignored and was delighted to hear he'd ignored her 'cos he'd been worried about him. He was not surprised to hear how the girl had came over and outright flirted with Sirius. This wasn't a strange occurrence around him as Sirius was constantly being approached by girls. And Remus didn't blame them one bit. He'd love to be able to flirt with Sirius. Pity he wasn't a girl. Remus told them how his summer had been really boring and how he wished his mother had allowed him to stay over at James'. Peter agreed that he wished he had too. Then the other three Marauders had to listen as this brought on another long rant about Wormtail's mum.

His moaning subsided only when the witch brought a welcome cart of sweets and drinks to their compartment. They indulged in everything from Chocolate Frogs to Bertie Botts Every Flavoured Beans. They had been trading their wizard cards from the Chocolate frogs when the train had slowed to a halt as they pulled into the station. They all got up to leave and James mentioned how the Marauders' enemy hadn't graced his face in on them. Severus Snape and his cronies, Evan Rosier and Rodolphus Lestrange normally came into their compartment on the train to wind them up. Remus and Peter let out a thankful sigh and Remus thought how the absence of Snape and his mates was a very welcome one.

He always stupidly picked a fight with James and Sirius. It was stupid because he and his mates lost the duel every time. Remus thought that they had perhaps got the point that they would lose, but then another possible reason occurred to him. Last year, before his friends had become animagi, Sirius had told Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow to the Shrieking Shack. He said he thought it would teach him not to be nosy. Well, if Severus (or Snivellus, as the Marauders preferred to call him) had reached the end of the tunnel, he'd have been met by the wolf form of Remus. Thankfully James had found out what Sirius had done and had gone down,just in time to stop Snape. He had done it to his own risk as he had not yet become an animagus and could not transform. But Snape had caught a glimpse of Remus and would have told everyone had it not been for the intervention of the Headmaster. Dumbledore had sworn him to secrecy. But Remus shuddered now thinking of what would happen if everyone found out. Parents would cause havoc at the school, not wanting their children in the company of a werewolf. Chaos, it would be. Yes, Snape's absence was always welcome. Remus had seen the look of fear that now flitted over Snape's ugly features every time he saw him. He thought now that this was probably the reason Snape didn't turn up. He was scared.

As they left the train, they heard the gamekeeper, Ogg, shouting over the crowd for first years. Remus told the Marauders that he had to go do his prefect duties and they said they'd keep him a spot in the horseless carriages up to the castle. After stopping a couple of cheeky second years from fighting, Remus made his way up the carriages checking each one for his friends. He eventually found it and settled into a seat beside Sirius as the carriage drew up to the startlingly beautiful castle. He saw how the lighted windows made the castle look eerily silhouetted against the almost black sky. He was thrilled to be back at the castle and walked up the marble steps to the Entrance Hall happily with James, Peter and Sirius. They joined in the large crowd that was bustling into the Great Hall. Upon entering the it, they made their way over to the Gryffindor table. They took their seats at the end and their house ghost, Nearly Headless Nick, engaged them in conversation. Remus looked around the hall. He looked up to the ceiling that had been enchanted to look like the sky outside. It was dark and overcast and completely the opposite of his mood. He looked around at his fellow students and he spotted Snape sitting at the furthest of the four tables. The Slytherin table. He was sitting there chatting animatedly to his friends with the usual sneer on his face. He had a stringy pallid look about him. This was normal. His black hair hung lank and greasy about his unpleasant face and Remus suddenly wished he had left at the end of fifth year.

Remus dared a look at Sirius and followed his gaze to the teacher's table at the front end of the Hall, facing down on the pupils. Albus Dumbledore sat in the middle of the table in deep conversation with the Charms teacher, Professor Flitwick, who sat on his right. On his left, there was a space where Professor McGonagall would sit once she had instructed the First years in their Sorting into the four houses. He suddenly thought to look for who might be the new Potions teacher, and he realized that must be what Sirius was doing. He looked further left and saw Professor Lorinov of the Care of Magical Creatures class, Professor Sprout of Herbology, Professor Sinistra of Astronomy, Madam Hooch who teaches flying and Professor Stanlik of Muggle Studies. Nobody new here. Remus then looked to the right of Dumbledore. Beside Professor Flitwick was Professor Binns who teaches History of Magic, Professor Bullstrode of Defence Against the Dark Arts then Professor Reficul of Divination. She had only arrived last year. Then, beside her sat a blond-haired man with an unsightly face. He was quite young but his face looked prematurely hoary. His nose was larger than necessary, which reminded Remus of Snape. He had this ugly feature too. He knew this must be the replacement Potions professor. As Remus continued to stare at him, he was brought out of his thoughts as a plump 7th year girl, Bertha Jorkins plunked herself down beside him. She was the school gossip and always seemed to know everything, yet nothing important, that was going on in the school.

"You'll never guess who the new potions teacher is!" she cried excitedly, her eyes fixed on Sirius who was directly across the table from Remus and beside James. "Oh who, who?!" Sirius said with fake enthusiasm. The Marauders laughed at this. Bertha either didn't notice the sarcasm dripping from his voice or she didn't care because she continued her gossip anyway.

"Know how Miss Reficul?" then without waiting for an answer, "He's her brother!" she said as though it was highly classified information. She was satisfied with their mild surprise and left to tell some other people with one last look at Sirius. They looked back up at the man. Remus saw only one feature he had in common with his sister. Both of them had cold grey eyes. Other than that, Remus saw not one other feature that would reveal the two were siblings. Miss Reficul had brown hair and a tolerably fair face. Her nose was of normal size and there was nothing noticeably displeasing about her face. But they weren't even acting like brother and sister, but instead as though they were merely two professors who had to get along for the sake of their work.

"Wow, who'd of guessed it?" Sirius said in amusement. James looked at him slightly puzzled.

"That they're related? Yeah, you wouldn't - " James began.

"No. Well that too. But the fact that Bertha Jorkins just said something even slightly interesting" Sirius said and was met with understanding laughter from the Marauders and every other person within earshot.

Just then they all looked up as Professor McGonagall stood with the new first years. It was tradition for the first years to cross the lake with Ogg to get to the castle. This was them just arriving and most of the tiny witches and wizards looked terrified as they followed Professor McGonagall to the top of the Hall. Most of them looked as though they'd rather be anywhere else than here, at this time being stared at. Remus didn't blame them. He remembered feeling exactly the same as when he first came to the castle. They lined up as Professor McGonagall placed a stool with three legs in front of them. A timeworn tatty wizard's hat lay on top of the stool. Everyone stared at it and the first years seemed to be holding their breath as they waited for something to happen. A few first years opened their mouths wide in shock, which never failed to amuse Remus, as a hole near the hat's brim opened like a mouth and the Sorting Hat erupted into song.

There was complete silence in the Hall as the hat sang:

Many moons and years ago,  
Four great wizards did align They built a school of sorcery To teach magic through the times.  
But these four friends had different plans What values were important?  
So within the castle they did split Into four fine compartments.  
The different houses did comprise Of quality, symbol and name,  
The wizards gave their names to the houses And in the students came.  
Each wizard, with their separate views Accepted different scholars,  
They picked in them, their dearest qualities They're ideas, they then hollered.  
Gryffindor went for bravery;  
A hardworking Hufflepuff passed the test;  
Ravenclaw held intelligence;  
For Slytherin, pure-bloods were the best.  
But what would happen when they died?  
And houses teams need stated?  
Who would do the honours then?  
The Hogwarts founders ruminated.  
While worn upon my master's head,  
He thought up this great plan Gryffindor gave his hat a brain And then my time began.  
I now will pick a house for you And there you will belong,  
So place me now upon your head I never have been wrong!

The hall burst into applause and the first years looked, for a moment, impressed. Then their nerves came back as Professor McGonagall unrolled a large scroll of parchment.  
She said, "When you hear your name, you will come forward, sit on the stool and place the Hat on your head", the first years gave each other apprehensive looks, "Once you have been placed in a house, you will then go to the appropriate table and sit with your fellow housemates.....Ackerly, Paula"

A girl with long braided hair, tonnes of freckles and small glasses walked smartly up to the stool. As she was about to sit, Remus heard Sirius say to James, "Well, she looks smart..." and James said, "Yeah, Ravenclaw?" And they watched as the Hat called out "RAVENCLAW". Sirius smirked and Remus looked at them and smiled as Peter gasped in astonishment at their guess. The Ravenclaw table cheered madly.

McGonagall continued, "Baddock, Kiara", and a butch girl hobbled up with a scowl on her face. Sirius and James said together with a growl, "Slytherin" and both of them huffed in disapproval as the Hat confirmed this and the Slytherin table applauded their new housemate, Snape leading the cheer.

"Branstone, Stella", cried McGonagall as the cheers died down. Remus looked to Siri and Jamie for their ideas. "Well", said Sirius, "She doesn't look brainy, brave (the girl was shaking almost convulsively) or particularly retched..." And James cut in confidently, "Hufflepuff", the bitterness gone from his voice. The girl walked nervously to the Hufflepuff table after the Hat called it, as soon as she had placed it on her head. Remus must admit he was quite impressed by this call and he smiled at his friends. Peter was positively squealing with pleasure now.

"Creevey, Louise", and a pretty girl walked up to the Hat with a smile in the Gryffindor table's direction. "She's got to be one of us", said Sirius and James agreed. When the Hat called "GRYFFINDOR" she smiled warmly at her housemates as they roared in welcome and Remus could have sworn that when she spotted Sirius she flushed in excitement. She walked down the table towards the other first years while taking occasional glances at Sirius. Remus just shook his head at this. Even first years could spot beauty when they saw it. A few more people were sorted and Sirius and James guessed correctly each time.

Remus watched Sirius's features contort with (handsome) distaste as the name, "Lestrange, Rabastan" was called to be sorted. "A new member for Snape's group" he said with contempt and Remus understood as he looked to the Slytherin table and saw Rabastan's brother, Rodolphus, give a loud cheer as his sibling sat down. It seemed before the Hat touched his head, the cocky boy was pronounced a Slytherin and he swaggered over to the cheering table to take a place beside his brother. Sirius and James cursed him loudly, but luckily the Slytherin cheers drowned them out enough not to attract any teacher's attention. Paul Madley became a Hufflepuff, Sam McDonald became a Gryffindor and Stephanie Owen became yet another Hufflepuff.

The Marauders were surprised when Peter said with confidence that Casey Pritchard would be a Slytherin and they were even more surprised that he was right. They looked at them quizzically before he shrugged his shoulders and said, "The Pritchards live down the street from me. They've all been Slytherins according to my mum" and they understood. Remus joined in, and together the four of them guessed correctly what house each first year would enter. They concluded as Candida Quirke became a Ravenclaw and finally Thomas Whitby became a Hufflepuff.

Professor McGonagall took the seat and the Hat away and all chattering died away as Professor Dumbledore stood up. Everybody faced him and in a reverent silence, they sat patiently waiting for him to speak. Remus felt a familiar feeling of guilt when he looked up at the wizened wizard. He felt terrible about having lead three of his fellow students into becoming animagi illegally. After all Dumbledore had done for him. He had accepted him when nobody else had. He listened raptly.

"It was once said by a respected wizard that great speeches were those which lasted" and Dumbledore smiled as many people groaned in annoyance, as many people's stomachs were now rumbling. He then continued, "But I never did agree with him! Enjoy your meal" and many people laughed appreciatively as their shining golden plates were suddenly piled with many tottering towers of delicious food. Remus watched Sirius tentatively as the raven-haired boy slowly consumed his food. Professor McGonagall handed out their timetables as the ate. The boys were enjoying their food immensely when Remus heard a definite silence fall around the Hall. It wasn't like the Hall was completely noiseless, but people had started to speak in curiously hushed voices. It was James nudging Sirius and pointing that showed Remus what the strange stillness was about. He looked for Sirius's reaction before turning around and saw that a small smile played on his mouth. Remus's heart sank as he watched three of his year group walking tantalizingly and obviously towards the end of the Gryffindor table...Remus felt great annoyance as three extremely pretty Ravenclaw girls came over, eyes on Sirius all the way. Everyone seemed to be watching now and Remus looked back to see how Sirius was acting. His expression had changed none and Remus looked over to James, who was grinning knowingly. The girls were Siobhan Davies and Shannen Teazel, led by Maria Chang. Maria stood, hand on hip in front of Sirius when she finally reached him. Her friends stood beside her, but further back a little. Sirius now looked up curiously, "Yeah?" The Ravenclaw quidditch captain grinned and she asked with unmistakable confidence, "Well, I was wondering, Siri, if you would go out with me". Remus was sure his heart had stopped. Her friends purred in approval, but also jealousy. Sirius sighed and looked back up at Maria with a frown. It was a moment before he answered. Remus held his breath. "Sorry Maria, but no", he said to Remus's delight. He began to breathe again and his heart pounded once again in his chest. Remus heard a great many girls sigh in relief also. Sirius looked apologetically at her but she shook her head, crestfallen, but as though she'd been expecting it. "Nah...that's okay Sirius", and then her face suddenly brightened.

"Well", she said and cheekily continued, "I wouldn't mind some compensation... ..a kiss maybe?" And she looked hopefully at Sirius. Remus's heart gave a jolt of pain as a grin spread over his face. James and a great amount of other people laughed at her boldness. Sirius said "Well, seeing as though you were so forward..yeah" and Maria beamed at him with pure joy. Remus knew he didn't want to see this, but he couldn't leave. Dumbledore was yet to address the school again after the feast. So he would have to suffer this, and suffering seemed the perfect word to Remus just now. The girl and Sirius had the full attention of the Hall now, but Sirius looked as if he couldn't care less. Always so confident, Remus thought.

Sirius nudged James over so he was pressed against Perry McKinnon, who was also watching in deep interest. James did so too willingly for Remus's liking. Maria sat down on the newly made space on the bench with her back to the table, elbows leaning casually on the surface and she was so close to Sirius and Remus's heart, body and mind objected to it. But he said nothing. She looked lustfully up at Sirius and still unperturbed by the amount of watchers, Siri pulled her closer to him and kissed her expertly. She flushed with enjoyment at the sensation and her friends gasped in awe, as did loads of people. Remus, unable to continue watching, tore his eyes from them to see the surrounding scene. Shannen, her friend stood watching with her mouth open and she actually had to wipe away a slight trace of drool from her lips. Siobhan was also gaping at them and her lip quivered, making Remus imagine she was fantasizing she was Maria. He looked about the Hall and almost every girl was staring and looking as though they would have given anything for to be Maria or else they where whispering excitedly to mates without taking their eyes off of the kissing pair. He noticed a few boys were giving Siri yearning looks and other, straighter boys were giving great looks of sanction.

Remus looked back at them. Sirius finally pulled away. Thank God, Remus thought. The girl's eyes remained closed for a second as though savouring the moment. She looked one last time lustfully at Sirius before reluctantly getting up. She made an "mmm" noise as she licked her swollen lips. Some people burst into applause and the girl stood with her friends. When the clapping stopped, Maria looked back down at Siri and said, "Won't you go out with me?" in a pleading voice. Remus's heart was constricting more every second and he wondered how much more he could take. He felt flushed and flustered as he stared hard at Sirius, awaiting his reply. He shook his head, "Nope" and Remus relaxed ever so slightly, but was brought back to boiling point when Shannen spoke up saying:

"Wow, I don't think me and Siobhan would mind some compensation!" Sirius laughed. "No, I've had enough kisses tonight thanks", were the words that gave Remus relief. The girls shrugged off their rejection unconvincingly and they all said their "byes" and walked back to their own table, where they were met by a lot of questions. Remus heard Maria say very loudly, "Yeah, he's an amazing kisser! Best kiss I've ever had" and Remus didn't doubt she'd had plenty. Remus felt as though he'd happily have watched her fall off of a cliff at that moment. It's not fair. I'll never know how it feels to kiss Sirius, he thought. He felt that if he'd been able to look into a mirror, his eyes would have been green, pure with jealousy and misted over with red showing his anger.

Sirius moved back over in his seat to release James from being squashed further by him. His expression was calm and he looked as though nothing remarkable had just happened. Everybody was still ogling at him and Peter looked as though it he'd just heard news that he'd become Minister for Magic. James was staring with an enormous grin. But Sirius just picked up his timetable and began examining it. "Damn, Potions with the Slytherins first", he said with an easy calmness. Remus saw from the look on James's face that that's not what he wanted to talk about at all. He wanted details on how that felt and how the hell had he had the guts to do it in front of everyone. But Siri just looked up at them with a frown, "What?"

"Padfoot!" James exclaimed, "You're not even going to refer to what you just did?" Sirius laughed, "Well...no. It wasn't a big deal. I just kissed a girl. End of story"  
James shook his head as he too laughed. "Well okay then..." and another silence fell over the room. Remus thought for one horrible moment that somebody else was coming to ask Sirius to kiss them, but he noticed people were looking up at the staff table. Then he saw why: Dumbledore had stood up.

With one amused expression at Sirius, the headmaster cleared his throat and began to speak. At once the Hall was hushed completely and only a few people were still looking at Siri now.

"Ah", he said, "Now that we are full, I'd just like to give mention to one or two important things before we retire to bed. I'd like to point out to our new students, and remind our older students, that the Forest in the school grounds is strictly forbidden, and also is the wizarding village of Hogsmeade to anyone below third year. It is finally my pleasure to introduce to you our new Potions teacher, Professor Algen Reficul", and he pointed down the staff table towards him. Remus had forgotten all about him. Reficul gave a curt nod as Dumbledore set the crowd in a welcome applause. The Gryffindors clapped unenthusiastically as they heard the tumultuous roar from Slytherin house.

"Figures that they'd like him", James growled. "Yeah, every Potions teachers an evil ex-Slytherin" Sirius added with great dislike. Both their eyes were glinting maliciously, Remus noted. He had a feeling they would have said more, had it not been for Dumbledore continuing.

"Well, that's all I think. Early rise in the morning, so bedtime now!" and he sat down. The Hall rose and walked down to the double-doored entrance. Remus saw James waving at somebody in the crowd ahead and he craned over a second year to see who. Lily Evans, of course. Normally, she'd have scowled and turned away, but now she was waving with a light smile on her face. James beamed at her and Sirius said, "Wow, James! You might be in with a chance this year, mate." James smiled and said "It's only a matter of time" and told the Marauders he would be up in about twenty minutes, so the rest walked up to the Gryffindor Tower. Remus was annoyed as a few daring girls grabbed Sirius' ass on their way up. But Sirius didn't seem to take much notice.

The common room was carefully concealed behind a large portrait of the "Fat Lady". Remus made his way to the front of the crowd outside it and said "Cactus Cellar", the password. The portrait door swung open and he directed the first years into the Gryffindor Common Room and told them how to get to their dorms. Remus looked around the cosy Common Room for his mates and saw they must have gone up already. He stood for a second, taking in the scene he loved. A fire blazed in the grate and the room was very welcoming with the overstuffed armchairs and the old tables that were scattered all over the place. He walked up the last spiral staircase to his dorm and drank in the sight at the top. He looked around the room. Five large four-poster beds stood with dark crimson hangings and at the end of each bed, was their trunks. Remus walked over to his bed. It was the one closest to the door and directly opposite of Sirius. Sirius's was next to James. At the far end of the room was Perry McKinnon and beside Remus was Peter.

He looked over at Peter, who was already in bed talking excitedly about what Sirius and Maria had done. James entered soon behind Remus and was soon in his pyjamas and was hanging up the National Quidditch team poster and some pictures. Perry McKinnon was sitting on his bed listening intently to the conversation. Remus started changing into his pyjamas at precisely the same moment as Siri. Remus stole a look at Sirius as he stood topless while he paused to tell Peter, yet again, that it had been "no big deal". Remus was lost in his fine muscles. The way his smooth skin pulled tightly over his tanned chest. He marvelled at it and imagined running his hands over it. He was pulled out of his reverie by Sirius's voice.

"Moony, are you okay? You look a bit, umm, dazed..", Sirius said, his brows furrowing slightly in a very cute way.

"Yeah...I'm fine..just tired", and he looked away, blushing and trying to hide it as he realized he'd been caught staring.

"Okay, well I'm gonna sleep now guys", and with a nod to Remus, "I'm knackered too."

The five boys got into bed and pulled their curtains closed around them. Remus listened attentively to Sirius's light breathing and sighed as it got slower. He was asleep, as were the others. Peter was definitely out for it because he was lightly snoring. Remus lay there, comfortable in the snug bed, and drifted off to sleep feeling perfectly happy to be back, sleeping in the same room as Sirius and his other mates. As dreams flitted through his head, the tall, dark-haired boy made his many usual appearances and he lay there, asleep, with a smile of utter fulfillment. ,--,--,--,--,--,--, 


	3. Anything For A Friend

Chapter 3 Anything For A Friend

Sirius turned over in his bed with his hands over ears. Just one more hour! Ten minutes even!

"No...", he moaned, "leave me alone!" And he felt his hands being taken away from his ears.

"Get up Sirius! You're not going to be late for your first class being back and with a new teacher...we don't know what he's like yet", came the voice of James, who was now shaking him.

Sirius slowly opened his eyes and saw James sitting on his bed looking both flustered and amused all the same by the task of waking him up. Sirius frowned at him, still adjusting to the light. Something behind James stirred and Sirius looked by him to see Peter had dropped his bag. Always careless, he is, thought Sirius. Peter giggled quietly, going pink at his small blunder. Remus was standing next to him, looking down on Sirius also in amusement and shaking his head at him in a carefree way. Well, he doesn't have poor Jamie's job, Sirius thought smiling at his own being difficult.

"No..", he moaned again, but his time he sat up as he did so and he saw James' quiet look of triumph. He might as well get up, he was awake now anyways and they wouldn't let him sleep. Sirius ruffled his hair, yawned widely and stretched before stepping out of bed. He went into the bathroom to get ready. He splashed his face with freezing cold water and looked up into the mirror. Sirius looked annoyed at his hair and combed it, even though it was perfectly fine. He scowled at the mirror when it said, "Looking good!" with enthusiasm. Of course, he wasn't surprised the mirror spoke, these were some of the things wizards took for granted. That was normal. But he growled at the mirror. He did not feel good. He wanted to go back to bed. No, Sirius Black never had been a morning person. Sure the mirror had complimented him, but it had annoyed him because who needed told they looked opposite of how they felt? Anybody else might have been happy with being told this when feeling bad, but Sirius hated his thoughts and feelings being messed with. He brushed the thought aside and went to take a shower. The water refreshed him enormously and now he felt good. Sirius would do this a lot, one minute he felt like crap, and the next he was bright and alert. He got his robes on and looked back in the mirror. This time he smiled at the mirror as it told him he was 'looking pretty fine'. He bounced back out into the dorm where they were waiting for him and he grinned at them.

"How can you change your mood so easily? Five minutes ago you were dying and now your bloody bouncing about..", said James, grinning.

"Yeah, where does that energy come from? It's like it kicks in late, but lasts longer than everyone elses", Peter mused.

It was true that Sirius had remarkable energy, it just needed some time to awaken in him and then he was the normal in-your-face-like-it-or-not-Sirius. But most people didn't complain anyway. He was very popular in fact, and it was only torpid gits like Snape who had a problem with him, but the feeling was more than mutual, so not an issue.

Sirius just shrugged his shoulders and took lead by leaving the room. The others followed suit and they saw a small group of girls in the Common Room. James'll be happy, he thought as he saw Lily Evans and her friends. His friend gave him an exceedingly thankful look as Sirius called over them to talk to a girl he'd gone out with last year. Jamie gave him a look that said 'I could just kiss you' when Sirius said to Alyssa Spinnet and the other girls that they would walk them to class. The girls all beamed at him, fluttering their eyelashes as usual, except from Lily, who was frowning, slightly warily while giving James a short glance. But her friends pulled her along, apparently delighted to be walking down with the boys. They were very early, so they walked slowly.

James was walking along beside Lily and talking enthusiastically to her. She seemed to be softening to James now, but still looked as though she was reluctantly enjoying the conversation. Remus and Peter were walking ahead a little and Sirius could feel the tiniest bit disconcerted as he was sure Remus was glaring as he gave the tiniest of looks over his shoulder at Sirius and Alyssa. Wonder what's up with him, he thought as he walked on with her. He forgot though when Alyssa said with a definite and obvious note of jealousy in her voice, "Saw you and Maria yesterday". It was also in an accusing tone and Sirius felt she was expecting an explanation or something. But there was nothing to explain. What about it? He just kissed a girl. Not the strangest of things for a guy to do, was it?

"Yeah...?" He said and he frowned at her. Where was this going, and why did everyone seem to think it unusual?

"Well. Just thought I'd mention it....", but Sirius knew there was something else. He couldn't be bothered asking though and he figured she'd spit it out in her own time anyway.

"Okay", he said simply and she gave a groan of annoyance before getting to her point, seeing he clearly wasn't going to say any more about it.

"Well, that's not actually what I wanted to say. I've wanted to know for a while..", she trailed off.

"What?" he asked, quite tired of the conversation already. She looked a little embarrassed now.

"Well..." And she paused before rushing out her next words, "Whyd'youdumpme?", she said. Sirius raised an eyebrow at her to show he hadn't heard properly. She heaved a sigh then said it slightly slower. "Why did you dump me?" She asked him, looking away.

Okay, that was quite unexpected and Sirius was the teensiest bit taken aback. "I told you then. Didn't I?"

"No", she said firmly, "you just said "I don't want to go out with you any more" " and she looked away again, blushing furiously. Then quietly, "What did I do wrong, Siri?" Sirius didn't quite know what to say. What had been the reason? Was there one? It certainly hadn't been anything Alyssa had done. She'd been perfect and she was very cute. So to give himself more time to think of a reason for dumping her, he reassured her.

"You didn't do anything wrong", he said and she looked back at him, clearly confused. Sirius might have felt uncomfortable, but he'd had this question before from many girls. All wanting to know why he'd dumped them. Why did they torture themselves by asking this question? I mean, why would somebody want to know what reason somebody had for dumping them? Girls could just be plain weird. But Sirius knew that it was a bit strange that he couldn't think of any particular reason.

"Then why?" She said with some hope. Sirius thought, oh no. She isn't... But she did, "Can't we try again?"

Sirius stopped and looked at her, pityingly. He'd already been out with her. Sirius didn't much like repeating things that he'd already felt he wanted to stop. But what was he going to say? How could he put it in a way that wouldn't hurt her?

"Alyssa, we've already been there. It just...didn't wor-" and he was cut off. "I love you", she blurted out and immediately put a hand to her mouth in regret. Damn. Well, this was not a first either. But only once had this happened before. He had been pretty shocked then and it was nothing short of the feeling he had now.

"Oh..erm..Alyssa, I'm - er - sorry but.." He stopped instantly and pulled her into a hug. She cried onto his shoulder. "I really am sorry Alyssa, I had no idea", he tried to console her.

"I-it's-not-your-fault", she said through sobs, "I wasn't-supposed-to tell-you that" and she calmed her breathing before continuing. "I'll be OK. I just...need to...I'm going to my dorm. Tell the Professor I'm sick or something..."

Sirius nodded and made sure she was all right before he turned from her shaking retreating back with her friends loyally going after her. He looked to his own friends. They were waiting at the class door with looks of unease. Sirius looked at them to see what they made of that.

James spoke first, "Whoah, mate. Dunno how the hell you managed to deal with that! I wouldn't have known what to do with myself", and Sirius saw Peter nod in agreement. Remus had a strange un-placeable look on his face. What was it? Anger? With Sirius?

"Moony, what's up with you?" Sirius asked. Remus looked up at him and the look was gone in an instant, as though he'd imagined it.

"Oh, nothing. Is that not annoying?" He asked leaving Sirius to wonder what for a second. Remus must have saw his look because he then said, "Girls. All the time. All over you, just expecting you to love them?"

James wheeled around at Remus. Sirius thought about the question. Girls did expect a lot of him. But really, it only bothered him when things like this happened. It was only after going out with a girl, that they seemed to start annoying him.

"Why would that be annoying? Girls falling down at you all the time?" James was asking Remus. Remus looked slightly ruffled a moment, but quickly regained composure as he replied somewhat abruptly, "No..that's not what I meant" he said but looked as though he didn't quite actually know why he had said it. Sirius looked at him curiously and saw he was now blushing.

"Well, I suppose - ", he began but the look on James' face made him stop. James was looking at Remus as though something had just dawned on him. It was like he'd been trying to work something out for ages and had just figured it out.

"Moony...", James said, now looking a little shocked. Sirius looked at Remy. He looked absolutely mortified at James' expression and Sirius didn't think he'd been more confused in all his life.

Remus began shaking his head convulsively. James bit his lip. Sirius looked to Peter and was relieved to find he was not the only one who didn't have a clue what was happening. James looked down for a second to the floor and Remus was still shaking his head and looking as though he could burst out crying any moment. Sirius didn't want him to cry. He had already had one person crying on his shoulder, he did not now need one of his best mates to start it too. Suddenly James' head snapped up and he stared at Remus a second longer, looking as though he'd just noticed how mortified Remus looked.

"What - ", Peter tried. James waved his hand at him to hush him and Peter stopped immediately. Then when worry was etched plainly on Remus' face, James spoke up, "Remus", when was James ever this formal, "I think I need a word with you" he said seriously.

"What's this all about?" Sirius finally said. James bit his lip again, but did not take his eyes off of Remus. Sirius did not get an answer. Remus suddenly stood up straight and his face seemed completely void of expression when he said, "Jamie, I'd rather not say anything. Not just now". And James looked at him, then to Lily and her friends as they came back down the dungeon steps, minus Alyssa. Must have told them to go. Not to miss class. Considerate like that, Alyssa was, Sirius thought. They were being closely followed by the Slytherins - by Snape, who was walking with Professor Reficul, he noted before turning back to his friends.

James nodded his head and turned his voice casual and said with a look at Snape, "Oh great, here's greasy".

Sirius did not like being left out of the loop, but he decided to drop the subject and he could tell Remus was thankful for it. Whatever it was, he'd probably find out later.  
.--.

Remus was inexpressibly thankful for the arrival of their new teacher. He was thankful for James for not continuing to try talk to him about it and also, he was grateful that Sirius and Peter did not get annoyed with James and himself for not telling them what that was all about. Oh God, he thought, I can't believe James knows! I can't believe Sirius just nearly found out! He'd hate me if he knew I'm attracted to him. That I love him! Oh God! Does James know I love Siri, or did he just realize I fancy guys..But I don't fancy guys. Just Sirius. So, OK, I don't fancy girls either. So I'm gay then. Oh GOD! What does James think? What if he's disgusted? What if he does tell Sirius?...No. I know James wouldn't do that. But he might hate me. Remus was panicking inside.

Professor Reficul let the class in and the boys sat up the back. Remus had sat at the end of the wooden table, James had sat beside him, then Sirius, then Peter. Remus gave a worried look to James and caught his eye. James smiled reassuringly to him and he leaned in and whispered to Remus as the teacher began to take their names from the register to see who was present.

"Carfinnian Avery?" Professor Reficul spoke in a frigid and odious deep voice. He looked irascible, as though he could be easily angered by something. Remus was now adding the worry of being reprimanded by Reficul for speaking to James, to the already-terrifying fear of what he might say.

"Remus.." James began as Karen Bell was called. Remus looked at him with evident worry. He flinched when he heard the next name being said and answered:

"Sirius Black?", called the silky deep voice. "Here", called back the incisive one. Remus looked up at James, hoping he would have not noticed his reaction to the name, but knew straight away his hopes were pointless. James wore a worried frown. The worry of being scolded drifted from Remus's mind as he turned to devote his full attention to this more immediate problem. Reficul's voice faded way into the distance.

James looked very pained. He said, "It's OK, you know.." Huh? What exactly was okay? He just stared. He could not ask, for his throat was too dry and he was sure if his mouth let any sound escape, it would have been more of a choked cry. So he didn't try and James relieved him from the attempt anyway.

"It is OK. Yeah. Don't worry about it. I'm not gonna say a thing", James said as though he was deciding as he said it. Remus looked at him more intensely. Was he alright with it though? Having a gay mate? Or a gay-for-the-one-person, Remus corrected. Gay for one person? No. anything for that person. Anything.

He managed to gain some moisture back in his throat at this though. At least James wouldn't tell Sirius.

"But..are you disgusted ", he whispered, not sure he wished to hear the answer. What if James was? If it wasn't for Sirius, would this kind of thing bother me? Nah, he reasoned, I've always held empathy for minorities. Werewolves aren't exactly the most common thing in the world after all... 

"No!" James hissed, sounding to Remus's relief, a lot surer. The answer had come too quick to be a lie anyway. "Look, you said you don't want to talk about it, right? Well, I just thought I'd let you know that I won't say a word...and that..I'm fine with it. A little shocked, well yeah, but no, not disgusted. Moony, if you do want to talk about it, you can, to me. I'm OK with it. If you need.."

"Okay", Moony rushed feeling as though the conversation was killing him. Feeling as though James's understanding was too much. Much more than he deserved. "Thanks Ja - ", he began but was startled to find a tall menacing figure had just came over to his desk looking down on him with cold fury.

"REMUS LUPIN", Professor Reficul spat, "Am I right in believing that is you", he sneered. Remus noticed Snape standing close behind Reficul with Evan Rosier, sniggering with his eyes dancing with delight.

"Yes sir!" Remus said with some shock. "Then why is it that everyone in here, so far, has not needed their name called five times and forcing me to approach their tables before answering to their name?" And he was left with no time to answer anyway, "Are you unable to recognise your own name being said from all the way across what, several meters? Perhaps you need to clean out your ears..", more sniggering and Remus felt his face going red. He's taking this a bit far... "Or perhaps you are just as insolent as you look?" Reficul was leaning now casually against the side worktops and looked as though he was thoroughly enjoying himself ridiculing Remus and looking indecently amused when he heard Snape and his mates' now undisguised laughter. Remus didn't often feel angry, but his was an exception. He'd only missed hearing his name on the register. He was now positively shaking with anger and he wasn't going to take this any longer. He must say something...

"I think you're bloody overreacting just a teensy bit, don't you?" Were the words shouted at the teacher. But Remus would never have been that cheeky, he was more than shocked to find that it was Sirius's voice that shook slightly with anger. He looked round at him and James did too. Sirius was standing a good few inches taller than Reficul with his wand out, looking furiously at him and Remus was sure, had there not been a table between them, Sirius would have punched his lights out, never mind hexing him to death.

Everybody was staring at Sirius either in shock or that and a mixture of awe. Of course, the Slytherins did not hold awe, though a few looked as though they were trying determinedly to cover it. Snape and Rosier had stopped laughing immediately and were looking frightened. This didn't perplex Remus at all; he'd never seen Sirius look so angry, intimidating and frightening in his life. But Reficul's look was one that Remus would remember forever. He looked at one moment as though he were cornered by fifty-odd wizards all threatening him with their wands. He looked shocked, too, and his mouth flapped open and shut, searching for control over the situation. He looked too shocked, even to get his own wand out and Remus was sure he would have been scared of dueling with Sirius in his intense rage.

"Sirius, don't", Remus said, pleading. If he did anything...he'd be expelled for sure. Attacking a teacher. Oh God, it'd be all my fault, Remus immediately thought.

When Remus spoke, it seemed to alight something in his teacher's eyes and he suddenly jerked his body as though waking up to the situation. He seemed to just remember he was a teacher. He was in control.

"If you don't sit down this second, I'll have you expelled!" He panted in triumphant tones. Sirius had also changed his countenance when Remus had spoken. He had lowered his wand and his face was blank. Remus noticed he too was standing and wondered briefly when this had happened.

Remus looked at Sirius."Sit down, I said", the Professor repeated, barely audible. What Sirius did next was more shocking than storming out of class would have been or hexing the teacher. Thumping Professor Reficul would have looked more placed with the scene at the time.

Sirius's blank face broke into a grin. He shrugged his shoulders and sat down with all the calmness, placing his wand casually in his robes as though he'd just practiced a spell or something simple. Remus sat down instantly too. Wow, Remus thought. His friends ability to instantly change like that was nothing short of astonishing. He sat with his grin still in place. And it looked like a natural grin. Not at all forced. Peter was looking as though his eyes would pop any second as he stared open-mouthed at Sirius. Remus was sure his would fall out any second if anything more shocking would happen to widen his own eyes. James was looking proud, yet shocked at his best mate, and Sirius..He was just sitting looking expectantly up at Reficul, head cocked to one side looking for all the world cute in this strangest moment.

Reficul took a good few minutes to recover. This was even more of a shock than Sirius's threatening him, it seemed. The class had broken into quick murmurs about these new events. Snape was eyeing Sirius warily as he spoke to Rosier.

Professor Reficul looked, once again, as though he'd just awoken to the situation. "Right..." He said hesitantly, then found steadiness for his voice again, "Detention. The two of you", Two? Oh....himself...of course. "Friday. Here at five. Yes.." And he walked more confidently up to the front of the class and sat in his seat.

He looked pointedly at Sirius as he said, "Never again will a pupil lose control in my class like that. No. Expulsion sounds appropriate, I think. Yes, if anyone repeats that scene - expulsion. And", he said looking through his narrowed deadened grey eyes at Remus, "People will answer their names as it is called from the register". Remus saw him glaring at him and couldn't help but feel the Professor was more annoyed at him for this than at Sirius for his near attack. James now looked as though he were about to say something, but Remus saw Sirius shake his head and James instantly closed his mouth looking irritated. They must have noticed Reficul's undeniable and unexplained hatred of Remus. Noticed that it was so bad that his simple mistake had irked him more than Sirius's expel-worthy one. Peter had stopped looking at them, as though scared, perhaps, that Sirius would take his head off, least he glance at him.

Everyone had turned back to the teacher and Remus thought that their silent gaping was to study what he would do next. He picked up his parchment and read the last of the names from the register, after repeating Remus's. Remus had been quick and clear in his reply, not wishing for an action-replay of the scene.

Once he'd finished, he looked up at the class saying, "We are now about twenty minutes into our class time. Thankfully, I'd been planning a speech on how I conduct my classes, which I'm sure may now be excused as we waste no more time of our double period. Now, instructions are on the board, follow them carefully and we should all have a clear truth potion by the end of the period. I doubt we will all have this result as I'm sure" looking again at Remus "that some of us are not quite adept in the subject of potions. Start now, and not a single word is to be heard."

Remus was quite glad on one hand of the silence. He felt that he must concentrate on his potion, for if he failed, he dreaded to think what Reficul would do. And even more what Sirius would do. Remus had not expected that at all. This was the reason he did wish to speak, to tell Sirius never to do that again. It could not happen again. Sirius being expelled would certainly have been the end of Remus. He noticed by the end of the period, through the deathly silence, that Peter was the only Marauder that failed to achieve a clear potion. Remus had had to be very careful, referring to the board every five seconds, but he had made it all the same. Much to Reficul's distaste, because he had been wandering around the class and had stopped for a while behind Remus, waiting for him to make a mistake under the pressure. But he had been determined not to and Remus often done well when he was determined. He had looked eager to have something more to ridicule Remus over, but had found nothing. Remus reflected how he and Sirius had managed to both receive detentions twenty minutes into their first day back. At least he hadn't taken points off. He couldn't have taken that too.

Sirius and James had made the potion easily. Remus had not even noticed either of them looking up once at the board, yet their Veritaserum, as it was called, was perfect. As everything else they did was. Peter looked on the verge of tears as Reficul had noticed the friend of Remus's was in trouble. If he couldn't vent his anger on him, it seemed a friend would work as a substitute. Snape had resorted back to laughing at the Marauders as he, too made a perfect potion. But his laughter had still held a single note of wariness, not wishing a fight from Sirius. The Professor commented how excellent his potion was and said how much of a talent he had, but commented nothing on the flawless Veritaserum of Remus, James and Sirius. Snape looked smug. Oh, it was a terrible thing to see.

Remus had never been more happy to see the tail-end of a lesson since first coming to Hogwarts. He had to tell Sirius never to risk expulsion for him ever again. He was also glad to be getting away from Snape and the worry of James having realised his secret, though still there gnawing at his mind, was not the biggest problem he had to confront.

They began walking, slowly, in silence up to the Great Hall for the interval. Sirius was humming a tune softly and carefree as you like. Peter was darting the occasional nervous glance at Sirius and James looked as though he might say something any minute. Remus knew he certainly didn't want to be the one who brought it up. Yet it had to be done sometime...Just not this second.

They all whipped round when they heard a familiar sneering voice coming from a short distance away. It sounded highly amused. Remus caught his breath as he thought of another scene. Peter clearly whimpered.

"Give you that, Lupin, did he?" Snape jeered. Remus knew, especially after the look of fear that had been in place on his face less than an hour ago, that Snape would never had dared this much bravery for a confrontation with the three best wizards in the school, oh, and Peter, if he hadn't been flanked with his burly ogre-like friends, Avery, the Lestrange brothers (Rabastan had joined), Rosier and Wilkes. But what did Snape mean?

"Who give me what", he snapped, shocked because he hadn't actually meant to be so abbrupt. Peter was backing away from the hostility, but James and Sirius had stepped forwards menacingly. No! Sirius seemed determined to be kicked out of the school!

"That", Snape said pointing to Remus's face. Remus thought a moment before realising what he was pointing at. The bruise Remus had had on his face had not fully left yet, but was fading still. Then Remus came over confused again as he thought who did Snape mean 'gave him' it. And it dawned on him as Snape continued.

"Vicious temper Black here, has, is it - " but Snape was on the ground before he could say 'not?'. Both Remus and Sirius had gone for him and his friends stood there, not so brave as they looked on at the scene. They had only a punch in each when they felt something gripping them off of Snape's not-nearly-damaged-enough body. They looked around angrily and Remus and Sirius were both very shocked to see it was James who had stopped them with a spell. His wand was raised high and Peter looked as though he was about to run away.

Sirius and Remus stopped trying to get back to Snape immediately and stood waiting for an explanation from their mate. James did not look at them, but he looked at Snape.

"Now, go! Go!" James said and as Sirius made to speak in protest, James gave him a look that clearly said, 'not now'. Snape looked up, terrified and he looked at his mates, who still looked unwilling to put themselves against the angry marauders, even if there six of them including Snape and only 4 of the them, if you could count Peter. He was useless really, so it might as well have been two to one. Remus, through his fury at James for stopping him, realized as Snape got up that he had had the sense to know that even out-numbered like this, his gang were no match for Hogwarts' best students. Snape fled and at his heels, his 'mates' were fleeing too.

Remus looked back at James and spotted in turning that Sirius was already looking at him with repressed anger and an expectant look on his face. He was clearly wanting to know what excuse his friend ,James Potter of all people (it was well known that he and Snape were sworn enemies), had stopped this fight.

"Don't give me that look Sirius. I stopped you for your sake y'know. You've already been near being kicked out once today, remember, our first day back? Well, there are more subtle ways of retaliation. I thought you of all people knew that, Padfoot. And Moony! Since when were you the one who started beating on Snape?"

Remus defiantly said, "Sirius stood up for me today and I was returning the favour", with a little trace of guilt in his voice. He had always disapproved of the way James and Sirius treated Snape. He'd always thought, if they just spoke to him. But that thought became ludicrous in his head as he thought of the anger Snape had built in him then. Suggesting Sirius would ever hurt a friend! He'd already shown today how loyal he was to them - him - today. At risk of being expelled! This thought brought back what Remus had wanted to say.

"But James is right where you are concerned Sirius! What the hell are you trying to do? Do you not want to stay at Hogwarts? 'Cos if you don't - "

"Of course I do! I'm not going to stand and watch him, Reficul or anybody do anything to my mates though.." then his face broke into a sudden grin, as only Sirius could do. Even through his frustration, Remus could feel his own self smiling. Sirius burst out laughing and that set them all off, Peter laughing with obvious false mirth to begin with, then being caught up in the moment and splitting his sides.

Remus had tears in his eyes when he was finally able to stop. He had been bent over double, gasping for air. He wasn't really sure why they were laughing, but he couldn't help but do so anyway. It was Sirius who recovered fully first and his expression, slightly more serious but now with a familiar glint of mischief.

"So, James, what was this I heard about some 'subtle retaliation'?" And once James was able to calm himself he looked up to reply.

"Well, it involves sneaking into the Slytherin dorms, if we don't die of some disease in the process and giving Snape something to - erm - give him a better dress sense", he added suspiciously.

Sirius looked beautiful, Remus thought when he wore this roguish look. "Are we all in then?" he asked before knowing really what it was.

"Oh no, I'm going nowhere near the Slytherin dorms", Remus said, appalled, yet amused as to what James might have planned. They looked to Peter who shook his head wildly as though shaking it slightly would not have been enough. Sirius looked to James with an oh-so-cute mock-hurt look and said deliberately slowly, "Oh - well, - just the two - of us", then grinned. Peter pointed out that it was time to start heading for their next classes. Remus and Sirius had to climb to a tower top to reach their Divination class taught by Miss Reficul.

On their way there, Remus noticed everyone seemed to know about Sirius in Reficul's class. Many people patted him on the back, gave their awed congratulations and Remus noticed to his utter disappointment that the girls, though he'd thought it impossible, were paying even more attention as they made their way upward. Remus thought that Sirius's ass would soon be sore if he got any more girls grabbing it. They must have thought his boldness was hot and when Remus came to think of it, he had to admit the hotness of it too. Droolworthy, it would have been, had he not been panicking.

They walked up the ladders into class and Remus was instantaneously dazed by the sickening sweet smell burning over the stuffy class' fireplace. She was, as usual, burning some sweet floral-scented something.

The pair took their usual places on the leather seats with pouffes, that Sirius immediately used as a footstool. Remus thought during the first fifteen or so minutes of the period about how Miss Reficul treated him nothing like her brother did; another way in which they were different.

After that long, Remus was only able to daydream...about Sirius. It seemed less of a bad idea to stare lovingly at Sirius in this room somehow...Remus chuckled inwardly at the concerned look Sirius threw him during class as he continued to stare. Ah, how stunning Siri is like that. Just lying there with that frown. Propped up on the seat very slightly. His lips soft, luscious and tasty and Sirius can see I'm looking at them. Hee hee... Remus really couldn't stop his eyes wandering over Sirius's perfect anatomy...

"Are you OK?" seemed to come the faint words in Sirius's voice, but they seemed to be out of sync with his mouth movements. Remus's mind only misted over more and by the end of period, his eyelids were beginning to fall as he felt dreams coming to cloud over his mind... ,--,--,--,--,--,--, 


	4. Detention Together

Chapter 4 Detention Together

Sirius almost had to carry Remus out of Divination. That sickening aroma must have a stronger effect on him because of his acute wolf senses. Sirius thought back through the class and remembered the strange looks Remus had been giving him in there. As soon as they'd left the class, Remus had pulled brusquely away from his grip, looking definitely affronted. Sirius had asked him if he was OK as they walked down to Herbology, where they met Jamie and Peter. Remy had not been able to look him in the eye, it seemed as he answered, "Yeah...um..just a bit dazed from Divination..sorry".

Sirius knew his kind friend was lying, which was something Remus didn't normally do. The only other time Sirius could think of Remy lying was after a transformation, about how much pain he was in, but Sirius had always been able to get the truth out of him then with a simple look. But Sirius had a feeling now that Remus wasn't going to share this time, no matter how disbelieving he looked at him.

And he seemed to be refusing to look at him anyway. Remy preoccupied himself in his work and Sirius gave a questioning look to James, who Remus didn't seem to be as distant with. His response was shrugging his shoulders and Sirius couldn't help but feel he had done something wrong. He tried to think over things that he could have done, but nothing sprung to mind. It wasn't as though Remus seemed mad at him anyhow, just, evading him. This continued through the rest of their classes that day and when they finally sat down to eat, Remus was at the table five minutes before using homework as an excuse to leave.

Sirius had given James and Peter a frustrated look and asked, "Did I do something? He's like, ignoring me. He's been doing it since Divination.."

"Ack, I'm sure it's something silly..", James said as though he was covering for Remus. He sounded as though he wasn't telling them something and it was then that Sirius remembered what happened before Potions. Before he was able to ask, however, three seventh-year Gryffindors had sat down beside them. They were all beaming at Sirius. It was Melanie Brown (the most gorgeous girl in the school), Bertha Jorkins and Davie Jordan, the Gryffindor Quidditch team captain.

"Is it true about what you did to Professor Reficul?" Bertha asked in hope of getting the gossip first-hand.

"Depends what you've heard. I didn't do anything really..."Sirius said shrugging his shoulders. They all looked incredulously at him and he asked, "What?"

James sighed and said, with evident pride in his voice, "Hmm...not like Sirius Black to be modest. It was bloody brilliant the way he stood up to Reficul." Peter nodded furiously in agreement and seemed to have forgotten his fearful glances at Sirius in exchange for reverent ones.

"I bet it was", said Melanie, giving Sirius her most lustful look, she licked her lips tantalizingly then, "Perhaps not always modest, but always brave...and gorgeous". She didn't even try to cover the fact that she was flirting with him. Sirius smiled at her compliment, but said he'd talk to them all later, "I'm gonna go see Moony...Remus" he added to Melanie's confused look. She looked as though she didn't want him to go, but she said bye anyway. James got up too, and Peter followed. At Sirius's inquisitive look, James said, "I wanna see Remus too" and Sirius nodded and lead the way up to the Gryffindor Tower. "Gillyweed", said Peter as they approached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

They entered the hole as the portrait swung open. Sirius spotted Remus sitting in a comfortable armchair by the fire, staring with a troubled look into the fire. Sirius turned to stop Peter and James from advancing.

"Prongs, I know you know something here", and James hung his head in a guilty fashion, "What the hell happened before potions? I know it has to be something to do with how Remus is acting. It has to be.."

"You have to drop this one Padfoot. Come on. You're right it's to do with before potions and maybe a combination of something else...but I wasn't meant to guess..." James trailed off. "You'll find out in time, I guess, but it's not my place to tell any of you.."

"It's not nice you two keeping secrets from me or Sirius you know!" Peter said pompously.

Sirius looked like he was biting back some words, before saying, "OK. I'll drop it", and with a meaningful look at Peter, "We'll both drop it, won't we Wormtail?"

Peter nodded reluctantly. Sirius then added, "But it doesn't mean I'm not going to try find out why I'm being ignored just now" and he walked over to Remus and sat on the rug before the blazing fire. He leaned back to lie down and rested his arms behind his head. James sat in another of the surrounding chairs and Peter sat in the chair next to James.

"You done your homework then, Moony", Sirius asked, looking at the ceiling. He felt Remus's eyes on him, but as soon as Sirius turned his head to him, Remus's eyes had darted back to his hands, staring at them with renewed interest.

"Yeah, didn't have as much as I thought", Remy answered with quite an emotionless tone. Not betraying his thoughts I see, Sirius thought. He continued to ask questions of Remus, staring straight at his face all the while and Remus didn't once place his eyes on Sirius, and he gave many one word answers to him. Sirius was increasingly becoming annoyed at his normally honest friend. His face had been unreadable. Sirius had to bite his tongue to stop himself shouting after Remus as he left for bed. He was very very tired apparently. Peter had gone up too and Sirius had half the mind to go up himself, but knew he and James had a mission for tonight, so he stayed, though aversely.

Once the Common Room had cleared of stragglers, James popped up stairs and reappeared a moment later with a cloak, a frilly light blue floral dress, a piece of parchment and a small vial of pink liquid. Sirius pushed thoughts of Remus quickly from his mind and grinned easily at their mischief. Ah, now this is what I'm here for..payback on Snape, he thought happily as James put the potion in his robes and threw the cloak over the two of them.

James was happy to see Sirius grinning. At least there would be no more questions about Remus for the moment. I can't believe Remus fancies Sirius...maybe more than fancies him..how could I not have noticed before? How has Sirius not noticed? The looks he gives Sirius sometimes..I suppose he does that when Sirius isn't looking though, but I've seen it all along yet only just noticed! I suppose you don't look for things like that though..you don't expect one of your closest mates to fall in love..(was it love?) with your best mate. How long? James forced this train of thoughts from his mind as he and Siri walked out of the Common Room. He muttered, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good" pointing to the parchment with his wand and a map began to form on it almost immediately. The map had always come in handy, ever since they'd used advanced magic to make it in just their second year of Hogwarts.

Sirius had his own wand out and had illuminated a small area of the ground before them with the glowing tip of his wand. They watched the map carefully. It was amazing really, because it did not only bear the entire structure and labeled rooms of the school, it also allowed the people with it to see where anybody was in the building. They were able to see if teacher's were rounding corners to catch them or if the caretaker, Apollyon Pringle, was lurking about. They made their way to the dungeons and towards the Slytherin Common Room.

Sirius stopped outside the ugly portrait covering the entrance and James looked at him as he faced him. "How do we get in? We don't know the password, Prongs", Sirius said in confusion.

"Ah, Padfoot! You think I would miss such a detail in my cunning plan? We do know the password" James said brightly. James enjoyed being knowledgeable. He told Sirius how he had sneaked down after Snape after the welcome feast and heard the password. He also told of how he'd watched which dorm Snape had left for and this was when he had planned the prank. James laughed at Sirius's expression of proudness and he said the password to the portrait.

They carefully stepped into the Common Room. It was cold and looked like a completely different room to the Gryffindor one. There was no fire in the grate, the walls were rough stoned, everything was neat and the armchairs and the pristine tables were all set in a cold organised manner. None looked placed for socialising and a shiver ran up James' back as he walked through it and up the cold stone steps to Snape's dorm.

They carefully pushed the door open and instantly found Snape's bed; it was the one closest to the door and there was no crimson hangings around the bed to block him from view. They had thick green quilts, thicker than the Gryffindor ones and James supposed they were their luxury, instead of hangings.

Snape lay there breathing loudly, but not quite snoring. His greasy mop was spread distastefully around him on his pillow. James heard Sirius give a grunt of disgust and he knew exactly how he felt.

"Can we hurry, I'd like to get away from that filthy bugger as soon as possible", Sirius whispered. James nodded in agreement. He opened Snape's trunk and took out his robes. He flung them under Snape's bed, so he wouldn't find them and put the dress in it's place. James took out the vial and dripped most of the potion on the dress, leaving only a couple of drops left. He then went up to Snape's face and pulled his jaw slightly down on his chest, shuddering at touching the horrible cold skin, and poured the remains of the pink liquid into his slightly opened mouth.

James recoiled as soon as he could from Snape, who shuffled slightly and swallowed satisfactorily. "I'll be scrubbing my hands for weeks! Yuck!" he said. James heard Sirius stifle his laughter as they left the Slytherin dungeons. They were both shaking with silent laughter when they finally set foot in their own wonderfully cosy Common Room. Sirius let out his usual bark of laughter as he flung the invisibility cloak from him and collapsed into a nearby chair.

"Mischief managed", James managed to say to clear the map before collapsing similarly next to Sirius.

"I can't wait to see Snape's face when he discovers what we've done!", Sirius said, sounding considerably cheered up after their long day.

James smiled warmly at him, imagining it..It would just be so funny. Sirius finally stopped laughing and said to James, "If that's to happen in Potions tomorrow..I want to be wide awake to witness it. I'm gonna go to bed, Prongs".

"Yeah, me too! So, I might not have a problem getting you up tomorrow for class?" James asked hopefully. Sirius grinned and put a hand round Jamie's shoulder as they walked up to their dorm, "We'll see".

Remus woke up this time to Sirius shaking him slightly. He instantly backed away from the beautiful boys touch and felt his heart breaking as Sirius looked hurt, but said nothing. James also stood over him and Remus determinedly focused his eyes on him instead. Peter was standing looking as though his robes had been flung on. This was all very hard for Remus. He couldn't look at Sirius after behaving that way in Divination and he also didn't want to be alone with James as he felt an awkward talk about his behaviour would follow.

"You don't wanna miss the start of potions, Moony! Seriously.." James was saying. Remus was ready ten minutes later and they walked down to potions. He knew that James and Sirius were up to something. Must be that 'retaliation' thing James spoke about. Thank God that it's not another double period, Remus thought. He wondered what kind of new scene he was to face in Reficul's class.

They reached the dungeon doors and most people were already inside. Professor Reficul spat at them to sit down quickly. Remus looked around the class and when he couldn't find Snape, he turned to James, frowning. He merely pointed towards the door and said "Just watch the doors".

Remus did so with the other Marauders and the people in the class seemed to have noticed, because they too were looking at the door, then back to the Marauders, then to the door again. Remus waited anxiously. What came was more than a shock to him. He both dropped his jaw because he was startled and burst out laughing because it was damn funny.

Snape strode into the class, looking flustered for being late and really confused at the roar of laughter that went up around the class. He looked, for a moment, as though he was missing something, then shook it off and went to Professor Reficul.

"Sorry Sir, I couldn't find my robes", he said and the class' laughter rose at the comment. Snape's mate, Rosier was even stifling a laugh. Professor Reficul looked at him in shock and disgust and Snape looked slightly worried.

"So you decided to wear a floral dress instead?" Snape opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off when the class laughed impossibly louder. Snape was red in the face and Remus turned to James and asked through laughter, "How the hell did you manage to make him wear that?" But James shook his head, "Well he doesn't know, does he?" and more laughter. Snape simply looked hideous. Remus was sure his sides would rip apart soon if he didn't stop laughing.

"What do you mean a dress?" Snape's voice yelled, just above the crowd, which only made the laughter more deafening. Reficul put his hand to his chin and looked in thought for a second. He must have found which ever memory he was searching for because a second later he cleared his voice and shouted to the class, "BE QUIET". And almost immediately silence bounced off the dungeon walls and seemed to echo.

He pulled out his wand and to James and Sirius's disappointment, he muttered the countercurse on Snape. Of course, Snape still stood there in his pretty dress that clashed horribly with his ugly frame, but it seemed he was now able to see what he was wearing. Remus could tell that the class were just holding back their laughter now and some people had tears falling down their faces from the effort. Also people were shaking from silent laughter. Remus didn't know how he or the rest of the class managed to hold it in when Snape looked down, horrified at what he was wearing and ran straight through the door he came in.

Reficul looked up, furious at the class. Even the silent laughter subsided at his evil penetrating glare. It was directed at the Marauder's table. Remus looked to see how the others were reacting to this. Peter had lowered himself in his seat, cowering under the staring. Sirius, though Remus was reluctant to look, was sitting casually in his chair, tilting it back on it's two hind legs as though he had not a care in the world. James was sitting looking up at the teacher's desk with an innocent look that could charm a snake and Remus realised he'd better stop looking at them guiltily and presume his own look of innocence. He tilted his head to the side and looked eagerly to the teacher. Well, he was innocent, but he knew better than to take that fact for granted. Reficul, he felt, would just love to put the blame on him.

"If I catch who did that to Severus Snape, I shall make sure they will regret it for years to come. I will have the culprit parade themselves in front of the whole school wearing their own pretty, and pink, dresses!" Peter whimpered, but the other's just sat there and nodded gravely. Reficul's face turned a flame color at this. Remus knew what the other two weren't worried in the slightest for there was simply no proof. And no proof, no dress parades.

Remus was massively relieved when the class was finished. It was hard work keeping himself from laughing. As soon as the Marauder's left, as well as the rest of the class, laughter rang through the building. By the end of the day, everyone was talking about it. It also seemed common knowledge, of course, that it was definitely a Marauder antic and people were winking at them as they walked by or patting them on the back. Snape had always been unpopular and the only people who were not pleased at this prank were his fellow Slytherins.

It had seemed to ease some of the tension between himself and Sirius. Remus still felt wary that he might do something silly and avoided looking too much at him, but it was definitely a lot easier. Remus noticed happily, that Sirius was very pleased that Remy was talking to him again. He wondered briefly how he had been able to be so cold with Sirius, it wasn't as if he knew why Remus was staring at him in Divination. That much was clear and even James had seemed to let go asking about or speaking of what he had found out. Yes, things were finally getting back to normal.

Friday came quickly after a slow start to the week. Classes were quite demanding and Remus watched as Peter became increasingly stressed. He was coping really well with the pressure himself, and Sirius and James seemed as though there wasn't anything to be coped with in the first place. Though, they did complain a little on hearing they had weekend homework. Remus had heard Sirius ask a teacher to be let off some homework as he already had a detention on that night to handle. Even James was lightly shocked at his friend's daring, as it had been the stern Transfiguration teacher, Professor McGonagall he'd chosen to plead with. But she had simply smiled at the charmingness of Siri and said, "Now what good would a detention do if it did not put the participant in some kind of fix, Mr Black?" Remus had laughed when he heard Sirius reply, "Well, Miss, I'm sure we both realise that detention will do nobody any real good. Perhaps we should cancel that instead?" McGonagall had simply shook her head with a soft chuckle. Even the toughest of teachers had a soft spot for Sirius's charms. Well, except certain potion's teachers..

Reficul's classes were also getting more and more arduous and Remus was having points taken from their house by the cruel teacher, even though he always managed to create the required potion. Thankfully they made up the points in other classes and Siri and Jamie were noticed to be making a little extra effort not to have points taken from those classes, but added instead.

At half past four, Remus had finally persuaded Sirius to come with him to Reficul's class to receive their punishment. Remus did not wish for them to be late. He had been made to almost drag Sirius down just to make him speed up. Sirius was walking at the speed of about two miles an hour and Remus had been hesitant on allowing himself to touch Sirius, but felt forced to. He'd been finding himself too easily settling back into the old routine of staring at Sirius whenever he looked away and it became increasingly strenuous to stop staring when he turned back.

They reached the dungeon doors with, for all Remus' half-hour long efforts, just less than two minutes to spare. At least they weren't going to be late though. "Wonder what he'll make us do", Remus commented. Sirius looked at him, smiled and said, "Well, I doubt it'll just be lines" and Remus laughed. He stopped this abruptly when the dungeon door opened.

"I doubt you'll be laughing in an hour, Lupin. Follow me", Reficul said, voice thick with hatred. They were lead onto the school grounds and Sirius had trodden on the back of Reficul's shoes to try trip him up. Reficul stumbled a little, turned to glare at Sirius then walked on growling after Sirius said, "Sorry Sir, must be all too keen to get there that I didn't even notice you were in front of me. I say we speed up!" Remus bit the sides of his mouth to stop himself from smirking. Reficul seemed as though he wished not to get too much on the wrong side of Sirius after Monday and was quite lax, unlike how he was with Remus, where Sirius was concerned.

They were lead to a huge pile of wood a little off from where the gamekeeper, Ogg, lived in a small hut. It was near the edge of the woods. Reficul pointed to two tree stumps and between them were two rather blunt axes.

"You chop all the wood into pieces a foot long by about ten inches wide and thick. You have not to leave until either you have chopped it all or until, if I do, decide to take pity on you. I may just leave you to it all night..." Reficul said through a sardonic, twisted grin that made Remus feel nauseated. Sirius, however said in a sweet voice, "Our pleasure, Sir" and grinned patronisingly at Reficul. Remus turned to hide a smile.

"I'll leave you to it then", Reficul said, the smile wiped from his face. They watched as he stormed back up to the castle, black cloak billowing out behind him. Sirius waved at the retreating figure and turned his hand to make a rude gesture.  
Remus smiled and they both got down to it. It was hard work. Apart from the axes being blunt, the whole process was taking about three times longer than it should have and they had both agreed that Reficul must have bewitched the wood to hold more resistance against their merciless axes.

The day was beautiful, but cruelly hot. Nevertheless, it was a breathtaking scene. The sky held not a single cloud and Remus knew it would be a wonderful clear night. Stargazers would certainly appreciate how it would be. It wasn't long before large numbers of girls were out on the grounds and sitting nearby. Some were casually staring at Sirius and some others were hiding it, but little better. Remus wanted to force them all back into the castle. Through the heat, Sirius took off his robes and stood topless with a pair of light blue jeans, that clung happily to his perfect hips. This sent a soft wave of cooing and gasps of pleasure up from the girls and they watched open-mouthed as Sirius continued, seemingly not having noticed.

Remus stole himself many glances at his friend's perfectly tanned and toned muscly body, lightly beaded with the smallest drops of sweat. Remus figured many of the girls were imagining they were licking it off, as he himself had the strong urge to do so. He had to pull himself from the reverie of running his hands down Siri's chest in the simple, yet erotic moment. Once it approached nine, the girls headed back into the castle. The night was perfect as Remus had imagined and he and Sirius were almost finished.

Now, alone, Sirius began to speak. "Snape'll pay for his remarks" and Remus remembered how Snape had come to gloat over their punishment. Remus normally wished the Marauder's to go easy on Snape, but had been having a rising disliking for the Slytherin.  
After finishing, Sirius stopped Remus from heading up to the castle. "Moony, I want to talk to you about something", Sirius said soberly. Remus didn't want this conversation.

"We need to get back up to the castle", he said, happy to have found an excuse. But Sirius shook his head.

"No. Reficul said that if we weren't finished, he might come down and let us off, himself. Well, he doesn't know we're finished, so we have permission to be out at this time", Sirius said in a resolute voice.

Realising he had lost, Remus asked with a resigned sigh, "OK, what about", knowing perfectly well.  
It appeared Sirius wasn't quite sure how to phrase his question and gave up trying as he bluntly exclaimed, "After Divination you avoided me. You'd been acting weird since Monday before potions when you and James shared that weird moment. James won't tell me what happened, just says I'll probably know in time, but I want to know now, Moony. I think I ought to know what this has to do with me. And don't say it's not about me, for it obviously is".

"Sirius, I don't know what you want me to say. I don't know why I've been acting this way", Remus lied.

"Well you haven't been weird with James or Peter", his voice rising with impatience. Remus hated this. He wished with all his might that Reficul or someone would stop this conversation that was easily turning into an argument. "What have I done Remy", voice now calmer and showing sadness that made Remus's heart melt.

"You haven't done anything Sirius", Remus said, thinking, except from being incredibly amazing. Remus looked away for a moment. He looked up to the stars and spotted the beautiful bright and shining Canis Major formation and saw immediately the brightest star in the sky, the Dog Star, Sirius. When looked back, Sirius was closer than Remus wished him to be. He tried to shake himself free of his burning desire to kiss Sirius. Sirius angled Remus's body to face his own, holding Remus's shoulder to do so. Forcing Remus to look him in the eye. He saw Sirius was looking deeply hurt and was shocked to find, his eyes were shining, close to tears.

Sirius had never cried. It seemed he was making much effort into not doing so now. Remus didn't understand. His friend's sadness almost made himself cry too.

"Moony, I don't wanna lose you as a friend. If I have done something that's hurt you, tell me and I won't do it again. It's been murder having you being so distant from me. I couldn't even take that from Peter!"

Remus quickly wiped a tear from his face on his robes at these words, deeply embarrassed at being so emotional. So that's why he's nearly crying! He actually thinks I don't want to be friends! I'd rather die, was what Remus thought. "Sirius! Of course I want to be friends! I'm sorry that I've been distant, OK? But please don't ask why. You honestly didn't do anything. Can we please let this go? Please?"

Sirius nodded and pulled Remus into an impossibly close hug. Remus hugged back, but tried to keep his lower body away from Sirius as he wished not to reveal he was strongly aroused by the contact. He was glad when Sirius released him, all traces of his being close to tears gone and he grinned, "Right, back up to the castle then?" Remus was enormously thankful to the darkness of the night for covering his blushing face. They walked up to their dorm, making amiable conversation all the way. Remus felt so happy. The awkwardness he had felt in being alone with Sirius had definitely alleviated and Remus found himself wishing they did not need to return to the tower.

It was not until he went to bed that he found his bones ached dully from the labour. But that night, Remus fell into one of the most contented slumbers of his life. He had dreamt of kissing Sirius after they had hugged on the grounds and Sirius had told him he loved him. Remus lay dreaming with a smile on his lips and it stayed in place throughout the peaceful night.

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	5. Midnight Marauders

Disclaimer : I forgot about this!! None of the characters are mine as we all know, but wouldn't it be nice if they were ??? Well, since they're not, fanfics for me instead of multi-million-pound selling books :P

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Chapter 5 Midnight Marauders

It was end of their third week of being back at school now and it was going to be one busy fourth week to follow. The 30th of October, tomorrow, was the first full moon since Remus had been back and there would be no classes on Monday as a special treat for Halloween, where there would also be a disco. They had their first Hogsmeade trip next Saturday, the 5th of November. This was Friday, just now and Remus was quite looking forward to the Hogsmeade trip. At least teachers had relented on their homework and James no longer looked ready to ask Remus about his feelings at first sign of being alone.

Remus was sitting by the brilliant fire in their Common Room, feeling the heat delicately lick the whole of his right side. His face was growing increasingly warm and he knew he would have to move soon. But for now it was very comfortable and on the scanty-but-cheery table was the Daily Prophet, a wizarding tabloid. Remus flicked through the pages for stories of interest.

He was occasionally looking up at his friends and smiled as he watched James flirting desperately with Lily Evans. He has it bad for her, he thought. Then fleetingly wished that he had it bad for a 'her'. But Remus passed the thought up very quickly as he mused how he would never, could never feel this way for a girl and never had done. While at primary, Remus's friends (for no more than a couple of months before finding out what he was then having to be confunded - have the memories removed) had always seemed to like girls. Remus held no interest in them and often had to make up crushes. But back then it had been easy, because he had not fancied any boy either. And he'd only ever really liked one person all in - Sirius. Peter had gone to bed early, knackered from the days events. Although teacher's had not been giving multiple bundles of homework, they had seemed to be trying to cram a lot of work into their Friday lessons, as though attempting to fit in Monday's soon-to-be lost work too.

Sirius was sitting in the center of attention of most of the Gryffindor girls. Only two girls did not join in the marathon Sirius staring and that was Lily and Perry McKinnon's girlfriend, a fifth year, Janet Macleur. But even she was glancing at Sirius time and again. Melanie Brown had began by sitting next to Sirius but Remus had been disgusted when he had allowed her to sit in his lap. She had her arm casually around his neck and refused to take her eyes off him. Remus thought how that was a good idea on her part, because he didn't suppose she'd have liked to have seen the jealous looks she had been receiving from the surrounding girls. Sirius was grinning at her far too much for Remus's liking and he wished they would stop, but at least Sirius didn't look even half as interested in her as she clearly was in him. He paid much attention to the surrounding crowd and they were all hanging on his every word it appeared.

His attention towards the newspaper was ebbing away very quickly as he found himself keeping a possessive eye on Sirius and scowled as he watched Melanie Brown's hand playfully curl the back of Sirius's hair. She didn't remove her eyes from his and clearly spelled love with her look. Remus figured Sirius didn't see this. He knew that his friend, thankfully, was not searching for love just now. Or he thought anyway. He was sure that if Sirius could notice the look of love in her eyes, then he'd have backed off from her, especially after the scene from Alyssa Spinnet. Even if Melanie was the most appealing girl in the school.

Remus looked down at the paper and saw only the headline - More Disappearances - when he heard a great delighted cry come from the girls and he looked up to see Sirius laughing. Remus looked, wondering what it was that the girls were so happy about when Sirius looked up suddenly and caught his eye. Straight away, he lowered his head back to the paper, hoping it was covering his blush. He lost himself in the article.

'As the wizarding community are well aware, there has been many suspicious disappearances since the rise in popularity of a powerful wizard called Voldemort. There are some wizards who even refuse to say the influential man's name. The Ministry of Magic have said that they have plenty reason to believe he was responsible (even though no bodies have been, as yet, found) for the mysterious missing people and that he may have even murdered them!  
The Ministry also commented on how Voldemort is to be feared and the Minister of Magic, Millicent Bagnold...'

He looked up as a figure plopped down in front of him. Sirius was grinning at him. "We're gonna play Truth or Dare. You wanna play? Prongs and Lily are gonna...What's up", Sirius asked, eyes full of concern. Remus had recoiled at the words Truth or Dare. He quickly and too abruptly, he noticed said, "No..and nothing's wrong".

"Well, clearly there is or you wouldn't be reacting so bad to a simple game, Moony. Really, what's wrong?" Sirius pressed. Remus looked up into the clearest light blue eyes he had ever seen and knew straight away he couldn't keep this from him. He was already dying inside from keeping his secret desires and love for Siri from him. He rushed his words and hoped Sirius would have understood them because he didn't wish to repeat it.

"She'd been playing dares. That's what got her killed!" And Remus went on as Sirius looked at him with mournful shock. "Don't you remember Phoebe Fucirel?" And Sirius looked enlightened. "Of course I do! I'd only dumped her a week before...But that's nothing to do with you! It wasn't your fault.."

"Why do you think I hate the Whomping Willow so much, Sirius?" Sirius sighed and said, "Oh. Because that's where it happened". Remus had been extra thankful to his friends when they had become animagi. He'd hated the Whomping Willow since his second year here because the girl had died there. She'd been dared to touch the trunk of the tree. The girl had stood no chance. The tree's strong thrashing branches had hit her hard on the head and she had not been able to be saved. The pain of the memory had considerably subsided over time, but he still felt quite responsible.

"But Remy! You don't think it was your fault do you?" Sirius asked looking horrified.

"Of course it was! That tree's there because of me!" But Remus felt as though some weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He had grown to accept thinking that Sirius had thought it was his fault and he was now finding out after these years that he hadn't blamed him at all.

"Yes that tree's there for you. But you didn't force Phoebe to do that dare! She could have stopped at any time, Moony! Now, come on! You're gonna play. Get over this stupid feeling. None of it was your fault" and Remus had no choice but to be led off to the group of all but a few Gryffindors that had now all gathered in the spot where only the girls and Sirius had been before.

Sirius led him over to where Jamie stood beside Lily. Everybody looked at Sirius expectantly and he conjured up a bottle and told them all to sit around in a large circle. Everyone did so and Sirius got out his wand and made the bottle spin. It pointed to a third year girl who was looking hopefully at Sirius as she said, 'Dare", obviously hoping she'd be dared to kiss Sirius.

Sirius said, "Right, from now it goes clockwise around the circle to make sure everyone gets their turn, OK? Right, huddle now". All but the girl was standing in the huddle. James was on one side of Remus with his hand round his shoulder, and Sirius on the other side, arm slightly lower. Remy felt a short rush of excitement at this. Sirius asked the crowd what they thought the girl, Amy as it turned out, should do for her dare. Many kissing suggestions went up around them and they finally agreed that the girl should have just a twenty second kiss with a third year boy. The boy blushed and Remus could tell he fancied the girl and was quite pleased, even if embarrassed.

The girl went bright red when she found out her dare and the pair reluctantly kissed one another and no way did it last twenty seconds. The dares had began half way round the crowd from Remus and he could tell it was getting quite late as it approached them. It would be James first, then himself, then Sirius. Most of the dares were kisses, but some naughtier ones suggested by Sirius were brought up. There had even been this girl having to kiss another girl. It seemed a lot of the girls were also eyeing Sirius hopefully, but nobody seemed to suggest it, to Remus's happiness, as he supposed that the people in the crowd did not wish it to happen to the person outside the ring, only to themselves. Suited Remus fine. Few people were picking 'truth' as their option and the girls' reasons were obvious. It had mostly been boys picking 'truth' until it came to Lily, who had sat next to James. James had looked crestfallen at the missed opportunity to kiss her, but brightened when Sirius reminded him his turn was next. Remus, himself wished not to have his turn.

When they huddled to decide what to ask her, Sirius had suggested, with a meaningful look at Jamie, to ask who she fancies most in the room. James had beamed at him. Sirius always does the right thing, Remus thought. "Sirius, can I swap places with you, I don't feel like going next", he asked. Sirius nodded and they formed the circle around Lily. "Lily Evans, who do you fancy most in this room?" Sirius asked. Lily flushed and she flashed Sirius a look of, 'I'll kill you for this'. But Sirius just laughed. James was looking so apprehensively at her that Remus felt bad for him. "James Potter", she finally said and James grinned triumphantly. "Go out with me then", but she told him not to spoil it and he accepted, spirits still high from her admission. Remy was very pleased for Jamie and he could tell Sirius was too. Jamie whispered a thanks to Siri before staying out of the crowd this time.

"After that admission, Lily, I think it's just fair for James's dare to be to kiss you" Sirius said, and as the group nodded, the red-head turned brightly pink and glared at Sirius. James was delighted when he was told to kiss her for half a minute. But it seemed to just come to him that it was in front of the whole crowd and Sirius laughed and called, "Not having stage fright are you, mate?"

James smiled and shook his head, but he clearly was. Remus felt bad for him and felt with a stab of panic, Oh God! What if I've to do that in front of them all? And he promptly decided he'd be picking 'truth' on his turn. They all watched as the red-faced pair kissed for the set time. James smiled brightly at her when they parted and Lily looked away, failing miserably to hide her brick-red cheeks. Remus thought how Lily had positively warmed to James since last year and was happy for his friend. He saw Sirius give him the thumbs up, grinning wildly at Jamie. Sirius stepped merrily from the crowd and Remus remembered it was his turn. He called, "Dare", with a mischievous grin that, again, warmed Remus's heart.

He joined the huddle and he noticed that Melanie Brown was licking her lips. Jamie looked up at her and he said, "Well, Sirius just has to kiss Melanie!" Melanie gave a wide smile of thanks. The rest of the girls all glared at James and Remus thought for one shining moment that the idea would be argued. A few girls suggested themselves as candidates instead, but the other boys agreed with Jamie and Melanie urged her friends to make their vote for her as it was left down to them. Her friends grudgingly showed their loyalty and the vote went in her favour. Remus had been forced to put his hand up from the questioning look Jamie gave him and he had to say, "Oh. Didn't hear properly. Sorry". But James obviously didn't believe him, but knew better by now than to ask questions. Melanie had always been popular, but many girls - and a few boys - muttered swear words out of jealousy under their breath about Melanie as they parted from the huddle. She didn't look as though she cared and Remus knew if it were him, neither would he or anyone else in her position.

"Well, Sirius", Remus knew he didn't call him Padfoot because the crowd would have raised a few eyebrows, "you have been nominated to kiss dear Melanie here. For a minute".

Sirius looked indifferent to the news. He looked at Melanie with a smoldering confidence and strode sexily up to her. A few breaths were held and Remus saw the lust pouring from Melanie's clouded-over eyes and her lips were already parted in desire.

Sirius kissed her and looked, again, like an expert. A few girls turned their heads, not wishing to see how lucky their fellow Gryffindor was. Melanie's face flushed with pleasure at the kiss and she shook slightly from arousal as the boys sent up a cheering approval at Sirius's wandering hands. Her own hands clung passionately to Sirius and roamed his back and his ass before finding his hair and clutching it in tightened fists. Remus didn't think he'd ever been more grateful than he was when James called, "Minute's up", from beside him. He felt a rush of anger at Melanie and hated knowing that he'd never be able to do that. Sirius kissed her a moment longer and let her go, against her wishes. Her hands placed themselves on Sirius's chest and as Remus looked back, her question then, struck a low blow to him.

"Will you go out with me, Sirius?" She said, panting lightly, voice thick with longing and Remus saw how her eyes were misted even more. Remus looked fearfully to Sirius and saw a small smile on his full light red lips.

"Sure", came Sirius's reply and Remus's world fell away from him. He didn't even hear the cry of joy Melanie gave or the hisses from the girls around as they stared hatefully at her. He did, however, manage to say to James, through a trembling voice, "I..I think I need to go to bed". As he got up, though, he felt a strong pair of hands on his shoulders.

"And where do you think you're going? I hope you don't think you're going to sneak off while it's your turn, do you?" Sirius was stopping him. He just couldn't say no. Remus felt too dazed to argue. He stood miserably on his own after telling the group, "Truth" and they huddled.

When they came back, forming a circle around him, Remus was brought out of his daze only by the apologetic look on Jamie's face. Oh no! What is it, he thought.  
"So, Remy, we all want to know who you fancy most in this room", came Sirius's voice.

Remus panicked and felt his face burning. He couldn't take it, so used the only option he saw left to him. He ran. He called behind him that he felt sick and covered his mouth in the act. He heard Sirius and James calling after him, but he ran straight up to his dorm.

He closed the door behind him and collapsed against it, thinking over what he'd done with a terrified expression on his face. Why didn't I just make somebody up, a voice in his head yelled. Why didn't he? Why had he been so stupid not to give a fake crush, as he had many times at primary? He'd never been embarrassed whenever a girl had occasionally found out because he hadn't actually had a crush on them.

Remus scolded himself once more for not lying to conceal his answer - Sirius. He tried to think straight and when he was able to, he thought to go to bed in case somebody came up after him. He got into his pyjamas as quickly as he could and jumped into bed, wondering whether he should mimic Peter's snoring or not. But I might not usually snore, he thought as he had obviously never heard himself sleeping. So he didn't.

Sure enough, he heard he Dorm door opening just seconds after he had got properly settled into the bed and pulled round his hangings. Siri's voice carried out into the room and made the only other noise but for Peter's snoring.

"Moony! Are you OK?" But Remus did not answer. His breathing sounded too heavy, he thought and tried to calm it, and with it his thundering heart. Sirius left after not getting his answer and Remus felt a stab of guilt for ignoring him yet again. Remus half expected James to come up after Sirius and was happy to find he didn't.

He was able to go over things in his mind and came up with an easy excuse for his behaviour. Of course, Sirius may not fully believe him, but he'd accept it. James might wish to have a word though. Of course he'd know why Remus had ran, but he'd just tell him he still didn't feel ready to talk about it yet. James would have to take it, like it or not. It was not his place to probe further into Remus's feelings.

He lay listening for his friends to return to the Dorm and thought it must have been past two before they finally arrived. He heard Sirius and James saying 'goodnight' to one-another and he listened until their breathing slowed to reveal they were asleep.  
Finally, he was able to drift off himself, deciding to be contented with sticking to his story of having felt sick. It was the best excuse he could think of and couldn't change it after telling it already. He would add how he'd not been feeling right all night and had just had to get away. Even of how he'd just been exhausted and had to fall asleep.

His dreams that night were of more peaceful content than his waking mind. His conscious mind was filled with jealousy, rage and fear. Jealousy and anger at Melanie and fear that if he continued to do things like this, Siri would find out his friend's more than platonic feelings towards him. Sirius made his normal, but always more-than-welcome appearance in the dream and Remus was loved once again. Just for the night.

When Remus woke in the morning, he was glad it was a Saturday. He sat up in his bed and the previous night's events began to flood back to him. Dammit, Sirius is going out with her, he thought bitterly. He reluctantly pulled the hangings around from his bed and the light that shone in his eyes made him wince. Remus was normally the Marauder who woke up easily in the morning. He'd always been a morning person. But as he looked around his Dorm, he found not one other occupied bed. Not even Peter remained snoring and Remus felt slightly ashamed he'd let himself sleep so late. Even if it was the weekend. Then Remus thought that it was maybe just as well, the less he saw of the new couple, the better.

He took a shower and dressed, paying no attention to what it was he was actually putting on. He found he'd been trying for minutes to put a hat on his foot and he laughed at himself in spite of his feelings. He tried getting dressed more carefully and found it much easier once he was looking at what he was doing. He didn't feel hungry, so decided to skip breakfast. It would surely give him more time to go over, again, what he would tell the others.

He walked down to the Common Room and sat by the fire. One look around told him that most people had gone down to breakfast as only two other people were present. They were first years and Remus was happy that nobody he knew was there. He sat staring blankly into the fire and heard the portrait door swing open. As he looked up, he saw the perfect figure of Sirius walking over to him, having spotted Remus straight away.

Remus frowned and looked back to the fire. Sirius sat on the ground before him and gazed up into his face. Remus felt his face flushing slightly and wished Sirius would not look so intently upon it. He looked to him, knowing he'd have to get it over and done with.

"How're you feeling, Moony?" Sirius asked, resting his head on his long elegant hands. As Sirius sat cross-legged in front of him with those puppy-dog eyes, he wondered how he managed to keep such a large secret from him. It could just slip from his mouth at any moment..No! You're not supposed to love your best friend! He'd never speak to you again! Remus felt that Sirius would be very supportive had he just have been gay, but also thought he'd run a mile if he knew it was himself that Remus not only fancied, but loved. He didn't think he'd get much support in that case. Just rejection and a lost friendship. One that he'd kill himself rather than lose.

"Oh. Much better, thank you", was what he said instead. He kept his face as natural as he could, trying his best not to show traces of untruthfulness. Sirius would know if he showed it.

"What was wrong with you?" Sirius asked this with his head cocked adorably to one side and Remus's heart melted. He felt his own head slightly falling to one side to match his friend's and he answered, "Oh. Just wasn't feeling too good. Hadn't been all night. Anyway, should you not be down at breakfast with the others?"

Sirius waved this away impatiently with his hand and muttered that he'd eaten early. Then getting back to the subject, "Well, why didn't you say you weren't feeling well when I asked you to play? You sure you just didn't want to answer the question"  
"Yes", Remus said before he could stop himself. He covered his mouth with his hand. Sirius stared at him with such intensity that Remus felt sure he was seeing straight into his soul. If Sirius's next question had have been, 'do you love me', Remus felt sure he'd have said yes. Thankfully that didn't come next. But what did was too close to it for Remus to feel safe.

"Why, Moony? Is there somebody you really like that was playing?" Then when Remus sighed deeply, Sirius took it as a yes and asked, "Moony, you're not in love are you?"

The question caught Remus by surprise and he had to nod. The edge in Sirius's voice brought a voice to his own head, telling him he'd said enough. Telling him he was close to ruining everything.

"Who", Sirius asked with a slow smile gracing his features. The wonderful smile was gone when Remus finally took control over the situation. It was really hard for him to do with Sirius looking at him with such severity yet warmth in his smile.

"Padfoot, I'm sorry, but I really don't want to tell anybody. Not just yet anyway", he said and felt a sharp pain in his chest at the stung look on Sirius's face.

"Oh. Well you don't need to tell me. If you feel like it...you can though..Wait", with a sudden exclamation that caused Remus to flinch involuntarily, "Is this what Jamie knows that I don't?"

Remus watched with a broken heart as a hurt look now caressed Sirius's face. He spoke, "I'm sorry Sirius. Prongs just found out. In fact, I'm not sure how much he knows! I won't talk to him about it either. He sort of figured it out himself, I didn't tell him. I just don't feel ready to speak about it yet".

Sirius sighed and looked to the ground. "How come you don't want to tell us. To tell me?" Remus couldn't bear the emphasis Siri put on 'me'. He had always been able to talk to Sirius about what was on his mind and he knew he was hurting Sirius with keeping this from him. But he also knew things would be a lot worse if he did say it to him. Sirius looked back up to Remus and he was horrified to find his eyes shining with tears that would not be allowed to spill. Remus felt a tear fall down his own cheek and tried to cover it hastily, but knew it had been seen.

"Because I'm scared how you will react", he said truthfully. Sirius looked at him, a fleeting look of anger flashed in his eyes and Remus flinched again. This is so horrible, he thought. But Sirius's face then softened and he sighed again.

"Well, Remy. I can't force you to tell me. I can't force Jamie to tell me either. But I just want you to know", he looked back up at Remus with a smile that didn't reach his eyes, "I'm here for you. No matter how you think I'd react, I'm sure I'll be fine with whatever you're scared to tell me. I don't see why I'd react badly, but I guess I'll just have to wait". He then smiled and surprised Remus when he put a gentle hand to his cheek to softly wipe away his tear. Remus wanted to lean in against the touch, but didn't. Sirius took it away and changed his demeanor cheerfully. Remus was always surprised at his friend's ability to change and recover so quickly, but knew he should be used to it by now.

"Want a game of chess?" He asked and Remus nodded thankfully. They had not long started when the portrait door began opening frequently to those returning from breakfast. James and Peter came in together and as Sirius had done, walked over straight away.

James gave a curious glance to Remus, but settled into a conversation about quidditch with Peter. Remus found himself being beaten, inevitably, by Sirius, but this time, with his concentration on other things, it happened unusually quickly. Sirius looked slightly annoyed by his easy win and complained it wasn't a good enough challenge. Remus shrugged apologetically and Sirius laughed at him.

They all sat and played Exploding Snap. Remus was very happy until he saw a brazen girl sneak up behind Sirius. Melanie put her hands round Sirius's eyes and childishly asked, "Guess who?"

Sirius smiled beneath her fingers and said, "Professor McGonagall?" Melanie laughed and sat down beside Sirius, but he just got up and held out his hand to help her up too.

Remus wanted to stop them leaving, but knew he couldn't. Sirius said to them that he'd see them at lunch and left through the portrait hole with a last wicked grin at the Marauders. Remus saw James give him the thumbs up, then when the door closed looked slightly apologetically to Remy. Remus just lowered his head in response and was thankful that Peter sat between them, rendering James unable to question.

But not too long after, Peter was standing up saying decidedly that he was actually going to do his homework and break a steady cycle of last-minute panicking. Remus offered his help, but Peter said that he had all he needed rather bluntly. Peter shrugged and said, "Well, I wanna actually do something on my own for once". So Remus sat and waited for it. He had not a long wait.

"Well, Moony. I think we both know you were perfectly fine last night", James said looking straight at Remus through hazel brown eyes.

"Jamie, don't" Remus rushed but James held up a hand to stop his words. "Look, I know why you left. I just wanna know how serious it is. Please tell me", he pleaded. Remus nodded as he looked to his bespectacled friend.

After looking at Remus in expectance, James must have realized he was not going to say it on his own and asked slowly, "Are you gay?" Remus looked down and nodded to the carpet. He then decided he wanted to see James's reaction and looked up. "I suppose I am anyway. Is that a problem to you Prongs", he asked shakily.

"..No. And what do you mean by suppose?" was his reply. Remus felt that Jamie knew the answer already, but played along anyway. He hadn't planned on having this conversation, but on avoiding it. That hadn't been easy and he now had to face up to it.  
"I mean that I've only ever liked one guy. Well, one person all in, in fact", Remus said as he stared at Jamie's fixed face.

"Moony, do you love Padfoot", came James's breaking voice. "I love all you guys..you know that - "

"Moony! You know perfectly well what I mean. Stop playing for time. Do you love Padfoot?" James said, anger in his voice, but his expression softening as he awaited his answer. Remus didn't deny it.

"Yes, Prongs. I love Padfoot. Happy?" Remus watched James as he was clearly working out what to say next.

"How long", he said. Remus bit his lip and considered not telling the truth to this. He'd loved Sirius since the moment he first saw the boy. First seen his beautiful raven black, shining glossy hair. First saw his stunningly featured face. First heard his rich voice and first listened to his fitting name. How appropriate he was called after the brightest star in the sky. His glowing personality radiated happiness, warmth and promises of safety forever. Remus knew then that he was inappropriately fond of the boy. Making friends with him had gave him far too much pleasure to be normal. Seeing him dress for bed for the first time had been an indecent experience on Remus's behalf too, but he could not help but stare at something so incredible. He'd been obsessed then and Remus didn't know how much he dared reveal to James.

"As soon as I saw him", he said with plenty reluctance. James looked minutely shocked, but sighed again. Remus was beginning to feel more anxious with each sigh James released.

"I can't believe I didn't see it. Can't believe Sirius still doesn't. God, Moony. The way you acted last night..well..says it all really. Yet, nobody else noticed. Not even the observant Sirius Black!" he said though a short laugh. It died very quickly and James looked back at Remus with a pained expression.

"You know. You could have told me before. What did you think I'd do? Run to Siri and tell him?"

"Well, you guys tell each other everything", Remus said, slightly sharper than intended. Even now, jealousy managed to seep through his mind at Sirius telling James every secret he owned and vice-versa. James didn't seem to notice the tone, but the words cut deep enough.

"Moony! You think I'd betray your confidence?", he asked incredulously. Remus felt a small twinge of shame. Of course he wouldn't tell. And what right did he have to be jealous anyway? He had no claim over Sirius!

"No. Sorry. I know you wouldn't. I guess the longer it remained unsaid, the less real it was. The less painful.."

"Moony...He has a girlfriend. Sirius..well, he's straight, isn't he?" James said sorrowfully.

"I know that, James. Why do you think it hurts so much? To be in love with him knowing he's probably the straightest guy I know.."

"Hey! So what am I?" James said through a small grin. That was better. The joke in James's voice was easier to deal with.

"A close second? You know what I mean Prongs! He has had more girlfriends than the entire school of boys put together!"

"Well! That's only because I am very attached to a certain person and am not so open-minded!" Remus laughed at his friend's arrogance.

"Yeah. She's warmed to you, Jamie", he said smiling. James smiled back and Remus knew that he could tell James anything and he'd be fine with it.

"Like I've always said, isn't it? Only a matter of time" and Remus and James burst out laughing. James then said, looking at his watch, "Time to go for lunch! I'll go get Peter". Remus watched him go after Peter and couldn't help but look forward to seeing Sirius at lunch again. They walked down happily to the Great Hall.  
.--.

James watched Remus's eyes dart up to the entrance of the Great Hall every time the doors opened. He felt nothing but pity for the werewolf now. He was in love with somebody who would never return the affection. When Sirius finally did walk through the doors, it was with Melanie clinging possessively to him. He looked slightly disheveled and James felt a fresh stab of pity for Remus. She looked blissful and her hair, which was usually perfect was untidy.

Melanie's friends called her over straight away for the gossip and she reluctantly parted from Sirius with a small kiss. Sirius strode up to the end of the table and took his usual place next to James, across from Remus. Remy was staring at his plate and only stole the tiniest of glances at Sirius.

It wasn't hard to tell what Sirius and Melanie had been up to and James knew he would normally be asking, what he only imagined, was very similar questions to the one's Melanie was now answering. He thought, this time, he'd spare Remus from hearing it, so didn't asked. Sirius did not seem bothered either way. But Peter didn't know he wasn't to ask, and carelessly, he did it.

"Did you do it, Padfoot??", he asked, filled with awe and reverence. James saw Remus fiddle with his fork on the plate and also the tiny look of annoyance on Sirius's face at Peter's awe-filled tone. Sirius didn't take Peter's hero-worshipping as well as James took it. But he answered anyway.

"Yup", came his short and casual answer. This wasn't Sirius's first and they all knew it. But Peter gave a squeal of pleasure and asked, "Ooh, ooh, how was it"  
"It was rubbish", Remus looked up, "Amazing, Peter, what do you think?" Peter turned slightly pink but his enthusiasm did not die. He started singing quietly to himself, 'Sirius and Melanie, sitting in a tree..'.

Remus said to Peter, now irritated, "Stop it Peter. God, you're like a five year old. Grow up!" And Peter whimpered as James and Sirius both looked at Remus. Remus just seemed to notice what he'd done and said, still slightly irritably, "Sorry, Peter. Headache" and Peter nodded.

"Anyway..what do you wanna do tonight?" Sirius asked and Remus looked happy for the change of subject. Peter looked sad that he wasn't getting any details, but should have known better that Sirius wouldn't boast about this. He had more class than that.

"Run with Kentauros?" James asked. Kentauros was a young centaur they sometimes met up with in the forest during the full moon. His fellow centaurs were slightly disgruntled with him doing this, but they allowed it because it was only in animagus, and wolf-form that the Marauders seen him.

"Yeah, not seen him in a while", said Siri. Peter nodded his head vigorously in approval, always agreeing with whatever Sirius and James wanted. Remus quietly agreed to this and mumbled something about him not really having a choice as the wolf decided for him anyway.

Peter changed the subject again. James knew that Peter was happy to do whatever the rest of them wanted, but also knew that he was scared of the Forbidden Forest, where Kentauros lived.

"So, who here has a date for the Halloween disco?" Sirius said that obviously he'd be going with Melanie. Peter said Bertha Jorkins had asked him to go and he'd said yes. Sirius looked to James, "You asking Lily, or going stag?" Peter guffawed stupidly and Remus smiled.

"She said she might dance with me, but wouldn't be my date, so, stag it is", James grinned. They all looked at Remus. He turned slightly red and said, "Well, erm, Maria Chang's friend, Siobhan Davies asked me to go.."

"And?" Sirius asked brightly, looking happy to see Remus had been asked. Remus shrugged and said, "I said I'd let her know today. Wanted to run it by you guys, see what you thought first.."

"Go! She's pretty!", Sirius said merrily, "Is she not the one you hoped for?", he added at Remus's less than enthusiastic expression.

"No. But I'll go anyway", he said and caught James's eye with a look of, 'not a word'. James grinned, "You'd better go tell her then".

Remus went over to her table and James saw Siobhan grinning at Remus as he came back.

"Said she can't wait", he said sadly. Sirius looked at him piteously too and said, "You should just have asked the girl you liked out instead..I'm sure she'd have said yes". But Remus shook his head, "I doubt that somehow" and nobody said another word of the disco. It was only brought up again when now and then, a girl would walk up to Sirius and ask him to go with them. Sirius told them he'd be going with Melanie, as she was his girlfriend and they said they didn't mind and begged for at least a dance. He said he couldn't promise he would, but they left with hope anyway. James laughed at how they didn't care that Melanie was going out with him.

The boys spent the rest of the day in uneventful happiness. They went to their Dorm knowing that Perry McKinnon would be the only one who would sleep there for the night. However, all the boys pretended to be asleep and James listened as, shortly after Perry began snoring, their Dorm door opened quietly.

He watched out of the space in his curtains as Madame Pomfrey led Remus out and when the door closed, he heard Sirius stepping out of bed from beside him. He followed suit and Sirius whispered, "That twat's fell asleep".

James stifled laughter as he heard the beginnings of Peter's snoring. They went to wake him quietly and tried not to rouse Perry from his slumber. The two were bent doubled in silent laughter as they attempted this feat. James could tell that Sirius was slightly annoyed though. When they finally managed to wake him, they all left the Dorm under James's invisibility cloak. Once they reached the Common Room, Sirius quietly scolded Peter for being so dense. Peter stuttered his apologies and Sirius impatiently said, "It's fine Peter. Let's just go", and they maneuvered out of the Common Room, holding their map.

They walked down the corridors, uninterrupted and Peter looked immensely happy about this. But Sirius suddenly stopped and Peter bumped into James, nearly knocking him over. He managed to balance himself and mutter, " What is it Sirius?"

Sirius was looking at the map he held with a wicked grin. "It seems that two of our dear teacher's have decided to have a nice midnight stroll. Just like us...", he said mysteriously.

"Who?", James said, burning with curiosity. Peter shook beside him as Sirius answered.

"Mr and Miss Reficul..", Sirius said, spitting the surname. James frowned in puzzlement.

"What do you think they're up for at this time of night?" James asked and Peter mumbled something about hoping they wouldn't find out. He whimpered when Sirius spoke.

"Why don't we go see?", he said mischievously. They walked down the end of the corridor and turned it to see, sure enough, Professor Reficul speaking in hushed tones to his sister. The three Marauders stood backed up against the far wall. James felt the adrenaline rushing through his body as he wondered what their Professors would do if they found them. Peter was shaking wildly and James put a hand on his shoulder to try steady him. They stood silently listening to the barely audible conversation.

"Algen, you've got to be more discreet", came the scolding tone of the woman, "You're being far too obvious. Are you trying to spoil everything?"

"Of course not", hissed their Potion's teacher, "I want this as much as you do, Selina. Right. I'll try calm myself, but surely you realize it's tough! We'd better get back now. It's not safe talking here. You never know who could be lurking about. I was nearly caught by the caretaker already.."

"Oh, Algen! Professors are allowed out you know", his sister said impatiently. Reficul, the brother, sneered, "Yes, but is it not you who wishes not to be drawing any unwanted attention? Anyway, I'm sure you agree sneaky students are not quite welcome to our conversation.."

Peter jumped at the words and they all took a sharp intake of breath as they looked to see if they'd been caught. Thankfully, the teacher's hadn't spotted them and the adults parted with rushed goodbye's.

Once they were out of earshot, James stood angrily on Peter's foot as Sirius released a relieved sigh. Peter yelped and said, "What was that for".

"For nearly getting us caught, doughball", James whispered, partly to remind Peter he was supposed to be being quiet.

"We'll talk about this with Remy tomorrow. For now, let's just get to the Shack and see him", said Sirius to prevent an argument. James noticed an unmistakable tone in Siri's voice that informed him Sirius had been quite excited by nearly getting caught and he felt it then too and smiled. He could almost feel Sirius's smile in the darkness, as James had extinguished his wand-tip light upon approaching the professors.

He returned the light and they carried on and left the building. As they walked over the vast lawn, James looked up at the moon, sitting bright, naked in the sky, free of clouds and completely round. He cursed it in his mind and they stopped in front of the Whomping Willow. Peter transformed himself into a rat and ran under the thrashing branches of the Willow. James pulled the invisibility cloak from them and stuffed it into his robes, along with his wand. Sirius did the same with the map and they transformed as the tree's branches ceased moving.

James, the stag form, watched Padfoot, the beautiful grim-like dog, run to the entrance of the tree and disappear beyond it. He emulated this, with one last look at the moon, and squashed himself through the hole, lowering his antlers.

Prongs changed back into James, just to slide down the earthy slope that greeted him upon entering. It was easy for Padfoot and Wormtail to go down it in animagus form, but the Stag would surely break it's legs if he tried it. At the bottom, he changed back and allowed the rat to rest on his antlers. He and Padfoot dashed silently down the narrow tunnel that lead to the Shack. As they ran, Wormtail clung to his head. They slowed as the tunnel began to rise and it twisted around. Prongs followed Padfoot round it and entered the small hole that emitted a dim light.

The room they entered had peeling wallpaper, stains everywhere and broken furniture scattered the room. His attention turned to the low growl he heard. Moony, now a large wolf was growling at them and crouching, ready to pounce. He watched as Padfoot lowered himself before the beast in submission. The wolf, in control, began wagging it's tail and licking Padfoot's face furiously. Prongs was always glad that the wolf recognised them as part of it's own gang. But as the Alpha-male of the gang, Moony always greeted them with growls to show his leadership. Padfoot was always the one to show defeat. Then they would all run happily together.

After Moony and Padfoot fought playfully, they lead the way out of the Shack, Moony consenting to roam the Forest.

When they found Kentauros, Moony displayed his dominance once again to the joining member. Kentauros, a creature with a man's torso and tan coloured body of a horse, with golden hair and fierce green eyes, lowered himself also in submission.  
They all ran freely deep into the pitch-black forest. They bumped into many other creatures, but with their powerful presence, nothing came to harm them. The night was long and filled with distinction and resplendence.

As morning approached, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs led Moony back to the Shack, leaving Kentauros for the night. They departed from the wolf and before sunrise, entered their tower and went to bed. Peter slept straight away and James and Sirius were pulled quickly into slumber.

,--,--,--,--,--,--,


	6. Hallowe'en and Hogsmeade

DISCLAIMER: Well I don't own any of JKR's characters or ideas, i'm just borrowing them cry cry..lol.

Sorry I have not updated sooner, I have been very busy with school work, I'll try not to let that happen again.

Audrey G. Black ( ) : Isadora!!! I made sure I updated all for you lol, well thank you for your reviews, hope you enjoy the next chapters.

Elfeh: ( )Thank you for your reviews, it was nice of you :D Well, I'm really sorry about my terrible spelling lol. I don't have Word I'm afraid, it's another programme I have and there is a spell check, but I don't know if I can trust it at times, because it's an American programme i think and i prefer the english spelling, so sometimes when it makes suggestions I ignore them :S sorry lol. Guess I was wrong :P The nicknames... I'm sorry I can't stop this one! I don't like having to type Sirius and Remus every time, I like a change :( sorry it annoys u. Hope it doesn't stop u reading the rest of my story ()

Tanya J Potter: ( )Heya chick, thank you for reviewing. You're so sweet :D I hope you like these chapters of my story :)

Moony-38: ( )Well, thank you for reading my story, i hope it was woth waiting for these chapters :)

Goldfish682: ( )Hey, thank's for the review, it was nice to read :D. I'm really sorry I'll get reading ur story soon, I'm realy sorry I've had no time so far, (I've been bad in the past and not done my work so now I have to catch up at school :( )

Well, thank you all of my reviewers, you make me very happy :D Here is me next two chapters

Chapter 6: Hallowe'en and Hogsmeade

Sirius, for once woke up early. He was glad he did, because he planned on going to see Remus was feeling okay. He did not always do this after Moony's transformations, but Sirius liked it if he did because Remus always looked so happy when he came for him. Happy to see his mates there for him, Sirius supposed. He got up and went for a quick shower. No matter how tired Sirius was or how late he was (even if it meant he'd be late for class), he always had to have a shower. He couldn't stick the thought of being unclean or, God forbid, the thought of his hair getting to be as greasy as Snape's. He'd even got his friends to follow his morning ritual. James and Remus were fine with it, but sometimes Peter would quietly complain that he was clean already and it was unnecessary.

On looking at his watch, he realized he'd have enough time before the Hospital Wing was open to visitors to go get Remy something to eat. He walked down a broad stone corridor with many pictures of food and it was all very brightly lit with it's many torches. He approached a picture with a large silver fruit bowl in it and tickled the pear on it. The picture of the pear squirmed and chuckled before turning into a door knob.

He entered the large kitchen and was greeted by many house elfs. A few he recognised; he was a regular to the kitchen, even if the students strictly weren't supposed to be there.

"And what can we get for Sirius Black, Sir?" squeaked the elf closest to him. Sirius liked these house elfs. They were many times better than the one who stayed in his family home. He didn't care if he never saw Kreacher, as it was called, ever again. What a foul little beast Kreacher was. Very loyal to his mother, though, so for it to be nasty came as no shock.

"Well, I was hoping for some early breakfast for Moony", he said politely to the elf. At once, most of the surrounding elfs scampered off and the elf he was speaking to bowed low and said, "Anything master wishes", before scurrying off herself.

Only moments later, they had brought back a tray piled with toast, bacon, eggs, beans and there was tea, coffee and orange juice for choice. There were two yoghurts and a couple chocolate desserts for afters too. Sirius thanked them warmly and breathed in the wonderful smell of the delicious food. Mmm, Moony'll like this, he thought as he levitated the tray out of the room and headed for the Hospital Wing.

He was going to be a little too early, so he decided to take time to admire the Halloween decorations that had been put up, which must have been done once people had gone to bed. Flaming orange streamers drifted overhead near the ceilings and the odd bat could be spotted amongst them. Candle-filled pumpkins sat in every corner and they cast eerie shadows in the darkest of the corridors. Sometimes, upon rounding a corner, he would be faced with a corridor covered top-to-bottom in cobwebs. At first he hesitated to walk through them, not wishing the wonderful food to be coated in a film of web. Not quite so appetising if it is, he thought. But when he did the first time, he'd found the webs were just illusions and walked through nothingness. Cool new decorations, he thought passively.

Upon entering the Wing, he was met by a cross looking Madam Pomfrey. She scowled at him and said, "Sirius Black, if young Mr Lupin is still asleep then I cannot let you disturb him, even if it is with food...How did you - "

She was cut off from the voice that carried across the room from one of the beds at the end. "It's okay, Madam Pomfrey, I'm awake", said the pale figure of Remus, who was sitting up and looking gleefully at Sirius and the tray he held.

Sirius looked expectantly to the nurse and she made an odd clucking noise before saying, "Very well, Sirius. You may go. But don't be having poor Remus using too much energy. He had a long night last night...Go on then". She motioned him passed, looking as though it was against her better judgment. He heard her muttering something about 'too early visiting times' and he grinned as he reached a smiling Remus.

"Mmm, Sirius. Thanks", Remy said as Sirius sat the tray down beside him. Sirius looked around for a seat, and finding the nearest ones were across the room, he turned back to Remus and said, "Budge over, will you".

He noticed Remus slightly flushed and he added, "It's all right, Moony! I'm not gonna come onto you or anything", with a bark of laughter. Remus looked momentarily affronted, but recovered very quickly and grinned, "Shocking news, Padfoot".

Remus shifted over and Sirius dropped unceremoniously onto the space, being slightly careful not to bump the tray. Nevertheless, the drinks spilled over the edges a little.

"Oops", Sirius said through a grin. He noted briefly that Remus was looking slightly agitated and giving tiny wary glances at the spot where Sirius lay. He looked as though he was leaning all on the opposite side of the bed, trying not to touch Sirius. Must be a little bit homophobic , Sirius thought with an inward smile, or maybe just not too comfortable with being so close to someone. But Remus relaxed after a minute and rested himself back against his pillows.

"So, Moony, you feeling all right?" he asked. Remus looked up at him and nodded with a small smile.

"Much better now that I'm with you guys again. Don't remember too much about it though, did we meet Kentauros?"

"Yep. Can't wait 'til the next full moon.." Sirius said, stopping only when he thought of the painful transformation Remus had to go through and feeling slightly selfish. "Not the you going through pain part obviously.."

"I know, Sirius. I enjoy what I remember of it myself", Remy said quickly to make Sirius feel better. "You know, Padfoot, you don't have to bring me breakfast after transformations.."

"Ah, but I want to. And I like to make sure you're okay anyway", he said and was greeted by a wide smile from Remus.

"Thanks", came Moony's quiet reply. Sirius then remembered seeing both Reficuls in the corridor the previous night and began to tell Moony what had been said.

"Weird...Wonder what they meant", Remus said with a shrug. "So, you looking forward to the disco tonight?"

Sirius had tactfully avoided speaking about it to Moony in case it upset the boy for not being able to go with the girl he apparently loved. Sirius had been a little hurt that Remus hadn't told him about her. He must have liked her for ages to be in love with her too, he had thought sadly. But here was Remus, bringing the subject up casually, giving him permission to talk about it.

"Yeah..suppose. Should be fun. You looking forward to it?" Remus looked down to his bed sheets and twisted them in curled fists. "Take that as a no..", Sirius said nodding to Remus's hands.

"It's just..the - er - girl I like is going with someone else", Remus said hesitantly, as though calculating how much he could say.

"Oh. Are you okay Moony? And don't say you are if you're not 'cos - " Sirius began.

"I'm fine, Siri. Don't look at me like that, I'll be okay, honest!" Remus said quickly to Sirius's disbelieving look.

Sirius searched his friend's face and sighed. "I can't see why the girl wouldn't go out with you, Remy. I'm sure she would if you asked. Or have you asked already?"

"No!" came Remus's abrupt reply. Sirius frowned. Remus looked as though he hadn't meant for that to come out so harsh and was biting his lip.

"Well how can you be so sure? How do you know she wouldn't go out with you", Sirius asked, blurting out all that passed through his mind.

"I just know. Padfoot, there's not a hope in hell...she..she'd never go out with me. Never", Remus said, a definite note in his voice.

"It's not Lily is it?" Sirius asked, a quick worry passing through his mind. It wouldn't do to have two of his best friends love the same girl. That would only mean trouble

"No! I wouldn't! Plus, James would kill me! If you remember..he knows", Remus said the last words tentatively, with a slight apologetic look. Sirius tried not to show the affliction that passed over him at being reminded that two of his best friends held a secret without him. He asked a question to recover, but it came out slightly croakier than he'd intended.

"How long have you loved her?" He asked, not sure he wished to know how long the secret had been kept from him. Remus was looking at him with a furrowed brow, considering if he wanted to answer or not it seemed.

"Since the first time I saw..her", came his answer eventually. Sirius took the pause as unwillingness to speak of her, either that or he'd almost slipped her name out. Why he wasn't allowed to know, he couldn't fathom. What did Remus expect him to do upon knowing? Shout it from the top tower of Hogwarts? Announce it to the entire school? Remus obviously trusted James more than him..

His train of thoughts were disturbed by Madam Pomfrey brushing by him. She stood over Remus and with pursed lips said, "Well, how are you feeling?"

"Great. So much better", Remus said and he didn't look to Sirius as though he was lying, so he smiled.

"Well..I suppose you could leave now then. But I'm telling you, Remus, not to go exhausting yourself! You may feel fine just now, but it might hit you later. You mustn't exert yourself at this disco tonight. I don't want to see you back in here until next month thank you". Sirius rolled his eyes behind her back as the nurse waved a finger in Remus's face and he sounded as though he was holding in laughter as he said, "I'll be careful. Can I go then?"

"Yes, as soon as you get dressed. Go on", she said, now with a motherly smile on her lips as she left Remus to change. Sirius sat and looked to Remus. Remus was giving him an odd look and suddenly Sirius remembered that Remus liked people to turn away while he dressed. He'd gotten less strict with that recently, but just now he looked as stern as ever on the matter. The rest of the boys in the Dorm, including Sirius, couldn't care less if their friends turned away or not. But Remus didn't have to tell Sirius why he wished them to look elsewhere. He figured that Remy preferred to keep his scars from transformations of the past hidden. He hadn't had many fresh ones since the Marauders had become animagi, but Sirius knew there might be some from the transformations that happened during their Summer holiday. So Sirius turned without another word.

They left the Wing as soon as Remus was ready to go and Sirius laughed at Remus's reaction to the illusionary spider webs. "Cool decorations", Remus had enthused after his initial reaction of almost jumping into Sirius's arms at the sight of them.

They walked around the school leisurely and arrived to meet their fellow Marauders in the Great Hall at lunch time. It looked amazing. Hundreds of pumpkins hovered above the tables and some had been enchanted to release the odd unsettling laugh. The bewitched sky had been covered to keep the daylight from swimming into the creepy setting.

They all sat down in their normal places and admired the surroundings. "It'll be even better tonight!" Squawked Peter.

"How d'you know", James asked and Peter coloured. But he looked rather pleased with himself. He always seemed to love having news for the Marauders.

"Heard McGonagall telling Professor Reficul. He's not entirely pleased with there being no work today.." Sirius and James sniggered at this.

"Don't expect Professor McGonagall was either", Remus stated thoughtfully. The others nodded in agreement, each wearing smirks.

It was ten minutes before the Hall was filled and people were looking expectantly at their plates. All of a sudden, the golden plates filled with both their normal food and a mix of spooky desserts.

There were cauldron cakes that were bewitched to hiss when you leaned to pick them up, witch cakes flew several inches above the tables and you had to catch them before you could eat them and miniature skeleton biscuits marched around the tables, brandishing their icing swords at them and stopped only when you touched them. They tasted delicious, as everything at Hogwarts usually did. The drinks they had held straws in them and after a couple of moments staring at them, Sirius realized what was weird about them. The glasses that held them had been bewitched not to be seen and the liquid inside the invisible glass looked as though it was held up on it's own, he had to pick one up to make sure that there was glass.

Sirius looked up to the staff whilst munching on a cauldron cake and saw that the only teacher who didn't seem to be enjoying the Halloween spirit was their dear potions master. He sat with a sour face. Dumbledore was in stark contrast to him, as he was trying rather comically to catch an out of control witch cake. Even the stern McGonagall looked amused by this and was chuckling pleasantly. A great atmosphere hung in the air and Sirius and his friends were in great spirits.

"So what's everyone dressing up as tonight?" Peter asked. Sirius allowed a wicked grin to flit over his face at the thought of what he was wearing.

"I was thinking of dressing as a werewolf, but then I thought it was a bit revealing and..well..lame", Moony said, "So I've decided to go as Elvis".

Sirius screwed his face up. Who was Elvis? James and Peter were nodding their heads in approval and Sirius waited for some explanation. Remus looked at him and grinned, shaking his head, "A muggle music legend, Padfoot". Sirius was the only pureblood in the group. The others all had grandparents who were muggles and were halfbloods, so they all knew at least some muggle facts and this seemed to be a big one. Facts such as this were always lost on Sirius. All his family were wizards and he hardly knew anything about the cultures of the non-magic people at all. Remus had always said he should really have picked Muggle Studies, but what use was that if he wanted to be an auror?

"Well, I'm gonna be a centaur", Peter exclaimed excitedly and looked to his friends to see if they thought it was a good idea. They smiled to please him.

"Dumbledore. I'm going as Dumbledore", James said matter of factly. Sirius laughed and looked at his best mate. Remus looked a little concerned.

"But what if you're checked for it! That could be seen as cheek...", Peter cried, horrified. James and Sirius just laughed at this. Remus even stopped looking worried and smiled at Peter.

"I'm sure Dumbledore'll find it funny actually. Unlike some teachers, he actually has a sense of humour", Sirius said. He'd always admired the laid-back attitude the brilliant wizard had towards practical jokes. Peter stammered a little, "Yes, of course, Padfoot, silly of me.."

They all shook their heads. Sirius hated when Peter did this. Whenever he rarely showed his own opinion on something, if somebody else contradicted him with their own thoughts, he'd immediately tell them they were right, instead of defending his own belief. Why couldn't he just stand his ground once in a while?

"So what are you going as, Padfoot?", Remus asked eagerly to cover the moment. Sirius grinned.

"You'll see when we get dressed", he said sinfully. They all looked at him inquisitively and he loved it.

"Oh, it's nothing..big, so as to put it..", he added for good measure. James screwed up his face in thought.

"Padfoot, what are you up to?" Remus said through a suspicious grin. Sirius just shook his head.

"All in good time. Like I said...no..big deal..", he said, laughing at their expressions. Peter begged him just to tell him through most of the meal and stopped only as they were walking out of the Great Hall and bumped into Snape and his gang.

"So, Snivellus, I take it you won't be going to Hogsmeade tomorrow", James said and Snape's face turned an ugly shade of pink.

"Most definitely not", Snape said, outraged. As a charitable event for extra hospital funds, people were to go in muggle-wear and pay a silver sickle for admission. The Slytherins refused to go as a stand against muggles, as though muggle clothing was beneath them. Any Slytherin who had said they'd go were treated like an outcast and a couple had tried to keep it secret they still wished to visit the village. But they'd been caught and had been found with a few mysterious bruises not long after.

"Great, so the air'll be grease free then", Sirius said viciously and James smirked. Snape turned to his heel and marched off, unable to find a comeback. Sirius turned to his friends. Remus did not look at all pleased, but did not say a word. He noticed James had seen the look and both the boys hung their heads a little in guilt. Peter beamed at them and gave great approval and awed looks. Remus always gave this look whenever the boys taunted Snape. But Sirius and James felt he bloody deserved it. Remus never said anything about it, but those looks he gave would make an innocent person feel guilty. But Sirius and James did it anyway. Snape was always trying to cause trouble for them and generally be a weasel, so they felt it only right to teach him a lesson at any given chance. Surely Remus could see that it had to be done?

They walked up to their Dorm to change, excited about the upcoming disco.

Remus got changed with the others in the Dorm, all except Sirius, who wanted to surprise them with what he was going as. He was more comfortable changing in front of just James and Peter. That morning in the Hospital Wing, he'd came over very self-conscious in front of Sirius. He knew that Sirius just thought that he was hiding his scars, but it was more a case of being scared of Sirius not liking him with his top off. He had scolded himself for thinking that, Sirius doesn't care what I look like with my top off, he'd thought, but he couldn't strip without him turning away all the same. Sirius was getting dressed in the bathroom.

James looked hilarious. He'd bewitched himself to having a long silver beard, just like Dumbledore's and the hair to match it. He wore a similar robe to one Remus had seen the headmaster wearing before. And on his face, his thick horn-rimmed glasses were replaced by petite half moon ones. He'd even charmed a few fake wrinkles onto his face. It was risible.

Peter's attempts were not so wonderful. He was wearing the most unconvincing costume ever. The back half of a horse costume was what he wore and his fat upper body hung over it like a Santa who had had too many cookies and milk. It was horrible, but Remus told him it looked great anyway.

Remus had used the same bewitchment charm that James had used to turn his own hair jet black and gelled it to have a flick at the front. He wore a tight white sequined Elvis jumpsuit with jewels and a large gold-buckled belt. He loved the cape that went with it.

Perry McKinnon had left the Dorm to meet his girlfriend half an hour before and was dressed as an old wizarding singer, Jerry Martin Davies. The three sat waiting for Sirius to come out once they'd got ready.

"Sirius, how long does it take to get ready?" James moaned. They heard Sirius's amused and muffled voice call back, "I'll be out in a minute". Remus was dying to see what Sirius would come out like. When he did see it, he was shocked to say the least.

"Merlin, Sirius! Oh my God!", said James and Peter clasped his hand to his mouth in shock. Remus dropped the robe he held and stared open-mouthed at his friend.

"What, I'm Adam. Y'know, Adam and Eve..See, I do know something about muggles", Sirius said through a confident grin. Remus could hardly avert his eyes. By God, Sirius had always been bold, but this! Sirius stood with only a fig leaf keeping his decency. Remus blushed as he stared, affixed to the almost naked Sirius before them. Although straight, even James was raking his friends body with fervor and Peter was gawping from behind Remus. James recovered first and bought Remus a little time to do the same.

"You'll freeze your ass off, Sirius!" James exclaimed, laughing at his best mate's audaciousness. Remus couldn't believe what he was seeing, but he finally managed to close his mouth, and realized it was just in time as he had almost drooled. God, a lot of people are in for a treat tonight when they see Sirius, he thought.

"Nope! See, the leaf isn't actually the only thing I'm wearing. It's just I bewitched my clothes to look invisible and put the leaf outside. So, I'm quite fully dressed so to speak..", he said. Sirius didn't look at all awkward from his friends staring at his visage. Remus supposed that it was a good job too, because a lot more people were going to be staring at Sirius once he left the Dorm.

"I had to cover my ass though", he said wistfully turning around to reveal a green covered butt, "They can't say I'm not wearing anything because I'm fully dressed and they can't say I'm not decent enough, for everything that really needs to be covered is..what?"

"Sirius! Does Mel know you're wearing this?" James asked, still astonished. Remus fought hard to keep a moan in the back of his throat from being audible. This was all too arousing. He felt oddly exposed himself in his tight jumpsuit and covered the lower half of his body with his robe that he'd just picked back up so as not to reveal anything.

"Prongs, who do you think my Eve is? It was actually her that suggested it..I was impressed..", Sirius said fondly and Remus felt a short rage once again at Melanie. But it must be admitted, they were going to be one hot pair. Remus knew though, no matter how pretty Mel was, she did not equal Sirius's beauty and he'd be the one receiving most stares from both guys and girls alike.  
"God, I didn't think anything you did any more would shock me, Padfoot, but this one...well", James trailed off and Sirius smirked at him. Remus felt he would have to say something soon, so chose this moment in case his regained voice would go missing again if he did not use it soon.

"I must say, Siri, I'm more than a little shocked myself", he managed and Peter was the only one still visibly shocked. Remus had a grip on himself now, but his mind was saying something totally different from his body language. It was screaming at him inside, but he appeared a lot more calm than that.

Sirius looked to him and said thoughtfully, "Elvis looks cool". Remus couldn't believe Sirius could be so casual and speak about what Remus was wearing while he was wearing what he was, or rather, what he wasn't wearing.

"Well...", James began, still staring at Sirius with widened eyes. Remus noticed, a little annoyed, that James had the beginnings of an erection too. "..I guess we'd better go and meet the dates.." So they walked from their Dorm down the stairs to the Common Room.

Waves of deep shock soared through the air as people saw Sirius's almost naked form. Many girls - and a few boys - stared at Sirius's lower half, some of them drooling. Sirius looked nonchalant to the looks he received. Many eyes raked his body and Remus felt a nasty burning anger run through his own. He wanted them not to look. He couldn't bear them all being able to see so much of Sirius. Everyone gasped on their first sighting of the beautiful boy. One look around and Remus saw that Sirius had the most shocking outfit of all. Of course. Nobody else in their right mind would have had enough courage to have done this. All eyes were on Sirius and arousal hung heavy in the air.

The boys looked for their dates, but only Peter's remained in the room. Remus, James and Sirius left the room as Peter went to speak to Bertha. Although Lily had told James that they weren't each other's dates, she had agreed to meet with him outside the Great Hall. She was the first the boys saw, so James went over to her with a grin to Sirius, then Remus. He'll have a great time with Lily, Remus thought as he saw Lily laughing at his costume. Sirius was causing a stir again as people began to notice him.

Remus didn't get to see Mel show up, because after a couple of moments, Siobhan turned up beside him. She was wearing a cute little pink and white bunny costume and her silky brown hair fell down her back gracefully. She looked really pretty, pity I don't fancy her at all, Remus thought. She eyed Sirius appreciatively before dragging a reluctant Remus through the crowd towards the hall.

Remus did not want to dance with Siobhan and was wishing he'd stayed in his Dorm and declined her. Near the doors, Remus saw Snape. He chuckled at Snape's Halloween spirit; he'd made a worse attempt than Peter had. The only thing different about his appearance at all was a fake pair of fangs in his mouth and Remus supposed this was his lazy effort at being a vampire.

The ceiling of the hall had been uncovered to once again reveal the bewitched ceiling. It was a perfect imitation of the cloudless sky outside that was thickly dotted with bright stars. The Hall was pitch black all over, with a dim light falling from the walls onto the floor. The parameters of the hall boasted hundreds of slender tables under black shining silk coverings and fine canopies of web hung over each candlelit table. It was elegant and chilling at the same time and more pumpkins scattered the room. Smoke hovered low on the dark dance floor and stepping through it sent a strange warmth over Remus that made him wonder what it really was.

As the hall filled, Remus attempted to travel the floor to reach a far off table and sit down, but Siobhan gripped hold of him meters from his destination and pulled him back nearer the center of the hall. Each couple were distanced about a meter apart and the first song began. It was medium speed and Remus was forced to dance. He and Siobhan did and half way through the song, Remus looked up to find he was in a different spot from where they'd begun.

He saw James and Lily dancing, staring into one another's eyes. James saw him and smiled. Dumbledore was dancing nearby with Professor McGonagall and he gave a smiling glance to James's costume. Remus saw a scandalised look suddenly pass over McGonagall's face as she looked somewhere behind Remus. Her eyebrows had almost disappeared and were close together, her mouth fell open and her eyes flashed dangerously.

He whipped Siobhan around to face the other way so he could get a view of what his teacher saw. He had a feeling already, and it was confirmed straight away. Sirius and Melanie stood, in one anothers arms swaying to the music and having a nice time. Melanie was certainly Eve and wore a similar amount of clothing to Sirius, except from she wore some leaves on the top half of her body too. They were so obviously the most gorgeous pair in the room and Remus didn't remember ever seeing Sirius so beautiful as he looked in the dark yellow light. He hated Mel more than ever. He looked back to Professor McGonagall to see what she would do, but it seemed Dumbledore had calmed her for she was looking back to him, tight lipped.

He looked back to Sirius and Melanie. Most eyes were on them. Remus wished more than anything that he was Melanie at that moment. She was so close to him it was making him find breathing hard to do through his anger at her and lust for him. Sirius looked passed Melanie to Remus and winked at him.

Remus flushed and was thankful for the low lights as he smiled back to Sirius in response. His heart felt like it was being ripped apart as he watched Melanie pull Sirius's head down for a kiss when the song ended.

He was thankful when a boy came to he and Siobhan and asked if he could cut in. Remus looked to Siobhan and she looked pleased at the prospect, so he left them and Sirius on the dance floor behind him as he walked to a far corner of the room. He sat at a table in the shadows of the corner and tried not to look deep into the crowds. He feared going back in case Siobhan caught him and made him dance again or even worse, that he'd see her with Sirius again.

So he stayed there for what seemed like hours. He listened to the music, watched the couples dancing and even more, thought of seeing Sirius in his costume tonight. He ignored remembering Mel in these thoughts. She should never have existed as far as he was concerned. He was in his own little dream world when he was brought back to Earth with a beautiful sensual voice.

"How come you're not dancing, Moony? I've not seen you since the first song..", Sirius said, taking the seat opposite Remus.

Remus expected to see Mel beside Siri as he looked up, but his heart gave a happy thump as he found only the handsome friend of his. His heart began hammering in his chest painfully at being alone with Sirius in the setting, with the music and with what Sirius wore. He couldn't help but grin like a fool.

"A guy cut in, so I came here and couldn't be bothered going back", Remus said, partly telling the truth. Sirius looked sadly at him.

"Moony, you should ask her to dance", Sirius said. Remus shook his head and stared into Siri's eyes.

"No, I told you, Padfoot. I couldn't be bothered. She seemed happy to dance with - "

"No. I meant the girl you actually like. You should have asked her to dance. You know, if you don't try her with a question, you'll never know if she likes you back", Sirius said softly. Remus shook his head again.

"I know the answer already, Padfoot. It would freak..her..out", Remus said, almost having slipped out 'him' instead of 'her'. The look of sympathy Sirius held in his eyes made Remus feel heartened how much the boy cared for him. Pity he doesn't care the other way too, the way I care for him, Remus thought, suddenly feeling tearful.

"Freak her out? I don't get it..Well, I have to get back, Remy. Mel's waiting. I told her I'd just leave for one song. Very demanding that girl is..I hope your girl notices you, Moony. If she does, maybe then you'll tell me who she is?" Sirius said and gave a small bark of laughter.

"I do want to tell you, Padfoot. I just...not now. I hope she notices too. Thanks Siri. You should go back now", Remus finished grudgingly. But he did not want this conversation to carry on as he had fear that he'd end up telling Sirius, through all his comforting and sweet words, that he was actually the person Remus wished to be dancing with. With one last smile, Sirius was off. Remus watched him until he was out of view.

What would you do, Siri, if you did find out, he wondered. Then he thought not to go over that as his mind always sent him images of disgust on Sirius's face. You never will find out, my friend. I wish to keep being able to call you that too much to ruin it.

Remus skirted down the side of the Great Hall and managed to slip out, unseen. He ran to his Dorm, wiping away a few tears and went straight to bed after changing into his pyjamas. He figured it would take a while for him to fall asleep, but was surprisingly pulled into dreamland not too long after he lay his head down. The ever-present figure once again wandered freely through his dream. Sirius Black was not with Melanie here...

Remus sat on his bed, just having dressed for Hogsmeade. He was the only one awake in the dorm so far and he figured that the reason might be that it was dawn. He sat there on his bed wearing his muggle clothing. He had felt lucky he'd already had them, for it meant he did not have to rush to the shops before the trip, as Peter had done. He had found it the slightest bit strange that Sirius, a pureblood, already had muggle clothes before they had been told about the Hogsmeade trip. Most pureblood wizards just wore their robes all the time as most happened to be in Slytherin, who detested muggle clothing. James also had the clothes already.

Remus was wearing a plain loose ultramarine coloured t-shirt with slightly baggy powder-blue jeans. He did not want to wake his friends up, for he knew they would not appreciate being woke up so early on a Saturday, and anyway, he was having too good a time to.

He was thoroughly enjoying watching the deliciously warm golden light that had begun to dance across the exquisite features of Sirius's delectably tanned face. 

He watched until the sun had spread delightfully over his entire face before realizing his breathing had become fast and he was trembling slightly. A small smile played at the corners of Siri's mouth and he looked so peaceful that Remus wondered what he could possibly be dreaming. Maybe he'd ask when he woke up. He tore his eyes from him to look outside. The sun had creeped up into a pink and blue sky. Though the scene was really pretty, Remus found it easy to let his eyes leave the sight as they travelled back to gaze at the wonderful boy in the bed opposite him. He was instantly thankful that the boys in the Dorm rarely closed their hangings. He was glad he was not denied this blissful haven that was looking at the picturesque Sirius lying before him.

He wished he could be as close to Sirius's face as the light that settled upon it. He wished he was as close to Sirius's body as his clothes were, even to be the air that hung around him. Sometimes, to be James, who seemed to sometimes share a soul with Sirius by the way they acted. Remus believed he could never be close enough to the boy. He was never with the boy as much as he wanted to be. And the longer Remus did get to spend with Sirius, the more time he wanted extra.

Sirius's nose twitched in the cutest way possible, just like a small baby bunny and Remus smiled broadly at the tiny action, feeling a new dose of warmth pass over his body. Sirius never looked this innocent while awake. He always had a mischievous twinkle in his eyes or a slightly mad glint. Now, Remus could hardly believe that this was the same boy who had gone to the Hallowe'en disco next to naked at the beginning of the week. No wicked grin set his face and no plan was being hatched in his outstanding mind. Remus wondered which look he preferred on Sirius and realized that he loved them both equally. Both made his body burn with desire and his mind glaze over with dizziness and pleasure. So Remus watched for a few hours as the natural shadows wandered across his face and listened carefully to the lulling rhythmic breathing he released like sweet music. He carefully glanced now and then to the other boys in the Dorm to make sure they didn't catch him doing all this, but found they all slept still soundly for a long time.

Perry was the first to disturb the calm setting and Remus quickly started to his trunk in pretense of looking for something. Perry hadn't noticed a thing and sat up wiping sleep out of his eyes. He got up, acknowledged Remus with a grunt and went to dress. When he came back, he said he'd to leave to meet his girlfriend and James began stirring in his bed.

Remus sat back on his bed, knowing that it wasn't suspicious after all to be sitting there, as long as he wasn't sitting drooling over the teenager opposite him. He couldn't wait to go to Hogsmeade. He'd thought Siri might be going with Melanie, but Sirius had informed him that Melanie's parents refused to buy the muggle clothing for a single day's wear of them. So she wouldn't be going, leaving the other Marauders a free amount of time with Sirius. Remus thought that he had been spending far too much time with the girl recently anyway. Since the disco, to most people's distaste, Mel had become something like Sirius's shadow. Remus knew he wouldn't be the only one at Hogsmeade ecstatic to see no Melanie clinging to Sirius like he would fly away if she let go.

Of course, Remus inadvertently understood her possessiveness as he knew that if he was as lucky as her, he wouldn't want Sirius out of his sight either. Apart from there being so many people who would do anything to take over from the person with Sirius, Remus would happily stare at the boy forever. He'd never leave his side. But he didn't have that option, as that option would ruin his friendship if he attempted to try it. He didn't think Sirius would be too pleased to have one of his best mates, a boy, staring at him all the time and following him everywhere. Or see quite how obsessed Remus actually was with him..

James jerked awake, causing Remus to jump slightly. The boy reached for his glasses and once they were on, he smiled to Remus before collecting his things and setting off for a shower and to get dressed. Before entering the bathroom, Remus saw how he checked the Dorm to see who was present. When his eyes had rested on Sirius, Remus was sure James had caught his breath at the beauteous sight. It was no wonder.

About five minutes after James had gone in, Peter had started awake, mirroring James's awakening. After a few scurrying glances around the room, he'd seemed to realize where he was and he flushed as he saw Remus looking at him. Peter didn't even bother trying to get in the bathroom for a shower, or to even wash, he just flung his clothes on and sprayed a can of muggle body spray on both him and his clothes. Not the cleanest of the Marauders, Remus thought amusedly. Peter was wearing a disgusting orange vest top that pulled horribly tight over his rolls of fat and had bronze coloured trousers that his stomach bulged over. It was hideous.

James came out wearing a tight white denim shirt that said "Tease Me" in glittery blue writing on the top pocket and dark, slightly baggy blue jeans. "How do I look?" He asked Remus and Peter with a sheepish grin.

"Great, James", Peter squeaked. James looked pleased and turned to Remus, seeking approval.

"Yeah. Cool. Love the shirt", Remus said and James looked to the still sleeping Sirius.

"Shall we?" James asked, showing a glint of madness in his own eyes. Remus and Peter didn't have to answer. They all got up and ran to Sirius's bed and dived on top of him. He woke with an, "Argh! Get off", before picking up his pillow and bashing them in turn with it. Remus realized after a few minutes, embarrassed that he was sitting with his legs either side of Sirius's. He leaped backwards off the bed and hoped that nobody had noticed.

"Right, Sirius. Ready. We're gonna be late if we have a pillow fight", he said. James and Peter stepped back from the bed too and Sirius got out.

"No fun", Sirius said with a mock-hurt face. He went to the end of his bed to his trunk to get his things and Remus gasped when Sirius bent over to open it. Thankfully, when he looked around, nobody had heard him, but he turned from the sight to stop himself from gasping again. When he looked back, Sirius was entering the bathroom.

"We're gonna go wait in the Common Room", James shouted to Sirius and Remus scowled to himself. He wanted to see Sirius before the others in Gryffindor. But they went nevertheless.

Remus was happy to see that Melanie was nowhere in sight. He thought happily that nobody thought to wake her to witness her all over Sirius as though he wouldn't come back. Many people were in the Common Room. A lot of people were leaving it just then, as the Hogsmeade trip was in ten minutes. Remus kept his eyes on the stairs from their Dorm as the boys sat in their usual seats. Remus was happy that the room had emptied before Sirius had come down. He was even happier when the boy did.

Sirius jogged quickly down the steps and Remus's heart paused as he took in his appearance. It was unbelievable, but Sirius had managed to look just as sexy as he had with barely any clothes on with what he was wearing now. Sirius strode confidently up to them and the other two finally noticed him before he stopped at them and they gasped.

Sirius was wearing very tight black jeans and an even tighter black t-shirt. As he moved, the fabric moved sensuously over perfect abs and muscles. His tanned skin gleamed richly and his black clothing and jet black hair made his eyes look even brighter than usual. They shone like deep penetrating pools of crystalline blue water on an island beach. Sirius looked delicious. Remus couldn't help but let a groan utter from deep in his throat and stifled it as best as he could. He found difficulty in taking in enough air and his breathing was slightly ragged. Sirius's face had a radiant glow as it filled with a heartbreaking smile and said, "We'd better go. Gonna be late".

James smirked through staring and he managed, "And who's fault would that be", lightly panting. Sirius looked innocently around the room and then back to the Marauders, who all burst out laughing.

"Come on then", Remus said, leading their way out of the Common Room. They arrived to be ticked off on the list of people going. All eyes were on Sirius as usual. Many people shamelessly told him how gorgeous he was looking and he took it all in his stride, thanking each person in turn and also returning the compliments, may it have been lies or not. Remus was tempted to tell him too, just to hear a compliment for him, but instantly thought better of it.

When they arrived at the village, the attention was still on Sirius and James somehow managed to have the Marauders escape the crowd.

"I thought we'd never get away. All your fault Sirius!" James said, laughing merrily.  
"How the hell is it my fault, Jamie?" Sirius asked, bemused. James glanced up and down Sirius's body and sighed.

" 'Cos you would insist on looking so damn hot!", James said in an exasperated tone.

"What?!", Sirius shouted, voicing Remus's thought. He looked entirely shocked and the bemusement was completely lost from him. They all looked to James who had gone slightly red, but he just shrugged.

"Don't get me wrong, Padfoot..I'm not in any way gay...but come on! Surely even you can see how hot you look?" James asked and they were all shocked. Remus couldn't believe James was saying this and Sirius looked as though he held a similar thought.

"Prongs!" Sirius exclaimed, mouth cutely dropped, "What the hell?" James bit his lip and Remus knew he wasn't sure if he should continue his statements. But he did. His brows furrowed as he looked to Sirius.

"Padfoot! Calm yourself! I'm only saying that you look damn sexy!", digging a deeper hole as Sirius looked as though his jaw would come clean off if it was forced further apart with any more shock, "I'm not professing my undying love for you or anything. I DO fancy Lily! Just saying you're looking fine draws much attention everywhere we go!"

Sirius looked as though he really didn't know what to say and just stood staring at James in disbelief for a few moments. He recovered through a smirk.

"Now that I know my best mate thinks I'm hot..maybe I should watch out in the bathrooms..we might wanna actually go somewhere!" and James hit him at the bathroom comment before the Marauders burst out laughing.

James only dug deeper as they stopped. "Maybe next time you'll try not to look so stunning and let us breathe a little from your fans".

"Prongs!", and Sirius looked as though he was about to die of shock again before grinning and pulling James in front of him with his back to him and stepping in close behind him. James jumped and blushed as Sirius whispered in his ear, "Never knew you felt this way, Jamie. You and me. Tonight?", as he caressed James's arm. Though knowing it was all in fun, Remus couldn't help but feel jealous and wish that he was James there and then. James put his hand over Sirius's and turned carefully to look up at him, "Why, what's wrong with now, dear Siri?"

Sirius gave a bark of laughter and Remus cleared his throat. "Are we going guys", Remus said, traces of bitterness in his voice. He was glad he said it 'cos straight away, Sirius released James and grabbed Remus instead and pulled him to face him, inches apart.

"Sorry, Moony. Were you feeling left out?" Sirius purred and Remus gasped and backed his lower half the tiniest space away from Sirius, so as not to show he had an erection. Remus flushed and Sirius chuckled in his ear warmly. Remus only wished it was meant.

As he opened his mouth to attempt a retort, Peter's voice came from far away and Remus was shocked at what he said.

"I dare you two to kiss! I bet you don't!", he said and Sirius grinned lavishly, with raised eyebrows at Remus. Remy couldn't believe it when Sirius looked over to Jamie as he called, "Yes, Sirius. I dare you too!" Remus jumped from Sirius and glared at James, his face burning with heat. His heart hammered in his chest when he heard Sirius.

"Well!", he breathed and Remus turned back to see Sirius grinning," Is this what your dirty little minds fantasize about then?" He laughed and Remus looked back at James with a killer look that screamed, 'what are you playing at'.

James was looking purposefully at Remus and Remy was scared that Sirius was about to find out his secret. If he'd have seen past his embarrassment at that moment, he'd have felt only pleasure.

"Well, I dunno 'bout you, Moony, but I've never turned a dare down and I don't hope to now. C'mon then", Sirius said and Remus was sure he was imagining this. He felt unreal. This was surely unreal! Sirius was agreeing to kiss him! Even if it was just for a dare...

Remus jumped slightly as he felt Sirius's arm on his and gasped again as Sirius pulled him back in. He hardly heard James's voice say, "A real kiss. With tongue!" and Sirius's saying, "Fine! But you'll kiss Peter after it!"

He did hear Peter gasp as he was held loosely in Sirius's grip. He did hear James saying, "Fine by me" as Sirius looked back down upon him. A burning sensation flooded through his entire body and all he could think of now was how close Sirius's face was to his own. He felt Sirius pierce his skin with his eyes and watched Sirius's full lips as they got closer to his. His eyes shut on their own as the space between him and Sirius closed. The last thing he saw was Sirius's eyes and they swam inside his mind as he felt Sirius's hot breath against his cheek. Remus felt heaven approach him as Sirius's hands snaked around his back and one behind his head. The last thing he remembered was falling to the ground..

"Remus! Are you all right? Can you hear me?" Remus heard Sirius's voice coming from above him. He opened his eyes and things began to swim back into view. Sirius was kneeling over him and James was beside him, both looking very concerned. A pair of legs caught in the corner of his eye told him Peter was standing a little off to the side. Then he remembered what had happened. Oh, God, his mind screamed as he realized he must have fainted.

"I'm fine", he said weakly, trying to get up. Sirius and James quickly sprung to his aid and helped him up. He stood on shaking legs with his eyes on the ground in shame as they let go of him. He felt humiliated at the thought of having just fainted when he'd been dared to kiss Sirius. He'd know now! Sirius would know how he felt!

"Remus", Sirius exclaimed and Remus felt sweet relief pass over him as the next words came, "You never ate! Did you? No wonder you fainted! One week after the full moon and you're going out without eating! Moony, you know you need as much energy as possible!"

Remus apologised and agreed to eat, knowing that it was nothing to do with eating at all. He was more than happy to agree with this though. He couldn't believe that for all the cleverness of Sirius, he still didn't manage to see how Remus felt about him after such an obvious display! James also looked relieved for Remus and Remus recovered from humiliation as he watched the concern on Sirius's face for him. He couldn't believe how close that had been. He could jump off a bridge at the thought of it! And..he'd almost been kissing Sirius...

Sirius made sure they went to a cafe before going to the pub, the Three Broomsticks, and watched carefully as Remus ate. It was soon forgotten by him, but not quite by Remus, as they had knocked back a few drinks and Remus was immensely relieved every time he thought of how that could have went.

James had whispered to him, "Close shave that" and he'd agreed willingly. As the Marauders had a great time, Remus couldn't help but dwell on his shame of having fainted under the close proximity of Sirius. Did he have it that bad for him? Obviously he had. He knew he had. But he allowed himself to get lost in the fun they were having and pushed it from his mind as much as he could.

The Marauders were reluctant to go home but when they got back, they all went straight to bed. Remus lay for hours playing the day's events over and over in his mind and couldn't help but smile as he thought of how close he had been to kissing Sirius. Gorgeous Sirius.

His dreams were tranquil and he did not nearly kiss Sirius there. He did kiss him and it was wonderful.  
,--,--,--,--,--,--, 


	7. Vengeance and Pranks

DISCLAIMER: Well I don't own any of JKR's characters or ideas, i'm just borrowing them cry cry..lol.

Chapter 7 : Vengeance and Pranks

Sirius abandoned his clothes on the floor, made sure he had his shampoo then stepped into the lukewarm shower. Monday again, he thought as he squirted shampoo onto his hands and smoothed it through his hair. And then his thoughts turned to the previous day. When he'd woken up on the Sunday morning, he'd remembered how Remus had collapsed in Hogsmeade. He'd gotten worried about him and had kept a close eye on the boy all day. Then he remembered how the boy had jumped under his touch more than once and he dwelled on the thought. There was something strange about the way Remus had been acting. Ever since..That's it, he realized. Since Peter and Jamie dared me to kiss him! But why...No! Surely he knows I'm straight! He probably freaked thinking I fancy him or something! I've never fancied a guy in my life, Sirius thought, everything now making sense. He also remembered the way Remus had reacted when he'd told him to shift over on his bed in the Hospital Wing to make room for him. Remus must think he fancied him! How stupid!

He made a resolution to make it clear to Remus that he didn't fancy him.Though he should already know, he thought with a frown. Had he not carried on with James too? Had James not realized that it was a joke? Yes, so why didn't Remus? And it wasn't him that had started it anyway. That had been James. With the comment of Sirius looking hot. That had been..something. Sirius had been the tiniest bit freaked out by it, but had soon decided that it was okay once James reassured him he didn't fancy him and was straight. Sirius had never had anything against gay people but he didn't think he'd have handled James fancying him. That would have been..weird. 'Cos he'd never return that feeling..he liked girls anyway. Ruin a perfectly good friendship, that would! Then wickedness spread through his mind as it more than occasionally did with Sirius.

Where was the harm in Remus thinking this? As long as Sirius never actually felt something for Remus, then there would be no problem. In fact it could probably be quite fun teasing Remus. He wasn't going to stay back from the boy more as he'd first thought, he'd maybe hang around him more!

So Sirius got out of the shower and walked out to the Marauders all waiting for him as usual to go to class. They all walked down and Sirius made a point of talking loads to Remus. He put his arm around his shoulder as they walked down the stairs and found much amusement in the way Remus flinched. Straight away, Sirius asked as innocently as he could, "What's up, Moony? Why so jumpy?" He was satisfied at the shock on Remus's face.

"N-nothing! I'm not!" Remus rushed and flushed. Can't wait to tell James this one! Aww, and Remus is too kind to say anything, Sirius thought, amused. Approaching the class, Sirius let his arm slip close to Remus's ass before taking it away from him. The boy flushed even more as he flinched, but he never said a word.

As soon as they walked in, they were told to partner up. All amusement was immediately lost when, after only ten minutes in the class, Snape decided to come over to annoy them.

"I like your potion", he said icily to Peter and Remus beside him. Remus was fine in potions by himself, but he did struggle a little on his own, never mind trying to keep Peter right too. "Oh. Wait. It's not actually supposed to be green, is it", he added venomously. Peter coloured and Remus just said, "No. It's not. Can be fixed though", and he added some extra powdered newt skin and the potion turned turquoise, as it was meant to be.

Sirius never knew how Remus could be so calm with Snape. He, himself always felt like wringing his scrawny neck and he knew James felt the same way. Snape's mouth twisted sourly as Sirius and James smirked at him.

"There was something different about Hogsmeade yesterday..I couldn't quite put my finger on it", James said, "It was...cleaner..Oh! Would that be because you weren't there?", he finished viciously and Sirius let out a bark of laughter, along with a few people from the class who were rapidly turning their attention to the bickering. Sirius heard Professor Reficul call from the front of the room that he was going to be out of the class for a couple of minutes and he left. This allowed the full class to turn their attention to the slagging match that was getting more and more heated.

Soon, all the Gryffindors were laughing at Snape, even Remus and Lily Evans, who normally didn't approve of it. The other Slytherins were crowded round too, not liking what was being said, but none of them wishing to go against the Marauders. Snape stood with his mouth open, having ran out of comebacks and looked around him like a caged animal.

Suddenly, an ugly smile appeared on his face and he looked slowly this time around the crowd and settled his eyes on Remus before hissing, "Well, Potter, Black, at least I don't hang around with a werewolf!" He looked pointedly at Remus.

Sirius couldn't believe he'd said that. Sound cut off at the words. It seemed everyone held their breaths and there was a sudden tension in the air that could have been cut with a knife. Sirius looked at Remus and saw he had paled and his eyes bulged in terror as he searched the faces of the crowd. The crowd had sent up gasps of shock and had instantly recoiled away from Remus. Their looks were of mingled fear and disgust. Sirius stood with his mouth wide open and looked quickly to James to see what he was doing. James only reflected his own shock.

Then, without warning, Remus ran from the class, banging the door tight behind him. They all stood still in silence for a few moments before a wild upsurge of words rang through the room. People were saying, 'Oh my God' and 'It can't be true" and Sirius knew he had to do something. He reached forward and pulled James and Peter away from the crowd.

Sirius heard the teacher reenter the class as he said, "James, go to Dumbledore and tell him what just happened", James nodded and looked as though he'd just came out of his trance at the words, "He can put a memory charm on the class. Go!" And he watched James run from the class. Professor Reficul was to be heard shouting in the background, both at the class and after James. Sirius turned to Peter, who was looking anxiously up at him, "Pete, I want you to stay here and make sure nobody else leaves the class. Okay?" Peter nodded so Sirius continued, "Right, I'm gonna go find Remus" and left, vaguely hearing Professor Reficul call, "Come back here, Black!"

He ran up the dungeon steps and at the top he realized he didn't know where Remus had gone. He bit his lip and decided to try the Dorm first. He ran all the way and by the time he reached the Common Room, he was out of breath. But he didn't care. He ran through the portrait hole and slowed only as he climbed the stone steps to the dormitory. He listened at the door for any telltale signs that Remus was there, and hearing none, he thought he probably wasn't. But when he opened the door, he found Remus sitting on his bed with his head on his knees that were drawn up close to his body and he had his arms around them, holding tight.

As Sirius approached him, Remus didn't look at him but said in a quivering voice, "Go, Sirius. I want to be alone". But Sirius continued to approach him. When he stopped at the bed, Remus looked up at him pitifully and Sirius noticed Remus was shaking and his face was ghostly white.

"Tough", and he sat beside him, "It'll be fine, Moony. James is away getting Dumbledore to put a memory charm on the class. They won't remember a thing". Remus, though looking a little relieved at the news, scoffed and looked to Sirius, who was now pressed against his side. Sirius took in how Remus's eyes looked watery.

"You saw how they looked at me though, didn't you? Like a freak..", Remus said and Sirius pulled him into a hug. He half expected him to flinch from the gesture, but Remus clung to Sirius like a child to it's mother. Sirius whispered reassurances into his ear of, 'They were just shocked is all', 'They don't matter' and 'you're not a freak, I think it's way cool'. Sirius hugged the boy for ages because Remus seemed to be calmed from it. Soon enough, he had Remy laughing and they sat, happy that they were missing a lesson of Reficul's.

Once Sirius thought it was safe enough, he brought Snape up. "I'm gonna get Snape for this.."

"No! Don't. He's not worth it, Siri", Moony said passionately. Sirius just shook his head, "It has to be done. I'm sure Prongs'll agree there. Snape will pay".

Remus looked mournfully at his sheets, realizing it was not a matter that Sirius would be swayed on. He must have known Sirius was not going to change his mind. Through the panic of it all, Sirius had forgotten to pretend to Remus he fancied him. He'd forgotten even thinking about it and Remus had stopped flinching every time he touched him anyway.  
.--.

James worried through classes as Sirius and Remus failed to turn up. Dumbledore had successfully put forgetting spells on the class. It was a pity that Snape didn't have one put on him too, but he had been shocked and pleased to find that Lily Evans had actually put a hex on Snape and he'd been taken to the Hospital Wing before he and Dumbledore had arrived. The headmaster had said that he'd have a word with Snape and how he thought that it would be unnecessary to take away Snape's memory of Remus being a werewolf. He'd protested, of course, but the old Professor would have none of it. He decided he'd check their dorm at lunch time to see if they were there.

As he reached the door, he was relieved to hear laughing from inside and he stepped in to see Sirius sitting beside Remus on his bed. He couldn't help but think, Remus'll be enjoying that before announcing his presence by banging the door closed. He laughed as the pair on the bed jumped.

"D'you know Dumbledore wouldn't even get rid of that greasy git's memory", he said as he sat beside them.

"Well, he'll think twice before doing it again once we're done with him, eh Prongs?"

James smiled at his best mate, who had his trademark wicked grin plastered on his face. "Mmm hmm. How's tomorrow sound for some Snape pranks?"

"Sounds good to me", Siri said through a gorgeous grin and Remus announced that he, as usual, didn't want anything to do with it and left the room for Sirius and James to discuss it. They didn't bother going to their last classes as they planned their prank.

Remus wasn't looking forward to what Sirius and James were going to do to Snape. He didn't want them getting into trouble over him. Remus had sat looking to James and Sirius and watched as the two chatted animatedly during class in whispers. Part of him was excited, he must admit. When lunchtime came, Sirius and James almost ran up to the Great Hall. Remus wanted to see what they were going to do, so made sure he kept up with them.

They sat down and Remus saw how they stared almost unblinkingly at the entrance doors. They hadn't even bothered to say hello to Peter as he sat down with them. They never took their eyes off it and Remus saw the hunger in their maddened eyes as Snape walked in with Rosier, Wilkes, Avery and the Lestranges. The look they were giving him made the hairs on the back of Remus's neck stand on end and Snape seemed to have felt their penetrating stares too because he looked over suddenly before sitting. He seemed frightened and turned away straight after. Remus would have been scared too had that look been there for him. It worried him. What if they done something that would get them expelled?

"Please don't do anything! Or at least tell me what it is", Remus pleaded. The mad pair's eyes softened a little as they looked to each other, then to Remus.

"You'll see in a minute, Moony. It's all right, it's not something serious. Just a normal prank. We did think about other things, mind you...but I don't think any more than you do that Snape's worth being put in Azkaban for", Sirius said.

"Azkaban? What had you been planning before? I was thinking more along the lines of not wanting you expelled never mind sent to jail", Remus exclaimed. Sirius and James grinned to each other, madness returning in full force as they clearly thought of what they'd had planned before.

"Doesn't matter, Moony. This one's just a normal prank. Nothing even to be expelled over", James reassured him. Remus felt relieved. Just a normal prank. He would be fine with that. God, though! They must have been really mad at Snape to even consider going to that horrible wizard prison! This oddly comforted Remus, though he berated himself for it; he should never want his friends to risk that place for him.

James was turned around in his seat so he could easily glare over at Snape and Remus noticed how Snape kept giving darting glances to them, looking now and then to the door as though he may run through it any second. From beside him he heard Sirius suddenly mutter, "Verbum.." and James murmured, "..Rotulus" straight after it.

Remus looked over at Snape to see what they'd done. Nothing had happened. When Remus looked back at his friends, he found James had turned around and had started to eat his meal and then he looked at Sirius and saw he'd done the same. Remus thought briefly that it must not have worked. Then he remembered that Sirius and James had never been unable to perform a spell. So what had they done?

Remus waited for something to happen all during the meal. But Sirius and James sat and spoke normally through their food, with only small glances to the Slytherin table. Remus suspected this was to see when Snape was leaving. He wondered why nothing had happened and was just about to ask when Sirius stood up beside him and James followed suit. Remus looked to Snape. He hadn't moved so what were Siri and Jamie doing? He gave a worried scan of the teachers table and found everyone present. Were they going to do this thing, whatever it was, in front of all the professors? Remus and Peter, however, were the only ones to have noticed Sirius and James getting up, as a moment later, people began to rise from their seats to leave.

It was then that Sirius and James strode over to the Slytherin table. Remus followed and amongst the bustle, many surrounding students noticed the Marauders all striding purposefully toward the Slytherin table and had also joined in following.

Snape looked up as Sirius and James stopped at the table, staring, again almost unblinkingly. Snape sunk low in his seat and the people around them formed a ring around the table. While James continued to give a stony glare to Snape, Remus was worried by the grin that filled Siri's face. It was not a fun grin, it was slightly scary.

Sirius looked down the crowd, taking his eyes off Snape for the first time as James continued staring.

"So, Snivellus", looking back at him and slowly saying," Somebody told us that you fancied Professor Lorinov..It's not true is it?" and some people laughed nervously in the line of watchers. Snape looked to Sirius with a look that clearly said, 'don't be absurd' but shocked everyone when he said, "Yes! In fact, I love him!"

What? People burst out laughing and Sirius gave a wry smile. Snape had clutched a hand to his mouth and had stared wide-eyed at James and then down the crowd and shook his head wildly. Remus knew then that James was holding the spell over him and that was why he wasn't speaking. He must be controlling what he said.

"Well, absolutely shocking news", Sirius said dripping sarcasm and people were in fits of laughter, "Well, Snivelly, me and Jamie here have a bet on see. I'd like you to settle a score for us"

"Anything dear", came Snape's voice from behind his hand and Sirius shot a scornful look to James. Remus couldn't help but laugh at this. James had obviously made Snape say that but it seemed that nobody else had clicked on that Snape was unable to control his words. Sirius looked disgusted that James had made Snape say that, but turned his attention back to Snape.

"Well, don't ever call me that again", more sniggers, "Well, I bet that you wash once a month, but Jamie here thinks its only once every season..Well?" Everyone looked at Snape, who was trying to clamp his mouth shut with his hands. As he was about to speak, something saved him from answering. Another voice.

"What on Earth is going on here", came the waspish drawl of Reficul. A few people scattered, but when Remus looked at Sirius and James, they did not look at all concerned. But there was a difference. Sirius was now staring stony faced at Snape, while James stood in front of him with a wide smile, blocking Siri from Reficul's view. Now Remus was worried.

Nothing short of terror crossed Snape's face as James piped up, "Oh, Sir! But Snape was just talking about you! Now, Severus, tell dear Mr Reficul what sweet things you had to say about him". Snape was shaking his head again and people in the crowd held their breath, not wishing to miss his answer. Snape's hand slipped.

"I was saying what a slimy, greasy, crappy teacher you were and how much I hate your guts!", Snape's voice came in a hiss, magnified by the silence. He shook his head wildly so Remus was sure it would fly across the hall any second. Remus looked to Reficul and saw he was flabbergasted.

"WHAT?" he roared and looked as though he couldn't believe a Slytherin of all students, especially Snape, would say such a thing. Remus realized bitterly that Reficul still would not take points from his own favourite house, even if Snape had meant what he was saying. Students all around wouldn't take their eyes from them and Reficul just seemed to notice the crowd of watchers.

"Right! Everyone except from Severus to their dormitories! Now!" and everyone rushed. Remus noticed as he was swept away in the crowd that Sirius and James were both laughing now; the spell must have stopped. He wondered what would Reficul do when Snape would say he was under a Marauder's spell. There was simply no proof. James and Siri were great that way. People knew that they did most pranks at Hogwarts, but not one person could prove it. Well, hardly ever. They always carefully covered their tracks.

When Remus entered the Common Room, he decided to wait for them in the dorm as he'd never get to Siri and James through the crowd that were all waiting to congratulate them and tell them how awesome they were.

He figured that they would be a while in getting up to the room so decided to make a start on his History of Magic essay. He'd just written his first words when the door opened.

"Oh. Sirius. I thought you'd be down stairs being honoured just now..", Remus said with a smile without looking up.

"Well...Left Jamie to it. Enjoys it a bit more than me", Sirius said and Remus looked up as Sirius sat on the bed and lay backwards, arms beneath his head.

Remus watched for a second, observing the cadenced rising and fall of his well built chest and looked up to a smiling Sirius. He was caught off guard by the smoldering look his face. He averted his eyes quickly back to his homework and he heard Sirius chuckle and panicked. Does he know?

"So..you wanna join in our next prank, Moony?" He looked back up and Sirius was making puppy dog eyes at him. So hard to refuse!

"Another? Look, I don't want you two getting in trouble over me. Can't you just leave it? You still might get into trouble for today.."

"No proof. C'mon, Moony. Y'know me and Prongs would be doing this anyway. Just, now we have a better excuse is all. So, take it you're not in then?"

Remus looked up to Sirius and used all his will power to say, "No, Sirius. What are you - ". Sirius had jumped on Remus and had started tickling him. "Siri!...Off!", he managed, panting as he squirmed. Remus realized that Sirius had better get off him quickly. Sirius was sitting round his middle and if he moved any further down, he'd find Remus had a major hard-on. Not too good if he wished to keep his feelings secret. God, though! Did he really want him to move? His heart thundered against his chest and he knew that he really did have to remove Sirius. He was enjoying this far too much and it showed in how this was the most aroused he'd ever been. He pushed Sirius off with all his strength and the boy finally relented and rolled over onto his side.

They lay side-by-side in comfortable silence for a few moments, all homework forgotten, just catching their breath. Remus, for two reasons; all the tickling had taken it out of him..and obviously Sirius took his breath away with the slightest touch. It was Sirius who spoke first.

"Moony", Sirius said. The questioning tone in his voice made Remus look over at him. Sirius. On my bed. For the second time in the same day. Beside me. Wish it could be like this forever, he thought before remembering Sirius had spoken, "Yeah?"

Sirius propped himself up on his elbow and looked down to Remus, uncharacteristic seriousness flooding his features. "I know you don't want me to keep bringing it up, but..the girl you like", not again, "You still in love with her? Still like her as much?" Remus would allow this. He could not tell Sirius it was him he loved, but he'd allow him to question about 'her'.

"Yes, Padfoot. I love her more every time I see her", Remus sighed. He was getting used to saying 'her' now. Sirius smiled for being answered.

"Well, I won't ask who she is..but would you tell me what you love about her?" Sirius asked and Remus wondered why Sirius had come over so serious about love.

He smiled nervously at Sirius and picked through his words carefully, not wanting to disclose too much. "Everything, Padfoot. There's not one thing I can say I don't love about her. I know her faults - believe me there aren't many - but I love them too. They are part of her, they make her who she is", Remus said, surprised at how the answer poured from his mouth like a stream of words bursting their banks to surface and overflow.

Sirius was smiling warmly at him, not a trace of wickedness. It was welcoming and comforting. "Do you think about her all the time?"

"Never stop", Remus exclaimed and Sirius laughed. Remus was loving this. Being so close to Sirius. Having such an intimate conversation. "What made you ask?"

Sirius bit his lip. It was so seductive looking and Remus watched, wanting to help him.."I think I'd like to feel that way about somebody", he finally said. Please God, not about Melanie! Remus didn't feel he'd cope if Sirius was in love with someone.

"Not if that person doesn't feel the same for you! Trust me!" Remus said, hoping to put Sirius off the idea. But Remus knew that if Sirius ever did choose to love someone, there was no chance of it being unrequited love. Remus was overwhelmed by the pity on his friend's face.

"You don't know that Remy! You said it yourself, you haven't done anything about it! Anyway..I dunno. I guess I'm just feeling ready to commit to someone. I'm getting tired of going out with somebody new all the time. I want to fit together with someone", Sirius said. Remy was heartened by the tender authenticity of Sirius's hopes. He deserved more than anyone to be happy and be in love.

"Sirius! You're the one that dumps the girls! You've never been dumped!", Remus said truthfully.

"I know, but I've just never been with anyone I can feel that way about yet", Sirius said pensively.

Please say no, "What about Melanie? Do you think you could love her?" Say no, say no, say no...

"Don't think so. I mean, it's one thing fancying her isn't it, but I don't think I could love her", hallelujah, "No".

"You'll find somebody, Siri. I think Melanie loves you", Sirius looked up quickly, frowning.

"You don't think..Oh, not again! Another disaster of a breakup in the distance. I won't break up with her yet though", Sirius said with scorn.

"Why go out with someone if you know you've no future?" Remus wondered aloud.

"I like having a girlfriend. And I can't keep saying no all the time...they hassle me...", Sirius said and Remus laughed. But it was true.

"People constantly ask you out, don't they", he asked, still laughing. Sirius hit him softly and gave him daggers before saying, "Hmm..They - "

The door slammed shut. James had walked in with Peter. Jamie was looking mightily pleased. Must be all the praise, Remus thought, amused. He wouldn't get to hear what Sirius had been about to say and he regretted it.

"Good news, guys! Free double period next!", James cried delightfully. Sirius grinned and gave a 'Yes!' and Remus smiled. He'd actually forgotten all about classes...

"Oh, Sirius! Melanie's looking for you. She says if I see you, she wants to meet you in this empty classroom. When I asked what one she just said 'he'll know' and walked away", Peter ended with some confusion in his voice.

"When did she say?" Sirius asked. James had laughed when Peter had ended and Remus lowered his eyes. He noticed he was digging his nails rather sorely into his leg and stopped. He was thankful to see Sirius wasn't giving any telltale grins or accounts of what he and Melanie had gotten up to in this empty classroom. Peter was really stupid not to have figured it out.

"Umm..in about ten minutes?" Peter said, screwing up his face in concentration. Sirius nodded and got up from the bed. He then sat back down suddenly and Remus looked up to him.

"What's wrong? Get moving!" James said excitedly. Sirius got up and just as Remus was sure he was going to leave, he changed course and flopped onto his own bed.

"I can't be bothered. I'll just say I didn't see Peter to get her message", Sirius said and Remus was intrigued. So was James.

"Padfoot! You know fine well what Melanie wants to do and you can't be bothered? You nuts?" James implored. Remus kept his eyes on Sirius. He shook his head and laughed.

"Jamie, a guy doesn't have to be horny all the time. I don't want to do it now and I'm not going to. No big deal!" And Remus felt proud of Sirius. James looked bewildered and Remus laughed at his look.

"A guy, not horny? You are nuts..." James said and Peter clicked on to what Melanie wanted.

"Oh! Sirius! Why not?" Peter called loudly. Sirius looked to the door and back to Peter with a frown.

"Keep your voice down or she'll hear you from down there and know I'm here. God, is that all guys are meant to think about? Well, excuse me if I don't piss myself with excitement. I've already been there. Okay, it's a good time...but it's not all I think about! And you, Prongs! I thought you had a bit of sense! You agree with me, Moony, don't ya?" He added, catching Remus by surprise. He took a few seconds to find his answer.

"Yeah. I do agree. And James, does that mean that's all you think about", he added, his own wickedness showing.

"Nah, suppose you're right. Just, if I was going out with Mel, I don't think I'd turn her down..But, yeah. You're right", and he turned to Peter.

"Oh! Of course! I mean, I know I think about other things", Peter said lamely. It was clear to the others that Peter was only saying it to be agreeable. He obviously didn't want to be the only one with a different view on the matter.

So Remus got to spend the rest of the day with Sirius. And the others, but he was ecstatic that Sirius had passed up on such an offer. Sirius couldn't leave the Dorm in case he bumped into Mel, so they all decided to stay in there with him, to Remus's delight. James had annoyingly suggested leaving under the invisibility cloak, but Sirius had said he 'couldn't be bothered'. They had just sat and spoke for hours. Jinxing Snape, of course, had come up and Peter had agreed to help them (not that he'd be any use) but Remus had stuck to his decision.

Over the next few weeks, there had been tonnes of pranks between the Marauders and Snape. Mostly from the Marauders, and Snape's were always crap anyway.

Snape had pathetically transformed James's plate of spaghetti into worms. Sirius and James (and they let Peter have credit, even for doing nothing) had retaliated by jinxing Snape into insulting someone he never would have done otherwise. Remus had watched, entertained as he told a burly trollish seventh year, 'I saw your mother last night. And I had thought it was impossible for anyone to be as ugly as you, but I stand corrected!' and Remus had witnessed Snape having to run for his life after that one.

Remus had been mystified by how Siri and Jamie had been able to sneak into the Slytherin Dorm to bewitch a pair of Snape's shoes into making him tap dance every time he spoke. It had been funny, but even though there was the usual lack of proof, Reficul had given Sirius and James separate detentions. But of course they had their revenge on the Potions Master for that. They had jinxed the back of his cloak to read insults. Statements such as "1st rate loser" and "I'm almost as ugly as my mother" had flashed across his back in an incandescent pink. It had been Professor McGonagall who had pointed it out to him, while throwing a stern look at the Marauders. But Remus could swear he saw her lips twitch as though she'd been about to smile. Teacher's can't like him either, he thought.

It had been safe for a few nights now. The last conflict between the boys seemed to have ended the prank streak.

Remus remembered he, Siri and Jamie had walked out of the Hall to find Snape with his mates crowded around him. They had walked over out of curiosity and had been horrified to find Peter kneeling on the ground before Snape, kissing his shoes!

Sirius had gone over and grabbed Peter off the ground and almost flung him to the side in anger while James had gone up to Snape and said, "What did you do to him?". Remus hated the thought of the look that had passed across Snape's face. It was as though he'd received and Order of Merlin, first class. He'd said, "Oh, but I only threatened to hex him. He begged me not to, so this is all in his own free will" and he'd swept off down to the dungeons. Peter had apologized profusely.

Sirius and James had been very mad with him, saying things such as, 'Don't have a clue why you were put in Gryffindor' and 'aren't Gryffindor's meant to be brave or something'. Remus felt slightly sorry for Peter, but also felt it had been very cowardly. No matter how scared he'd ever be, he knew he'd never sink that low for mercy.

The next day, the Great Hall had all been given a great show to laugh at. Siri and Jamie had somehow slipped something into Snape's drink and as he'd got up to leave the Hall, he'd put on a great performance. The entire Hall of people were in stitches as they watched Snape attempting to leave. Every fifth step he took, he twirled twice on the spot and called out, 'yipee'. It was hilarious! The only thing that he was able to do to quicken his escape from the Hall had been to take the longest strides he could before the fifth step. That looked almost worse and everyone in the Hall laughed and pointed at him until his voice had died off in the distance a minute or so after he'd left through the doors.

Remus thought over all this as he lay on the shredded couch in the Shrieking Shack, waiting for his lycanthropy to devour him. Then for his friends. He couldn't wait to run with the dog.

He stared up to the cracked ceiling as a blinding pain shot through his legs and traveled upwards, curving his spine and snapping the bones into a different pattern. He felt himself detach from his body and consciousness as the wolf came into play. ,--,--,--,--,--,--, 


	8. Christmas Alone

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of Harry Potter, they belong to JK Rowling, as we all know lol. 

**NOTE TO ALL READERS**:  
Guys, this chapter is the reason I started writing my story in the first place, I really hope you like it. It was my first idea for a story, lol. I have to say, after this chapter, my story may get a little darker, but it still will be about the cute ways of Sirius and Remus. In the chapter where they play truth or dare, Remus' reluctance to play (because of Phoebe Fucirel) was not just some random piece of information thrown in, so bear it in mind after the next couple of chapters. It may be important. The drama they have to go through is what is going to bring a certain two people closer together. I hope you all enjoy my next chapters. I hope you guys don't mind songfics, but I couldn't resist including two songs in this... Thank you for reading!

_Elfeh_: I'm glad you liked my chapter 6. I'm sorry that chapter 7 was not as funny. I'm trying to vary it lol, some of it in fun, some soppy and I'm afraid there is some serious stuff coming up. I hope it's all balanced. Thank you for continuing to review my story. It was kind of you to offer help on my story, maybe my next attempt i'll be sending you an e-mail. -hugz you- I think for this one, I'd rather try it on my own, since it's my first lol. Well, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the rest of my story :)

_Apus-Equuleus_: I owe you a big thank you! I had no idea that I wasn't accepting annonymous reviewers, it defintiely wasn't intentional. I think I've changed my setting now lol. I should read things more and perhaps I'd notice lol. Thank you for your suggestions for paragraphs. I think perhaps from chapter nine, my paragaphs probably do shorten in length anyway as I get more into my story than the descriptive parts. Hope you like my next chapter. As for how Sirius finally realises he likes Remus, I'm afraid it will be a little darker than your fun suggestion, sorry lol, I got my evil on. Hope you enjoy it anyway. xxx.

_Kilikapele_: Lol, you have no idea how tempted I was to let Sirius and Remus kiss in that chapter... However, I think when they eventually do, the emotion behind it will now be stronger, so I hope you don't mind waiting too much, I think it will be worth it. Thank you for reviewing. :D

_Audrey G. Black_: Well Isa, I'm glad you are following my story still, I hope you enjoy my next chapters. Thanks for the reviews D

_Moony-38_: I'm glad you are enjoying my story so far, I only hope the rest does no disappoint lol. Thank you for reviewing again XX -mwah-

Chapter 8: Christmas Alone

Throughout December, teachers seemed to want to mob the students with as much homework in the lead up to the Christmas holidays as possible. Classes had been twice more taxing than normal. Just as it had seemed Professor Reficul's hatred of Remus had begun to wane, the arrival of the upcoming break had seemed to jog his memory into making Remus suffer as much as possible before he could have the chance to enjoy the holiday. He had definitely been acting with additional sourness toward Remus than towards any other student. He'd been giving Remy a really hard time, breathing down his neck and causing him to muck up potions through nervousness, only to take a myriad of points from Gryffindor for doing so.

Everyone had been exhilarated when the term finally ended and exhaustion suppressed itself as the students partied late into the night. Most of them were going to leave in the morning and Remus had been elated to find that he was going to be alone, all through the Christmas break with Sirius. James's family were going on holiday and Peter was going home. Remus's parent's had sent a letter to him telling him they were too busy to have him stay over. Sirius had been invited on holiday with the Potters, but he'd refused, to stay with Remus. Peter could have done it instead, but the Marauders had decided it was best for Sirius to stay with Remy for the full moon because a dog was much more capable of handling a wolf than a rat was. Only four Gryffindors all in were staying at Hogwarts over the break. Pity for Remus that that included Melanie Brown and her friend. Remus had been happy to witness, though, Sirius had tried to convince her to go home to her family, but she had insisted on having this quality time with Sirius.

He and Sirius had been having hundreds of snow fights, and Remus was immensely enjoying the time alone with him. It made him want him even more, though. And his attention had been divided unfairly towards that cow of a girl, Melanie. She'd been stealing Sirius away all the time. Every time he and Sirius were having an amazing time together, she would surface her damned face. She'd lead Sirius away. She'd get to spend that important time with him instead. Bitch. And Remus knew he was being incredibly selfish all the way. But even now, he found it hard to feel any nice thoughts about the girl. Now, as she had just, yet again, dragged Sirius away from his world. As she had led him through the portrait hole and caused him to disappear from the Common Room.

It was Christmas Eve and Remus had been playing a card game that Sirius had made up and had been having a great time with him. Now, he looked around the Common Room. Mel's friend sat by the fire and nobody else dwelled in the tower room. It was weird how it hadn't felt this empty when Sirius was in it. It hadn't even felt nearly empty. But Remus knew that that was because Sirius's presence filled the entire room and beyond. His warmth seeped through tiny cracks in the walls, under doorways and through your very skin until your own heart was content and placid - or racing wildly in your chest, either way. The room felt only icy and hollow now and Remus walked over to the window closest to him and rested into the window-seat.

He stared blearily out onto the vast lawn of Hogwarts and heeded how nice things looked outside. Too nice in his moments of being ripped apart from his dream lover. From his soul-mate.

The sky was azure in colour and no clouds corrupted it's appearance. The white grounds punctuated the scene beautifully and the treetops glistened with pure snow. Looking further on, Remus saw the frozen lake and a couple of people he recognized as third year Ravenclaws were attempting to skate on it. The sky looked ready to spill snow, but lack of clouds told Remus that no more would come tonight. Perhaps tomorrow. The scene was definitely soothing to his mind and he was brought out of his bleary daze by two figures walking into view, down a path that had been trodden in the crisp snow.

Sirius and Melanie walked along. Melanie had her arm linked through Sirius's as usual and Remus felt horribly like an intruder in their togetherness, as though he were tagging along beside them, craving their attention like a dog to it's owner. They walked on until their faces were no longer distinguishable before Remus saw Sirius put out his hand to turn her to face him.

For one formidable moment, Remus was sure the couple were about to kiss. Melanie had certainly thought so too as she had leaned up to Sirius and moved closer, but Sirius had held up his hand to stop her. Remus suddenly wished he was able to hear what was being said, as a moment later, Melanie had ran back towards the castle, away from Sirius, holding her face in her hands.

Remus frowned as he watched Sirius stand still, staring at the ground it seemed, for a few minutes. His frown deepened as he watched Sirius walk to the forest edge, and then disappear into the thick mass of trees, reminding Remus horribly of ten minutes ago when he'd been torn from view by Mel. He continued staring, as though expecting Sirius to come back out any second until he heard the portrait door opening.

He swivelled around and saw Melanie run over to her friend, crying and whimpering loudly. Her friend looked very concerned and motioned her to sit beside her. Remus strained his ears to hear, but he needn't have bothered for they spoke loudly, their voices reverberating around the lonely room.

"I want to go home. Tomorrow", Melanie stated and her friend patted her back. Remus tried not to look as though he was listening.

"Why, Mel? What happened?" Her friend cried. Melanie broke down and was clearly devastated. Remus held his breath as he waited to hear her reply.

"I was gonna tell him I love him, Nat! I was gonna tell him tomorrow! Nat, he dumped me!" Melanie ended, her voice rising higher than normal. Nat brought her friend into a hug and Melanie soaked her shoulder with a sea of tears. Remus now felt bad for her. But it was hard to make out that feeling as he was overcome by a sudden rush of happiness. His heart did a powerful backflip and his stomach somersaulted gleefully. He tried his best to hold back a cry of joy, to hold back the smile that threatened to cross his face, Sirius, single again! It was proving too much of an effort, so he wisely left the Common Room and ran up the stairs to his Dorm and collapsed on his bed in uncontrollable fits of laughter. He had to smother it with his pillow as he was sure the girls down stairs would hear. He was acting like a maniac and when he stopped, it was then he realized he felt sorry for Mel.

He wondered what it would be like to actually have Sirius, only to lose him. He was still jealous of her for having had the experience of being with him, but now he let his hatred of her speed away. He wasn't sure if it was the feeling sorry for her that made it leave, or maybe it was simply that she no longer had Sirius in her clutches. And he hoped Sirius would be okay. Wonder why he went into the forest, Remus thought.

Remus lay on the bed, waiting fruitlessly for Sirius to come back. Thoughts jumped into his head occasionally about what had happened. Thinking of what Melanie had said. 'I want to go home. Tomorrow'. That's what she'd said. Her friend would go home too and Remus would have the Common Room - and more importantly, Sirius - all to himself.

He was blissfully unaware of drifting off to sleep. His reality was almost as good as his dreams. There, stood in the Common Room alone with Sirius. Things were hazy as Sirius strode up to him and kissed him hungrily on the lips. A very good kisser, Sirius was...

Sirius stood in front of him, leaning in to kiss him one minute, then shaking him the next, shouting his name. "What", Remus shouted back, equally as loud, and with that, he awoke with a start. He flinched when he found he was looking into that gorgeous face of Sirius Black, and that it was only inches away from his own.

Sirius sat back, and Remus had to use everything he had not to pull him back, and saw he had a satisfied look on his face. Remus rubbed his eyes, smiling, then stretched and yawned. Sirius couldn't keep still and Remus was very amused. He then remembered it was Christmas.

"Merry Christmas, Moony. Presents!", Sirius exclaimed and pushed Remus's pile of presents towards him on the bed. Remus laughed at his friend's behavior, but couldn't help but feel highly excited himself. This would be his first Christmas alone with Sirius, after all. He looked up at Sirius before accepting his presents and happily spotted his own present to Sirius. It was a very cool chain and it had a black stone. When you looked into the stone, you could see a dog sitting on a rock with a realistic background of stars, representing Sirius' animagus form and also his namesake, the dogstar. He had had it custom made for Sirius and he wondered if he knew how to work it yet.

He began tearing the wrapping from Peter's present first, knowing it would be the lamest. But it was the thought that counted really. Out fell a book all about werewolves. As if I don't already know enough about them, Remus thought, annoyed.

Sirius was looking at the present too and shook his head, "Yeah, I'm sure you'll enjoy reading up on how best to avoid werewolves", he said sarcastically and Remus laughed.

"So did you see what was inside the stone? On the chain..", Remus said, pointing. Sirius fiddled with the pendant in his hand, grinning and nodded.  
"It's amazing, Moony! Now, open your other presents", Sirius cried, motioning to what remained of Remus's pile. He decided to leave Sirius's until last. He grabbed his parents' present to him and found another book on werewolves, entitled 'Control the Inner Beast :Werewolves-part one'.

"Oh. Great, I'll be getting part two for my birthday", he moaned to Sirius who gave a bark of laughter. James's present was more satisfying. He'd gotten him a muggle song lyric book, that had actually been charmed to play the song on the page you opened it at. Madam Pomfrey had given him a book of simple healing charms.

Sirius's present was the only one left lying on the bed and it looked as though it was the only one that was not a book. Sirius sat forward on the bed as Remus opened it slowly, with high interest in what it could be.

Wrappers gone, and he was holding a long, thin rectangular box with a navy blue velvet covering. He looked back to Sirius curiously before opening it. He caught his breath as he saw a white-gold -Sirius would never buy him something silver, that was fatal to werewolves - kind of watch thing. It had the strap of a watch, but the black face had no numbers. Or anything, for that matter. He looked again to Sirius and found him smiling.

"Here", and Sirius scooted towards him and sat down in front of him, taking the watch out of Remus's hand, but not away from him. Sirius pressed a small button on the side of the watch face and a small screen appeared on it. It had a list, evidently of things it could do. He read down the minuscule writing. 'Alarm', 'photo-album', 'camera', 'spell dictionary' and 'radio' were the first five Remus was able to read on the long list before Sirius spoke.

"The alarm isn't to wake you up. It means a safety alarm. Here", and Sirius pulled a thin strip of metal from the case, "You leave this here with people at all times and if you're ever in danger, you just call 'alarm' to the screen and this huge noise goes off on this. It also shows a map of where you are on the receiver when you activate it. Oh, and that's how to get any of it to work. You just say the thing you want, and it comes up. See, Photo-album". Sirius called it to the screen and a split second later, the screen went blank and he called, "Marauders" and a moving picture of the four boys popped up. He gave it back to Remus and looked to him, "I put loads of pictures of us all on it for you. You just call 'next' for more of us".

"It's brilliant, Sirius!" Remus called, awed by the gift. That must have set him back some money, he thought. He put it on. Getting the hang of it, he called, "Camera" and held it up to face Sirius and it flashed.

"Hey! I wasn't ready", Sirius laughed, "Wait a minute". Remus laughed as Sirius posed sexily. He was licking his lips and looking at the camera through his eyelashes seductively, hands to the side of him on the bed, looking naughtier than ever. Remus shivered excitedly and felt himself flush as he hardened, well, more than he had already. Thank God for bed covers, he thought, but shifted slightly to make sure his erection wasn't seen. The picture took, Sirius asked to see it. But before he could, Sirius looked to his own, normal watch and said, "Damn. We need to go down. Christmas lunch. You slept late today!". Remus swatted at Sirius as he laughed at him.

He quickly showered and dressed before coming out to Sirius waiting for him. There's a change, he thought. They started to walk down to the Hall and Remus asked, "So, did Melanie go home then?"

Sirius smiled sadly, then normally and said, "Yeah. So you know then?" Remus nodded and Sirius said, "So. What was your best pressie then?" Remus laughed. He thought about saying 'you dumping Melanie yesterday' and thought better of it, "Well, don't tell Peter or Jamie, but yours was". Sirius grinned and Remus felt the strong urge to kiss him.

"Yup. Yours was mine. It's well cool. Of course, if Jamie asks, I'm gonna have to say his was my fave, but you won't tell him it's not, will you?" Sirius asked with mock-concern and Remus laughed, shaking his head.

The corridors of Hogwarts were decorated with sparkling snow that must have been enchanted to stay frozen and there were beautiful ice-sculptures everywhere. Mistletoe hung above every doorway, and Remus wished Sirius would take note of them as he longed to kiss him underneath it. But they walked through the doors together and Sirius didn't comment on it. Remus knew that even if he did notice, it wouldn't matter. It's not like Sirius would kiss his mate underneath it anyway.

Sirius must have noticed his sad look because he stopped Remus before entering the Great Hall and said, "You okay? You missing that girl"  
Remus answered honestly, "No". He was with Sirius so didn't have to miss him. He just wanted to be closer to him. "I'm fine", he added, less truthfully.  
Sirius didn't look too convinced, but Remus pulled him into the hall before he could say another word. The hall was really pretty. Icicles glistened on the walls and there were a dozen massive Christmas trees, all with live fairies buzzing happily in them. The house tables had been put aside and only one stood in the center of the Hall. All the teachers sat at the table - Remus felt Reficul's eyes bore into him, but didn't look up - and the other five students who had stayed at Hogwarts. Dumbledore stood up merrily to greet them and invite them to sit down.

The feast was amazing; there was every type of food Remus had ever loved all on the one table in mass proportion. He had helpings of nearly everything and felt very sick by the time pudding arrived. But he ate it anyway and so did Sirius. They had a great time, even if Remus did feel Reficul staring hatefully at him all through the meal. Sirius wanted to work off the stuffed feeling straight after and suggested a snow fight. He agreed reluctantly and felt as though he was waddling when he ran after Sirius. I don't know where he gets the energy after something like that, Remus thought as he tried to keep up with him.

Sirius stopped a short distance from the Gamekeeper's hut and scooped snow into his hands. Remus didn't have enough time to dodge it and it hit him squarely on the forehead. He retaliated as quickly as he could and they were soon consumed in their game. Remus's hands were numb from coldness, but he gave as good as he got anyway. It was fair to say Sirius was winning. He had a better aim than Remus. He definitely wasn't feeling sluggish any more and was satisfied with himself when he hit Sirius on the face. He was surprised when Sirius rugby-tackled him to the ground in reprisal. He felt Sirius's comforting weight upon him as he landed and they looked momentarily into one another's eyes before Sirius rolled over onto his side. Remus missed the feeling straight away.

They lay and spoke for about ten minutes. Remus knew he should have probably felt frostbitten, but he could only feel warmth. That's all one could ever feel when they lay next to a certain Sirius Black and were securing his entire attention to themselves. He looked to the boy beside him and felt as though he had entered a scene from heaven. Sirius looked completely angelic; his inky black hair fanned out to contrast magnificently with the unblemished pearly-white snow. His cheeks were lightly flushed and they complimented his full strawberry lips wonderfully. His eyes seemed more blue and piercing than they'd ever been against the background and Remus wanted to hug him, kiss him, feel their bodies entwine and blur until they became one. He'd have done anything for one hug at that moment. He was staring so intently at the features, yet he did not see them slightly contort in concern until it reached Siri's eyes. He blinked and looked away quickly, hoping his cheeks were too frost-nipped to blush any more.

"Are you sure you're okay? You're thinking about her aren't you?" Sirius asked and Remus was relieved. He breathed out, noticing he had been holding his breath and looked back to Sirius.

"Yes", was his simple reply. Sirius looked up to the sky for a moment and his face brightened suddenly. He sat up, then stood and held out a hand to help Remus up too. He accepted and was hauled to his feet by potent arms. He looked questioningly to Sirius and Siri laughed in return.

"You trust me?" Sirius asked him. He nodded his head and didn't doubt for a second that it was the wrong choice. Sirius smiled and said, "I wanna show you something in the woods. It's quite deep in. You wanna go?"

"Yes", Remus answered. As if he could have said no..Sirius knew that Remus didn't really like going into the woods unless he was in wolf form when he did, but Remus did trust him and felt curious about what Sirius wanted to show him anyway. So he willingly followed Sirius over to the forest edge.

Sirius stopped and turned to face him, "Oh. We might be back late. Better take the invisibility cloak if we don't want caught" and he nodded in consent. Sirius whipped out his wand and muttered the summoning charm and a moment later, the cloak fell into his outstretched hand with precision. Sirius, without another word, stepped into the forest and Remus pursued him.

Sirius sauntered on, leading Remy deeper and deeper into the forest. After about half an hour of walking, Sirius stopped in a slight clearing with quite a steep drop. Looking around, Remus saw only trees, an old chest, and at the bottom of the drop, a small stream and nothing else particularly remarkable.

Remus looked in puzzlement to Sirius, "Why have we stopped?" Sirius only pointed behind Remus. He turned around and the only thing Sirius could have been talking about was the old chest. It was in front of a very large tree and was embedded into the ground, it's right corner dipping solidly into the forest floor and moss had overgrown around it. He looked back to Sirius, again quizzically and Sirius rolled his eyes and said, "Open it!"

Remus went over and cautiously lifted the heavy lid. It was completely empty and he heard Sirius laughing behind him. Was this some sort of a joke? He looked accusingly to Sirius, but Sirius knelt down beside him and pulled his wand back out. Remus watched, intrigued as Sirius tapped the bottom right-hand corner of the trunk with it. He tapped three more times before a hidden compartment popped out, or at least it was a block of metal with a keyhole in the center of it.

"You can't open it with a spell", Sirius said, nodding to it before pulling out a penknife. Remus understood straight away. Sirius's penknife was able to undo any lock or untie any knot. It had come in handy for getting into certain storage cupboards and rooms at Hogwarts that they weren't supposed to be in. Sirius turned the knife in the keyhole, they heard a click and Sirius pulled out the knife and pushed the secret compartment back in so you would never have known it was there. "Open it now", Sirius said.

Remus suspiciously held out his hand over the lid and as he was about to lift it, he felt Sirius's hand around his wrist, stopping him. He looked to Sirius and saw he was looking darkly to him.

"Remy, you can't tell a soul about this. Not even James", wow, James and Sirius didn't share everything after all, yet Remus was getting to see this, "I come here when things get a bit too much". Remus looked for a long moment to Sirius. This was a revelation. He'd always thought Sirius was always rather inhumanly composed, now he was finding that Sirius had a place he came when he was upset. He was probably here yesterday when I saw him disappearing into he woods, Remus thought. He nodded his head and Sirius's face broke into a stunning grin.

"Good. Right. I brought this here in first year. The trunk. This seemed the perfect place to put it when Dumbledore said it was a forbidden forest. I came here with it on the first night. Right, you can open it now". Remus was now dying to see what was inside now. He pushed the lid up quickly and peered inside.  
He was tremendously shocked to find a ladder leading down to a room ten feet below. His mouth fell open and Sirius laughed at his reaction. He nudged Remus over slightly and stepped into the trunk and began climbing down the ladder. Remus continued to watch, still openmouthed as Sirius reached the floor below and called up, "You coming down or what?"

Remus hesitated before copying Sirius and descending the ladder. It lead him to a bedroom below and he stared at his surroundings. Wow. The room was coloured with black paint, yet somehow it appeared bright. Posters of Sirius's favourite wizarding rock groups took up the entire right wall and pictures of the Marauders and other people Sirius knew covered a large patch on another wall to his left above an immense King-sized bed with thick black covers that were pristinely spread. The bed looked really inviting. A warm, but dim light filled the room and Remus was finding it hard to see why it looked bright to him. There was a door at the far wall and thick messy writing saying 'bathroom' was displayed across it's width. Beside the door, there was a fridge and near the center of the poster-covered wall was a large music system that Remus knew was magic because electrical things didn't work at Hogwarts.

He stared around, astonished before Sirius told him to sit on the bed. He watched Sirius walking over to the fridge and taking out some Firewhisky. He gave Remus a bottle of it and walked over to turn on some music. Sirius put on the radio on it and fiddled around with the stations before looking up wickedly to Remus and walking over to sit beside him. Remus was shocked to hear a muggle song playing. He recognized it, but did not remember it's name. He looked to Sirius, wondering how he'd gotten a muggle radio to work, but Sirius shook his head.

"I know what you're thinking. But it is a wizard radio channel. See, it plays muggle songs. But not just from now. It plays songs they have from the future. It plays up to twenty-five years ahead of current muggle music. So, that's up to 1999. Cool, eh?" Sirius explained and Remus nodded. Very cool.

He heard the radio presenter announce that they were picking songs from various years that night and heard him say that the next song would be from 1983, nine years away and it was called 'True' by somebody called Spandau Ballet or something. It was strange to think that the song probably hadn't been written yet. Then they started drinking. For Remus, the music started to blend into the background and Sirius and him were the only people alive. Now and then he'd hear the titles of the songs such as, 'Stand By Me' or 'The One And Only'.

Remus realized he was getting really tipsy, but did not notice Sirius was too until a slow song began playing. It was from 1998 and Sirius stood up at the beginning at the guitar riff and extended his hand to Remus and in a formal accent said, "Would you do me the honour of dancing with me?"

Remus caught his breath and accepted his firm hand. This may be a joke for Sirius, but it certainly wasn't for him. He'd been wanting to dance with Sirius since the Halloween disco. He shivered as Sirius pulled him close and pulled Remus's arms up around his neck. God that felt so good to be this close and intimate. Even if Sirius was laughing softly. A shiver travelled down his spine as Sirius's hands traced his back and rested on his hips. He gasped as Sirius pulled his body close into his own and Remus's breathing became detached. His head rested on Sirius's shoulder and they swayed slowly on the spot, Remus vaguely hearing the words to the beautiful song, _'I need you in my arms, need you to hold, you're my world, my heart, my soul. And if you ever leave, well baby it would take away everything..._'

Such beautiful words. Such a perfect moment. Sirius had his chin rested against his neck and Remus delighted in his skin pressed against such a sensitive part of his own. He was dizzy; not from the drink, not from the revolving, from love. _'How do I breathe without you, if you ever go? How do I ever, ever survive..._' I would die without you, Remus thought as he was intoxicated by the atmosphere and the very scent of Sirius. It was strong, yet somehow sensitive, just like him and imitated some sort of naughtiness that Remus didn't understand how. How could something smell naughty? His erection was dangerously close to Sirius and through his euphoria, he desperately tried to avoid brushing that part of himself against Sirius. He couldn't help but feel calm and protected in Sirius's arms and he was almost crying from the feeling. And Sirius was amazing at dancing. Had he not watched him drinking, he wouldn't have known he had from the way he took lead. Of course, Remus didn't object at all to filling the ladies part. He was content with everything then. Nothing could bother him. _'Oh I, baby I don't know what I would do, I'd be lost if I lost you..._' How true. He knew that had he not been drinking, he maybe would have fainted again. He was glad for that, that he wasn't completely sober.

He could feel Sirius's sweet hot breath delicately caress his exposed neck and his skin tingled under the sensation. Though Sirius continued to chuckle quietly, Remus felt utterly blissful. God, if this carried on he'd surely blurt out his feelings for Sirius. But he felt as though he'd been left to sink deep down to the bottom of a freezing cold ocean, like he had been stung by a thousand bees, like he'd just had one of the icicles in Hogwarts plunged into his heart when Sirius released him. The song had ended and he watched, wanting more as Sirius dropped back onto the bed, laughing richly.

Remus felt his knees weak in the absence of Sirius's body against his own. He collapsed down beside him and controlled the overwhelming need to pull Sirius back towards him and kiss him. But he knew he'd be thankful later that the song had ended, for he was sure he'd have told Sirius his feelings. Positive. But now he was too bitter against feeling that. Yet he was still blissfully happy at the same time. He was still beside Sirius. Still talking to him. Still capturing his full attention. Heck, he was on the same bed as him.

They talked for about an hour on the bed, words becoming more and more slurred, steadily getting more and more drunk until , inevitably, they fell asleep, bodies inches apart.

When Remus woke up, he heard a man saying 'Next up, a song from 1998. We've had one already. This one's..' He looked around the unfamiliar surroundings and he desperately tried to remember where he was and see who was speaking. Then, when he saw the peaceful form of Sirius crashed out beside him, and he instantly calmed and remembered everything. And that the voice was the man on the radio. He watched Sirius and heard the music beginning. It sounded nice. Perfect.

_'I could stay awake just to hear you breathing, Watch you smile while you are sleeping,  
While you're far away and dreaming,_

As if by magic, Sirius smiled in his sleep and Remus longed to touch him. How fitting the song was...

_'I could spend my life in this sweet surrender,  
I could stay lost in this moment forever,  
When every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure,_

He was lost in the moment. This song was meant for this moment. He was sure of that.

_'Don't wanna close my eyes,  
I don't wanna fall asleep,  
Cause I'd miss you babe,  
And I don't wanna miss a thing,_

Not one thing, Sirius, he agreed silently with the song.

_'Cause even when I dream of you,  
The sweetest dream would never do,  
I'd still miss you baby,  
And I don't wanna miss a thing._

God, how many dreams had he had of Sirius, yet woke up wishing it was real? Maybe this song would be written for him...

_'Lying close to you,  
Feeling your heart beating,  
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming,  
Wondering if it's me you're seeing,_

He placed his hand on Sirius's heart, feeling a need to comply with the words as they continued to ring true.

_'Then I kiss your eyes,  
And thank God we're together,  
I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever,  
Forever and ever..'_

Well, he didn't dare actually kiss his eyes in case Sirius woke up, so he kissed his finger and traced Sirius's eyelid gently instead.

He listened carefully to each of the words and he smiled at the end and waited for the title and artist to be repeated. Aerosmith. 'I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing'. He'd remember that song for the rest of his life. He lifted Sirius's hand and looked at his wristwatch, noticing with a gasp that it was past one o'clock in the morning. That was the best Christmas he'd ever had. But they needed to go back to the castle now.

He reluctantly stirred Sirius from his sleep. It was very cute the way Sirius mumbled nonsense before awaking properly.

"Mhmm. What time is it, Moony?" He asked, stretching and yawning widely. The action exposed his mouth to Remus and he cleared his throat and looked away saying, "It's umm", and he lifted Sirius's wrist, "Twenty past one".

Sirius laughed and slapped a hand to his forehead, then winced in pain as he evidently had the beginnings of a hangover already, "Oh. Yeah. I'm wearing a watch".

Remus laughed and they got themselves ready to go and Sirius tidied up a bit and turned the radio off before they climbed from the trunk, taking the invisibility cloak with them.

The cold night air nipped Remus's face, definitely snow tomorrow, and he tremored slightly before he turned to wait for Sirius to follow him out.

"Do you not need to lock that compartment thingy again for it to go back to normal?" He asked as Sirius stepped away from it after closing it. He found annoyance in the fact that the dark coated Sirius's face and he could not make it out well. He wanted out of the forest to see him again.

"Nah. Goes normal once nobody's in it. C'mon. We'd better go. Stay close, okay?" Sirius said and Remus wanted to ask him to keep talking. It was soothing. He did as Sirius asked and was happy when Sirius wrapped his hand around his wrist and continued to walk. Sirius said, "So we don't get split up" when he did it and Remus felt warmth pass through him. Sirius was here to protect him. He knew had he been here with anyone else, he'd have been panicking, but he could only feel completely calm and secure under Sirius's grip. They walked on, taking longer than it had earlier now that they couldn't see as well in the darkness, even with their wand tips alight and Remus drifted after him, being lead all the way by Sirius, not truly caring where he was going. When Sirius walked-he walked, when Sirius paused-he paused, when Sirius turned-he turned.

When they reached the edge of the forest, Sirius stopped and, disappointingly to Remus, let go of his wrist. Remus looked up to the sky and saw the First Quarter Moon hanging low in the sky, half covered clouds and his breath formed a cloud in front of him. It would be full moon on the 29th. He looked at Sirius and was mesmerized by the way the moonlight danced across Sirius's hair in pools of beauty. Sirius pulled him over again to stand beside him and threw the invisibility cloak over them. When they reached they castle they, silently, made their way to their Common Room. They chose not to take the cloak off until they were in the safety of their Dorm. Remus was comfortable pressed up against Sirius and didn't look forward to when they'd part again.

They walked in and closed the door, throwing the cloak off over onto Sirius's bed. They walked forwards together and before Remus could turn towards his bed, Sirius took him by the arm and faced him once again. He'd used slightly too much force, so Remus was pressed close to him, facing him. Sirius didn't move back and neither did Remus. He'd grown fond of being this close and any chance at it was great and very welcome. Remus looked into those deep blue eyes and lust rose up in him more than it ever had before. His erection pressed painfully against his clothes, begging for freedom that it wouldn't get. Yet Sirius was still oblivious to the friction he was causing Remus. In all seriousness, he looked down at Remus.

"Remember, not a word to anybody about that room", Remus nodded, still stuck on Siri's eyes and Sirius grinned reminiscently, "Can't wait to tell Jamie we danced -"

Sirius was unable to continue his words. Remus had cut them off. Lost in the moment, Remus had pulled Sirius's head down towards his own and brushed his lips against Sirius's silky sweet ones. He realized straight away what was wrong. Sirius did not melt into his touch. He did not kiss back. Remus felt his world crumble to pieces as he watched the shock flash in Sirius's eyes. As he watched him recoil in horror.

He felt dead, frozen, shocked himself, paralyzed and ashamed all in one as Sirius backed away from him, mouth open in shock. Remus made to step forward, to say something, but Sirius flinched backwards and he stopped himself quickly. They both stared at each other, both shocked that Remus had done that. Remus couldn't believe he'd let himself do it. He had to say something..Anything..

"Oh my God, Sirius. I'm so sorry. I - " he began, hoping against hope that Sirius would pull one of his miraculous recovery stunts and grin. It didn't happen and Sirius cut off his words and his voice shook with undiluted trauma etched there on his face.

"No!...no...that's okay..er..I'm..I'm gonna forget this. Just a drunken incident, okay?" Sirius said, his body now shaking, his mouth still parted in shock.  
"But- " he began, but Sirius put his hand up and shook his head, so Remus knew he wouldn't be allowed to protest. They both knew perfectly well that they'd sobered plenty during their sleep and held full comprehension over what they did, but Sirius clearly wasn't going to acknowledge that.

"I'm - um - going to bed. Good night", Sirius said with a tone that told Remus it was not up for any more discussion. So he silently watched as Sirius stepped away from him and it then suddenly hit him that he could no longer stare at Sirius and he quickly looked away. He rushed over to his own bed and hurriedly changed into his pyjamas, his mind numb. He slipped, trembling uncontrollably into bed and Sirius could be heard across the room entering his own bed. Not one other single word passed between them.

Remus lay there, terrified, but too numb to do a single thing. He just had to listen as Sirius's breathing became slow and regular before he allowed the full extent of it to hit him. It was like a bucket of ice had been thrown over him, he was so cold, as he thought things over with panic. Panic gave way to an overwhelming sense of despair, anguish and misery, taking over him. I've just ruined it. Sirius'll never look at me the same way. God, what if he wakes up and decides never to speak to me again, he thought as he was sure he'd lost the best mate he'd ever had. Silently, tears rolled down his cheeks and each new tear chased the one before until his pillow was soaked to the touch with his pain. I'll kill myself, was even a thought he had, but then he knew Sirius would blame himself for it and he didn't want that. Also, he had the tiniest, briefest infinitesimal hope that he and Sirius could get back to normal and be okay. He clung to the hope like a maniac and continued to cry for hours until sheer exhaustion overcame him, probably from all the crying and worrying, and forced him into a restless slumber where he tossed and turned wildly in his bed. He certainly didn't have dreams of Sirius kissing him.  
,--,--,--,--,--,--,


	9. So Now You Know

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of Harry Potter, they belong to JK Rowling, as we all know lol. 

Chapter 9 : So Now You Know

Remus awoke with a violent shake and sat up quickly. He looked around himself, panicked and then calmed as his eyes adjusted to the thin beam of moonlight that settled across the room from the window beside him. The dormitory room. His room. Was that some nightmare he'd been having? Surely that hadn't really happened? But he knew it had.

Remus wiped the back of his shaking hand over his cold and dampened brow. He weakly loosened his legs from the tangle of his covers and placed them gingerly on the cold floor. He stood up and for a whole moment he was steady. The next he was sitting back down on the bed, clutching his throbbing head in his hands, kneading his forehead with his knuckles. A dizzy whirl of darkness swooped over him and he swayed on the bed, knocking the room into a frenzied blur before him. His vision rocked like a rowing boat tossed on a storm-driven sea. Then suddenly the waves stopped crashing in his mind and things were clear again. He lowered his hands from his face and looked around. Things had sharper edges than he'd remembered. Two soft sounds drifted warily through the room. Sirius's breathing, the quietest of the two; came even and slow. His own, the other sound; less rhythmic. He paced his breathing and found the strength in his legs once more to stand.

His legs shook ever so slightly, then found a steady stance. He held onto his bedpost just to make sure, but let go after finding his legs strong enough to hold without support. He put his wand in his pyjama pocket and walked quietly over to Sirius's bed, being careful not to stir him or make any noise.

Sirius's face was dipped in a small particle of moonlight and shadows chased around his face. He would not be up for hours yet. It must have been about 5.00 am. Remus knew he couldn't have been asleep for more than half an hour. He knew he should probably have gone back to bed, but also that he'd never have gotten to sleep anyway. So he stood and watched Sirius, thinking..

Everything's gonna be different now, he thought. Me and Sirius'll never be the same. Has Sirius realized yet that it's him I love? What will he do when he does? Will he keep pretending that it never happened? That I never kissed him?

He thought how he still had up until New Year to spend alone with Sirius. Would they be able to stay together for so long? The full Moon was approaching too. Was he to spend that alone after all? Sirius was never going to stay with him now..Remus gasped as Sirius shifted slightly in his sleep and he felt that that was his cue to leave.

He walked over to the door and slipped through it. He stepped carefully down the stone staircase, cold against his bare feet. He considered going back for his slippers, but thought it too risky.

He entered the Common Room, empty but warm from it's still blazing fire. He rested himself into a seat by the fire and found his feet were still cold. So he got up and went to a small cupboard beside a window seat. He opened it and pulled out a thick yellow woolen blanket. As he was about to close the cupboard door, something shiny from the corner of his eye caught his attention. He looked back and saw that firelight reflected on the side of a shallow stone basin with carvings of runes and symbols around it's edge. He immediately recognised it as the Penseive Dumbledore had given him a loan of in his first year of Hogwarts. He pulled it out, sat it on the floor to close the cupboard then picked it back up and walked towards his seat.

He sat the bowl on the table beside him as he adjusted himself comfortably in his seat, cross-legged, the large blanket wrapped cosily around him. He reached over to the bowl and sat it steadily on his legs before taking out his wand.

Dumbledore had given it to him so that he would not remember his more painful transformations. He had been able to take these memories from his mind and place them in the basin. He hadn't used it since his friends had become animagi though, because no longer did he need the memories removed. But the penseive had another use. The use he was about to use it for now.

Remus placed his wand to his temple and muttered a spell instinctively. When he pulled the wand from his head, attached was a wiry silken thread-like substance that he placed carefully into the basin. It was a memory. The penseive would allow him to revisit this memory. This was the other purpose. Any memory he wished to see again, he just had to place it in the basin and view it at his leisure. It was a good way of remembering it more clearly. Certainly more vividly.

He watched as the silvery memory spread across the basin and began spinning inside it. He prodded it gently with his wand and the surface began to swirl even faster until it became transparent like glass. Through it, he saw, as though looking through a circular window in the ceiling, two small figures standing outside a building.

He moved his face towards the surface, then without any thought, plunged his face straight into the substance. The Common Room lurched from view and Remus felt the familiar feeling of being thrown headfirst into the basin. He was pulled into a dark, icy-cold whirlpool and he spun until suddenly he was standing. Beside the building. Beside the figures.

One was a coy-looking woman of about 35. Though she was dressed older, somehow. She had golden hair, pulled loosely back from her face in a slack braid. She looked very flustered and Remus looked up and saw a taxi. The driver was looking grumpily at the woman. She wasn't tall, but loomed a good two feet over the other figure.

It was a small boy with hazel coloured hair that hung over his forehead moodily. He looked frightened and was staring at the woman with wide, pleading eyes, brimming with tears. The woman pulled her light brown shawl back over her shoulder where it had slipped and placed her hand on the boy's arm. Remus stepped closer to hear what the woman said. "You'll be okay on your own? I would come but..", began the woman. It was Remus's mother. The boy, a younger version of Remus, looked up to her and nodded.

"It's okay, mum. You're in a hurry, I know", he said in a small voice and the woman smiled at him sadly. She embraced him and caressed his face with her hand before turning and entering the taxi without another word. Remus watched his younger version wipe a tear from his cheek and wave after his mother. And he noticed, sadly, that his mother did not even turn in her seat to wave back. She looked straight on until she was out of sight. Young Remus just stood there for a moment and the real Remus heard him whisper, almost inaudibly, "Bye, mum".

He followed himself into the large building that was the trainstation. This was the memory of his first day of Hogwarts. It wouldn't be long before he met.  
He saw himself walking past the platforms, looking around at signs and other travellers. He smiled as his younger version frowned as he stepped closer between platforms nine and ten and then around him again. Remus laughed softly to himself as his memory asked a tall man in a brown overcoat how to get onto platform 9 and 3 quarters. The man was looking good-humouredly at him and had burst out laughing, causing the young Remus to flinch. The man had leaned down and said, "You're not the first one to ask me that y'know! Had several young 'un's coming up to me, asking that. There ain't no such platform! Is it from some sort of kiddie programme? I think one kid said it was called 'Hoggots'?" The real Remus burst out laughing at the thought of it. Young Remus was just shaking his head, telling the man he was sorry for wasting his time. The man had looked rather disappointed at not being told about 'Hoggots' and walked away, smile faded from his face. Excitement in Remus peaked as the moment approached..

"Hoggots! Great one!" Came a pleasant voice that clearly made young Remus jump. The older version just smiled adoringly as a figure stepped out from the side of the barrier between the platforms. He was just a little taller than Remus's mother had been and was bent double in laughter. He looked to see his own reaction and saw that he was staring, open-mouthed at the youngster before him and a strange look had glossed over his eyes. The boy stopped laughing and stood up properly and extended a hand to Remus. The young Remus stared up into the brightest blue eyes and across the tanned face, up beyond shining raven-black hair and travelled back down to the outstretched hand. Remus smiled again to himself as he identified the look in his younger version's eyes. Attraction. And his younger self flinched again as the handsome boy spoke with that rapturous voice.

"Sirius Black", he introduced himself, smiling with that familiar gorgeous wickedness. Ah, even then Sirius could have charmed the birds from the trees. Remus saw his young self flush and heard him stumble out his own name, "Remus Lupin". Sirius gave a bark of laughter and he saw his tensed self relaxing at the sound.

"I've been telling people all morning to go up to that man and ask him how to get there", Sirius explained. Young Remus laughed now, but flushed again as Sirius put his arm over his shoulder, "I know you've like, just met me and everything..but do you trust me?" Sirius asked happily. Remus' smile widened as his younger version nodded eagerly. Before he'd met Sirius, he'd always been wary of people. He'd never fully trusted a single person. Yet here, after just meeting Sirius, he was honestly telling him he trusted him. Well, Sirius seemed wickedly dangerous in one sense, but somehow completely safe to be with. He gave off an air of protection. Then that bark of laughter came again.

"Well, you shouldn't really trust somebody you just met..I could be some weirdo..but oh well. Glad you do. Right, some people say to go at a run...we'll just walk it I think", young Sirius said as he lead Remus towards the barrier, "Right. Don't stop walking, okay?" Young Remus nodded and closed his eyes as Sirius guided him through the barrier and onto the platform. The present Remus followed.

"That was amazing!" Young Remus exclaimed as he stared around him and back to the barrier. He scanned the place excitedly and looked back to Sirius, "Thanks. I thought I'd never get on the train". But Sirius waved away the thanks benignly and let go of Remus. Remus saw his past self looking confused and he knew exactly what he had been thinking. He hadn't known then why he felt at a loss when Sirius no longer touched him. He had already sought comfort in Sirius at such a short space of knowing him. This had been the beginnings of his love for him. True that, by the end of that day, he'd loved him more than he'd ever loved a single person in his life.

Remus laughed as his young version jumped yet again when Sirius led him by the arm saying, "C'mon, you've got to meet Jamie!". Then Remus felt a twinge of jealousy. Sirius and James had known each other since they could remember, but Remus had missed eleven years of Sirius's life. But both Remus's followed Sirius through the wizards crowded on the platform.

His smaller version almost bumped into Sirius as he stopped suddenly before a crowd of young wizards. Most of them looked like they were going into first year, but a few older wizards were scattered amongst them. Sirius cleared his throat loudly and people at the back turned around, progressing until the whole huddle were looking. And Remus noticed that his young form was confused again. He knew that he had been puzzled at why he was feeling overly jealous at the way the people were looking at Sirius. They were all raking him over with fervor and even the older version felt jealous again. Then from the center of the crowd came a young James.

"Sirius, where've you been? Been looking for you everywhere!", James said, embracing Sirius like a brother. Again, jealousy followed. And the crowd also looked jealous. Yes, Sirius was the most stunning person in view. Hard not to be jealous of anyone who got to hug him. Through the hug, James spotted Remus standing sheepishly behind Sirius. They parted, Sirius saying, "Just been around", then turning and pulling young Remus forward to meet James.

"So who's this, Siri?" James asked, smiling at Remus. Remus watched as his past self reached out a hand, taken by James's and said, "Remus Lupin. You're..Jamie?" He was not as shy as he had been with Sirius. He never had been all that shy, it had just been with Sirius. It had always just been with Sirius, just like the way he couldn't change his clothes in front of him.

"Yep. James Potter. So, Sirius..can I talk to ya a sec?" Remus looked to Sirius and he'd nodded and told Remus they'd be back in a second.  
Remus took a great interest in this. Obviously James must have been about to ask who he was. But he had never known what he'd said because Jamie had taken Sirius away to talk. It was a nice privilege of the Penseive, the one where he was able to wander anywhere in a certain perimeter of the memories. He could hear things that he couldn't hear when he was living the moment because of this, as long as the people talking were close enough to where he was in the memory. So he would hear what Siri and Jamie were saying. He followed them through, leaving the young version behind, staring forlornly at the ground.  
James stopped with Sirius and said, "Remus?" Remus looked at Sirius and saw he was grinning and nodding.

"Yep. He's one of us. I know it. I knew it as soon as I saw him. I dunno what it is, he don't seem the prankster we are or anything, just one of us somehow.." Remus smiled. Sirius had known they were meant to be friends.

"How long have you known him", James asked, his brow furrowed deep in annoyance.

Sirius was undaunted and shrugged, "About five, ten minutes..?" And James threw his hands in the air indignantly.

"Sirius! And in those ten minutes, what the hell had you convinced that he was 'one of us'?" Sirius's face turned blank with seriousness. He even looked a little angry at James for the annoyed tones he'd used.

"Jamie, you'll have to just trust me. I don't just think he's one of us. He is. I know it. Don't you bloody ask how. And you'll see it for yourself because he'll be hanging about with us!" Remus's jaw dropped. He'd never seen Sirius look or talk to Jamie like that. James mimicked the look as he was clearly aghast. That had obviously been the first time he'd ever done that, never mind just how long Remus had known them.

"Well!", Jamie breathed after a minute, "If you insist...I'll give him a chance". And Sirius grinned and patted him on the back. That got James grinning again and Remus saw how close they had been then too; as one grinned, the other gave in and grinned too. They walked back, Remus in tow.

The young Remus looked up as they approached and smiled widely as James patted him on the back and offered to help him get his trunk on the train. So James accepted me 'cos of Sirius, Remus thought gratefully.

Most people had gathered on the train already and the group were finding it hard to find an empty compartment. Not that nobody was offering; one look at Sirius and the people inside the compartments were beckoning them in. But the boys were refusing until they got to one where only a chubby young first year sat looking up nervously at them. They asked if it was okay and the boy told them yes, whilst going red.

The boy was Peter and this was his introduction to the group. Remus laughed as his young self blushed furiously and looked away when Sirius sat beside him. And he watched to see what Sirius would do or if he even noticed. Sirius looked curiously at him and shook his head, smiling as though he'd noticed, but figured it was nothing.

Probably put it down to imagination, Remus thought, or maybe just thought I was shy. The train ride was spent with the young boys getting to know each other. His young self would more than occasionally fall silent, but Remus noticed happily that Sirius worked to keep involving him in the conversations. It was ironic to think that if Sirius wasn't there he'd be talking anyway. It seemed strange to Remus how you could feel entirely at home and at peace with somebody like Sirius, yet feel shy at the same time. He'd always felt completely comfortable and secure with him, yet had always been embarrassed by his touch. That was the price of his attraction.

These thoughts dug into Remus's mind. It was because he was attracted to Sirius that he felt so shy. If he hadn't loved and felt the way he did about him, things could have been a lot better. The situation he faced now with Sirius would not be happening. And he'd maybe have been as close to him as James. How James managed it, he didn't know, but he did know that because he couldn't manage it, he'd ruined their friendship. Remus could see no way of him and Sirius ever being the same around one another. If only his feelings for him weren't so strong! But Remus knew that was an impossible thing to wish for. How was he going to act around Sirius now? He'd be awkward. He knew it. But if Sirius was going to pretend it never happened, or that it was the result of a Firewhisky too many, then he'd have to at least try. He only hoped that Sirius wouldn't wake up and decide he no longer wanted to be friends with a boy he knew at least fancied him.

Remus knew the journey to Hogwarts was very difficult for his young self. He knew he'd never felt so secure with any friends he'd ever had as much as he did then and that he had been terrified that he wouldn't get into the same house as them. He remembered hoping that they would not find out his secret of being a werewolf and fearing what would happen if they did. He watched as they all arrived at the castle and walked with them all as they followed Professor McGonagall to the top of the Hall and he watched his young version pay close attention to which house Sirius was placed in when he became the third person to put the hat on.

Sirius got a louder cheer than anyone as Gryffindor was called and both Remus's looked over jealously as people at the Gryffindor table leapt forward to greet him after having just gave a minor welcome to Karen Bell before him. But Karen Bell was all over him too. One moment brought a little sadness to Remus then, it was when an eleven-year-old Phoebe Fucirel had been sorted. But if Sirius didn't blame him for her death, he felt less guilty. Sirius did say that she hadn't needed to accept that dare. Remus was brought back by his own name being called. And as his younger version sat on that stool to be sorted, Remus knew that he had been begging the hat with his mind to be in Gryffindor.

When the hat called "GRYFFINDOR" after a toss up between that and Ravenclaw, Remus was very pleased to see Sirius cheering madly for him and calling him over to sit beside him at the table.

The meal was all very pleasant and he had cheered alongside Sirius for James, Peter and all the rest of the people who were placed, especially those in Gryffindor. When they were about to walk up to their Dorms, Sirius said he'd be up in a couple of hours and left, leaving young Remus to share a puzzled look with James. The older version was wiser to where Sirius was going. What was it he said? 'I brought this here in first year. The trunk. This seemed the perfect place to put it when Dumbledore said it was a forbidden forest. I came here with it on the first night' And that was what Sirius was doing now. God, he was brave back then too, Remus thought, going alone into that forest at night after just being told it was forbidden. First night here too!

They walked up and were taking in the sights before them of the famous moving staircases of Hogwarts, the moving portraits and pictures on the walls and the sheer size of it all. All first years gasped as they entered the Common room and Remus remembered loving it straight away. It was so cosy and warm and welcoming. Young Remus, James, Peter and the boy called Perry McKinnon were told which stairs to go up and they all excitedly ran up the stairs, even if it was late and they were all tired.

They all went over to their trunks that had been placed at the ends of their chosen beds and Remus saw his young self looking amazingly pleased to find Sirius' opposite to his own. They all changed into their pyjamas and sat in their comfortable beds, waiting for Sirius to return and talking about what they thought it would be like.

It wasn't too long before Sirius was bounding into the room, looking very smug with himself about something.

"Where've you been and what are you so pleased about?" James asked bemusedly from his bed. Sirius grinned, his eyes sparkling madly.

"Know how that greasy looking boy that tripped Peter up coming off the train?" Sirius asked. The others nodded. Snape had tripped him up and laughed through giving an unconvincing 'oops'. He had disappeared into the crowd before they could do a thing.

"Sirius! You might have told me you were gonna get him back! You know I'd have wanted to help! What did you do??" James began indignant then excitement overcoming him at the thought of what Sirius had done. Sirius walked over to his bed, all eyes on him and retrieved his pyjamas from his trunk before saying a word.

"Well, let's just say that he trailed grease all the way down to the Hospital Wing..." Sirius said and they all burst out laughing. Peter exclaimed a strange sound and they turned to him while he turned brick red again.

"Oh..it's just, you don't want to make enemies on the first day do you? And you'll get into trouble", Peter said unsurely.

"1, Peter, he made an enemy of himself. 2, what's a little trouble? 3, well, you should have seen him slipping in his own grease. Kinda disgusting actually..." Sirius replied and Jamie nodded in agreement while Remus frowned. He didn't much want trouble either.

"Wish I could have seen that..." Jamie said. Remus watched his younger self's eyes pop as Sirius began to change into his pyjamas.

"In a way, yes, you would wanna see it..have to have a strong stomach though", Sirius said, standing topless. Yes..strong, tanned stomach... Under the covers, Remus remembered what had been going on in his bed, he had had his first real arousal problem around Sirius, or ever, really. His first erection. He was twisting his hands in his sheets and his forehead was white with the strain of trying not to moan, gutteral, from the back of his throat. Whilst the young one looked away, the older Remus had the pleasure of looking on for however long he wished.

Looking around, Remus saw that the other three had not bothered to turn away and were watching him, open-mouthed. Only James seemed to be controlling himself, but then, Remus guessed he'd seen Sirius get ready before. He felt rather bad for his young self, not being able to look and all, and also because he'd been so confused that day about his feelings.

Once Sirius was changed and was in bed, normal conversation picked up again. That night, the five boys stayed up chatting all night and getting to know one another better. Remus remembered how knackered they had all been in the morning for first lessons. But it had been worth it, the more they talked, the more happy Remus had felt.

Remus smiled now, thinking of how this was the way he liked things, dreading going back to the nightmare of a reality in which it was even possible that Sirius might not speak to him again. He would liked to have stayed in that memory forever--or any other memory before Christmas for that matter--but he knew he had to go back. With one last long stare at Sirius, he left the memory.

Remus sat once more in the Gryffindor Common Room. He placed the memory back into his head and replaced the basin in the cupboard. Glancing all about the room, he found it as empty as before and he looked to the Dormitory stairs. Temptation to stay right where he was was overwhelming, but looking at his watch, he figured it would still be a while before Sirius got up anyway.

Standing on the first cold step, he looked to the top, and after a deep intake of breath, found the will to move. Upon reaching the top of the stairs, he was just about to turn the handle when he heard a noise within, a voice. Remus frowned, only Sirius was in there! He must be talking in his sleep, Remus figured, but pressed his ear against the door anyway. He didn't like what he heard.

"James, Remus kissed me", Sirius's voice came, muffled. James? He's away! But to Remus's surprise, James's voice returned, slightly more muffled, but there all the same. Remus had to cover his mouth with his hand as he almost exclaimed.

"He did? When?" James said in response. Remus was very confused. How could James be talking to Sirius? There were no fire places in the room, so he couldn't have appeared in the fire by using Floo. Unless James had somehow come back in the night. Remus wouldn't risk opening the door to find out. He needed to hear this.

"Last night, Jamie. I dunno what to do. I tried to pretend it was just 'cos we were drunk...but we'd long sobered up by then. What should I do?" Siri asked in a panicked voice.

"Calm down for a start. Maybe Remus wasn't as sobered as you?" he tried. Remus hoped to God that Sirius took it. He was grateful that Jamie was trying to put Siri off the scent. But it didn't work.

"No. He was sobered. Dammit. It was a good day as well. On Christmas Eve I broke up with Melanie and she went home, know how I told you she was getting too clingy? Well, I was kinda relieved that was over.. Anyway, me an' Moony were having a laugh. I noticed he seemed a bit down about something so I took him to this place I like to go - "

"What place?" Jamie interjected abruptly. Remus was sure Sirius was going to tell Jamie about the special room, but he didn't.

"- Just this place", he cut in, "and he seemed a lot better. We were drinking some Firewhiskey and having a laugh -" Jamie interrupted again. Remus bit his tongue when James said it, knowing where it might lead.

"What was up with Moony?"

"Oh, he was thinking about that girl he -" and Remus heard Sirius gasp as he stopped suddenly. Remus could see in his mind that Sirius had turned pale with shock. He, himself had turned it with nausea. An awkward silence reigned. James must have spotted his mistake as he tried a moment later to change the subject.

"So how did Mel take it?" more silence, "Sirius?" James sounded almost as nervous as Remus felt.

"But. No. Jamie?" Sirius said in disbelief.

"Sirius. Stop looking so dumb and just say it. You're making this very awkward you know" James said, attack being the best form of defense. Defending Remus.

"You knew. He told you about this. The girl...You knew there was no girl. Shit, Jamie, There was no girl!" Sirius raised his voice. Another silence stretched and Remus held his chest to stop his heart making so much noise and in attempt of making it stop hurting so much.

"Sirius, calm down" Jamie said at last.

"But all this time? It was me?....He--he--" Sirius trailed off and Jamie picked it up.

"Loves you, yes" he said and Remus felt hot tears burn a river down his cold cheeks. Apparantly he'd been crying already and hadn't noticed. Why did Jamie have to go and confirm it like that? But Remus knew it wasn't fair blaming Jamie, he had kept it quiet and tried to make Sirius miss it, but Sirius had got there on his own. There really had been no point in denying it there. Sirius suddenly broke the silence.

"Jamie...but he told me, when I asked about 'her'", Remus could feel the quotation marks on 'her', "how long he'd loved her for. He said, 'Since the first time I saw..her'. All these years, Jamie?" Sirius had a frantic edge to his voice, the most unfamiliar sound for him. Also, hurt. Remus almost stepped into the room to say it had all been one big joke or something equally unbelievable, but he was rooted to the spot. Unable to move in his despair and sadness.

"All these years, Sirius. Think how he feels--"

"That's the point, I've just found out 'how he feels'", Sirius cried rather mordantly and Jamie tried again.

"Think how he feels now. If you're devastated by this, think what's going through his head! Yes, Sirius, all these years, this is what he's dealt with...Where is he just now anyway?" Remus stupidly held his breath, incase they heard him.

"I dunno. When I woke up he was gone from the dorm.." So Jamie wasn't there or he'd know that much already. Then, where was he?

"What?" Jamie said, suddenly sounding worried. Remus pushed his ear closer to the door to hear, without moving it.

"The rest of the holiday, Jamie! I can't spend it alone with him now, I wouldn't know what to say to him. You've got to come here tomorrow, Jamie!" Sirius exclaimed and Remus felt an impetuous anger bubbling deep inside him at this. So Sirius couldn't bear to be alone with him for even several more days!

He heard no more of the conversation as it was ended rather unexpectedly with Remus storming through the door in a rage and shocking Sirius and James.

Sirius sat, aghast, alone in the room on his bed, holding some picture frame or something. Remus strode half-way across the room and stopped in a fury, glaring before he began to shout.

"So, what, Sirius? You don't trust me enough to stay a few more days with me", he spat in anger. Sirius looked to the thing in his hand and closed his mouth, head hung in a sort of shame. "And where's Jamie? I heard his side too, where is he?" he shouted, angry at Jamie for no reason.

Sirius sighed and looked up at Remus, holding up the frame-shaped thing in one hand and turning it to face Remus. It was a mirror. Or so it seemed to Remus at first. It was then he noticed that he could see Jamie's head and most of his shoulders.

"James' present to me for Christmas--" Sirius said.

"A two-way mirror kind of thing", Jamie said and had this been a different situation, this would have been the point where Remus gasped in awe at the device, at the two-way mirror and revelled in how cool it was and how useful it could come in. But that wasn't exactly what was going through his mind at that precise moment. He was still furious.

"So you coming tomorrow then, Jamie?" He said caustically. Jamie gave him a look of 'I don't deserve this' and said,

"I think I'd better, don't you? If this is the way you're gonna be!"

"And how am I expected to be?" Remus shouted again, Sirius staring at the floor.

"There's no need to be angry at Jamie, Remus", Sirius said, voice emotionless and monotonous. Somehow, this tone bit into Remus and made him even more angry.

"I'll be angry at who I want! It's nothing to do with you!" He yelled at Sirius and he looked up, a sudden sneer on his face.

"Somehow," his voice icily cold, "not being big-headed or anything, but somehow, I think it has everything to do with me. It's me this argument is all about is it not? About you, ruining friendships!" and Remus lost the words that had been about to spill forth. The wind seemed knocked out of him by that comment and the next voice was neither his nor Sirius'.

"Sirius! No friendships are gonna be ruined if you'll both stop shouting and talk this out properly" James cried, anxiously. But Remus couldn't take it any more. That had brought tears pouring fast from his eyes again and he turned, quickly found his day robes and took them to the bathroom to change. He didn't bother trying to hear what Sirius said to Jamie or even Jamie's response. He didn't listen when Sirius knocked on the bathroom door, telling him to come back out. He changed quickly, opened the door and shoved passed Sirius, throwing his pyjamas on his bed before almost running out of the room and slamming the door in Sirius's face.

As he ran down the steps, nobody pursued him and he kept on running until he found himself out of the Common Room and running down a corridor of the suddenly immense Hogwarts, not running anywhere in particularly.

.--.

Sirius stood, looking at the closed door for a while. Jamie's voice made him look away as he remembered he was still in the two-way mirror. He didn't know what to think..or to feel. He was angry, sad, guilty, annoyed and confused all at the one time. And, yet, a few things seemed to now be fitting. Things that had happened with Remus.

"Sirius you two have got to talk this out" James said, cautiously, unsure of what Sirius could be thinking. Sirius went back over to his bed and sat down, not knowing what to do.

"I can't, Prongs. Can't you see this has changed everything?" James clearly hadn't wanted to hear that and Sirius, himself, felt his heart constrict at the very same thought. He said it, "This is the end of us. The Marauders" and James gasped.

"You can't mean that Sirius! He can't help his feelings for you! C'mon, it's not the first time you've found out somebody was in love with you" he said quickly. Sirius looked at him.

"That's different--"

"How?" Jamie said, getting alarmed more and more every minute. Sirius sounded a small, mirthless laugh.

"They weren't one of my best mates, were they?" And Jamie struggled to find an answer. "You know it can't go back to normal. Not now I know this. That he felt that for so long. It's obviously affected our friendship in the past, Jamie" he said, thoughtfully.

"How? How has it?" James asked anxiously. Sirius smirked.

"Like you don't know", Jamie bit his lip in guilt, "You've known since...since the start of sixth year! First day back! I remember. What about the time he wouldn't talk to me? I thought I'd done something wrong...He fainted at Hogsmeade at that dare!" Sirius began remembering, "When you encouraged me to take on the dare! Why didn't you tell me? Why did you encourage that dare to kiss him? Why didn't you tell me Prongs?" He repeated and James let out a long sigh.  
"Padfoot, you know that if it was you, you'd have kept the secret too. I wasn't meant to figure it out, but I did. He didn't want me to say anything and we don't do that do we? We don't pass on secrets of each others?"

"No, because we don't keep secrets from each other! Or, supposedly we didn't" Sirius began. Suddenly he remembered his secret room in the forest with guilt.

"What, you're saying you've never kept a single secret? I find that hard to believe, no matter how close we are. Come on! You know I couldn't have told you!" Sirius nodded and his voice almost cracked when he spoke.

"I know", his voice was so small and unlike him, "When can you get here?" James thought for a minute.

"I'm afraid not today or tomorrow. I get home from my holiday tomorrow, but there's no way my mum will let me away from the family while relatives are over. They should probably have all left by late tomorrow...So, 28th? I should be back then."

"Okay. Fine. As long as you're back before the full moon on the 29th. I'm gonna go now. See you then", Sirius said and after James said goodbye, he wrapped the mirror up in a cloth and put it into his trunk.

He couldn't tell how long he sat there, trying to make sense of things, registering the extent to what this meant. Why did Remus feel like that? He'd given him no reason to feel that way about him. He'd just been plain Sirius around Remus, 'cos he was one of his best mates. The girls that had felt that way hadn't known him really. They were the one's he'd go out with for a couple of weeks, sleep with a couple of times, that sort of thing. He wasn't friends with them. He was friends with Remus. Did Remus want to have what they girls had? Did Remus not want to be friends? Did Remus want to sleep with him? It was all too much. He tried to do as James said and imagine how he felt, but it was no use. He just couldn't believe that Remus could--did--feel sexualy attracted to him.

"Can't he love some other bloke" he cried out in anger at the empty room, his voice echoing blindly back to him in a taunt of his rage. ,--,--,--,--,--,--,


	10. A Vicious Attack

DISCLAIMER: None of the characters seen in Harry Potter are mine. None. Not Sirius. Not Remus. None. .... :'( lol 

**NOTE TO ALL:** Guys, I warned that the story is going to get a little darker, well this chapter you will see what I mean. If you felt bad for Remus in the last chapter, you may end up feeling bad for Sirius here. Lol, you'll see what I mean. Remember, it is all for a reason P

Kilikapele: I'm glad you're caught up in the story, thank you for you reviews again. Well, hope you enjoy these chapters P

Lizzy-Evans: Yes, Remus is adorable lol. I love him so much D Thank you for your review. Thank you also for the stories that you mentioned, I will definitaley read them as soon as I catch up on some school work. Thank you!!!!!

Audrey G. Black: Isa, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapters. I'm glad too that you thought the song was appropriate, I wasn't sure how people would take to a song in it. Well thanking you for the review, hope you enjoy the rest lol.

Werewolves are human too: Lol!! Aww Sirius will love him in the end, story wouldn't be as emotional i it was now though, so sorry lol, there's a small wait P Lol, I don't like Remus being hurt, but somehow, evilly, it was fun to write (only because I know it will be okay for him though lol).

Elfeh/Elwen of Imladris (lol!): Omg, I love you by the way lol. You know, every time I go to update, I wonder what you specifically will think of my chapters! Lol, you're the person I probably hope most to please, I love your constructive criticism D. I was reading on your link thing and noticed you seem to be a very big lord of the rings fan lol..(understatement??) and I think it's great. I was addicted to LOTR for a while. Mainly Legolas (ah he is so smooth :P). And all the cool names, God, Tolkien is so meticulous, amazing, I'm sure you know lol. Hope you enjoy my next chapters lol, like I said, it gets quite serious. Thank you for your continued reviews. Love ya P

MyOwnShukuun: I'm glad you like my story, I hope the rest lives up to what you want lol. Well, thank you for your review.

Moony-38: Lol, you're gonna hate me after the next chapter or so when you see what else Remus has to go through! Lol! Sorry, it was so much fun to write. Well, I couldn't let Sirius do that typical "I love you back" straight away or like that, things have to happen to make him see first lol. I have no idea what you guys are going to think of this lol, but trust me, it was needed!!

Peegchica: Thank you for reviewing my story, I hope you enjoy the next chapters.

JuliansGirl: Thanks for the review. I'm happy when peopl have a strong reaction to the story. Ah, and cliffhangers, so much fun P Lol, don't be TOO angry at Sirius, he has his reasons you know lol. Hope you enjoy the next chapters.

Ganjalief: Did I not write a reply o you? Omg, I don't think I did, I'm so sorry lol. Somehow I got everyone elses review as an e-mail and only saw yours when i looked at the review page S. Well, thank you for reviewing my story anyway. I hope you enjoy my next chapters. Lol, Sirius without a shirt, had to be done P. XxX

**Chapter 10: A Vicious Attack**

It was with much apprehension that James returned to Hogwarts. It was now very late into the 29th, but he'd let Sirius know he couldn't get back the day before as planned. Wondering how things had progressed over the last few days, as Sirius had been refusing to speak of anything to him since he first told him of the kiss, James stood outside the portrait door to the Gryffindor Common Room.

Finally stepping inside, he saw it was empty but for the fire in the grate. Nobody was in the Dorm either as he brought his holiday stuff up, and it was so odd to have the place to himself, he didn't like it. Hoping to see one of them soon, he dashed back downstairs and smiled as he saw Sirius had come in and rested by the fire.

Smiling, Sirius said, "How was your holiday then?" And James was surprised by how calm he appeared to be, especially after they'd really spoken last.

"It was really good. Nearly got stuck at home for even longer though, 'cos Aunt Maisy really wasn't taking the hint to leave and mum didn't want me to leave until all the family were away. But I managed to convince old Maisy that she really should go..." he finished mischievously and Sirius laughed.

"What did you do?" He sniggered and James was really glad to see that he didn't seem different in any way for what had been going on. He gave his best 'innocent I am' look before falling into a chair, grinning, "Know how she's like, this old prude?" Sirius nodded and leaned forward, waiting, "Well, I might have told her that us in the Potters' household like to invite people over for a nice naked frolic in the house on the night of the full moon, and that we really insisted she join us if she was staying..."

Sirius was laughing merrily, his face bright and fair and James could tell he hadn't laughed for days. "Imagine she'd said yes!" Sirius laughed and James cringed at the thought.

"Euch!" He replied, "Well, her face. I won't forget it..how shocked..disgusted...it was hilarious! Her bags were packed before I could even say 'flash' and she gave this look to my mum on the way out as if to say, 'I won't be coming back here'. Which is a good thing really...Ha! Mum knew I'd done summot, but I kinda thought it'd be better not to say..She actually seemed quite relieved though, so didn't try to do much finding out." As he ended, he looked up, seriously at Sirius.

"By any chance, do you know where Remus is?" He had expected that would remove Sirius' smile, but it didn't. Sirius seemed unaffected, indifferent.

"Yeah, Madam Pomfrey took him away about ten minutes before you came in. I saw them leave, they passed me on the way" Sirius said casually.

James was all the more concerned for it, "Have you two spoke then?" Sirius made no hint of being awkward about it or any other emotion at all.

"Nah, not really spoken in a while" he said offhandedly. James scrutinized his countenance and his face. Nothing was giving away any feelings of the turmoil he must have been going through.

"Sirius, have you been avoiding each other?" And Sirius raised his eyebrows as though the idea was strange, why would they, his face seemed to ask.

"Not at all! No, we've been sitting in here quite a lot actually. Sure, maybe we haven't said a word to each other all the while, but no..not avoiding" he said in his normal lighthearted way, but the words to Jamie were underlined with a sardonic flare.

"Sirius, how can you be so casual about this? Do I need to remind you what happened at Christmas" Sirius smirked, "Or what you said? "This is the end of us. The Marauders". Your words, Sirius".

Sirius shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, "I know what happened and I know what I said, Jamie. Understandably, I think, I was a bit upset. Over it now though. I'm glad you're back, but I shouldn't have told you to come. You didn't really think the Marauders would end because of something so small, did you?" Jamie couldn't really believe what he was hearing. The worst of it was that Sirius was trying to sound as though he believed it and to any outsider, it would have come off. But James knew him that bit better and shook his head in incredulity.

"Sirius, I'm not even gonna answer that properly! You know fine well this isn't something 'small'. I know it isn't that to you and it certainly isn't to Remus", he said almost defensively. Sirius' face had been blank as he said it.

"He'll get over it," he said, tiniest quaver in his voice, "he'll realise he doesn't really feel like that, that it's silly. I'm only Sirius and he'll see that soon". James knew that Sirius wanted to believe what he was saying, but knew that he didn't.

"Sirius," he quietly began, shaking his head slowly, "you know that isn't true. He knows you're Sirius. It's Sirius, you, he lo--"

"Don't finish that word, Jamie" Sirius interrupted as James was saying 'loves.' James checked his bright eyes and saw that panic sat at the very edge of Sirius. Fine, if Sirius wants to pretend nothing went on, that's up to him, I suppose, thought James. Sirius stood up and stretched, looked down at Jamie and said, "You coming then? About time we headed down--"

"You're going?" James thought he was there to keep Remus company because Sirius wasn't going. After all, Sirius had said 'As long as you're back before the full moon on the 29th.' Sirius looked at him as though he'd said something incredibly stupid.

"Of course I'm going. God, you act as though something big's just happened here..." But James heard the sarcasm. It wasn't plain, but it was there. I see passed the bravado, Sirius, James thought as he walked down behind him, neither wearing the invisibility cloak for it was unlikely they would bump into anyone when the school was so empty, And I don't think it'll work much longer.

Bathed in the accursed moonlight, James and Sirius ran across Hogwarts lawn towards the Whomping Willow. With no Peter to freeze the knot in the tree for them, Sirius prodded it with a long branch. The night air was chill and unmoving. A shiver ran over James and it wasn't from the cold night. He couldn't explain it, but something didn't feel right. It was like when you know someone is standing behind you without looking and the hair on your arms and neck stand on end, the way you feel when instinct tries to warn you something bad is going to happen. Sirius gave him a funny look at the bottom of the tunnel.

"Does something not seem right to you, or is it just me?" He asked and James furrowed his brows.

"Isn't just you Padfoot. I don't like this. Maybe we should leave this tonight" James said as they walked forward, the closer they walked to the Shack, the stronger the uneasiness grew. Some scent of danger blasted its way into both of their hearts as they tensely approached the end of the tunnel. Sirius hadn't answered and James knew he wouldn't leave Remus alone anyway. They transformed a little way before the bend in the tunnel.

The unseen imperilment was disquieting and James, now in stag form, Prongs, nudged Padfoot with his antlers, just to show him he still wanted to go back. As he did so, a slow, menacing growl arose from Moony in the Shack, seeming to confirm for Prongs that they would turn back, but Padfoot shrugged him off and turned the bend. Feeling some fear of the ominous growl, he followed Sirius. It was so strange to be scared of the growl he'd heard so many times before. It hadn't bothered him since back when they first heard it, not sure if they would be accepted by Moony. But his senses were screaming at him that this was different.

Padfoot was just in front of them as they entered the wreck of the Shrieking Shack and faced Moony, the wolf, once more. Standing back as normal, Prongs watched as Padfoot inched closer to Moony, ready to face him off then submit, as usual.

The wolf's teeth were bared, inch-long teeth, razor sharp. He was low to the ground and uncomfortably reminded Jamie of a crouching tiger, stalking its prey. The prey being Sirius. But Padfoot went more confidently on, even as the wolf growled his warning to stay away. Never had Moony looked this threatening in the pre-pack ritual before. Or ever.

Intensity stole over the room and Moony and Padfoot began to circle in a glaring match, Moony's changed yellow eyes boring into the pale blue ones that were still Sirius', unlike the wolf. Still growling, a loathing displayed deep in those yellow eyes. A loathing? Prongs wondered anxiously. No, this was normally a ritual to prove the dominance of the wolf to his pack, not a hate game. Both he and Padfoot could easily feel the anger of the wolf. It wasn't going right at all. If Remus wasn't still angry at Sirius, the wolf certainly was.

They came to a halt, and James felt useless. Padfoot was about to lower his head in submission when Prongs felt a powerful dread. It wasn't unjustified. As the large dog bowed down, up sprang the coiled form of the wolf, leaping straight for him in a vicious dive. Unable to react quick enough, the dog was caught unawares and yelped as it crashed to the floor under the weight of the wolf, teeth sinking into his throat. Prongs was startled, but not as much as Sirius was.

As a stag, he couldn't really have done much here, but he charged forward and butted the wolf with his antlers, just to give Padfoot time to get up. The wolf was barely moved and glared up, teeth dripping blood, Sirius' blood, James panicked. The wolf didn't attack him as he thought it might. Padfoot had managed to get up, but the wolf sensed the diversionary tactics and as Sirius bounded off farther into the room, the wolf chased after him, his quarrel with the dog, not the stag.

Prongs turned around in time to see Padfoot and Moony rear up on hind legs, face to face and slash each other with their claws. Padfoot weighed more than the smaller wolf so got the better this once and knocked the wolf onto it's back. But just as Jamie thought Padfoot would run off again, he ran forward, over Moony, almost as though he'd regretted defending himself, and unexpectedly to the dog, it bit him on his belly. Padfoot leaped forward to get away, but in his distress, bashed into a table and falling amongst the rubble, was vulnerable to the wolf. Prongs tried to distract the wolf again, to give Sirius time to get back up, but the wolf was more cunning this time and landed on Padfoot, teeth ripping clumps out of him in his almost cornered fighting space.

Prongs went over, nudging at Moony, terrified whilst trying, but even more so for Padfoot. The wolf didn't take the slightest interest in him as he shook his head, mouthful of Sirius almost coming right off, but making it even more painful for staying attached as it forced his nose to bang repeatedly off the wall. The flesh finally tore from him, but it gave him time to dodge sideways over the table and away from Moony. Prongs noted horrorstruck that Padfoot was limping and blood dripped as he ran. He tried to communicate his distress to the wolf, to no end for as soon as the beast dropped his prize, he leaped over a sofa, high, landing on Padfoot once more.

I've got to get us out of here, James finally realised, scanning the room for something that would trap the wolf and allow he and Sirius to make an escape.  
Looking over, they were now rolling over with each other in a painful recreation of a crocodile's death roll. Padfoot would get in the occasional blow, but the alarming fact was that the wolf had the upper hand. Padfoot was soaked in his own blood and Moony was covered in the same thing, none of it his own. Each time Padfoot escaped it, the monster lunged after him again, ripping at his limbs and body and face, clawing at him.

Prongs had no way of stopping it, he kept trying to force the wolf off of the dog, but his antlers made no difference. If it stalled it for a moment, it was only a moment. A short moment and Sirius is going to die if I don't find us a way out, James knew, still searching around the room. The horrible noise through the room was mostly Sirius' howling and yelpings of pain.

The wolf continued his hideous attacks as James saw it. A way. It was more than risky, but it was all he could think to do. He would have to, briefly, turn human while the wolf was far from him. He had to use his wand. It was a terrifying prospect, but he must, he had to save Sirius and this was the only thing that came into his panic-stricken mind. Whilst being bitten in animagus form would only earn him a nasty wound, being bitten in human form would earn him what Remus had been stuck with. It would make him a werewolf. It could be but for a few seconds or the wolf would get him.

Gathering his nerves and wit, James closed his stag eyes and breathed deeply. Opening them again, he found that the fight was being continued in the far corner of the room. Now or never, he thought. He did it.

James stood, human. Previous attempts to distract the wolf had failed but this time, the wolf smelt the human, and whipped around, running straight away at him. Briefly, he spotted Padfoot in the background bark in fear and in attempt to bring the wolf back. Sirius wouldn't want James to risk his life like this. In the seconds he had before the wolf's teeth would descend upon him, James plunged into his robes as fast as possible in trepidation and his hand grasped his wand. The wolf was halfway there as he raised it level, jumped up on the sofa and leaped over from it, covering most of the distance. James roared, Khorde bindan as the wolf vaulted more furniture and as it made its last advance, it tumbled to the ground face first, front legs bound tightly in ropes.

Instantly, he transformed back into the stag and ran to Padfoot, it wouldn't be long before the rope manacles would be chewed through and the wolf would be after them again. Padfoot had seen the plan and they both sprinted as fast as they could from the Shack and into the tunnel. Padfoot wasn't going so fast and Prongs worriedly kept glancing at him as they made distance between themselves and the wolf. He saw that he was losing a lot of blood as they ran and that more than one of his legs were injured so he could barely put them down, the front left paw, hardly touching the ground if at all.

Halfway through the tunnel, the terror was refreshed as they heard a distant growl. Moony was loose and coming after them, well, Sirius anyway. James could only hope to get out of the Willow and it to move again before the wolf could get there and he knew they weren't going as fast as the wolf would be going. Padfoot really was injured badly.

The growling haunted them, ever getting louder, when finally, relief came from seeing the opening of the tree. Looking back, Prongs was shocked to see that Moony was now in view, at the furthest back part of the tunnel they could see. They ran up the slope and Prongs let Padfoot through first. He panicked as the growling came even closer and he didn't dare to look back. He had to become human again to fit through that space normally, but he couldn't risk it so he squeezed tightly as he could at the entrance. He thought for one disastrous second that he wasn't going to get through, but was then outside. He pressed the knot quickly and the tree became like marble, still. He and Padfoot quickly dashed passed the tree and turned back, begging the tree to move again.

Yellow eyes protruded from the opening and then the wolf's head. Horror at what would happen if the wolf made it out struck them both full force and more of the wolf was out of the tree. This was it. The wolf made to dart from the tree and was all of a sudden stopped. It yelped out in agony as the tree mercilessly swung a heavy branch, battering into its side. One more attempt to dodge out and the wolf was hit again. Yapping, the wolf finally gave up and went as quickly as it could go back into the tree. The wolf didn't know about the knot in the tree. Remus did, but that monster was not Remus. They had escaped it.

James transformed once more into a human, relieved for the tree's existence more than he could express. He lay back on the grass for a moment, grateful. Then, with stinging recollection, he thought of Padfoot and turned to see Sirius, transformed back on the grass...bleeding freely.

James gave a cry of shock as he saw Sirius lying, unmoving, passed out on the grass. It was dark, but his blood shone black in the moonlight and he was drenched in it. His skin; not one centimeter didn't have a red covering. His face was scraped badly, his arms lay, limp at his sides, his robes sodden in the blood.

"Sirius! Sirius, wake up!" He shouted at him, terrified and shaking him slightly, trying not to hurt him more, "Oh God, oh God." It struck him suddenly that Sirius might die. That his best friend in the world might never speak again, his laugh never to be heard, his jokes never shared, their pranks never pulled, never again see his beautiful face...He broke down in tears over Sirius' immobile body and tried to think what to do. Standing up shakily, he conjured up a stretcher beneath Sirius and he moved as swiftly as he could on his trembling legs.

He headed straight for the hospital wing, now at a run, up the stone steps into the school, through the never-ending corridors, Sirius lay out before him, still as the night air had been. It seemed he was moving in slow motion and that every second passing was killing Sirius.

He burst into the Ward and Madam Pomfrey came charging out of her office, about to angrily challenge the person who almost broke the door down, when her eyes fell on Sirius and widened in undiluted shock.

"Sirius?" She whispered in question, looking up at James...

.--.

Remus wiped his face in the futile attempt to rid himself of tears. James set his hand on his shoulder in comfort, even though he too was sobbing uncontrollably. Many of the surrounding people's eyes were on them and Remus glanced around the packed Hall, anything to help avoid looking to the front.

He saw not one single dry face in the crowd as all either stared at him, or hung their head in sorrow. His head ached as though everyone was bashing it with bricks and his breathing was dejected. On his left, was James, then Peter and on his right was a whole host of teachers, Dumbledore directly beside him, eyes puffy red and tearstained. They were in the front row. At the very end of the row, sat Sirius' mother, black veil cast across her face and his father clinging to her. They didn't even care, Remus bitterly thought, but his heart compressed even more. All the mourning students sat behind, in blurs because his eyes were filled with more tears.

Distantly he heard some voice saying, "All rise" and vaguely he felt himself trying.

Complete grief grabbed his heart in an iron-fist and he forced himself to look forward. He caught sight of the hundreds of wreaths and posies that lined the walls. 'Good-bye Sirius' said one, 'BEST FRIEND' read one he recognised as the Marauders' for him. For Sirius. Their best friend. The beautiful, wonderful, kind, caring, altruistic Sirius. Not enough words in the world were sufficient enough for him. And he was gone forever. Nobody would ever witness his face light up or his eyes glint mischievously as he hatched a plan ever again. No-one could ever hear that bark of laughter, his witty remarks, his sensual voice, anything...

As his eyes followed the wide trail of them, he collapsed entirely as at the front of the Hall, right in the centre, a large, black glossed coffin sat, silver paneling accentuating the long plain box in which Sirius Black lay in his last public appearance in the world of men and wizards. As he almost hit the ground, James and Dumbledore gripped his arms from each side, "Let it out," Dumbledore whispering softly as they steadied him.

James pulled him into a bone-crushing hug and they stood there, balanced against one another, unrestrained weeping, soaking each other in grief. A soft, balladic tune began and reminded Remus painfully of the one he had heard at Christmas as Sirius had lain asleep on the bed. But it was too distant to hear it correctly. Breaking apart to sit down, Remus looked up to a stand and saw Melanie Brown, poor countenance, hunched over on the lectern, whimpering, then clearing her throat to read from some tear-soaked piece of paper. Her voice came small, but clear over the Hall and Remus listened carefully. She had loved Sirius too after all.

'Angels of the Sky,' she announced as its name and cleared her throat again before continuing.

'Infinite shades of blue canvas Flecked with splashes, white Dotted minute with sparkles Dashed colour of the night

Cross-hatched in blues and yellows A patch of speedy light A scattered blend of beauty A rugged and glorious sight

Azure trickles moistened teardrops From artists heavenly domain The pearls of wisdom capture love Destined forever to remain

A gust of air set rushing A sigh of hope and regret A human blast of longing Of love one can't forget

A falling wealth of purity Of beauty once beheld A renewal of protection All broken hearts be quelled

A flash of blinding fury A rip of torn up guilt A shouting rumble of aching To strike 'neath nature's quilt

Unbroken blue returns And all those who then die The storm will pass them over To be angels of the sky'

Remus thought it was beautiful. Each verse seemed to describe the sky as a basic meaning, but it was complexly reflecting on Sirius, the emotions of his death and where he now was. For the first time he felt truly sorry for Melanie as she ran down from the rostrum, hand over her face as she ran from the Hall. Her friend, Nat ran after her, crying too. Then, beside him, James stood up, shaking, a piece of paper in his own hand. He walked up to stand where Mel had just run from, preparing to give the last eulogy of his best friend of sixteen years.

It took him his time, standing looking darkly at the coffin. He met his eyes with Remus and Remus nodded his head in blind encouragement for him to go on.

'Where in the world has anybody met a Sirius but here? Someone with the name, maybe, but nobody so amazing our Sirius Black. I'll never forget the time..."

Remus woke up suddenly, tears rolling down his face and he panicked as he didn't know where he was. His vision became clear and as it did, he saw James standing above him. As he took a deep intake of breath his heart became a million times lighter with relief. It had been a nightmare, that was all. The worst nightmare possible, but just a nightmare.

Yet, even as he felt this blast of relief, he realised that James was red-eyed and had been crying for hours it seemed. He wasn't now, but it was so plain to see and Remus' heart jolted in his chest as the terrifying thought that the nightmare was real.

"Where is Sirius?" He cried out, causing James to jump. James looked at him sullenly, biting a nail distractedly.

"James, please I just had this horrible nightmare I was at his funeral and now you're scaring me! Is he dead?" Remus vented, his mind deeply troubled.

James looked alarmed at this and quickly put his mind to rest, "NO!" Remus sighed deeply, exhaling a "Thank God" as he did so.

But James was still looking nervously at him, "But he nearly died," he whispered, beginning to cry at the thought. Remus looked at him. Oh God.

"How? How is he now? What happened? Where is he?" Remus was gibbering and James told him to calm down.

"He's okay now" and James sat down beside Remus and slowly delved into the tale of what had happened in the Shrieking Shack, making sure to keep reminding Remus it was the wolf, not him who had attacked Sirius.

Remus was physically sick when James ended his story. He felt ill that he, the wolf, had been capable of hurting Sirius that seriously. At all. Guilt drove him to despair and he looked blankly at James, "Where is he?"

James looked down at the bed sheets, hesitating, "He's...he's here." Like a fool, Remus looked around himself, but James quickly added, "No. Not beside you, in the ward, at the top".

Remus looked up to the top of the ward and the bed closest to the door had the curtain pulled fully around it, barring his eyes' view. He sat up in his bed, ready to get up, but James put a hand on his chest to put him back again, "But I've got to see him!" He protested.

James shook his head, "Look, he's asleep. And...I don't want you to see him just now." Remus felt angry and hurt, was James thinking he'd hurt Sirius or something?

"James, I wouldn't ever hurt him deliberately! I know we had fallen out, but I'd never lay a finger--"

"Don't be an idiot. I don't want you to see him in the state he's in. It isn't good" James said.

"How bad?" Remus whispered.

James looked down, "Madam Pomfrey healed all the broken bones, cuts and wounds. It's just bruising left. They'll leave quickly, don't worry, she made sure he had a quick reacting recovery, but I don't want you to see just now. Make you feel even worse."

Remus wiped his eyes defiantly, "Look, I know what it's like to see a ton of bruises. I know what it's like to wear them, never mind see them. I need to see him Prongs." He was desperate and James could see it.

"Fine, but we're not waking him up. He needs to rest and he's lost so much blood--"

"Oh, you're awake, Remus! Stand back James, please," Madam Pomfrey said, approaching them. "You have a few more cuts than you've had in ages. Must have been a bad transformation..." She doesn't know? He raised his eyebrows in question to James.

"Is it okay if Remus sees Sirius, Madam? We won't wake him, I was just telling Remus about him and the only thing that's gonna put his mind to rest is seeing him". Madam Pomfrey looked to Remus in sympathy.

"Yes, of course. As soon as I've made sure you're okay, Mr. Lupin" she said, checking him all over, probing weird lights into his eyes, weird tools in his ears. She spoke during it, "Did Mr. Potter tell you how he came in in such a mess then?" Remus shook his head, he wanted to hear what story she'd been given. "No, thought not. Whilst you were having a terrible time of it in the Shack, he and Sirius went sneaking into Hogsmeade. Not pleased, were you James having to reveal the secret passageway you used?" James shook his head mournfully as Remus looked at him in surprise.

"I know, no more sneaking there from the gargoyle at Hufflepuff's Common Room. Don't know how we're going to get all those sweets now..." James carried on. Remus would have laughed, as they knew numerous ways into Hogsmeade, but he could only feel the guilt. He'd almost killed his friend, nearly got them caught for being animagi and it was his fault they would get falsely into trouble for sneaking into the village when they hadn't gone and he would get into no trouble at all.

"...Attacked by some creature in the night. James didn't see it properly apparently, so he can't say what it was, and Sirius? Well, for the short time he awoke this morning all we found out was that he'd suffered some memory loss. He remembers some things, like going to the village but large parts of his time are lost. Not even just from last night, patches of blankness from a while ago, gone. It'll all come back in it's own time, but there's nothing we can do about that just now..." Pomfrey jumbled on.

"So can I go see him then?" He asked once she'd finished both rambling and checking him over. She smiled in pity, "Yes. You seem fine. You can leave the Hospital Wing when you're ready now. Go on, get dressed" she said and left him with James.

"Sneaking into Hogsmeade?" He asked as he got ready and James grinned and shrugged his shoulders.

"Best I could come up with. Moony, I spoke to Sirius when he was awake. He does remember the attack, but he really has lost some of his memory. He doesn't remember anything from Christmas." He said it with a grin. Remus wasn't sure what to think at first.

"What--he can't remember me...kissing him?" He said eventually. James shook his head with a smile.

"Nothing at all from then," he said, smug.

Remus frowned, "But he'll remember in time...Madam Pomfrey said it will all come back to him and then it'll be like finding it out all over again..."

"I'd of thought this would be good news! It gives you time to be normal with him again, brace yourself properly for when he remembers. Like old times..." James seemed annoyed that Remus hadn't been pleased by this information, so he felt he should smile and seem happier than he was. Well, it does mean I don't have to avoid talking to him now and wondering if he'll be thinking 'get away from me, gayboy.' Even if it is only for a while, he thought. Though, deep down, he knew he was discrediting Sirius something awful. Sirius had no problems with gay guys, just with people who happened to be his best friend trying to kiss him...

Seeing Sirius' beautiful face covered in dark purple contusions was one of the worst things Remus ever saw, knowing he'd caused them. Utter shame and disgust at his lycanthropy were what he felt. Sirius was still beautiful, purple or not and Remus thanked God that he was okay and had no lasting damage.

James and Remus spent the whole day there with him, just watching him, both having recently feared he was gone forever and comforted more than anyone could have guessed to watch his chest rise and fall steadily. They didn't want to leave but for Madam Pomfrey literally dragging them out of the door. Dumbledore had visited and Remus thought he'd question James, but he asked nothing except from 'How is Sirius doing now.' Remus had the strangest feeling that Dumbledore knew more than he was letting on, but let it go. As they left the Hospital Wing, Remus gave one last glance over Sirius, loving him more than ever.  
,--,--,--,--,--,--,


	11. An Overdue Visit

DISCLAIMER: None of the characters seen in Harry Potter are mine. None. Not Sirius. Not Remus. None. .... :'( lol 

**Chapter 11: An Overdue Visit**

It was New Year's Eve and late in the Gryffindor Common Room. It was surprising how many people had come back for the twelfth hour to celebrate together and Remus and James were not alone for long. It was about twenty minutes to the bells and Remus was sitting by the fire, chuckling halfheartedly as he watched James across the room, in another desperate attempt to win over Lily. James had been doing this from the moment Lily had returned to the Common Room from the break and it seemed to be having the desired affect. She was smiling every moment through and James seemed delighted all his hard work was finally being recognized. Remus couldn't be happier for him. But he could be happier.

Plagued constantly in conscious mind and in his dreams by the image of himself attacking the man he loved, Remus could not help but feel guilty, whether he had been in control or not. Sure, he did not know what he was doing as a wolf, but if he hadn't been mad at Sirius in the first place, this wouldn't have happened. Sirius could have died. The thought alone brought fresh tears to his eyes, but he held them back as noise grew around him in celebration.

He was missing his friend terribly. Madam Pomfrey had told them that 'in the best interest of the patient,' she could not allow them back to see Sirius as she did not want him disturbed. But Remus did feel anything that helped Sirius recover was for the best, even if he could not stop thinking of the next time they could speak.

Fear filled another space in his mind as he was scared that Sirius would hate him, for which he would not blame him, for the next full moon without him and for that dreaded day when Sirius would remember what caused those agonizing days of not speaking to each other. That silence, mad though he was at Sirius, had almost driven him to suicide. The anger had rather quickly ebbed away and during those three dreadful days the only thing keeping him from talking to Sirius had been shame in himself and fear that he would not be welcomed back.

Music that had been blaring tunelessly in his ear for hours had suddenly stopped and it brought him out of his reverie as he looked up and saw that everyone had a glass raised, ready for the countdown. He looked around and found that there was nobody in the crowd he felt like toasting with; James was toasting with Lily and he wasn't going to interrupt and Peter wasn't coming until tomorrow.

"Ten," ran out through the Common Room as all other noise died, "nine, eight, seven, six..." Keeping up the smile was one thing when people might look over at him, but whilst their attention was gone his smile slipped and he let his eyes wind through the crowd. His eyes rested on the door through a gap in the crowd. Maybe he could sneak down to the hospital wing ... "Five, four, three, two ..."

Remus didn't even hear the roar of the surrounding students as at that very second, the second that chimed New Year, his heart gave a massive leap and all sound disappeared as standing anew at the Common Room entrance, was Sirius, tall, beautiful and grinning at him through the crowd. Grinning at him.

In the same instant, it seemed, the gap in the crowd closed in and Sirius was lost. Remus hesitated in his seat, unsure whether he should get up and look for him or not, or even if it had been his imagination simply showing him what, who, he wanted to see. A few minutes later and just as his mind had decided for him to move, somebody split the crowd before him and Sirius stood a meter from his chair, just looking at him with a faint grin.

Remus smiled up at him. Surrounding people were eyeing Sirius up and down and a few people were trying to engage him in conversation, So, word is out Sirius is single again, I see, he thought as his heart raced wildly and he mirrored Sirius' grin. Guess he's not mad at me, he figured, as well as thinking simultaneously, he looks better than ever. And the people trying to talk to Sirius were completely ignored. Sirius looked to him and said, loud enough without shouting (the immediate crowd weren't making so much noise any more), "Moony, I wanna word."

Remus could have worried. He could have feared this was one of those dreaded moments that had been burning in his mind. But not with Sirius' smile still in place as his words were spoken. Not when all that seemed to go through his mind just then (nothing else registered) was how much he loved that beauteous boy before him, then the hand, the elegant hand, so soft, that closed over his arm to pull him from the chair and through the crowd. It was almost as if he were falling in love with him all over again.

In some part of his head, he barely noticed that they were now leaving the Common Room, the party, walking down the corridor or even that they had now in fact entirely left the Gryffindor tower and had just come to a sudden halt. Here, Remus felt, yet again, the loss he only ever felt when Sirius let him go. He came back to reality.

Sirius was standing a very small distance apart from him, smile momentarily missing from his face and waiting on Remus to notice. It was then his panic came back slightly, what if he remembered the kiss? But Remus was sure Sirius would not want private talks with him if that were true. Sirius spoke, causing him to slightly jump.

"Moony, you don't have to look so worried, we just need to talk over what happened," and Remus breathed out in relief.

"Oh, okay. Here?" Remus looked around and then back at Sirius, who he noticed was grinning.

"Yeh, didn't think we'd get much talking done in the New Year party..." Remus hit his shoulder playfully and regretted it straight away as Sirius staggered back, How careless!!!

"Sorry, I'm an idiot," he said rushing forward and putting his hand on Sirius' arm, "does it still hurt?"

"No. I'm not in pain any more. Just really really tired and kinda weary, y'know?" Sirius said seriously. Remus felt the guilt all over again.

To his surprise, Sirius sat down on the red velvety carpet and tugged on his hand to get him to do the same.

"It wasn't your fault" Sirius announced bluntly. Remus sat down, cross-legged in front of him, head down.

"It was my fault. I'm the one who did it. You don't remember do you? We'd fallen out ... "

Sirius butted in, "No. It doesn't matter if we had fallen out. I don't even want to know why, 'cos whatever it was I'm sure we shouldn't have fallen out over it, okay."

Remus disagreed mentally, but if he said that it was big enough to fall out over, he might end up having to remind Sirius why. What he'd done. But he had to protest in some way, so he said, "I'm the wolf, Sirius -- "

Before he could finish, a caring hand tilted his head up by the chin, so he was looking Sirius in the eye and Sirius spoke again, more firmly this time, "It wasn't your fault," he repeated with clarity.

Remus was about to argue again, but the look Sirius was giving him stopped him. Remus could tell that Sirius meant it, nothing Remus could say would change it, he really meant it. For the first time since it had happened, Remus believed it.

"Thank you," he whispered as Sirius wiped a tear from his face and he took over with his robes, shamed again, but not truly caring this time.

Sirius took his hand away and nodded his welcome. They sat in a friendly silence for a minute, comforted they were friends again and that the attack hadn't changed their friendship one bit.

"You wanting to go back to the party then?" Remus asked quietly. Sirius considered it, then nodded.

The Common Room was in an uproar when they returned and Sirius jumped into the middle of it all straight away and Remus watched as he was suddenly lifted up high and carried off over the heads of the crowd. It was a slow process as people seemed to much be enjoying it when Sirius was overhead of them.

That night, Remus went to bed, his heart far lighter than it had been since Christmas Day.

James woke up, knackered. The party of New Year had carried long into the night and he had stayed up even after his prey, Lily, had gone to bed. He and Sirius were two of the last left awake. James could not have expressed efficiently how happy he was that Sirius was back, livelier than ever to boot. If Sirius had died that night ... James would probably have killed himself. There was no life without Sirius Black in it so there would be no point in trying to live one.

Yawning as he stretched forwards, he glanced around at each bed to see who was up on their last day of freedom before school term began. Apparently, Sirius and Remus were out as their beds lay empty. Perry McKinnon lay, breathing deeply in his bed and Peter had come back and was snoring heavily on top of his covers; he hadn't made it into bed. Must have had a tiring journey, James thought with a smile.

James stopped as he reached the Common Room below and he watched for a few minutes as he had spotted Sirius and Remus sitting by the fire together. His heart skipped a beat as he noticed for the first time how cute they looked together. Sirius was currently sitting beside Remus, leaning over him and attacking him with some small object, James couldn't tell what. Remus was laid over the arm of the chair, squirming with a cushion blocking his face from whatever it was Sirius had. Remus looks far more comfortable with him, James thought, satisfied. He was supremely glad that Sirius could not remember Remus kissing him. It wasn't right those two not talking to each other. He noticed in amusement that the object was a bright red lipstick and that Sirius was really trying to smear it on Remus.

As he sniggered loudly, his friends looked up and paused mid-action as they did so. He walked over to them as they straightened themselves back out.

"Didn't think you'd bother getting up, Prongs," said Sirius, smirking, "I was sure even Peter would get up before you and he's been travelling."

"When did he get in?" James asked, choosing to ignore the remarks.

"Just half an hour ago," Remus answered, blushing madly still from the carry on with Sirius. He was grinning fixedly, seeming unable to stop or be unhappy. Well, it must be some relief to be able to talk to Sirius again. He loves him... In reality, James had had quite a difficult time getting his head around that fact, but it now seemed natural. Now he could only wish for Remus that Sirius could one day feel the same, though he had little hope of it. Sirius wouldn't ever like a guy. Plenty had asked him out, in and out of the school and he'd always been shocked and said 'no.' Or, at least, he had been shocked in the past, nowadays he didn't even blink, just explained he wasn't gay and refused them politely.

"Didn't know you were into lipstick, Siri," James commented, pointing at the lipstick still in Sirius' hand. Sirius looked up, face mockingly serious.

"Yes," He rolled up the lipstick again, "my colour isn't it?" He added, holding it close to his mouth. James and Remus laughed.

"Definitely."

When Peter awoke and tumbled down the stairs, the boys went down to have a late breakfast in the Hall.

Sitting at their end of the long table, they related to Peter what happened during the Full Moon. Peter was horrified. He kept asking Sirius if he was all right and giving half-fearful glances at Remus as though he might bite him any moment now. To this, James kicked him under the table and angrily muttered, "It was the wolf, Peter, not Remus." Peter, not looking entirely convinced and glad more than anything that he hadn't been there, fell silent a moment. He then asked, "So there will just be three of us next time?"

The Marauders looked, downcast at the table, then Remus said, "Of course it will, Sirius isn't going back for more is he?" He said it slightly bitterly. He knew the wolf would sorely miss Sirius. He knew that the wolf loved Sirius too and if possible, even more than he did. The attack had been because the wolf wanted Sirius and Sirius had refused and not only that, but had been scared to be alone with him in human form. Remus hadn't even spoken this to James. But he also knew now that the wolf was sorry, just as he was and that he would definitely miss him. It just wasn't safe for him to go now though, not yet.

"There'll be four of us, as normal," Sirius growled quietly. They all stared at him, James scarcely able to believe Sirius had said it.

"No there won't," he said at Sirius. James stared into his many-shaded blue eyes and found determination there, "Sirius, it's too dangerous," he glanced at Remus to see his mouth was parted slightly in shock, "The wolf might kill you this time."

"He won't" Sirius said, defiant.

"Sirius," said Remus, "I don't want to wake up and find I've killed you. It was horrible just in a dream, never mind actually doing it ... "

Sirius softened his fair features and looked to him then back at James, "It won't happen again. The sooner I get back in beside the wolf, the better. Like...falling off a horse," he ended.

James made a derisive noise, "Except this is more likely to kill you." Sirius frowned at him and shook his head.

"It won't happen again, I already told you," he said.

To James' surprise, Remus said quietly, "No, it won't. You're right. I can feel it. The wolf feels bad, it's there in me."

That seemed to settle the matter. James felt better for Remus' reassurance and knew that he was secretly glad for he could not imagine Sirius not coming along every month.

When they had finished eating, Sirius said in a quiet voice (there were other students around now at the table), "Do you want to go to Hogsmeade tonight?"

James grinned, "I was going to ask that," he said, true enough, "yeah." All were agreed to be going later on that night. There was a pub they regularly went to on their sneaking nights into the village. It was on the farthest side of the town and they only ever went at night, under the extra cover (apart from the invisibility cloak) of darkness. They hadn't even been this year to it, which was rather unusual as in their previous year at Hogwarts, they had been there every other week. They had been regulars.

The day passed without occasion, except from when Melanie saw Sirius for the first time since their split. Sirius had been told by James of the split, for he hadn't remembered and Sirius said he was glad, saved him from having to do it now. As Melanie had approached him in the Common Room in the evening, all the Marauders had expected either an angry outburst or her begging to be back with Sirius. Surprised, they were when Melanie had flung her arms around Sirius in a massive hug and smiled it him, saying it was great to see him. Turned out she had no desire to cause Sirius not to speak to her and was trying to get them friendly again, if only so she could be close to him. James blamed her not. He pitied all who had the misfortune not to have the pleasure of his company. Sirius had gracefully chatted to her a while before James saved him, insisting they had last minute holiday homework to do.

They had gone to their dorm, where the four lads had stayed chatting until darkness fell across the sky. Sirius truly had been extra lively since their return and he seemed to be painting most of his attentions on Remus. James smiled as he thought of it, he knew Sirius was making sure Remy knew he was not to blame and he also knew that Remus was enjoying it far more than Sirius would ever know ... Well, at least until his memory returned.

James checked that Perry was asleep as he slipped the Invisibility cloak and the Map from his trunk. Returning to the Common Room, empty but for his three friends, he threw the cloak over them and they set off for the One-eyed Witch floors below, as near some of their other passages to Hogsmeade, teachers or house ghosts or the caretaker seemed to be too close by, their tiny little dots accompanied by their names beneath them on the map. The two Reficuls were in a room on the third floor standing right beside the hidden passage entrance they would have taken normally, so they avoided it.

Arriving in Hogsmeade, the boys kept under the cloak until they reached the far end of the village, where few students or teachers of their school ever went; they could not risk the chance of a teacher being here. Satisfied the village was devoid of Hogwarts staff, they ducked behind a rather small, two-story stone building and removed the cloak.

It was a bar, 'The Fonne,' the bar they were going to that they stood behind. James hid the cloak behind a beer barrel at the far corner of the flagstone garden, making sure it was one that would not be used this night. The sky loomed dark over head, cast over with dark clouds, threatening rain. He rejoined his friends, chatting quietly and they walked back to the front and entered the pub.

The interior was dark yellow, and musty as ever it was. It was magically larger than the exterior. They faced the stairs at the opposite end of the room upon entering. Brown, shabby chairs decorated a large part of the room with very few people nestled into them and to their left as soon as they walked in, was the bar, stools lined against it and the bartender, a woman with iron-grey hair and a deep-lined cheerful face, lighting up as soon as she saw the boys.

"Sirius! James! Boys!" She exclaimed (James and Sirius had been accustomed to going last year every day but Mondays at times and only because it was closed, which was slightly more than Remus and Peter, who only liked to go normally at the weekends). A few people who had sat, asleep in their chairs, grunted awake at her voice as the room had been silent moments before.

James smiled and Sirius flopped into a stool before her and animatedly told her she was definitely aging backwards and looked at least ten years younger than last time they seen her. She laughed and waved it away, but looked even brighter still for it. She looked at them at length, surveying each in turn. When she looked back at Sirius she said, "Why, you've gotten even taller and more handsome! It has indeed been a while since you were all here, not once this year"  
James shrugged, "Missed us?" He grinned.

Smiling, she turned to him, and gesturing around them, "They aren't exactly a spirited bunch, are they? Of course I missed you all. So, what can I get you?"

"Unfortunately, Madam Fonne," Remus said apologetically and glanced over to the stairs, "we're heading upstairs. Is it busy?"

Madam Fonne looked highly disappointed and glared a moment at the stairs before answering, turning back and smiling less enthusiastically, "Quite. You won't know the new girl there?" She asked.

The boys shook their heads, there was a club upstairs and since they had not been to the pub, they had not been there either. She continued, a scowl replacing her smile, "Yes. She sometimes forgets to renew the silencing charm on the stairs and I get such a fright when that music blasts down..." She smiled again and said, "Well have a good night then. I hope you come to bid me goodnight?"

"We will," said Peter cheerfully. It was a shame leaving her here with that lot, now dozing again, but they had come out to party after all.

On the stairs, they were silent due to the charm on them. James, behind Sirius, saw his eyes light up as they reached they top and he, himself smiled as they looked around. Peter, at the end, let out a small 'oh,' the silencing charm ending abruptly at the end of the banister.

Madam Fonne was severely understating the amount of punters; the room was full and the music blared through them, causing them to cover their ears gently until they adjusted to the volume. But what they were pleased about was, it was Dirty Dancing night, it seemed, as witches and wizards (mostly in their late teens or early twenties) were closely grinding their bodies together, moving dangerously close to one another, lustfully close.

The boys wound their way through the tight crowd, Sirius in lead. James noticed that everyone who was in sight of Sirius were turning their heads and looking stunned at him. He was far more beautiful than anyone in the room, James saw easily. Sirius walked on, indifferent to the staring and James wondered how he did it, took it so unabashed at so many eyes on him. James turned to see Remus behind him. Remus looked frustrated by the attention on Sirius, but when he noticed James looking, he hid the look and smiled unconvincingly. Last thing he needs is more competition for Sirius, James thought, pityingly.

Many in the crowd were breaking away from their partners and pressing themselves up against Sirius, trying to get him to dance with them, but Sirius just gently swept them aside and aimed for the bar at the end instead.

When they reached the bar, it was empty. Or, at least, it looked empty. Sitting at the bar, Sirius tapped distractedly on the surface, and James jumped beside him (as did Remus and Peter) as a young witch stood up from behind the bar, seeming to have been retrieving something from the floor. James' eyes widened, she was very attractive and when her eyes locked on Sirius, she smiled prettily.

She was very curvy, about twenty, wearing a sleeved red top torn across the midriff, revealing a tanned slender stomach, with studded navel. Her hair was a dark brown, curly, with blonde streaks and it framed her pretty heart-shaped face. Full, dark red lips were parted to reveal her perfect white teeth as she smiled at Sirius. Her eyes were a steely grey and she was very sexy. She was lightly smaller than Sirius and was in muggle attire, as staff always were.

James looked to him, he was smiling back at her, "Four Firewhiskys," he called over the noise, leaning in towards her and her leaning into him over the bar. Still, though she was very very gorgeous, Sirius was more so and she obviously was attracted to him straight off. She went off confidently to get them, with one more look over her shoulder at him. All four were now sitting at the bar as she came back and James, looking again at Remus saw he was madly jealous. As James caught his eye, he did not attempt to cover it this time. He looked in a terrible mood.

She stood there in front of Sirius, ignoring all other punters as she watched him taking a swig of his drink. He said, once he'd done, "So you're the new one here that keeps forgetting to silence the stairs?"

"She tell you?" She grinned. Sirius nodded. "Oh, well it gets busy. I forget. Wanna dance?"

Sirius quirked an eyebrow and James smirked, watching the exchange happily. Sirius said, "You not supposed to be serving though?" James was sure Remus let out a relieved sigh beside him. But she laughed.

"Not any more," she said, nodding to the other side of the bar, where a young man had just entered to take over. They knew him and he greeted them as he walked down. "So how's about that dance?" She said, gaining back Sirius' attention.

He smiled, "Yeah, c'mon." Her smile was very wide now and Remus, from beside James, was frowning and James was sorry for him again.

James and Peter watched as Sirius and the girl they learned was called Marissa danced to the new song starting up. Remus was fixedly staring at the bar, unwilling to watch as Marissa ground her hips into Sirius' and dance just as vigorously and dirtily as the most raucous pair in the room. James was glad of his slack robes as he felt a tight erection forming at the sight of his best mate dancing so hotly. Many other eyes were on them, but Remus stubbornly refused the whole night to look. And it really was all the time they were there that they danced, coming back for a break now and again for a drink.

None of them danced the whole night, just watched Sirius. Remus looked thoroughly miserable. "Cheer up, Moony," he said, tearing his eyes away from the mesmerizing pair. Remus didn't even look to him as he murmured, "I'm fine."

When Sirius came over the next time, it was very late. James said to him, "We should go" and he nodded. Remus looked happy until it was dashed by Marissa following them out. Supposing she was just coming to wave Sirius off and tell him she'd contact him, none of them questioned her. They made sure to say good-bye to Madam Fonne, who was not pleased with Marissa. Marissa hadn't replaced the Silencing charm so the pub was full of noise too. It was odd, walking out of the pub, from the noise. On her way out, she silenced it with a flick of her wrist.

The sky outside was already lighter and they stood at the entry a moment, waiting for her to say good-bye. Instead, to Remus' clear distaste she whispered audibly to Sirius, "You could come back to mine" and landed a fiery kiss on his lips. Sirius broke it after a moment.

"Sure," then turned to James, Remus and Peter, "see you in the morning guys." They watched as he walked off with her and they walked round the back to get the invisibility cloak back.

Peter said, "He shouldn't be going off with her," unreasonably. Sirius could do what he wanted. James felt jealous too. He had hoped Sirius would be coming back with them and although he was straight, Sirius sometimes caused him arousal and to feel very possessive. This was one of those times. He couldn't even imagine how Remus was feeling. All of them traipsed back to the castle through the secret passage, considerably less happy than they had felt on their way here and feeling odd with only three of them under the cloak. They hadn't felt that way about Melanie, well, except from Remus. This was different somehow.

None of them were full of their usual happy chattering from their trips as they went to bed that night, all thinking unbiddingly of Marissa slutting herself on Sirius, their Sirius. James suddenly felt it stronger that he wished Sirius was gay, and even with Remus. It sounded right in his head, somehow, Sirius and Remus together. Not Sirius and that slut. Which was unfair, as they didn't even know her.

Dully, they spoke of how tired they'd be during lessons in the morning and avoided wondering aloud whether Sirius would be back in time or not. And one by one they joined Perry McKinnon in his deep sleep.

,--,--,--,--,--,--,


	12. Unusual Detentions

DISCLMAIMER: None of the characters of Harry Potter belong to me.

**NOTE TO ALL**:

Okay guys, the following chapters may be even more shocking, just remember that no matter what, lol, that I love Sirius and Remus and that they are going to have a happy ending, promise you! Well, I've decided that I'm putting up all the chapters now, so I'm not leaving any more cliffhangers coz I think you would hang me with what's coming up if I just left it there, you need to see the outcome of it all.. Remember all the pain they go through is only going to bring them closer together and they are going to have that ending we all want for them ;o). I hope you enjoy the rest of my story guys. Lol this story took me over a year to write! Mostly because of silly school exams and things grr lol. Well, enjoy! P You guys are gonna hate me over the next two chapters lol, but you may fogive me in the end!

Apul-Equuleus: Umm, i dunno about a sequel, i hadn't really thought of one..Hmm.. Well, I definately get what you mean about JKR killing Sirius (lol am so sad, i cried P). I'm putting the characters through quite a lot right now, but keep in mind I wouldn't have anything but a good ending for them all. I would never have any of them dying for real! Can't belive that JKR did, I only hope he's somehow involved in the next book! mwah thank you for your reviews.

Audrey G. Black: Well Isa, lol! I hate her too! I hated her as i wrote her in, nasty witch lol. Bear her in mind too. All is relevant. She will have what is coming to her, Sirius does not have feelings for her, so it is ok P Only Remus for him lol, wouldn't have it any other way! XxXxXxXxX

**Chapter 12: Unusual Detentions**

Remus rolled over on the bed. A hand was gently shaking his arm, but still dazed, he had only just noticed. Turning back and opening his reluctant eyes, he saw Sirius standing there and heard somebody moving in the background.

He sat up as Sirius spoke and saw James was rushing around the room, pulling things from his trunk. "I just got back," Sirius said. "You should get up, we're late."

Remus jumped from the bed and swore, causing Sirius to laugh.

Remus looked to him and said mock accusingly, "Oh, yeah, _you_ might be all right turning up late for Reficul's class," potions was first, "but he might not be so decent with me. Why didn't Peter get us up?" He threw at James across the room as he pulled his own robes from his trunk.

"Dunno, mate. Looks like he got there on time though," James said as he closed the bathroom door behind him.

Remus sighed impatiently as he saw he wasn't getting in the bathroom till Jamie came out and he looked at his magic watch. They were already ten minutes late and would be more once they finally arrived at the dungeons for class. _I'll kill Peter_, he thought as he sat on his bed with a thump. Sirius smirked and sat beside him, falling backwards so he lay stretched out with his arms above his head.

As he looked down on him Sirius yawned and he smiled to hide a thought that waved through him involuntarily, _He's tired because of her ... _

"Are you going to see her again?" He asked, he had to. It was the first thing he wanted to know. Sirius raised himself onto his elbows to look at him.

"Might. What did you think of her?" He asked, taking Remus by surprise. He hadn't prepared an unbiased opinion and Sirius noticed his hesitation.

"You don't like her?" He deduced.

Remus saw that Sirius did not look annoyed or anything, just slightly curious, so he might as well be honest.

"No," he said and Sirius raised an eyebrow for him to continue with a reason. "Well," he said awkwardly, "l didn't really get to know her ... But I thought it was a little -- er -- slutty -- to invite you back to her house only hours after you met her." He expected Sirius to stand up for her or look offended on her behalf, but he just frowned slightly.

"Good point," Remus' heart thundered in relief. "I don't think I'll see her again. She was nice though, but not really my type." Remus watched him and spoke before really thinking.

"What is your type, Sirius?" It was the sort of thing James would have known, or thought he knew, but Sirius and Remus didn't discuss girls often. Remus avoided it whereas James made it his business to ask this sort of stuff.

"To be honest, I don't really know any more. Used to be a curvy girl...long black hair, that sort. Now I don't really have one. Marissa just wasn't it whatever it is."

"Would you ever go out with a guy?" Remus mentally slapped himself for asking. How obvious could he be? _Idiot_, he thought of himself.

Sirius sat up and looked at him amused, "What made you ask that?" Remus cast around for a reason as he looked away from Sirius. Then he remembered something.

"Weeks ago Lewis Macmillan, from Ravenclaw, seventh year? He told me he liked you," Sirius looked slightly surprised. Remus was glad this had come back to him. It was true enough, though he hadn't felt the need to let Sirius know then, it wasn't important. "And guys ask you out all the time. Just wondering," he ended, turning back, calmer.

"I thought he was straight," Sirius said, looking lost in thought. Remus laughed.

"He is. So are most of the guys who fancy you. He's liked you for months apparently," he added, half amused at Sirius' bemusement and half still awaiting his answer.

"Oh," he said. Remus had to ask again.

"Well? Would you?" And he tried not to sound too pushy on the matter in case it was too obvious or in case it would push Sirius to remember Christmas night. Remus felt his breath catch painfully in his chest as he waited. It was not long before Sirius answered, he didn't need time to consider it seemed.

"No," Remus felt his heart sink slowly to his stomach and Sirius continued, "I don't think so somehow. Never fancied a guy, so can't see that happening. You?" Remus gasped.

The bathroom door opened and James walked into the Dorm room. Remus stood up with his robes and happily used this excuse not answer Sirius. Would Sirius have known he was lying if he had said no? Well, there was only _one_ guy he'd say yes to, so it wasn't a complete lie.

He found James and Sirius waiting in the Common Room for him and they strolled down to class, Remus quite having forgotten they were already late and Sirius and James not caring anyway. It wasn't until they wandered into the dungeon to everyone sitting looking up at them that he remembered.

Reficul walked over to them as they sat behind their desk beside a cowering Peter, obviously regretting not waking them up. The whole class looked at them. James and Sirius were still talking to each other, not caring whilst Remus nervously glanced at Reficul, glowering down at him.

"First day back," he snarled at them and James and Sirius stopped talking and looked at him, annoyed for having their conversation disturbed. Remus had to admire their daring. "Already you three decide to make your own time for class to begin." Whilst he said 'three', Remus felt that it was directed only at him as it was him that he looked at.

"Well maybe you should restart the lesson then," Sirius said and a hush fell through the class. James smirked and Remus almost smiled, but dared not give their teacher the fuel he needed to blame him most.

His face turned an ugly shade of red. Had it been him being that cheeky, Remus had a feeling that the teacher would have exploded. Instead he just stared between the three of them for a moment. It was odd, but his face seemed to calm slightly as he looked at Sirius. Fleetingly Remus saw it, an admiration and then Remus quickly looked away as the eyes turned back hateful as they rested on him. He swept up the dungeon to his desk and seemed to be marking them present on the register before looking back up at them, before the class could begin whispering their shock and spoke in a voice much more calmed down. Remus figured he must have imagined the admiring glance. It had been there and gone so quickly he reckoned he must have made it up. Why would he admire Sirius when he was easily the cheekiest of the Marauders to him and hate Remus so much when he wouldn't even dare say such things?

"Detention. All three of you. See me after class. Now -- " He turned back to the class and they set about catching up. Sirius and James did so easily, without even referring to the board but Remus had a harder time, especially when Reficul stood behind him, waiting for some mishap. He just managed it on time for the bell, the bell he had been dreading hearing since finding out they'd have to wait behind.

As the class set about leaving, Peter told them he'd see them later and almost ran from the class before they could be mad at him for not getting them up. They stood at his desk and watched quietly as Reficul packed away a few things. Finally he stopped and sat on his desk, staring at them.

"From now on I want you all here on time or it will be more than detention you get. You might all think that you will be serving detentions cosily together and having a laugh, but no. Not this time. Potter, you will be this week. Black, the week after, then you, Lupin. 6.30, Potter. Now leave." Remus' name, he spat and they didn't need to be told twice before leaving.

"Did I imagine that or what?" Remus asked James and Sirius as they made their way upstairs for break. Stopping outside the Hall, Sirius turned to him.

"Imagine what?" He asked. Remus turned then to James and smiled as he seemed to know what he was talking about.

"The look he gave you," James said to Sirius.

"What look?" Sirius asked.

"And you're meant to be smart!" James exclaimed and Sirius hit him as Remus laughed. "It was weird. Like he was in awe of you or something. Reckon he fancies you... No way he'd let anyone else away with that."

Remus hadn't thought that. He supposed it might make sense. He didn't like it one bit though but Sirius looked at him in disbelief.

"I don't think so, somehow --' He began.

James cut in, "Ah, but I do. Think, _separate_ detentions. So he can get you alone!" James looked delighted but Sirius laughed it off.

"Both of _you_ will be with him on your own. Maybe it's you he likes, Jamie." James looked positively disgusted.

"Nah, we'll stick with you, mate. You'd handle it better anyway ... " He smiled.

"And how is that?" Sirius laughed.

"Come on, Sirius," Remus said, "How many guys have asked you out in the last month then count the amount Jamie's had to turn down."

Jamie smirked and Sirius burst out laughing, barklike as always, "If you say so. Hey, d'you think we'd make a nice couple?"

Remus spluttered, "No!" Sirius and James stared at him in his outburst. He hadn't been able to stop it forming in his mouth, it had come before the thought even had.

"Oh," said Sirius, "I thought we'd look good together too." He pouted and they both laughed at him. When the bell rang he and Remus headed for Divination.

Arriving in the class, Remus sat in the usual clouding mist of scent, easing his mind and relaxing him into staring once more at Sirius. He heard his voice in the distance, chatting in a low mutter at Sirius, "Jamie first in detention means it just me, you and Peter ... And we're mad at Peter ... You and me ..."

Sirius, he vaguely noticed, was frowning at him. As he opened his mouth to reply, Miss Reficul had come over to them. She was blocking the stifling heat of the fire and Remus felt some sense sweep back into him. Looking at her face, he noticed she looked incensed at him, though he hadn't done anything.

"Lupin, for half an hour you have sat there muttering something and not even attempting any single form of divining anything." Remus sat with his mouth open, dumbstruck. He had no reply. And had it _really_ been _half an hour_? He couldn't remember all he had said ... It could have been anything. Even so, half an hour or not, Miss Reficul had never been so cross with him.

"Miss," Sirius said placatingly, "Remus is more affected by the fumes than some, the scent makes him dazed."

Remus was quick to agree, "Yes, sorry Miss, I don't mean it." As she glared down at Remus, she seemed for the very first time to bear resemblance to her brother and her grey eyes blazed as Remus spoke. Remus noticed she glanced briefly at Sirius and breathed out deeply, turning back to Remus and snapping, "Right, try not to do it again. Pay attention." She returned to the front of the class and proceded with the lesson. Fire ablaze and hitting him with its sweltering heat, Remus relapsed into his trance where it was okay to tell Sirius he was happy it was going to be just the two of them.

He was so embarassed on the way back to lunch that day thinking of things he remembered saying to Sirius (even though Sirius didn't mention it or act as though he'd noticed how weird it was) that he didn't even notice bumping into Snape. James had just joined them and Peter was lagging behind him and Snape stood before him as he looked up, face growling.

"Watch where you're going will you Lupin! Oh, and I hope the three of you enjoy your detentions." Remus hated him then. A heat crept up through his body very quickly. He dived forward to where Snape had stepped back from him and immediately felt arms grab at his shoulders, preventing him from doing any damage.

"Remus," Sirius said sharply. Had it been James or Peter, he would have carried on in his struggle. At the sound of the angel, he felt the tense muscles in his arms relax and he leaned back into Sirius. Snape's face dropped the fear and his lip curled at the corner. He turned and fled down the stairs in the Slytherin Dorms direction.

"Not like you to get that angry", said James. "What's wrong?" Before he could say a word, Lewis Macmillan had appeared in sight and grabbed Sirius into a kiss. As Remus' head got around it, Sirius had forcefully pushed Lewis away from him, face angry.

"What the fuck d'you think you're doing Lewis?" Remus didn't see how James' mouth was somewhere near the floor, accompanying Peter's as they watched on as he was busy staring at Sirius and Lewis himself. Lewis had come from nowhere and while Sirius continued to look furious, Lewis looked just as shocked as Peter and James.

"Can I -- can I talk to you?" He finally stuttered. Sirius stepped toward him a little, still mad.

"What, so you can fucking force yourself on me again, I don't think so!" Sirius gave off an irate heat. The other Marauders watched on, unspeaking as Lewis looked regretfully at Sirius and desperately in need of talking to him. It was clear at any rate that Sirius did not like being forced to do anything and that had certainly been a forced situation.

"I didn't mean to do that, I'm really sorry. But I meant to ask a word of you ... I think you might guess what about now ... I won't do that again, please, just hear me out?" Lewis was in despair. Remus was still sure Sirius would say no. He seemed to waver in thought a moment, then spoke.

"Right. Where?" Remus couldn't believe it. Lewis beamed at Sirius.

"Library?" Remus, James and Peter watched on as Sirius wandered off with Lewis, Lewis looking nervously at him and Sirius keeping his head forward, unwilling to look at him.

Once they were out of sight, it must have been at least five minutes that the three boys stood staring at the last spot Sirius had been in view and not speaking a word. Remus hadn't been surprised at how angry Sirius had been at Lewis for, well, attacking him sexually. That's what it had been. But he didn't expect Sirius to agree to a private talk with him after such a short apology. It was James who recovered first, as was usual.

"Now who else thought Sirius would have said no to that?" And he gave a shaky laugh.

"He's too nice for his own good," said Peter, "that Macmillan could try that on again. I know I wouldn't want to hear it."

Remus stayed silent. James looked at him and continued, "Lewis isn't gay..."

Remus spoke then, "Only when it comes to Sirius," and at the enquiring look from James and Peter he said, "He told me some weeks back. He really likes him --"

"We can see that," said James aggressively. "Maybe we should go to the library, head them off returning ... See what he's said to Sirius ... Or done ... "

"No, Jamie," said Remus. "I don't think we should. Poor Lewis must have found that very awkward there ... In front of us. When Sirius rejects him, he'll not want to see the people who get to see Sirius all day long every day now, will he?"

"What do you mean _poor Lewis_," Peter cried, "_Poor Lewis _just flung himself on Sirius!" Remus had his own guilty memories of doing something very similar ...

James seemed to notice the look and said, "Right, we heading up then? Got my detention tonight so I need to get my Potions essay out of the way -- " Peter butted in, not knowing that James was trying for Remus' sake to change the subject.

"What if Sirius doesn't reject him?!" Peter sounded panicky and horrified by the very thought. It was Remus who burst out laughing first, bitterly though it was. James followed it and Peter, realising how ridiculous it was, joined in.

"Nice one, Wormtail," James laughed and Peter seemed glad he'd been fully forgiven.

"I wonder what he will say though ... " Remus thought aloud. None of them thought Sirius would be long. Peter sat by the fire, barely blinking as he gazed at the entrance to the Common Room. Remus' head swivelled around each time the Portrait hole swung open, and was disappointed each time as the face seen was not that of Sirius. James, though having said he had intended to do his homework seemed to be to busy doing the very same thing Remus was doing and stared into the fire between the periods of facing the door. By six, his parchment for homework lay in front of him, blank and still there was no sign of Sirius.

As 6.30 approached, Remus watched James frustratedly throw his parchment and quill on the ground and say he'd better leave to go to detention.

"Tell Sirius to talk to me in the two-way mirror, will you?" He asked, then stormed from the room, leaving Remus to wonder what was in store for him in his detention. What way would Reficul find to punish them? Remus did his homework as he waited even longer for Sirius to come back. What was taking him so long? Long after Remus had finished his, Peter had given up waiting and decided at around eight o'clock that he was going to the library to do his Potions homework, as he didn't have a clue about the properties of an Onyx stone.

Remus was happy for this, as it meant that he and Sirius could be alone when he returned; Peter would certainly take forever to finish the essay. As fate had blessed him for the evening, Sirius entered the Common Room just ten minutes after Peter exited. He hadn't time to catch the expression on his face as before Sirius could make his way over to him, Melanie Brown had jumped up before him, just as though she'd been waiting all that time for his arrival too. She was left looking disappointed as Sirius left her but moments later. He sat across from Remus in the seat James had recently vacated, his face unfathomable and eyes not once finding Remus'.

"What took you so long? Peter and James waited a while for the news, but gave up. Jamie had to go to his detention," said Remus.

"Oh, yeah. Where's Peter gone?" It seemed to Remus that Sirius was delaying telling him about what happened.

"Library for Potions homework. Siri, you were away for hours, why so long? What did he say to you?" Remus had to know. Sirius met his eyes at last and Remus saw a sadness.

"Just wanted to tell me he loved me. How he wakes up in the middle of the night calling out my name. How the boys in his dorm agree with him that they would like to --" He broke off and looked at the floor.

"To what?" Remus prompted. Sirius smirked.

"To fuck me, have me love them, to kiss me, that sort of thing." Remus sat in shock. Sirius sounded so hateful that Remus deplored his questioning. He might as well keep going now though.

"Sirius, it's not the first time you've been told this sort of thing, though, is it?" It was more a statement than a question, but Sirius said no anyway. "Well, why did it take so long for him to say that?"

"It didn't," Sirius replied, "I spent some time trying to convince him I'm just Sirius and he couldn't really love me --"

"And what did he say to that?" Remus interjected.

"He said that he's never loved anybody more in his whole life and that he wanted to grow old with me, love me forever and that nothing and no-one would ever change that and that he'd been wanting to kiss me for weeks upon weeks and he'd like to give me a complimentary blow-job just to see what was on offer -- "

"He _what_?" Remus couldn't imagine Lewis having the courage to say all this to Sirius, beautiful Sirius. Mostly because he would never have the guts himself. Sirius actually laughed now.

"Yeah, didn't hold back, did he?" He laughed again. "I would have laughed myself at the time but he was so serious ... "

"So you spent all those hours convincing him he didn't love you?" Remus couldn't imagine anything Sirius could attempt to say that would convince himself that he didn't love him, so was doubtful he'd managed to convince Lewis.

"No. He wasn't taking any of it, so I had to just leave him in the end, saying sorry but I don't happen to fancy blokes. After that I went a walk to--" He stopped and muted his words, not saying where he went. Remus figured he knew already.

"The old chest in the forest?" Sirius raised his eyebrows in question, he obviously didn't remember taking Remus there at Christmas, so would probably be wondering how Remus knew about it. "You took me there to take my mind off of--"

"Your girl," Sirius said, smiling at remembering. Remus felt that was too close a memory to his kissing him, so brought it back to Sirius.

"But why were you so annoyed about it? Like I said, this isn't the first time it's happened."

Sirius turned quiet. After a minute, Remus thought Sirius must have forgotten he was there or had just asked him a question, but as he was about to repeat it, Sirius answered. "Just something Lewis said. That he'd noticed how I never stick with anybody, always dump them after a short while. He seemed to think he was the one to change it, but I told him he was wrong. He made me think though. I do know why I don't stay with anybody for long."

"Why," Remus asked, very curious about the answer. Sirius looked apologetically at him before he spoke.

"Phoebe Fucirel," he said simply. Remus felt cold and guilt washed over him. Sirius spotted the guilt and corrected him quickly.

"Stop feeling guilty, you know it wasn't your fault. I just mean, she was my longest relationship. We'd gone out for nearly a year... Now you know how long that is for me, who knows how long we'd have stayed together if she hadn't took that dare. Moony! Did you hear me? _She_ took the dare." Sirius said it sternly and Remus shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Yeah, okay. But that doesn't mean you can't stay with somebody now, does it?" He asked.

Sirius shook his head. "No. But that's it. I don't think I want to _stay_ with anybody. I thought I did, but now I know I deliberately force people away."

"Why though?" Remus implored. Sirius shrugged his shoulders.

"Because I can't imagine a single person in the world I'd be able to love," he said. The words stung Remus. _I wish you could love me, Padfoot_, he thought. "I can't imagine actually wanting to be with somebody for more than a month or two at most."

"You will. Just when you meet the right ... Girl." Remus had nearly said his hope, 'the right boy'. Sirius, however sounded his disbelief.

"I don't think so, Remy. But you've found your right girl, haven't you," he asked, suddenly grinning. Remus stared into his shining eyes a moment and looked to the fire.

"Well, I found the love of my life. Doesn't mean they're right for me." To his surprise, Sirius laughed.

"You're so optimistic," he said sarcastically. Remus threw a cushion at him.

"Oh, and I suppose saying you'll never be in love is optimism?" He returned, laughing. Sirius smiled, fending the cushion attack with an arm. He took it and dived from his seat onto Remus, taking him by surprise and batting at him with the cushion.

Most people in the Common Room were staring at them by now. They stopped only when Peter appeared.

"Sirius! What happened?" He then gave them a funny look; Sirius was sitting on Remus' knee (something Remus was blissfully aware of, as was a certain enlarged part of his anatomy) with his legs hanging over the edge of the chair and Remus was now holding the cushion casually (He'd pried it from him easily when Peter interrupted). Instead of getting off of him, Sirius lay back on him and rested his head on the other arm, causing a friction tease for Remus as he shifted about, where he had to grip the cushion to stop himself from emitting any aroused sound.

Sirius stayed there as he told Peter the details. It was the longest erection Remus had ever had and lasted even longer as he didn't move after it either. With each tiny move he made, Remus had to hold in a gasp. Sirius didn't tell Peter all he'd told Remus. He gave him the very basics and admitted only to wandering the corridors of the school afterwards, not mentioning the Forest Trunk.

James returned some time after eleven. He exchanged a significant look with Remus as he saw Sirius lying there. Remus was overcome with contentment that it was with no dread he asked about the detention.

"What did he make you do," he said as Jamie sat in his former chair, grinning at Remus and Remus returning the grin, both knowing how much he was enjoying sharing his seat. Sirius shifted again, to face James and Remus blushed, his heart distending at how wonderful Sirius was making him feel.

"Oh, not much actually. Cleaned out all of these digusting jars he had, filled with repulsive slimy things. He never said a word the whole time, just sat behind his desk poring over this medicine book or summot. I hope it's not that tomorrow again, it was boring, never mind vile. I swear there was this hand thing ... "

James enquired why Sirius had not contacted him with the mirror, to which Sirius had replied that he 'was too busy sitting on a friend to'. Really, Remus had forgotten to tell Sirius at all that he was meant to. James also asked all about Lewis Macmillan and he got no more from Sirius than Peter had heard.

Shortly after James' return, to the discontentment of Remus, Peter suggested they go to bed, probably so he wouldn't get the blame if they did not wake up on time again. Remus hoped Sirius or James would argue they were staying up, but they raised no objection, and so it happened. Sirius left his temporary seat, Remus. He had seemed to Remus, to be made for sitting there. It had felt so complete, having him there and he had felt Sirius was exclusively his. He hadn't even felt the hateful penetrating glares of most people around, Melanie being one of them. This was the way he liked it, when Sirius was comfortable enough to do things like this with him. It was as though he'd never kissed him, as though his wolf form had never attacked him, as though he'd never breathed before knowing him. It was easy to get to sleep that night.

.--.

Sirius sat in the library, reading books from the restricted section. Madam Pince, as severe as she often was, could be talked around to letting him see the books without the signed permission normally required. He was looking up some new jinxes he thought he might test out on Snape and had come alone to do it. James was in detention and he hadn't felt like being with anyone anyway. He felt annoyed as he knew most of the good curses he'd read and also, his attempt at solitude in the school was failing miserably. Since Lewis Macmillan's declaration of love, a lot more people, mostly boys, had been 'accidentally' finding him and asking him out. They would just come over uninvited and sit opposite him, ask what he was up to and if he felt like a relationship with them. Well, mostly not so casually as that. Most of them were nervous wrecks.

Sirius was fine with all the attention normally, in fact, a lot of the time it was even fun, but after having just refused his fourteenth bloke it was wearing on him. He was very close to charming a message onto his head saying 'Determinedly Single' or something like 'I'm Straight!'.

As he flicked the page, he heard the clearing of a throat near him. Sure it was another person asking him out, he looked at the book in frustration, refusing to look up in hope they would get the point and leave him alone.

"Ignoring me Padfoot?" Sirius looked up with a smile. Remus sat down in the very seat all Sirius' admirers had. "You know it's really not nice --"

"Don't milk it," Sirius laughed. "I thought you were another one. I just had another seventh year bloke--"

"Ask you out?" Sirius quirked an eyebrow up.

"Yeah ... " He said. Remus shrugged his shoulders.

"Had five blokes and two girls ask me to ask you out for them. What have you done, it's worse than normal?" Sirius shook his head and chose not to answer. _You should know better than me_, he thought involuntarily. He wouldn't allow that sort of thought to be voiced.

Sirius had lied that he had lost his memory. He remembered everything. Christmas, the Kiss, the realisation that Remus loved him. He just chose not to acknowledge it. Sirius had been pleasantly surprised to find James, his best mate, even believed his lie, he'd thought Prongs would have seen straight through it. He had took the opportunity as soon as he'd seen it. Remus' move on him had almost ruined everything and he was just putting it right for him, saving him from having to be extra awkward around him until he realised that he didn't love Sirius after all.

Sirius ignored the little voice in his mind telling him that after six years, Remus was hardly going to wake up one morning and forget it. He chose instead to act as though it hadn't happened. It was going well so far and he'd been getting closer to Remus, grateful he'd found a way to stop the uncomfortable thoughts they both had had when Sirius had openly known of the love. An end, also to the stupid decision not to talk to each other. He was happy to have his mate back. He was glad, even, that Remus' wolf-form had attacked him and given him this lifeline, never mind it had almost stole his life. He felt too that he should be closer to Remus because it was a sure-fire way to put sense into him. The more he'd see Sirius and his ways, the easier it would be to see he didn't love him. This was how Sirius made sense of it anyway.

"Sirius, do you not think you're dangerous enough without learning more jinxes? Poor Snape'll be wasted permanently if you and Jamie don't back off him," Remus said, nodding towards the book on the table.

"Did you really just say 'poor Snape'? No, must be hearing wrong. And anyway, Snape already looks wasted, anything we do could only be an improvement, he should be thanking us," Sirius returned prosaically, as though it were the most sensible reasoning in the world. He carried on with his reading as Remus smirked.

"So, any of them turned you gay yet?" Remus said quickly. Sirius looked across the table slowly and saw a passing look of regret flit over Remus' face. It was as though he hadn't meant to ask and he promptly blushed as Sirius' eyes fell upon him. Sirius ignored it. It was his thoughts that Remus should get all the blushes out of him, so he could blush away. Soon he'd see it, see Sirius was just Sirius and not what he must think. Remus looked at the table.

Sirius laughed, "Funnily enough, no," he said. Remus didn't look as though he found it funny at all and seemed to have been stamped on before giving a hollow little laugh. "You'd think turning Lewis down would help them get the point, wouldn't you? It seems to have been encouragement instead." Remus' face began turning back it's normal colour.

"So should I not bother telling you who asked you out then?" Remus asked him, his voice quiet and quite unhappy.

"I'd rather you didn't. Are you okay, Moony? You look down," he said. Sirius hated the fact that he was the reason Remus would get so miserable at times.

"I'm fine," Remus said cheerfully. He forced a smile and it was obvious to Sirius it was lies. "Honest, I am. Just thinking of something." _Yeah, me_, said that annoying voice. Sirius dismissed it.

"Maybe you should try get over her then," he said. It was easy to pretend he thought Remus loved some 'her'. Probably, it was so easy because he wished it true. Or even, he wished it would just be some other guy. Remus seemed taken aback for a second at such a blunt comment, then abandoned surprise.

"I have tried that Padfoot, so many times you wouldn't believe it," Sirius frowned at this. "I can't get over...her." Sirius heard the pause before 'her'. It frustrated him more than the words, yet he showed no sign of it.

"C'mon, surely she isn't _that_ special. Maybe you should just see her as a friend," he suggested hopefully. Remus shook his head.

"We are friends," he looked very uncomfortable talking about it, "But Sirius, it's _love_. She's an amazing friend, one I'd die rather than not have," Sirius felt heartened, but the words were hurting him too. He wished it was _only_ as friends. "Sirius, I wish I could say, but I can't. You said you couldn't see yourself with somebody for more than a month or two, I could spend a lifetime with.. Her."

That was not at all what Sirius wanted to hear. He suggested they go back to the Common Room and play chess, to which Remus happily agreed.

The week passed and Sirius and Remus were very close then. Sirius was positive he must be cancelling out Remus' love or lust or whatever it could be and felt it was a good thing that his detention was next, giving Remus space now to see it was good to be without him. On the Monday, his first detention would take place.

He strolled down to the dungeon, dimly remembering in amusement Jamie's words, "_Reckon he fancies you_."

Reficul sat poring over a book, just as Jamie said he'd done all week through his detentions. His blond hair flopped over his hoary face. _Wonder what I'll be doing_, he thought, hearing James' annoyed voice in his head, "_He _did_ make me clean those slimy jars again. That was all week..._"

"Come in Sirius," said Reficul. His harsh voice was softer, kinder somehow. He was smiling, which was something Sirius hadn't seen Reficul ever do that he could remember. "You're late," he announced.

"Guess so," Sirius replied, stirring things and not caring what would happen. He supposed Reficul would get annoyed, maybe shout or add another night of detention. But the smile turned into a grin and he gave a small laugh. Not malicious as he had heard before, genuine.

"Sit down, Sirius," Sirius pulled a seat round to face him. "You know, you remind me a lot of my sister. The way you say exactly what you mean."

Sirius raised a brow, "Miss Reficul, Divination?" This was interesting. It was as though this was a different man he was talking to. If James could hear it, he'd have felt it confirmed that Reficul fancied him, but Sirius didn't believe it as Reficul was comparing him to a relative.

The Professor shook his head, putting his book in a drawer. "No. My youngest sister. There's three. Do you have any brothers or sisters?" He sounded honestly interested. Sirius wasn't too surprised, he didn't think somebody related to Miss Reficul could be entirely an asshole.

"Yeah, a brother, Regulus," he answered contemptfully, swinging back in his chair, "He'll be here next year."

"You don't like him," Reficul spotted. Sirius smirked a no. "I've never had a brother, so I couldn't say what it is like. Well now, should we get started?"

"We?"

"Yes," said Reficul, "I would like you to help me prepare some ingredients for spells, cut them up, that sort of thing."

"What, Jamie cleaned all the jars?" He said, sounding hurt. Reficul considered him, searched his face before brightening with another smile.

"Afraid so. This should be easy enough for you, Sirius," he said, taking out some boxes of ingredients and herbs and such. He set them on the worktop and pulled out some leafy green plants, handing some to Sirius and a knife and taking some himself. "You're easily the best in the class."

Sirius laughed, "What, Snape not Teacher's pet then?" He looked at Reficul. Expecting him to be mad, he awaited his repremand. None came and Reficul looked him seriously in the eyes.

"A secret? I don't really like that kid. I'm not supposed to say. But he is quite obsessed with Dark Arts."

Sirius turned back to his plant and began cutting the roots away. He had not expected detention to go like this at all. James said Reficul hadn't spoken a word to him all through his yucky detention, yet with Sirius, he was helping him, talking with him, slagging off Snape (a bonus no matter who it should come from) and it wasn't a bad detention either. Not to mention he'd complimented him. "Then why do you indulge him in his jokes, laughing away and giving him points?"

Reficul frowned, "Now, Sirius, I'm a Slytherin leader. I would be kicked from the house if I showed any public signs of decency and fairness toward other houses. It's tradition I'm following here." He said it seriously and Sirius stopped cutting his herbs.

"You'd seriously want to stay leader of that house?" Reficul smiled now.

"It's the only House Leader position available to me. I have a tendency to enjoy powerful posts."

"Ah, then you are definitely well placed as a Slytherin," Sirius said. Reficul nodded. He and Sirius chatted all through the very short detention. Sirius was not willing to completely get on with him, it was he who was torturing and snapping at Remus whenever he could after all. But the detention went surprisingly well.

"Sirius, you've only been gone for two hours," James said in the Common Room, tapping at his watch as though it must be wrong. He then looked entertained, "Did you escape?"

Remus stared avidly at him and Peter sat forward in excitement. Sirius sat on the ground, back leaning against Remus' chair and smirked at James. "Nah. Let me go early."

James seemed confused. He said, "What do you mean, _let you go early_?" Peter repeated James' words immediately after and James shot him a scathing look.

"I mean, Prongs," he looked back at Sirius, "that he told me I could go early.

"What had you to do?" A grin spread across his face. "Did he ask sexual favours?"

Sirius looked at James in disgust. Remus shuffled fidgetingly behind him, obviously not liking the thought of it. "Prongs, yuk. Actually, no. I was just cutting up ingredients for potions and that and he helped me and started talking about --"

"Talking?" James called triumphantly. "I knew it! Not a word to me! He _does_ like you."

"What did you talk about?" Asked a voice behind Sirius. Sirius leaned his head back to rest on the chair.

"How he doesn't like Snape," he told Remus.

"He _doesn't_?" Peter implored. Sirius told them all he could remember Reficul saying. By the end, James was even more convinced that Reficul liked Sirius.

.--.

Remus heard the same tale after each of Sirius' detentions. James made sure he heard everything Reficul would say, as though it was a soap opera he was watching and had to keep up with. He was glad for Sirius that his detentions weren't gruelling, as he predicted his own might be. To see Sirius suffer was to suffer himself. He was also happy that Sirius' detentions were so short. After being so close to him during James' detention, Remus had not been looking forward to being apart from him. Remus had been living in a state of ecstasy at finding Sirius getting closer and closer to him. More than ever, he was happy that Sirius did not remember that Kiss. Most days, while Sirius was away, Remus would wistfully think of the first Hogsmeade visit. If only he'd not fainted that day, he and Sirius would have kissed. And Sirius would not have recoiled.

The Marauders, except Sirius, had expected Reficul to act differently toward Sirius. James was constantly on the lookout for any flirting signals, which was beginning to irritate Remus. Reficul showed no signs that he was chatting away to Sirius during detentions in a friendly manner. The only extra words he shared with Sirius were little reminders to Sirius to turn up to detentions. Peter had said to Remus, "_Maybe he'll be nicer to you now._" Peter had been wrong there. He was just as icy with Remus as ever, except maybe less often. He seemed to be less and less standing behind Remus in wait for a slip up on their potions. As a result, Remus was doing better in class.

Monday had returned with a snap. Double potions in the morning had brought a little fearfulness over Remus which only the closeness of Sirius seemed to stem. Remus could feel Reficul's eyes on him all through the class. He didn't approach him once, but it still made him very nervous.

After all his classes, Remus had a lot of this nervous energy and he went to his Dorm because he couldn't stick the buzz around the Common Room. He stood pacing up and down, when Sirius stepped through the door. Remus stopped wearing on the carpet and sat on his bed, smiling as Sirius occupied the space next to him.

"Don't worry about it," said Sirius. Remus sighed.

"Yeah. Only a detention. If he didn't make it clear to me he hates me so much, I wouldn't care." Even as he said it, Remus felt his worries drifting away from him. Sirius was once again sitting on his bed, comforting him, being close to him.

"Worst thing he can make you do is a bit of hard labour for some hours. For a week, then you're out." Sirius said soothingly.

Sirius always made things seem better. Remus' heart lost some mass. "Sirius, you're my best mate you know. Thanks for doing this."

"Doing what?" Asked Sirius, smiling faintly.

"This. Making me feel better. You always manage it, even when I'm really depressed." Sirius fidgeted with Remus' bedcovers. He looked to Remus to be deep in thought about something and there was a small crease in his forehead as he furrowed his brow. "Did I say something wrong?" Remus asked after some minutes. Sirius looked up at him.

"Nah. Anyway, you'd do the same with me."

"I'd do anything for you Sirius," Remus said sincerely. Sirius' face suddenly filled with horror and Remus felt so confused.

"Don't do this again Remus," Sirius said shakily, and Remus was even more confused.

"Don't do what?" He asked. Sirius said, "Oh," and it hit Remus like a ton of bricks. _He remembers!_

"You _know_," Remus breathed in alarm.

Sirius shook his head. "No!"

"Why didn't you say you'd remembered?" Remus whispered frightfully, jumping up from the bed away from Sirius, scared Sirius was disgusted by his presence. Hot tears stung his eyes and flooded his cheeks. He couldn't believe it. Sirius remembered. It was all over for them.

"Because..." Sirius looked guiltily to the floor, not seeming shocked at remembering or anything. "Because I never forgot in the first place."

Boom. Remus watched his world crumble from a distant terrace, overlooking his life. There was Sirius, sitting all ashamed at his revelation and himself, mortified and turning to sprint from the room, leaving a disembodied voice calling his name after him. Then, in the Common Room James' voice shouting after him. He ran from the room. Fled from the Gryffindor Tower and sped downwards. Down sets and sets of staircases.

Tears splashed across his face and he ran into a classroom where, sitting at his desk sat a blond-haired man, bent over a desk, deeply involved in a book.

Reficul looked up at him and seeing who it was, snarled. He took in Remus' state and sat, unflinching, uncaring. A sneer erupted on his lips, "Lupin, you're early for once. And I'm glad to see you're unhappy to be here. Don't sit down!" He cried as Remus made for a seat, resenting the teacher. Remus stilled himself and turned around, still crying and letting the tears flow freely. He had more important things than Reficul to care about. Why he'd ran there, he didn't know, his feet had led the way.

"And why not?" Remus shouted. Reficul's face contorted into a malignant grin. He stepped around from his desk, looking awfully pleased about something.

"We're not staying here, Lupin," he said venemously. "Follow me." Reficul left the class and Remus tailed him.

Remus' mind raced over things. _James did his detention in class. So did Sirius. Sirius... _His head was pervaded with thoughts of Sirius then. He distractedly kept up with the teacher, not looking where he was going, just keeping up with him as well as the thoughts in his head. He continued to cry.

_Sirius never forgot. Sirius faked it. Sirius knows I love him, he's known all along. He pretended to forget because he can't stick the thought that I like him like this_. Pain ripped it's way through his soul, tearing and wounding as it circled him like a vicious vulture, pecking unpityingly at his heart. Clawing and biting.

The Sun scorched Remus as a cloud shifted in the sky. He was almost running to keep pace with Professor Reficul as they sped across the vast castle lawn, and disappeared through the gate leading to Hogsmeade.

Remus stumbled on as Reficul marched ahead. His eyes, bleary, did not register what views were in front of them and he did not notice himself being lead far into the pleasant wizarding village. _He wishes I didn't like him..._

Remus heard Reficul turning a key in a lock in front of them, they had stopped in front of some building. Remus was surprised when he walked in after the teacher to find he was standing on the ground floor of The Fonne bar. Remus' thoughts finally settled on the place he stood in.

"Why are we at The Fonne, Professor?" He asked and Reficul stood close in front of him, face almost touching his and he smirked.

"This is where you are doing your detention tonight, Lupin," he said. Some manic glare had found Reficul's eyes and stolen over them. Remus took a step back.

"But Sirius and James had their detentions in class," Remus whispered, looking around the empty bar. The Fonne was always closed on a Monday and looked eerily quiet without even the dosing customers or the humble Madam Fonne. He shivered, being alone with Reficul was making him suddenly nervous. He did not feel entirely safe. Reficul laughed a low harsh laugh and his eyes lit up.

"They did, but you are not. Follow me," Reficul said simply and turned toward the stairs leading to the club with a swish of his cloak. Remus followed on at a slower walk, regretting having come down early. The tears were drying now on his cheeks and whilst their reason for being there still burned painfully in his head, he pushed it aside as he concentrated on the present horror of a situation.

He followed Reficul over to the bar and watched as the Professor leaned over it. Remus didn't know how to feel as up popped Marissa, the barmaid, mimicking the first time he seen her before serving the Marauders. Marissa nodded acknowledgement to him and smiled as she turned to Reficul. Remus listened, confused, as Reficul spoke to her.

"Now, Marissa, I'm going to go back to Hogwarts for a while, I trust you can handle _this_," pointing to Remus, "while I'm gone?" Marissa glanced at Remus and said,

"Yeah, we'll be fine, see you when you get back," she replied. Remus felt glad on the one hand that Reficul was going and somebody else at least was here, but he couldn't feel too happy that it was her. Just looking at her was bringing many unpleasant thoughts into his head of things she and Sirius got up to, then the whole thought of Sirius at all burst forward again and he hurriedly wiped a tear from his face. Reficul nodded at her, then left.

"You coming then?" She asked Remus and she led him towards a door, just off from the bar.

"Marissa, how do you know Reficul?" Marissa froze, her back to him. When she turned, her face was blank.

"Oh, we're related," she said casually, turning the door handle and leading Remus in. "When he asked me if there was anywhere he could hold a detention outside the school, I told him he could use the bar, I'm doing the books anyway, so I gave him a spare key."

Remus stopped short at the door, "You're _related_," he gasped. She turned her steel grey eyes on him and he saw at once their resemblence to both Mr and Miss Reficul.

"Yes," she answered. She turned back and gestured him to come into the room. He hesitated and stepped through into a brightly lit pale green room with a bare concrete floor. It was huge, but had only a few items of furniture; a counter lined the furthest wall in the long room and in one corner stood a desk and chair. The only other thing from this was a tattered old cupboard. The cupboard looked odd, so shabby compared with the rest of the room, with the new metallic desk and the clean paint on the wall and also with the clinically clean worktop. Remus was unsure what to make of it.

"Did Sirius know you're related to Reficul?" He asked warily. Marissa whipped back to face him at the mention of Sirius, which was a painful topic for Remus to bring up. Her face brightened up.

"No, he didn't. How is he? I haven't seen him since ..." She seemed to lose herself in the memory of the night she spent with Sirius and Remus cleared his throat to bring her back.

"He's fine. Do you know why my detention is here instead of at the school?" He asked her. She came out of her reverie.

"Dunno. Maybe thought you'd be less comfortable away from the school so you would take it more seriously. Says to me earlier you've been a particular bother in class." Remus choked back.

"What? I don't -"

"Anyway," she cut over him, "we'd better get this started. He won't be back for a while." Remus walked with her over to the sparkling white worktop and leaned against it as she brought out some things from the cupboard. She sat them down on the table; a massive book, a few quills and an A4 lined notepad. Remus pulled a seat from under the counter.

"It's just a matter of copying from the book for now, and you'd better go quick 'cos Algen will not be happy if you've done no work for his return."

"But that book must be over five hundred pages," Remus exclaimed at her. She laughed with a nod.

"Actually it's six hundred and something," she said, pushing the heavy book towards him. Remus gasped as he turned the book over. The title read, "The Death Penalty for the Werewolf; A Century of Torture." Remus recoiled from the book and turned, feeling very startled, towards Marissa. She looked innocently upon him, with a faint trace of joy in her cold grey eyes. "A problem?" She asked sweetly.

"What the hell is this all about?" He cried at her. She frowned at him, turned the book towards her and pretended to read the cover; she had clearly already noticed.

"I'd say werewolves," she dryly remarked. Remus dropped his jaw. "Well, you should probably get started, it _is_ an awfully large book. And I would try to take it in if I were you, Algen may ask you some questions later."

Remus turned his back on her, hardly able to believe how horrible she was. That she was related to Reficul, that Sirius slept with her. _Sirius_. He sighed as the pain redoubled for him. And it probably shouldn't have come as such a surprise that this would be his detention, it was a weak spot for him, his lycanthropy, and Reficul had certainly picked a topic that would normally have hurt him. But really, Remus wasn't able to think of anything but Sirius just now, so he pulled the book towards him again and began writing from the first page, 'Werewolves have been openly feared and hated by wizards for centuries and, until recently, wizards had the right to kill anyone proven to own this dangerous burden ... '

Had Remus been thinking properly, he may have connected some clues together and realised he was in danger, with no protector to keep him safe. But as Remus wiped away tear after tear, hour after hour, none of this occurred to him. All that played on his mind was Sirius-related worries.

As the hours went on, his notepad became filled more and more with various cases in which werewolves were slaughtered by cruel methods. One case he copied involved two werewolves being caged in together and watched by jeering crowds as they fought to the death, the winner being killed soon afterwords. It was sickening to read, but Remus could hardly care at all if he was caged to fight to the death. He was steadily sinking into a mood of deep depression as he saw a life with no Sirius facing him. It was impossible. All the while, Marissa sat at her desk, doing the books for the club.

As he turned the page, a shadow suddenly crept up his book and over the worktop. He turned just in time to see a large plank of wood speeding towards his face, and as it connected, all became dark ...

,--,--,--,--,--,--,


	13. An Ironic Way To Die

DISCLMAIMER: None of the characters of Harry Potter belong to me.

**NOTE TO ALL:** Lol, don't be too alarmed by the chapter title!!!! Dramatic me lol.

**Chapter 13: An Ironic Way to Die**

"I thought Remy would have been back ages ago," James said as he joined Sirius at the window. Sirius frowned as he stared across the darkened lawn. Peter joined them moments later.

"Why do you think Moony hasn't returned yet," he asked James and Sirius. Sirius sunk into the window seat and James and Peter crashed out on the ground before him.

Sirius had not told either of them yet about what had happened in the Dorm, where he had let Remus know he knew he loved him. He had been staring out of the window for a long time. James had questioned him why Remus had run from the Common Room before, but Sirius had kept it to himself, feeling it was too private for now and he'd like to speak to Remus first before revealing anything.

But this was all hours ago and Remus should have been back before now. Sirius had already watched a blood-red sun sink low in the hot pink sky and disappear beyond the horizon, and he was beginning to worry that Remus might not return to the Gryffindor tower to face him. He stared guiltily at the ground.

"Dunno Peter," said James, "his detention should have finished by now. I know Reficul doesn't like him, but he wouldn't keep him this long, would he?" Sirius looked at James.

He murmured, "Remus might not want to come back here tonight, Jamie. I don't think he wants to see me after what happened earlier ... "

James whipped his head around to look at him suspiciously, "What happened earlier? Is it to do with why Remus ran out of the room?" Sirius looked between them. Peter sat filled with curiosity whilst James looked at him with an accusatory stare. The worry inside him was growing somewhat rapidly and he knew it was time he told them.

"Prongs..." He said, running a hand through his hair. "After what happened in the Shrieking Shack, I said I'd lost my memory. Earlier, I admitted by accident to Remus that I'd lied. I remember everything --"

James sat in shock and interrupted, "Christmas? The kiss?" He cried out in disbelief, his expression horrified. Peter seemed to be very confused; nobody had told him any of this, so he didn't have a clue what they meant.

"What about Christmas? What kiss? Do you mean when Lewis kissed Sirius?" Peter asked quickly. Sirius and James ignored him and stared at each other.

"You mean you lied, Padfoot? You've known all this time that he loves you?" James asked in a whisper. Peter was all the more confused by it.

"Sirius didn't lie. He already told us that Lewis loves him --" Again, they ignored Peter as Sirius answered James.

"Well, I couldn't stick not talking to him. You've seen how he flinches every time I go near him or goes red. Is it not bad enough how awkward he is with me at times when he didn't know I remembered? Do you really think we could have been normal with each other after I found that out?"

"But you couldn't have pretended forever, could you? Pomfrey says your memory loss was only temporary anyway. Were you planning on bashing your head every month or so to keep acting like your memory was gone?" James said heatedly.

"Don't be stupid," Sirius cried, "I didn't know what I was going to do." Sirius lowered his voice again as he saw some people staring over at them. "I - I just figured I wouldn't have to. I thought that he'd get over it, realize how stupid it was to like me like that or that he doesn't really at all -- "

"What," James shouted, standing up, attracting the attention again. Sirius gave him a stern look so he'd be quiet. "Sirius, he continued, "you thought he was going to _get over it_? Siri, do you not get it? He _loves_ you!"

Sirius looked away as James said it. All sorts of emotions were bubbling up inside of him at those words. He couldn't make most of them out, but he distinguished one of them as being confusion. Confused as to why Remus liked him so much, when he was only supposed to like him as a friend. "James ..."

"Lewis told Sirius he loved him _after_ Christmas. What do you mean, and what is it to do with Remus?" Peter said, standing up too and demanding to be told. It then seemed to dawn on him, his mouth sank open. "You mean ... _Remus _loves -- "

"_Yes_ Peter," James snapped. "And Sirius knows that fine well." Sirius couldn't look at James. "And I know fine well that Remus told you, Sirius, that he'd loved 'her' from the first time he saw 'her'. Now you know it means you, and you _really_ thought he would _just get over it_?" James fumed at him.

"That's what I was hoping, James!" Sirius shouted, startling people in the room, including James and Peter. He calmed himself and spoke again, "How would you feel if you found out I loved you? Or Peter loved you, or Remus? Do you think you'd just say, 'Oh well, let's go get some lunch' or something? Would you not feel like shit because you know you can't love them back, no matter how much you know it's gonna hurt them? Knowing that _you_ were the reason they feel miserable sometimes. He's one of my best mates, James, and when he kissed me, I knew it couldn't go back to normal. How could it? I'd seen how heartbroken he'd been over that 'girl.' I spoke to him about it and he was in a wreck over it at times. You know that James. So if I can't feel the same about him, how were we meant to go back to normal, with m knowing that and him feeling embarrassed to be near me?"

James' face had softened in sympathy as Sirius had spoken. "You could have talked to him about it," he said flatly.

Sirius gave a hollow laugh, "Oh, of course. Okay, Remus, mate, I know you love me and everything, but you're just gonna have to get over it or something, 'cos to be honest I'm not really gay ... How's about a nice game of Gobstones, then -- "

James closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands. "Stop it Sirius," he said from behind them, "I get the point." He lowered his hands again, looking exhausted. "But this way hasn't worked either, has it? Maybe Remus is still in detention and has every intention of coming back up here."

"I'm going down to Potions class. I can't stick waiting here to see if he turns up or not," Sirius said and stood up, starting to walk away. He looked back as he saw James walking behind him, followed by Peter.

"We're coming too," said James and Peter nodded. Without speaking, Sirius led the way out of the Gryffindor Common Room.

Sirius broke into a run half way there and Peter, at least, struggled to keep up with him. Arriving at dungeon class, they all ran in. Reficul started as he looked up at them all, whilst they stared around the room.

"Sir, where's Remus?" Sirius asked him hastily once they had caught their breath. The Professor walked around from his desk, surprised to see them.

"Lupin left detention about," he consulted his watch, "one hour ago. He did his detention and left." Reficul looked curiously at them all as their faces dropped. "Why, has he gone missing? Has something happened? He seemed upset about something when he came down here ... He was early ... "

"Upset?" Sirius asked quietly. "An hour ago?" Reficul nodded at them, still looking between them, as though waiting for some explanation. Sirius didn't give it to him, he left the room again and heard on his way out as James spoke to the Professor, 'If you see him, let him know we're looking for him --'

Sirius walked towards the stairs, beginning to panic. _What if he does something stupid,_ he thought. With a jolt to his heart, some alarming words came back into his head. Remus and he had been speaking of the 'her' Remus loved and he had said to Sirius, '_She's an amazing friend, one I'd die rather than not have.'_

As he began to run again, up the stairs, he felt a hand grab his arm, preventing his progress. He turned angrily to see James holding him back, a tight grip on him.

"Where are you going," James asked as Peter came to a halt behind him. Sirius was feeling very impatient.

"Let go, I'm gonna look for Remus --" he said and he made to break free of his grip.

"Sirius," James said sharply, "stop!"

"Let - go!" Sirius cried and broke free, running back up the stairs. James ran up behind him and Sirius' arms were too far away to reach, so he dove forward and caught Sirius around the shins with his arms, bringing Sirius to land on the step before him with a thud. "What are you doing?" He shouted, "Remus might be doing something stupid to himself! He said he'd rather die than not have the person he loved as a friend, he thinks we aren't friends, he might try to ... Let me look for -- "

"No, Sirius! Can you just think for one second? I doubt you're going to find him by running in and out of all the classes. Hogwarts is kind of massive, it'd take forever."

"-- I DON'T CARE!" Sirius yelled. "I'll take as long as I need!" He began struggling up again and Jamie put all his weight on him, shouting for Peter to help him. Peter looked very reluctant to hold Sirius down, and he hesitated before eventually helping him.

"By the time you get to one room, he could be moving about in one you've already checked. I doubt you'd find him. Sirius, I told you to _think_. There's an easier way. You seem to be forgetting -- "

"The Map!" Sirius cried, stopping his attempts at escaping. James and Peter let him go.

"Right! And I don't think he'd do anything stupid anyway ..." But James was clearly beginning to worry too as his voice was full of doubt. Before they could say anything else, Sirius had begun running up the stairs again. James chased up behind him, not in attempt to stop him, just to keep up so they could get to the Marauders Map with him and see where Remus was. Peter was way behind, and wasn't even in view most of the time as he couldn't keep up their pace.

When they got to the Common Room, they darted up the stairs to their Dorm, Sirius in lead. He dived on the ground at James' bed and flung open the lid of his trunk, whipping out the blank parchment.

James sat down beside him as Sirius frantically called, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good," touching his wand tip to the parchment. _If anything happens to him _... Sirius was thinking as he waited on the lined of ink spread across the page to form the Map they had created. Before it had all appeared, the door burst open and they looked up hopefully, very disappointed to find only a heavily panting Peter.

Sirius scanned the page very quickly, every inch from the center to the edges. None of the many titled dots bore the name of Remus Lupin. Sirius began to shake and Peter, too, sat down to check the page. Sirius let the paper fall out of his hands and crumpled over on the floor, his back against the trunk. James picked up the paper and continued to look it over, but it was no use as Sirius knew Remus wasn't on it, not in the school or on the lawn, neatly drawn on the page to the very edge of the forest.

James handed it to Peter and sat against the trunk beside Sirius, placing a comforting hand on his arm. Peter looked up at them, still panting and said in a small voice, "Does the Map not only show people who are alive ... ? What if --" he began, worriedly.

Sirius and James were not startled at this. James reminded Peter, "The ghosts show up on it, Peter and don't think like that! Remus is fine."

"But he's not on the Map! Peter said. Sirius' head was buzzing with horror and Peter's stupidity was not helping things any.

"It only means he's not in the school," James said and Peter let out a small relieved 'oh.'

"What are we going to do?" Sirius said in frustration. He looked at James. "If he does anything ... It's because of me. Why could I not just have tried harder to accept it?"

"Stop blaming yourself for this, Siri," James said. "Remus probably just wants some time away from here. He'll be back later ... Or tomorrow. I'm sure he will. We just have to wait, it's all we can do."

Sirius knew he was defeated. He'd never felt so helpless before and stared, beaten at last, at the ground. He was lamentably aware of how right James was. For a long time they sat slumped against the trunk, just waiting to hear the door open again, but the only other person to enter the room at all was Perry McKinnon and he went straight to bed. So all they could do was wait.

.--.

Remus, unable to open his eyes, felt an acute pain across his face. He had just woken up and was in a desperate daze. Each time he tried to open his eyes, a dazzling light swept in, willing them shut. He had no idea where he was or how he had got there. Obscurely, he began to feel a tense pain travel through his arms and as he tried to move them, he realized they were behind his back and couldn't move -- they were tied together!

Alarm coursed through him as his mind raced to determine what was going on. He had been in his Dorm, worried about his detention when Sirius had come up to see him. Suddenly, like a rapid water, his memory swam back to him. He started and hit his aching head against something metal behind him. Using his hands, he felt it was a pole.

Calming himself, he tried to open his eyes again. The world was a blur. That light burned his eyes again, but, in a haze, he began to see the room in which he sat on the floor, quite alone and tied to a supporting pole of the clean worktop behind him. The last thing his conscious mind had seen was that wooden plank speeding towards his face. Sure enough, the plank lay a few meters away from him. Marissa had knocked him out!

Remus felt all the panic he ought at this, but still his mind was as bleary as his vision was. He had felt he must have been deafened by the blow because of the complete silence, but he began to hear a distant noise. It was getting closer and as Remus blinked at the room, he noticed that Marissa must be outside it. Why had she hit him? Remus was too confused to think of it, or anything but that noise growing closer to the door.

It was a voice. As it seemed to stop outside the door, the voice became clear and defined.

The cold drawl of Professor Reficul, his potions master, was the owner of the voice. Remus strained his ears to hear what he was saying.

"Yes, yes. They've just been looking for It. We should be thankful you thought of it, Selina. I certainly hadn't thought about them coming to look for It because It didn't return, it would have looked very suspicious had I not been there." Reficul sounded satisfied. Remus knew then that there was likely to be three wizards outside the door. It was confirmed when another voice told him Marissa was still present. The 'It' they spoke of, he didn't need to guess, referred to himself.

"Oh, It doesn't deserve to have Sirius as a friend," Marissa said bitterly. _Sirius_, Remus thought. It was more painful than the pain caused by the blow to his head. How horrible it was to think they would be silent with each other again. It didn't cross his mind to think he might never see him again, after tonight. The voice of Selina Reficul put a stop to his flow of thoughts.

"But Algen! They might be suspicious anyway. You were the last to see It at It's detention, they might go to Dumbledore and tell him!"

"Calm down, Selina. It seems this might have been a cause for alarm, for we really didn't think of that. But we've had a wonderful stroke of luck. You must have seen how upset It was when It came in earlier, Marissa? Something must have happened with It's friends to cause It upset, for they seemed very anxious about It already when they came to look for It. You see, they'll think It has run off because It was upset, they won't suspect a thing!" After his malicious delighted speech, three horrible sets of laughter buzzed outside the room. So The Marauders would think he had run off because Sirius had told him he hadn't lost his memory!

There was nobody to save him, and his protector probably didn't care anyway. _But that's not true_, he thought, _Reficul just said that they came looking for me... He must still care._ It was comforting to think, more than it should have been in such a situation as his. He should have been panicking more, but what could he do? What was even going on? Why had they tied him up?

The door swung open and in walked the blurry figures of Marissa, accompanied by his two teachers.

"It's awake!" Marissa excitedly exclaimed as she looked over at him. Had his senses been somewhat sharper, he may have pretended to still be unconscious. That way, he may have found out more, their plans for him...

All three walked over, Algen Reficul with a wide grin, and as he looked at Remus he said, "I see you've now met all three of my sisters." _Three?_

"Marissa?" He asked, his voice hoarse from lack of use. Reficul nodded assent. But still it didn't fully make sense. "But that only makes two sisters."

"Oh, It is stupid, isn't It?" Reficul said and his sisters smirked. "No, _werewolf_, perhaps _you_ wouldn't remember. Doubt you'd even think of her at all," he said sourly and Remus didn't understand what he meant. He rambled on, "But, yes, you met all three of my sisters. Granted of course, you haven't seen my youngest for about four years..."

"I don't know who you mean," said Remus, struggling with his bonds behind his back. They were all snarling at him and before he could blink, a foot swung towards his side as Marissa had walked to the side of him and delivered a painful kick. He cried out in pain and more malevolent laughter was to be heard.

Selina retrieved the seat at the desk on the far corner by the door, whilst Reficul went to the cupboard. He watched them in silence. Marissa sat in the chair provided and Selina approached the cupboard too, saying behind her, "Feel free to do that again if It moves, Marissa. Or, for the fun of it if you wish." It was in a tone, wholly unlike anything Remus had ever heard her use in class.

Marissa grinned, "As fun as it was, I don't really like having to touch It." Remus didn't know what he could do. Selina turned back with an appreciative nod at Marissa. Remus turned his attention on the cupboard.

Reficul carried out a large cauldron and carried it to the worktop to the right of Remus, whose back was still turned to it. Behind him, Selina was carrying a large jug of water in one hand and a strange plant with pointed leaves and weird fruits in the other, also setting it down on the worktop. It occurred to Remus to ask what it was for and what they were going to do to him.

More laughter followed his inquiries. On receiving no answer, he repeated only to make the laughter louder. He remained ignored and instead, decided to twist around to see what they were doing beside him.

Selina had her wand out and was conjuring up flames beneath the cauldron and more to his alarm, Reficul had a 6-inch knife that he seemed to have had in his robes, glistening in his hand. He couldn't see what he was doing, but he saw that Reficul was cutting something, which he believed to be the plant. Selina had the water in the cauldron now, and seemed to be bringing it to the boil, stirring it magically with her wand.

"Marissa," called Reficul to his sister, "come take over this, will you." Marissa immediately walked over and Reficul instructed her, "Just add this gradually and stir for a while until the mixture turns a dark sort of emerald colour. I'll fill the werewolf in..." Remus cowered slightly, forcing his back into the pole to back off from the mad professor. Reficul noticed and seemed pleased at the reaction as he sat in the vacated chair.

"Yes, werewolf, you are right for once. You do have reason to cower -- "

"I wasn't cowering!" Remus said defiantly. Reficul smiled.

"I expect lies from a werewolf. I assure you, you cowered. I suppose you might have guessed why you are here then?" Remus didn't like to admit it, but to Reficul's delight, he shook his head. It was the only way Reficul would tell him.

"No? Then I suppose you didn't guess who I meant earlier." Remus looked away from the delighted teacher. Reficul began his shocking story.

"People aren't always who you think, werewolf. No, it's quite easy to change your identity as a disguise. So Selina and I found out anyway. Perhaps you might like to know who we really are. May I introduce us?" Reficul pointed first to his sisters in turn, then to himself as he said, "Marissa, Selina and Algen. Algen Fucirel."

Remus veered his head quickly back to face him. He obviously hadn't heard properly. "Algen who?" He asked. Reficul laughed. He turned to his sisters.

"Looks like you struck a nice blow with that plank, Marissa. It seems It can't hear correctly." He turned back to Remus. "Fucirel, werewolf. Reficul's an anagram, the disguise we've gone under. All necessary."

"You mean Phoebe -- "

"Is the third sister, yes." Remus' head was spinning. "And don't think you're worthy to say her name... You who took her from us!" Reficul said, getting quite angry very quickly. He took his turn in kicking Remus now, this time to his head as his sisters watched in contentment. Remus recoiled from him as much as he could. _It's because she was their sister..._ Remus thought as the pain shot through him once again. Reficul returned to his seat.

"We'd have done this long ago had we known... I was quite impatient when we first found out. Selina wished to teach here, where Phoebe had gone. She knew Dumbledore wasn't likely to take her on if he knew she was only here out of sentiment. That's why she changed her identity. It was all simple and we're very thankful she did. Else, none of this would have worked.

"When she got here, she found even more reason to understand Dumbledore wouldn't have taken her on, knowing who she was. It's something you don't expect to hear about a person you love. 'Sorry, but your sister received a fatal blow to the head by a thrashing tree.' But the family weren't told that there was a person to blame though.

"All teachers at Hogwarts are told of the werewolf in the school and where it is smuggled every month," Remus flinched. "When Selina began teaching, she was told everything. That the Whomping Willow was there because of a werewolf -- "

"Because of you!" Selina suddenly shouted, diving on Remus and attacking him with her fists, scratching at him and punching. Remus tried to lower his head away from her clawing and closed his eyes. It stopped and he looked up to see Reficul holding her back, shouting in her ear. Marissa stood, watching in shock.

"Selina! We've waited too long for this, now we're doing this as planned. He'll get what he deserves, don't you worry." Remus' Divination teacher stilled and returned to the worktop, discomposed, as Reficul yet again returned to his seat and continued his tale.

"When Selina told us, our plan came into existence, as did another 'Reficul'. Me. I was perfectly qualified to become a Potions Master, but Hogwarts already had one. Luck favoured us yet again, with thanks to a man called Voldemort. It seems we owe him quite a bit -- "

"He killed Professor Melbourne?" Remus cried out in shock. Reficul smiled dreamily. It was disturbing to see.

"That would have been kind, but no," he said. "He more...made things convenient! Yes, easier for sure. I don't suppose you'll have heard about all the 'mysterious disappearances'? They suspect he may be the source of all the murders and it's a very helpful supposition that he might have killed Professor Melbourne. Though, only I can truthfully claim the honour of that one."

"You?" Remus whispered, traumatized. Reficul bore the look of utmost satisfaction.

"You only have yourself to blame, werewolf. None of this would have happened had you not insisted on presenting yourself to a school. A beast should be caged, not socializing with humans."

"I am human!" Remus said. Reficul's face twisted in disgust.

"If you were human, _I'd_ be ashamed to call myself one. As you are not, I'm quite happy, thank you. How is that coming along Marissa?"

"I'd say it's ready, Algen. It's just this moment turned a dark emerald, as you asked," Marissa replied.

"What is that being made?" Remus asked, worried, "What are you going to do to me?" Reficul glared at him with his cold steel-grey eyes and chose not to answer at once.Instead, he left his seat to check Marissa was right.

"Good," he said, "this will be fine. Leave it to cool now." Reficul moved the chair back up to it's desk and came back, pacing a short distance in front of Remus, agitatedly impatient. Quite abruptly, he looked down at Remus, snarling again.

"I'm getting quite excited, you know! All year I've been planning this! And now, it's finally happening. We're finally going to kill you." Remus started and Reficul's sisters lined beside him. "It took a while to decide how to do it. When I found this way, I couldn't help but laughing, it's perfect! Have you ever heard of the Wolf's Bane plant, the Monk's Hood plant, werewolf?" Remus shook his head miserably.

"That _does _shock me. Wait to you hear it -- it's quite ironic. You have quite the unknown connection to this plant already. There are actually people in the world trying to cure your monthly afflictions of being a werewolf, help your transformation along a bit. An almost cure, if you like. An untested one has been spoken of, coming directly from the very plant we have here tonight.

"But don't suppose you're here to be cured, our intentions are all on murder, like I said. It is a plant of many names you know. Just like ourselves really," he smiled at his sisters who simpered beside him. "It also goes by the name of the Aconite plant. Whilst the plant can be helpful, as mentioned, there is also a poison in it. Contained in an alkaloid of the plant. It is this very poison by which your death shall be thankful for tonight!" He said delightedly. Remus felt sick to the stomach. Reficul didn't stop.

"Even better," he said, "It's a slow-acting poison and should be more effective on a werewolf. A small dose is quite harmful, large doses are lethal. No prizes for conjecturing as to the amount you will receive. A large dose."

"Algen," said Selina, looking on the worktop, "I think that will have cooled by now." Reficul went to the cupboard and procured a flask, into which he began to pour the Aconite Poisoning. He brought it over and crouched on the floor by Remus, who was slowly edging away from him.

"I'm not taking it!" Remus called. Reficul backhanded him and his head smacked again off of the pole.

"We're not stupid, werewolf. We didn't expect you to open your mouth willingly," Reficul raged. "Selina." Selina took out her wand and said something that Remus didn't catch. He didn't need to know what she had said to know what the spell did. As soon as she had uttered her words, Remus' mouth had sprung open, wide. He tried desperately to close his mouth, but his jaw stayed firmly in place, refusing to shut. He cried out in panic and Reficul took advantage of his panic and tilted his head back, forcing the lukewarm liquid into his mouth.

Resolved not to swallow it, Remus was very surprised to fine he did so and realized in his thrashing about wildly that her spell had covered this too. It seemed to take forever, but Reficul emptied the contents of the flask down his throat. The last swallow went down before Remus' attempt at spitting it out could be achieved. Reficul stood back up happily.

"Let me tell you your approaching symptoms. Initial symptoms include a tingling in the mouth and throat, followed by a numbness and an eventual suffocation of the victim, that's you." He said it in a matter of fact tone, full of delight and as Remus heard it, true to the professor's words, he began to feel a strange tingling on his tongue.

"Oh, so it's started," Reficul said excitedly in his drawl, catching Remus' expression of horror. "To think, something which might soon help your transformations as a wolf is the very thing which is going to kill you. I love irony, don't you?"

"It's a shame in a way though," began Selina in a cold voice, "that the poison takes a while to take full effect. Not that any more suffering to It is bad, just annoyed that we can't stay here and take full pleasure in seeing it happen. Suppose we're leaving him now?"

Remus' legs began to numb. They felt very heavy. He looked at them in horror, then back at Reficul. His eyes were glittering horribly and he moved to the worktop to retrieve something shiny. It was the knife!

Remus tried to move, but found his legs were stiff and it was spreading slowly upwards. Reficul brought the blade down to his face and ran it across it. His sisters cried out in protest.

"You said, Algen! All to plan!" Marissa called. Reficul merely lowered the blade down Remus' face and behind his back, and, unexpectedly, he cut the rope bonds holding him. "What are you doing?" His sisters cried together.

"He's going numb," he simply replied, they all looked at Remus. His lack of struggling proved him correct. "He's not going anywhere. Is it not funnier this way? Watching him trying to struggle when he can barely move? I know his legs are gone numb at least, it always starts from there and goes upwards I believe." His sisters smiled warmly at him. He lifted Remus' right leg and dropped it to show it was limp.

"C'mon, we have things too discuss. You," he spat at Remus, "Know this. We're only outside the room, not that there's anything you can do, but if you find something, we're only there, we'll know and you'll be killed straight away." With that they turned to leave.

As they closed the door, Remus sat, alone, in despair. The paralysis was still spreading upwards, by his knees ...

All made sense now in his head. _That's why he's hated me,_ he thought,_ and that's why he likes Sirius, they all do. Because he was going out with Phoebe ... But Sirius said it wasn't my fault, and I believe him. She took the dare, that's what Sirius said. Sirius ... _Tears began to pour down his cheeks. _I'll never see him ever again ..._

He began to feel really weak and his breathing became slightly harder to do. As the paralysis spread up his torso, it came to him suddenly. He _could_ see Sirius!

Before numbness could begin to spread into his arms, Remus placed his arms in front of himself on his legs. The magic watch Sirius had given him at Christmas would allow him to see the pictures of Sirius and his other friends.

"Photo-album!" He called in a slur (the tingling was all over his mouth now), just as Sirius had done on Christmas Day, showing him how to work it. The screen turned blank and he called in his slur, "Marauders."

Despite his impending death, Remus couldn't help but smiling as up popped a small moving picture of all four of the Marauders. There was Sirius, hand on his, Remus' shoulder, smiling beautifully as usual.

His arms were numb now. It was a good thing that he had moved them in front of him already. "Next," he panted at the screen, his breath dragging now.

There were many pictures of the Marauders. Remus didn't think it the worst way to die. Not if he had Sirius to look at. As everything began to feel slow to Remus and he started to become dazed, he came to the end of the photos. The last one's were the two he'd taken of Sirius on his bed at Christmas. The first one where he'd caught him unaware, and the second, wonderful to see, was the one where Sirius had sexily posed. And his mind began to mist, he felt worried his vision would blur from seeing the picture. He concentrated on that Christmas morning, crying. Sirius, licking his lips for the picture to be taken, eyes bright behind his eyelashes. Out of the blue came something else Sirius had told him about the watch. It had an alarm!

Remus struggled to make a noise. He could no longer see the watch and his head was lolling on his chest now. He had to say it before he passed out! "A..."

It was only a whisper and he was fighting desperately to keep breathing, something that had become very hard to do now. He set his mind on it.

"Alarm!" He called in a quiet whisper before he fell sideways, limply to the ground, unconscious once more.

.--.

The Marauders had gone down to the Common Room soon after Perry had gone to bed, so as not to wake him up. It had been empty for a while now and they kept checking the Map, just to see if Remus was back in the school or not. It was all without luck.

"I can't stick this, Jamie!" Called Sirius, suddenly standing up in frustration. Something that looked suspiciously like a tear had formed in each of Sirius' eyes. James was all surprise, this was the first time he'd ever seen this.

Sirius cried for the first time in Jamie's memory. Instantly, James sprung up beside him and pulled him into a long hug. Sirius cried on his shoulder and Peter looked on, just as astonished to see Sirius so weak for the first time ever.

"If he ... If he kills himself ... I don't know what I'll do!" Sirius sobbed into James' shoulder. James started to cry too, filled with emotion. If Sirius thought it must be serious enough to cry, then it was a more worrying situation than he'd thought. Peter joined in too and for a while, all James could do was comfort Sirius.

Sirius shook beneath him and James was utterly mournful at the collapse of his best friend.

"He wouldn't -- kill himself," James cried as he supported Sirius' weight, terrified of his own uncertainty. "He'll want to see you again, try make it better. He wouldn't give up that quickly ... "

Sirius didn't reply.

It freaked James out how long it took him to calm Sirius down, and himself. Peter, to their annoyance, had fallen asleep and they were sitting down again, not speaking, when a sudden piercing high-pitched noise was heard, startling them all. As James looked around for the source of the noise, he was shocked to see Sirius had got up very quickly and was running up the stairs to their Dorm.

James immediately followed and as he ran up the stairs, he heard some people getting out of bed, to see what the noise was.

"Sirius!" James called after his best mate as he reached the room, "What are you -- what is _that_?" James cried at seeing Sirius having pulled a small metal object from a drawer on his bedside cabinet. Sirius had pressed something on the shiny metal and the squealing noise stopped.

"Sirius, that thing almost woke up the whole castle, what is it?" James asked as he watched Sirius sit, staring at the object and looking confused. He walked behind Sirius to see a tiny map on the thin strip of metal. Suddenly, Sirius shot up and grasped his shoulders.

"James, Remus must be in trouble," Sirius said and unexpectedly sprinted from the room, leaving James to follow him again. This time James was calling after him to find out why he said that. Sirius wouldn't stop, they ran from the Common Room, leaving Peter miraculously still asleep and a few students in their pyjamas, inquiring still after the noise.

"Sirius," James shouted as they ran down through the school. Sirius never spoke nor stopped until they were on the castle lawn. "Please tell me what's going on! Why's Remus in trouble? What's that thing with the map on it?" James only managed to say it once he'd caught his breath on the lawn.

Sirius looked gravely at him, his face oddly lit by the eerie moon. "He needs us _now_, Jamie! I gave him a magic watch for Christmas and it came with an alarm that I told him to leave at school. That was it going off, I recognised it straight away. He's really in trouble!" With that, Sirius ran off again, in the direction of the castle gates, leaving James to take it in. James ran after him again as soon as it registered.

"Padfoot, where is he?" He called and Sirius shouted back without stopping to tell him, running for the gates in the direciton now of Hogsmeade.

"The Fonne!" Was his reply.

,--,--,--,--,--,--,


	14. Passed the Secrets

DISCLMAIMER: None of the characters of Harry Potter belong to me.

**NOTE TO ALL:** You might start forgiving me toward the end of this chapter guys, it can only get better for them from here. Soory about the worry lol. I wanted to write a story mainly about the love Remus and Sirius would eventually sahre. But I didn't want that to be it, I wanted to push their emotions more and more and I'm afraid I had to have them going through pain, to make it more significant for when they do get together. I tried hints in previous chapter of the Fucirels though Phoebe before they played Truth/Dare. I hope it was not too obscure guys S.

**Chapter 14: Passed the Secrets**

James kept up with Sirius at a steady pace behind him. They had just entered Hogsmeade and were heading for The Fonne at the furthest side of the village. Without warning, Sirius transformed into his animagus dog-form, Padfoot.

James copied him straight away. It was good thinking, they'd reach The Fonne much quicker.

As they stopped outside The Fonne, they transformed back.

"Sirius, how are we getting in? I mean, The Fonne's shut on a Monday." Even as James said it, Sirius pulled his knife out of his robes and slid it down the door next to the handle. It clicked open and James held him back. "Sirius, we don't know what's happening -- "

"Jamie, I'm gonna take a look as Padfoot. See if I can see Remus." James nodded and Sirius left him, going in as the dog.

It was a few minutes before he returned, but it seemed like forever to James.

"What is it?" James asked in alarm as Sirius stood once more, a human, in front of him, face ashen in colour. "Did you see him?"

"No, but I saw Marissa. And both the Reficuls." James gasped. Once he was over the shock, he took a long look at Sirius. No longer was he the crying wreck he'd been in the Dorm, he was alert and ready.

"Then where's Remus?" He asked. "They've... Kidnapped him?" James was beginning to work out what was happening.

"Yes," said Sirius, "and I think he must be in the back room. It's the only place left. They're in the club."

They knew what they had to do, and Sirius did not hesitate. He slowly pushed the door open again and James walked in behind them, wands out now and pointed towards the stairs.

James felt really nervous and wondered if Sirius felt the same. Sirius moved quickly and quietly. Reaching the stairs, they had a quick look up to see if anyone stood there, but nobody was there. Jamie was shaking, but held his wand steady. If they had this wrong, they were about to attack two teachers and an innocent girl for no reason...

Staying as low to the ground as possible, they reached the top step and peeped around the banister. Standing at the bar was Marissa, on the punter side, and over at the door was Mr and Miss Reficul. James looked at Sirius and saw a flash shoot from his wand.

When he looked back, Marissa lay on the ground and Sirius was running out from beside him as both Reficuls turned around.

"Sirius! Potter!" Mr Reficul exclaimed as they seen them. Next moment, he'd seen Marissa on the floor and his hand shot to his robes, seeking his wand.

James stood rooted to the spot. He couldn't take his eyes off of Sirius. He was so angry and frightening as he drew his own wand, quicker than either of his professors and disarmed them easily of their wands.

Both wands landed into his outstretched hand with precision and he advanced on the teachers, waves of fury flying from him. James finally moved and came level with him. Algen and Selina backed against the wall, terrified, but still self righteous.

"Well, Sirius," began their potions teacher. "You're more like Phoebe than I thought."

"Phoebe who?" Sirius snarled at him, confused by the statement. Reficul smiled kindly now.

"My youngest sister, Sirius. You knew her _very_ well." Reficul said. Sirius was getting even angrier.

"I don't know any other Reficul but you two," he replied, nodding at them. But Reficul shook his head solemnly.

"Not _now_. But you _did_." Sirius stood back a minute, in shock.

"But the only Phoebe I ever knew was Phoebe Fucirel ... " Reficul nodded.

"Sirius --" James began, bringing Sirius out of his thoughts. He tightened his grip on his wand and moved towards the professor.

"Where's Remus?" Sirius demanded and suddenly an odd grin spread over both of the professors' faces.

Selina Reficul piped up, "Ah, Sirius. It's unfortunate that It had to be _your_ friend and all, but I'm afraid we've had to poison him. You'll never guess what with --"

James covered his eyes as there was a blinding flash. When he opened them, Sirius was standing over their teachers, wand by his side, red sparks fizzing at the tip.

Sirius turned to James, "I want you to round them up and we'll take them up to the castle. I'll get Remus ... "

"Sirius, I don't understand," said James, "does this mean they're really called Fucirel, not Reficul." Sirius looked gravely at him and James took it as a yes. Sirius went into the back room as James conjured stretchers for the three kidnappers.

When he had done so, Sirius came out with his own, and on it, Remus lay, unconscious. Sirius was sheet white.

"You better get him to the castle, Siri," said James, "I'll be right behind you with them."

"Take them to Dumbledore, he'll deal with them, then meet me down in the Hospital Wing."

With that, Sirius ran off, down the stairs, Remus laid out deathly pale before him.

.--.

Sirius didn't stop running until he reached the Ward. He burst into the room much like James had done with him after his attack earlier that month and Madam Pomfrey bustled out to see what the commotion was.

"Sirius!" She said, "What happened to Remus?" She asked as she led them down to a bed.

"I don't know, some sort of poisoning." He replied, now feeling the panic again. They lay Remus down on the bed. "It was Mr and Miss Reficul." Madam Pomfrey exclaimed at this. When she calmed herself, she asked,

"Sirius, do you know what kind of poisoning? I could treat him much more quickly if I knew."

Sirius stuck his hand into his robes pocket and pulled out a leaf. He had luckily thought of taking it when he went in to get Remus, who was barely breathing at all. When he had seen what was left of the plant on the worktop, he'd realized it must have been what had poisoned Remus.

Madam Pomfrey took it from him and began her inspection of it. "This is from the Aconite plant! It's Aconite Poisoning! Oh dear..." She said, looking stricken.

Sirius worriedly looked down at Remus on the bed whilst Madam Pomfrey ran into her office. He looked so innocent and sweet. Sirius felt a tear start down his face.

When she returned, she brought with her another plant. She began making a decoction of the plant and Sirius asked her what it was.

"This is an emetic Sirius. It's the plant, Viola Calculata. It should make Remus sick and he'll vomit up most of the poison." Sirius helped her sit Remus up in the bed and she tilted his head back, opened his mouth and poured some of the decoction in.

As Sirius held him up, she brought a basin from beneath the bed and sat it beside Remus. She then helped Sirius tilt Remus over the basin, head directly above it.

As though Remus was coming back to life from the dead, he suddenly lunged forward and was violently sick in the basin.

He opened his eyes in terror on the bed and started. When he saw Sirius, it seemed to calm him and he drifted back off to sleep, Sirius carefully pushing him back to lie on the bed again.

"Madam, will he be okay," Sirius asked, turning his head from Remus. Madam Pomfrey sighed.

"Sirius, he should be fine. I wish to speak to Dumbledore before I tell you the particulars first, if you don't mind. But Remus is no longer in any immediate danger, he should be breathing properly now. Dumbledore has been informed, hasn't he?"

"Yes.Thank you," said Sirius as he watched the nurse walk back to her office. Sirius pulled a chair over beside the bed and sat beside Remus. It was odd, but Sirius saw Remus was smiling in his sleep.

Sirius wiped away his tears as he sat watching Remus. He looked different somehow. Remus was never so into pranks or anything he and James found so amusing, but Sirius had never seen Remus look so innocent.

_I couldn't have took it if I'd lost you_, thought Sirius as frightening possibilities of what might have happened to Remus streamed through his head. Some knot had formed in his stomach at the horror of images that passed in his mind. _I couldn't live without you as a friend either_.

Some minutes passed like this before the Wing door opened, causing him to jump. It was James. Jamie rushed towards them and stopped at the bed, looking from Remus to Sirius.

Breathlessly, James said, "How is he? Will he be okay?" Before Sirius could answer, Madam Pomfrey walked down to see who had come in. She frowned.

"I thought it would be Dumbledore," she said. James repeated his questions, but before he got any answers, there Dumbledore appeared at the doorway, Professor McGonagall at his side. The walked calmly down.

"How is Remus, Poppy?" Dumbledore asked with a glance at the three friends.

"Oh, Dumbledore! I think I should tell you separately first. Then we could tell James and Sirius -- "

"And Peter. Minerva, will you fetch Peter for me, he ought to hear about Remus too." McGonagall went immediately. "There, Poppy. No, I think we should all hear at once. If anyone has a right to hear about Remus, it's his three closest friends."

Pomfrey clucked in disapproval. Impatiently, James frowned at Remus, not knowing he was out of danger. Sirius told him quietly, putting his hand on his shoulder and standing up beside him, "He'll be fine. He woke up when he was being sick. He's gonna be all right."

As Peter came in and saw Remus on the bed, he gasped and said, "I'm sorry I fell asleep. How is --"

"He'll be okay," interrupted Pomfrey. Professor McGonagall said she'd wait up in Dumbledore's office and left. Madam Pomfrey began straight away.

"Remus is over the worst. It was Aconite poisoning Professor. Terrible thing -- was it really Professor Reficul and her brother?"

"Yes, Poppy. Fucirel is their real names, and it was three of them. Apparently wrongly avenging their sister, Phoebe --"

"The girl hit by the Whomping Willow?" Pomfrey cried, shocked. Dumbledore nodded and urged her to go on.

"Oh, my goodness. Well, Remus was given an emetic and has vomited up the most part of the poison. The rest will only come in time, I'm afraid. It's in his blood stream now.

"I don't expect it all to be gone for at least a month," Sirius cursed loudly. Pomfrey frowned and continued. "He'll have to be sick every day. But I'll give him a decoction of Hollyhock, that should soothe his throat. He'll get better as the month passes, the first week should be the worst. Now, Headmaster, I advise he stays in the building this Full Moon. Horrible it should be so soon ..."

"I'll arrange a room for him. I expect he'll be very weak this Full Moon?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes, very. But he'll manage it. Like I said, we _did_ get most of the poison. It's luck he was brought here so quick, I'm not sure he'd have been strong enough to survive his transformation had he more poison in the blood."

"Thank you, Poppy." Madam Pomfrey went back up to her office, muttering how terrible it was that 'Professors of all people' caused it.

"What's gonna happen to the Reficu -- Fucirels," asked James.

"Well, James, Millicent Bagnold, Minister for Magic, is questioning them just now under a truth potion. That will reveal all. I dare say, Marissa will be imprisoned for attempted murder, Selina will be for the same and the added conviction of being an accomplice for another murder -- Professor Melbourne -- and Algen for murder and attempted murder. All three face a long time in Azkaban. It really is a horrible business.

"Millicent is to decide when the trial is in front of the Wizengamot. I'm afraid you, Sirius and James, will be required. It will not be until Remus is well enough anyway. Until then, I think the Fucirels will be held in Azkaban.

"I will have to exercise a greater caution into whom I hire at this school. Well, I shall leave you with Remus now. I think you would like some time with him."

As he was leaving, Madam Pomfrey came out of her office, "Oh, you're leaving Headmaster?"

"I am, Poppy. These gentlemen," he said, gesturing at them, "are allowed to keep whichever visiting times they like, so long as their own health does not suffer in the process."

"But shouldn't they go to classes? They have end of year exams -- "

"They will be excused from their exams. I don't think they could possibly concentrate if they were in class, so they shall not sit exams, same as Remus. I have no doubt as to their having ability to have passed anyway. Good bye," Dumbledore said, then acquitted the room.

Pomfrey did not look at all pleased. She said in a reproving manner, " Perhaps you will _surely_ get bored visiting often over an entire month..."

The Marauders assured her to the contrary, saying they'd be there as often as they could. Pomfrey stalked off to her office and never came back until nightfall, where she exercised her permission from Dumbledore to make them leave if it affected their health.

"If you don't sleep, you shall be unwell too ..."

That night, Sirius found it was impossible for him to sleep. James and Peter had long been asleep, but he kept thinking of all that had happened. It was no use, he'd have to see Remus.

Sirius quietly took James' invisibility cloak from his trunk and putting it on, he left the Dorm. He didn't bother with the Map or his wand, instead he, by memory, found his way through the dark school until he reached the Hospital Wing.

He quietly opened the door in case Madam Pomfrey heard him. He met darkness. With no light in her office, he figured she wasn't around. He went over to Remus' bed and found him sleeping soundly. He sat beside Remus on the bed and removed the Cloak.

Sirius looked down on his soft, pale skin, shimmering white in the moonlight that fell across from the window.

His eyelashes were closed against his delicate skin, caressing his soft features. Sirius quite wondered how this was the first time he'd really noticed how Remus looked. He supposed that of _course_ he'd want to take in all that he could now; he'd nearly lost him.

Remus' lean frame made a perfect embossment in the bed sheets and Sirius just listened to his gentle breathing as he watched Remus' chest rise and fall. Remus had always been so gentle. And unselfish.

It was hard for Sirius to believe Remus had loved him for the best part of six years and not said a word. He was sure he'd never have been able to keep something so huge to himself if it had been the other way around. He didn't think he'd have found out if Remus could have helped it. To keep so big a secret from a best mate!

Sirius felt ashamed as Remus lay there, looking so innocent. When Sirius had found out Remus was in love with somebody and wouldn't tell him who, he guiltily remembered being annoyed and hurt that Remus couldn't trust him with his secret. Yet, as soon as he did find out, he freaked. He'd assured Remus whoever he loved would understand, not shun him like he'd thought. Whilst Remus had tried for six years to keep a secret to prevent ruining their friendship, Sirius had blown it in one night.

Instead of comforting Remus as he should have, he'd panicked instead. There had been one major reason why Sirius had acted the way he did. It was not selfish, though Sirius would not credit himself so much as to believe it as being selfless. So modest. Remus knew him better than anybody; anyone except James. So how could he feel so strongly about him?

Sirius had never shown it. His friends had never really known it, but Sirius had little self worth. He couldn't understand why somebody so fantastic as Remus could fall for him. He wasn't special enough. And if Sirius had spoken to anyone about this, they'd have been shocked and told him it was the most stupid thing they'd ever heard. They'd probably say it was the opposite.

If he'd been in love with Remus, he'd have gone out with him. But Remus deserved somebody who was prepared to love him as he loved them, and Sirius had already found he was incapable of that. Anyway, Sirius could never stick to a relationship. He couldn't have Remus as one of those people he went out with for some weeks then dump him. They could never have stayed friends after that. Little did he know Remus would do anything in the World for just one moment of really being with him.

He knew that he and Remus would eventually have to talk about all this. James had been right, that was exactly what they needed to do, not fall out.

Sirius picked up Remus' cold hand in his own, trying to make it warm. _We'll work it out Moony_, he thought, _even if it kills me_.

Remus suddenly stirred and his eyes opened. He squeezed Sirius' hand and turned his head to see who it was.

"Sirius?" He said unsurely, his voice a little weak. Sirius smiled warmly at him and held his hand tighter.

"I'm here Remy," he softly replied. Remus untensed and relaxed, he too with a smile. Remus then rushed into a speech.

"I thought it was some sort of dream. I'd been panicking I was never gonna see you again and I remembered the photos on the watch. One minute I was calling the alarm when I thought of it, the next thing, my wish comes true and you're there. I think I was sick? And now you're here again. I'm sorry, Sirius."

"For what," Sirius asked in confusion.

"For talking about longing to see you ... And for being in love with you," Remus said hesitantly. Sirius didn't really know what to say. For the first time, Remus had told him he loved him: something he'd been dreading the thought of. But now he'd heard it from Remus, he was touched.

"Don't be sorry, Remy. You shouldn't have to apologise for liking somebody more than they expected. Thank you."

"You're thanking me?" Remus asked quickly.

"Yeah, for caring that much. I acted like an arsehole, made us fall out with each other."

"Sirius? We'll never stop being mates will we?" Remus asked. Sirius looked seriously at him.

"We couldn't if we tried. You should sleep, you know. You're meant to rest," said Sirius.

Remus retorted, "Huh! Says you who wanders about beyond permitted hours beneath Jamie's cloak! You need sleep too."

Sirius smiled again, truly glad that Remus was there.

"So you know they were Phoebe's family then," Remus asked darkly. Sirius nodded.

"You know they were wrong don't you? They had no right to hurt you. You weren't to blame for Phoebe. They just needed somebody to take it out on."

"I know. I believed you when you told me it wasn't my fault. It was the first time I'd even considered it, because I thought you believed it was my fault," said Remus.

"What! Never! You thought that all along? I've never blamed you. Guess you saw right through Marissa then. You didn't like her at all. I'm never going out with anybody again without knowing their entire history," said Sirius.

"No! Marissa seemed nice in the club," he became quieter as he continued, "I only didn't like her because I was jealous. She got to dance with you like that and take you home. It's hard to see stuff like that." Remus couldn't meet his eyes as he told him, scared of how he'd react.

"I'm sorry I've made you feel so bad." Sirius, before all this, would have tried to prevent Remus from saying something like that. Now, he was only annoyed at himself.

"It's hardly your fault! It's selfish of me to expect you to stay single just 'cos I can't have you. Sirius, I know we're going to have to talk about this. But can it wait until later? When I'm out of here? I don't want us to be weird with each other."

"Remus, that's fine. And when we do talk about it, we'll be fine with each other. I'm just ashamed of how I was with you. I should never have contacted James about it before we spoke. And I can't believe I pretended I'd lost the memory. I only did it so we could go back to normal."

"That's okay. I was kind of glad. It meant we could talk again. You were being the same with me as before and I had no reason to feel so embarassed around you."

Although both of them needed rest, it was a long time before they parted. It was just as it had always been with them, but that little better. Events had brought them closer and they now had no secrets to hide from each other.

Both slept soundly after the visit, at quite a distance apart within the castle, yet both never having ever felt so close.

,--,--,--,--,--,--,


	15. Better Than Dreams

DISCLMAIMER: None of the characters of Harry Potter belong to me.

**NOTE TO ALL:** Well guys, this is it, the finale. Hope you think it's an okay ending guys, a wee bit nervous now about what you are all thinking since the story took it's wee twist, well I hope the sweet end makes up for it P

**Chapter 15: Better Than Dreams**

_'Yesterday was the trial of two teachers and a young wizard, convicted of crimes that shook that calm reputation of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wirzardry._

_The three convicts were all siblings by the name of Reficul. The eldest two, Algen and Selina had been teaching at the school, both over a year. The other was their younger sister, Marissa._

_The crime they have been punished for was attacking a sixth year student at the school, Remus Lupin. Mystery surrounds the case as the Ministry of Magic and the esteemed Headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore, have refused to supply important details, such as why the attack took place._

_The attack happened over a month ago and the trial, yesterday, was attended by three of the Hogwarts students. Press were disallowed to enter the court of the Wizengamot, but were given details of the charges laid._

_All three were found guilty of attempted murder, whilst Selina and Algen Reficul also had additional charges. It was revealed that Algen has been found guilty with the charge of murdering the former Potions Master of the school, Mark Melbourne. Selina was charged as his accomplice._

_Remus Lupin, the victim, sustained no permanent injuries, though -- '_

"So they never told them their real names," Sirius said over Remus' shoulder before taking the seat opposite of him.

Remus began to feel the heat rise up in him and replied whilst he edged away from the unconnected fire. It was not the flames that were making him hot.

"No. It's so they can't connect them to Phoebe. That would raise questions as to why I was involved and they might find out more than I would like," Remus replied. In other words, they might find out he was a werewolf. Remus had been out of the Hospital Wing since the 16th of February, exactly one month after he was poisoned. He had spent the rest of February relaxing with the Marauders and it was now Thursday, the 2nd of March. They were to return to classes the following Monday.

"I know," Sirius said. When Remus looked at him, he seemed to be considering something carefully. The right side of his face was lit by the fire and it illuminated the cute frown on his features.

"What are you thinking," Remus asked suspiciously and Sirius looked back at him. He smiled kindly and said,

"You think it's time we talk about stuff?" It took Remus a little by shock, but he knew he should have been expecting it.

"Yeah. Where?" He asked, looking around the crowded Common Room. Sirius grinned.

They were on the top floor and walking through a deserted corridor they never used. Sirius led him into an unused classroom. It was empty but for a few chairs.

"Here," said Sirius, walking over to the double-door windows. He opened them and walked out onto the balcony attached.

Remus watched as Sirius climbed onto the ledge and disappeared onto the roof. He popped his head over to tell Remus to follow.

Remus climbed nervously up and found himself on a shallow sloped roof with a smooth surface. Sirius sat near the edge, where he accompanied him.

The sight was breathtaking. They could see far, over the tops of the forest trees, into Hogsmeade, right up to the high mountains surrounding the village's border.

"I've never been up this part of the castle before," said Remus. Sirius was looking into the distance with a faint smile.

"I love it up here," he told Remus. "Me and Phoebe used to sneak up here to kiss. I've not been up here since she died. He looked warmly at Remus.

Remus felt goose bumps travel up his arms as Sirius looked at him like that. "Thanks for sharing it with me," he said gratefully. It was a moment before Sirius spoke next, they just looked at each other. "We have quite a lot to talk about, don't we?"

"But where do we start," Sirius laughed.

"Well," Remus said, "what do you need to know? What do you _want_ to know? I'll answer anything. I'm tired of secrets by now."

Sirius began to look agitated. "I just don't know _why_, Remus. Is it like ...a physical thing or what?"

Going red, Remus tried to keep the embarrassment away, "That's only part of it Sirius. I fancy you like crazy ...but I'm in love with _you_. The way you are, how you make me feel. Everything."

"And it's been from the start?" Sirius asked. Remus could tell this conversation was about as awkward for Sirius as it was for himself. He nodded. Again, it was a while before either spoke.

"Summer was murder without you. It always is, but this year it was worse because it was longer. Not because of the transformations alone. I was missing you all so much. I hated my mum for not letting me over to stay with you and James. Mostly I was annoyed 'cos I couldn't be with _you_. "

Sirius surprised him with a smile. "You know I had a crap summer too? I think I regretted that you couldn't come over as much as you, 'cos it made me miserable not seeing you. Thinking of you going through the Full Moon all on your own was making me sick. Ask James, I hardly stopped thinking of you."

Remus felt a rush of happiness at Sirius' words. They were being more honest and open with each other than they'd ever been. "I get jealous of James. Don't tell him -- though I think he might know already -- but you two are so close I could go mad with envy."

Sirius laughed. "You're jealous of that lunatic?"

"Yeah," Remus assured him. "Very. And I can't help thinking maybe we could have been that close if I hadn't fallen in love with you."

"We _are_ close!" Sirius exclaimed.

"I know. But you can see how I am with you now, can't you? Even now, I'm a bit red. It's always stopped us being really like you and James."

"Nah, I don't think we could be any closer. Not unless we were --" he cleared his throat. Remus knew he'd been about to say 'going out' but had felt it was wrong for the situation. "I've spoken to you about things I haven't said to James. Like showing you the old chest at Christmas, telling you about my feelings and that, showing you here. James hasn't been here." Sirius said firmly to make his point.

"I know and I'm grateful. Maybe you are right. Maybe I just feel like that because I _do_ want to be with you."

"You've no taste," Sirius said with a bark of laughter. Remus exclaimed.

"I have so! You just don't judge yourself fairly. You're the nicest looking guy in the school! Nicest I've ever seen in fact and you've got a personality the same." Sirius shook his head all through it.

"No no no."

"Sirius! Even James told you! At Hogsmeade, remember?"

"I do remember. That was fucking weird," he said smiling. "We nearly kissed in Hogsmeade," Sirius said.

Remus blushed. "And I fainted. That was so embarrassing. I was sure you'd know I fancied you then, but you just thought it was 'cos I was weak from my transformation and hadn't ate anything. You're pretty dumb for a smart person," Remus laughed.

Sirius whacked him on the arm, "Cheeky cunt. How was I meant to know? It's not something I generally thought about --"

"But it's something _I_ thought about non stop. Is it really weird hearing all of this?" Sirius bit his lip.

"Hmm. Not as much as I thought it would be. But we've been through quite a bit now. I think we both know that we don't want to wreck what we already have."

"Sirius, I _never_ thought we'd ever be talking about this."

"You'd have kept it to yourself all along, wouldn't you?" Sirius asked.

"I would have tried. I just couldn't stand the thought of losing you. It was horrible when James found out in the first place. And then you trying not to look too hurt that James knew and you didn't. If it had been anybody else, I'd have told you straight away."

"Well I'm glad Remus that this was the reason, in a way, that you couldn't tell me. I was gutted thinking it was because you couldn't trust me or something."

"Trust you Sirius! I went back in the pensieve to when we first met on platform nine and three quarters. I trusted you even then. You asked me if I did because I couldn't get on the platform and you were laughing at me because I said that I did trust you." Sirius smiled warmly at him. "I've to thank you for that day."

"Why," Sirius asked. He looked so cute when he was curious and it made Remus grin.

"Because I followed you and James to hear what you were saying about me, 'cos he'd dragged you away. You told him I was one of you, and that he had to accept it, although he didn't want to. If it wasn't for you, I would never have been in the Marauders with you. I might not have even been in Gryffindor, I might have been in Ravenclaw. But because you were put in Gryffindor, I practically begged the Hat to put me with you."

"Well I knew straight away you belonged with us."

"How?" Remus asked. Sirius took a good look at him as though trying to figure why.

"I don't really know. Maybe something in the way you looked or acted. I just felt right with you straight away. I'd never had that weird instinct about somebody before. Not even with James, 'cos we were only young when we met, I don't actually remember meeting him. I certainly never got it with Peter."

Remus shivered happily. Sirius was quiet after that, thinking things over. Remus didn't want to disturb him from it, but it was getting cold up on the roof. He could have forgotten all about the cold himself, just to stay with Sirius, but he thought Sirius should be kept warm.

"We should go back now. We don't need to say it all at once, do we?" Sirius came out of his reverie looking a little confused. The look quickly passed though and Sirius jumped down onto the balcony, ready to go. Remus more carefully descended by climbing back onto the ledge. Sirius was so impulsive!

Remus began to worry it had all been too much for Sirius as they walked along in thoughtful silence.

"Have I upset you with all that?" He asked. "You look annoyed about something." Sirius quickly changed his composure.

"No! I was just thinking about something, something I don't understand." He was about to ask Sirius what it was when they arrived at the portrait hole. He could only follow Sirius in.

On entering, they were met by James. "McGonagall's just been in, putting up a sign. Hogsmeade trip on the eleventh!"

Peter joined them seconds later, all excited. "Are we going then? It's another muggle wear day. Snape won't be there again. It'll be good. We don't like need to go to The Fonne or anything unless you want to," Peter said looking suddenly frightened.

"We don't usually go to The Fonne on a school visit anyway Peter, you fool," said James, shaking his head at him. He was so dense.

"Oh, sorry. No, of course we don't." Peter said, his chubby cheeks turning a dark red.

Sirius exhaled deeply in annoyance to calm himself. But his mind didn't seem entirely on it, he was clearly still thinking of whatever he had been thinking moments before. Remus would have given anything to know what it was.

"Well, Peter, we usually _do_ go to Hogsmeade." James said.

"I know. Sorry. It's just after what happened, I wasn't sure you'd want to go Remus," he said, turning from James.

"I'm fine going. I'm not freaked by all that. The only thing that scared me really that day was the thought of not seeing -- you guys." Sirius and James smiled at him.

"And mainly Sirius," Peter added, then bit his lip, obviously not having meant to say what he was thinking. Remus turned red.

"Anyway," he said pointedly at Peter, "I want to go. And it's not gonna stop me going to The Fonne either. Madam Fonne couldn't survive without us to cheer her up." Sirius and James laughed at the thought, whilst Peter looked as though he was dying to make some other comment, and using all his thought not to say it.

.--.

Sirius woke up and sat up in his bed. Perry was standing over by his trunk, picking things out and nobody else was awake that he could see.

"Why are you always up so early McKinnon?" He asked through a yawn. Perry laughed at him.

"Just 'cos you lot are a lazy bunch doesn't mean I have to be," he laughed. "And Janet said I've to meet her early this morning if we wanna ... You know," he ended with a grin.

"I could take a good guess, but I'd rather not," Sirius returned. Perry gave him a mock scathing look and took his clothes into the bathroom with him, ready to get dressed.

Sirius let his eyes wander around the room. Peter was lightly snoring as usual and James would probably soon be up, though he was sound asleep just then.

The windows let in the bright light of a summer-like day. The warm, golden sunlight travelled carefully across the room to rest upon the fair face of Remus. He followed it with his eyes as it climbed every bump; his chin, his soft light red lips, his nose, up passed his forehead, where his hazel hair lay slightly tousled. His hair reflected the golden rays and shone, making a strange kind of aureole of gold around his head on the pillow.

His arms, outside the covers, were thin but toned (as the rest of his body was) and Sirius knew why he was normally happy to cover them beneath his school robes; the tip of an old scar stretching from his shoulder blade could just be seen from the short-sleeved shirt he wore. Personally, he thought it made Remus more interesting. There was always more to Remus than met the eye, as he had recently found out. He was able to hide a passionate love for nearly six years. Never could Sirius have guessed that.

Sirius had been puzzling over something Remus had mentioned the day after the trial. It was a thought that had never struck him before and he wondered what the meaning behind it was. He was thinking back to when he had first met Remus. That sort of instinct that had made him almost force James into accepting him. When he'd thought on it more deeply, he began to understand it better and realized it was something that accompanied him every time he and Remus were together, although it had seemed so insignificant until now that he'd never dwelled on it before.

Remus woke up across from him. Remus' eyes were a strange colour. They were a kind of blue with a fascinating green pattern. Never had Sirius noticed just how unusual they were; he'd never seen eyes like them before. Remus sat blinking the sun out of his eyes and waiting for Perry to leave the bathroom.

He looked across at Sirius. If it had been the opposite way around, Remus would have blushed and turned away to have been caught staring, but Sirius continued with a grin. It was Remus who blushed and he adjusted his bed covers. Sirius laughed inwardly as he suspected why.

"Long have you been awake for?" Remus asked almost roughly, shyly glancing back up at him.

"Not long," said Sirius.

"I'm shocked we don't have to dive on you to wake you up today like last time."

"A lot has changed since last time," Sirius laughed. Remus gave him a wondering look of 'and what do you mean by that,' but Sirius never said.

Their tête-à-tête was terminated by Perry leaving the bathroom. After speaking briefly to both of them, he left the Dorm with a loud bang of the door that awoke both James and Peter. Remus got up and carried clothes into the bathroom to change now.

Peter began to change into his clothes up the far side of the Dorm and Sirius frowned. "Peter, that's nasty mate." Peter looked up in the middle of putting his top on, not knowing what Sirius meant. James picked up on it though and agreed from beside him.

"Yeah, Peter. You're going in after Remus to have a shower. You can't just put that on."

Peter looked affronted and pulled the top straight back off, grabbing his pyjama shirt back on, "No, you're right. I'm still so tired I don't know what I'm doing." James sniggered beside him as he seemed to be thinking something similar to what he thought himself, 'Yeah, right Peter. You wouldn't wash at all if you could get away with being so lazy.' Remus exited the bathroom.

He came out of the bathroom wearing a close yellow T-shirt patterned with a broken circle on the front with the blue writing across saying 'innocent...' and a pair of loose dark blue jeans. When he turned around, more print on the back of his T-shirt read '...most of the time.' Sirius laughed at it. _That's about right_, he thought.

He collected his own things and went to change next.

.--.

Sirius had been making Remus blush for days. It wasn't intentional, Remus knew, but Sirius seemed to notice it more when Remus was looking at him. Knowing Sirius would know why he was looking, he got very embarrassed.

Sirius came out and Remus gasped, inevitably, at his visage. It was always wonderful to behold the sight of Sirius in something new. Only he and Sirius had bothered to get something new for this visit.

Sirius came out in a nice-fitting red T-shirt labeled in black writing that said, 'nothing for free' and some loose, but not baggy, black jeans.

Remus was thankful for his choice of not having bought the tight jeans he'd seen as he had another erection at the sight of Sirius. Sirius was the meaning of stunning, he was convinced.

"Are you coming down," Sirius addressed him. "We'll wait for them down stairs," he said nodding at James and Peter.

So Remus followed Sirius down to the Gryffindor Common Room. They were quickly surrounded by a bunch of people -- mostly girls -- all coming over to admire Sirius. Melanie was getting clingy with him again and it would have annoyed Remus if he hadn't known it was already annoying Sirius, who didn't like it any more. It meant he didn't have to envy her or hate her now. She was no threat.

Remus was surprised as Sirius managed to pull them both out of the crowd (who were desperately trying to get Sirius' attention) and brought him over to a window to wait on Jamie and Peter. Some people just wouldn't take the hint and tried to join them, but Sirius said he and Remus were discussing something private, just to get rid of them.

"You don't seem to be liking the attention these days Sirius," Remus observed as Sirius sent away the last of the crowd, who very reluctantly left them alone after trying to coax Sirius into talking to them instead. Sirius smirked.

"I've never been so much in to it as you might think. More the sort of thing Jamie likes than me."

"What, you saying you don't like it when the girls are swarming all over you?" Remus said disbelievingly. Sirius shook his head.

"But they don't know me Remus. At least, few of them do. All Melanie ever wanted to do was kiss and have --"

"I get the point!" Remus quickly interjected. Sirius smiled at him and his heart began to beat very quickly again. It was a good job Remus' family didn't have a history of heart problems 'cos he could swear with the amount of times Sirius got his heart going so fast, especially this year, he would have been a certified casualty. He felt he spent enough time in the Hospital Wing already without heart attacks. Madam Pomfrey must be sick of the sight of him.

James and Peter soon joined them and they made their way down to be checked off on the Hogsmeade list, suspiciously at the same time the rest decided to go down too. Remus knew they were following Sirius.

The Marauders held back, leaving Sirius' fans no option but to go on. They were at the Great Hall and an unwelcome face appeared, staring at them with contempt.

"What do you want, Snape?" James snarled. Snape slid passed them with a sly grin, taking in their muggle clothing with disgust.

"I'm so happy I'm excused of your company for an entire day," he drawled. "You shouldn't leave your admirers waiting, Black," he said referring to the crowd that had just passed, "they might go off of you."

Remus felt himself getting very angry. "Trust us Snape, the pleasure of getting rid of you is all ours." Snape went red.

"I didn't ask you, mudblood half-breed!" He whispered. Before Remus could say or do anything, James and Sirius had cast spells on Snape and he was lying on the floor, covered in large green pus-filled blisters on his green-turning skin. They grinned at each other in approval.

Nobody noticed Snape as all the crowd were turned the other way, eager to make their way into Hogsmeade.

.--.

James gave Sirius his butterbeer and Peter soon followed, bringing his own and Remus'. The pub was very crowded and noisy, just the way they liked it. It soon became clear to him though, that their fun would soon be spoiled as Sirius was being continually stared at by some girls close by. He could feel how tense they were going to be already.

It was Maria Chang, Siobhan Davies and Shannen Teazel. Maria clearly still wanted Sirius badly. The dreaded moment came when Maria came over to their table.

"Sirius, would you like to join us? Have some fun with us," Maria said as sexily as she could. Sirius looked up at her.

"Not tonight Maria. I'm with my mates." Maria, looking sorely disappointed, walked away in a sulk back to her table.

James could feel the tension she left behind. Remus cut their silence. "Don't stop having fun because of me. I don't want you to do that, Sirius," he said stiffly.

Sirius replied, "But I'm having enough fun here, Moony. I'd rather stay here." James breathed a sigh of relief, but Remus didn't let it last long. He carried on even more rigidly.

"Sirius, it would be an insult to me just now if you don't go. I know you want to, so don't make it more than it is by not going. I won't thank you for it and you'll only end up inadvertently blaming me for stopping you. Go."

Sirius stared for some moments at Remus, who defiantly did the same. It really looked to James as though Sirius would have much preferred just to stay with them and refuse Remus' request. In his heart, Remus was wishing it so, but it seemed his thought this was the right thing to do. James heartily disagreed with his actions, Sirius was fine where he was.

So Sirius did as he was told and left. All remaining at their own table noticed how pleased Maria was to receive him at her table and how she instantly linked her arm through Sirius', delighted he was within her grasp.

James and Peter shared an awkward glance. Remus clearly couldn't have been more jealous, despite his attempts to look as though he'd done the right thing. James dared a look at him and found he had gone very white and couldn't take his eyes from Sirius and Maria. It was like he was miserably drawn towards him.

When Maria slid her hand down onto Sirius' knee and moved it slowly upwards, Remus finally turned his face from them, staring determinedly at his Butterbeer.

"Remus?" James said, hesitantly, unsure of how Remus was going to react. He and Peter sat very nervously, passively feeling the same pain Remus must have been feeling. They wished it to be different for Remus. "Moony," James said when he had no reply. Remus finally looked up at him. "Maybe we should move. This is only gonna make you feel worse.

"James," Remus replied, "that's just not possible." He stood up, downed his bottle and got ready to leave.

"You're going?" Asked James. "You want us to come with you?"

"No," Remus answered him, "I'm going back to Hogwarts. When Sirius returns here, _if_ Sirius comes here, tell him ... I dunno. Make something up. I don't want him to know why I left."

"Remus, he --" James said, but Remus was already going out of the door. James frowned and turned back to look at Sirius. Sirius spotted Remus was gone and mouthed 'where' to him.

.--.

Remus threw himself down onto the sloped roof of Hogwarts. It had seemed like the right place to go.

He lay down for a while, just saying aloud his thoughts.

"... I can't do it. I can't keep seeing him with other people. I thought I'd be fine. He would probably stop if I asked him, but he'd grow to hate me for it. And I want him to be happy. Even if it's with somebody like Maria Chang. He can't be happy if he's not _allowed_ to be with someone ... "

"I think _I_ should be the judge of what makes me happy."

Remus sprang up and spun around. Sirius was climbing up onto the roof.

Remus tried desperately to collect himself. "I said you should stay with Maria and that," he said, looking out to the horizon. Sirius gave a great bark of laughter.

Remus looked up to find Sirius sitting himself down beside him.

"And since when have I followed anybody's orders?" He laughed. Remus was unsure of what to say. Sirius smirked and said, "Did you not know it's crazy to talk to yourself?" Remus couldn't help but laughing at himself for doing it.

"You drove me crazy Sirius. I was very rational-minded before I met you."

Sirius smiled, "A lot of things changed the day we met, Remus. And for the better too. Some changes I hadn't noticed until very recently."

"Like what? What do you mean?" Remus asked. Sirius just grinned and shook his head, refusing to tell.

"How did you know I was here?" Remus said. Sirius pulled out The Marauders Map from his jeans' pocket in answer. "Oh."

"That's a bad habit you have there Remus," Sirius mused.

"Habit?"

"Yes," Sirius said. "You're always running off and I'm forever having to chase you."

"Huh! I've been _chasing_ _you_ for six years!" Remus cried.

"Well not quite in the same way though," Sirius reflected.

"No," Remus smiled, "unfortunately," he bravely added. Sirius laughed and raised his eyebrows.

"You're flirting!" He pointed out to Remus. Remus promptly looked embarrassed and denied it. He then submitted.

"You led me into it. I didn't mean to. This is gonna be so weird isn't it? Can you deal with me flirting with you?" Remus tentatively asked, unable to look him in the eye as he did so.

"No." Sirius replied seriously. Remus' head darted up and he shook his head as Sirius was stopping himself from laughing. "Nah, joking. Do as you please."

"You won't be freaked out by it?" Remus asked.

"Why should I? People flirt a lot with me, I've noticed. I mean, look at Maria back there in the pub. Her hand was making it's way happily upwards."

"Why did you leave her, Siri," Remus asked, feeling suddenly depressed as he remembered it was his fault Sirius wasn't there having fun.

"I don't fancy her one bit," Sirius said simply. Remus looked at him, waiting for the truth, but that was apparently it.

"So it's not 'cos of me?" He asked.

"Moony, not everything is. You blame everything on yourself."

"I do not," Remus contradicted. A short silence followed this. Remus was beginning to feel embarrassed again. He was so turned on at that moment and trying desperately not to show it by turning his body slightly away from Sirius. Unbeknownst to him, Sirius had already noticed and had long been enjoying having such an effect on him. It was fun watching him trying to hide it.

"Is it weird," said Remus, "when you catch me looking at you." Sirius placed a hand on his arm and it had the desired effect, Remus looked up (as well as turning red).

"You can look all you want," he said sincerely.

"Sirius, I don't get how you're being so calm about this now. Before you couldn't deal with it. What changed?" Remus said. His breath was beginning to come short; Sirius hadn't removed his hand and he was feeling dizzy under his warm touch.

"Everything," Sirius replied. "I've changed. No, I've not _changed_, I've just kind of, came to a better understanding."

"It's still weird. I mean, I know one of your characteristics is like, being able to change your manner or temper and mood quickly, you've done it for years, but I didn't think you could do it with this." Sirius grinned as he talked.

"Well I've had a bit of sense knocked into me, haven't I? Remus?" Remus gasped as he watched Sirius move slightly closer to him. Something had lit up suddenly in Sirius' eyes, something that always appeared in Sirius' eyes when he was about to do something impulsive. He had his trademark mischievous look. But Remus saw something else. Something he'd _never_ seen in Sirius before. Something that was making him feel weak with desire.

"Yes?" He eventually breathed. Sirius was still grinning, and he was more beautiful to Remus than he'd ever been; that something in his eyes was making him more lovely.

Sirius' voice was steadier than ever when he spoke. "Remus, there's another characteristic of mine that hasn't been satisfied."

"What's that?" Remus whispered, barely able to breathe. Sirius moved close, to whisper in his ear.

"I _never_ refuse a dare," he said and leaned back. Remus' jaw dropped.

"But --"

"Yes, the _Hogsmeade_ dare. I don't like to ignore a dare ... "

"Sirius, you mean --?" Remus' mind had gone numb. He was waiting on waking up to the day as was normal when this happened, but something in his heart told him this was real this time. Sirius was really wanting to kiss him ...

He managed to speak, although looking back on this moment, he'd never know how. "You're straight. I love you, but you like girls. You said you couldn't feel for me, so why would you kiss me?" Sirius put a finger on his lips and it instantly hushed him.

"Remy, I _told_ you I've been realizing a lot lately. When you reminded me how I told James you were one of us, I was confused. I couldn't understand because I remembered this feeling I had when I first saw you. Remember I told you I never had it with Jamie or Peter or anyone? When I thought more, I noticed I felt it every time I'm with you. It's always been there."

"What feeling," Remus said in barely a whisper, his head getting lighter and lighter.

"I didn't know at first. I didn't really know it until you walked out of that pub, I felt it stronger than ever. Almost as strong as it feels now."

"Sirius --"

"Love, Remus." Remus' mind went blank. His heart seemed to be beating in his head, and louder than his thoughts. Sirius was moving in front of him, but the clouds in his brain would barely take notice of it. It all came back when Sirius placed a hand on his face.

"Did you hear me, Remus? I love you." Sirius said it with all the confidence in the world. Sirius would never lie to him. Sirius would never be that cruel. Sirius was in love with him! He started speaking, but Sirius laughed and it made him realize he hadn't spoken any real words, he was muttering nonsense.

"Remus," Sirius said, gently tilting his head up a little so their eyes met, "It's about time we do that dare." Remus felt his erection really tight against his jeans as he saw desire in Sirius' eyes.

Sirius moved in on Remus. Remus was unable to think of anything but the space closing between himself and Sirius, finding it less easy to breathe. Remus felt his heart fluttering madly as Sirius had a hand on his back, lovingly caressing him and the other on the ground on the other side.

Sirius' sweet, hot breath tickled his face. His eyes, his beautiful blue eyes were very close his own. Remus closed his eyes as Sirius' closed before him and the next thing he was in heaven as Sirius captured his lips in his own.

Remus moaned at the sensation. This was all his dreams come true. This was the kiss he'd been waiting for, the words he'd needed to hear. This was better than dreams! He felt his chest fluttering dully, and even more satisfyingly, he felt Sirius' chest against his with his heart beating just as wildly.

They lay back on the roof, Remus on his back and Sirius atop of him. _Sirius loves me!_ It was more than he could believe. If his thoughts had not been entirely consumed as they were, he'd have noticed with joy that Sirius' kiss was even better than he'd ever imagined it to be as he had watched him kiss Melanie or Maria or anyone. But even then, Sirius had never put so much emotion behind a kiss. Emotion he'd only recently discovered. Remus delighted in the feeling. He certainly didn't need to hide his erection; Sirius' own was pressed tight against his. When Sirius broke away for air, it felt to Remus as though he was taking his oxygen away instead of giving him time to breathe it.

He opened his eyes in want of the feeling. Sirius was smiling over him.

"Is this real?" He whispered. Sirius chastely kiss him in reply.

When he stopped the kiss again, he said, "Oh, good. You didn't faint this time."

Remus, with all his strength, flipped Sirius over in protest and kissed him over and over again.

Sirius and Remus spent hours kissing and talking on the roof. "I thought you didn't feel able to love anybody," Remus asked. "I didn't know then that I was already in love with you though." Each time Sirius said it, freshly he felt the sweet ecstasy of love. "Are we a public couple?" Remus asked, "Are we telling everyone?" Sirius grinned and replied, "No, we'll _show_ them." "What," said Remus, smiling, "we're gonna have sex in front of them?" Sirius laughed, "Well, we could (we've that to look forward to), but I was thinking more along the lines of kissing in front of them, acting like a couple." "We're a couple?" Remus gushed. "No," said Sirius sardonically, "we just kiss for fun. You slut, talking about sleeping with someone when you don't even think you're going out with them --" "I love you more than anything Sirius." "I don't know, I have this thing for Peter --" "Sirius!" "I love you too."

.--.

James sat on the train, unsure of where to look. He didn't know whether he should be embarrassed or not or if he should look away, but it was turning him on something awful. Peter openly stared.

Sirius and Remus were kissing passionately on the train, and James couldn't think of anything he'd witnessed even half so erotic. All students of Hogwarts had taken the news of the cutest couple very hard, except for James and the couple involved. Some people had burst out crying when they heard that Sirius was in love and was never going to be available ever again, because that was the precious thing between Sirius and Remus. This was forever, and they all knew it. Remus wanted Sirius forever and Sirius wanted Remus the same.

Neither had ever been so happy before. James could maybe have felt at times a little jealous; it could have seemed as though he'd lost his best mate to Remus, but he knew he hadn't. He and Sirius were as they always were. The biggest difference to the Marauders was that they never again had to endure Sirius going off with another girl again. He was reveling in his newfound gayness.

Most people didn't seem put off in the least that he was in a relationship, they still asked him out. But Remus would never get jealous. _He_ had Sirius, not them. And Sirius had never loved any of the ex's that tried to win him back.

From that Hogsmeade night, Sirius and Remus had been publicly displaying their affection without another care in the world. Remus received many dirty looks of jealousy, but he never gave a damn about it. Sirius loved him, and that was the world. Of course, it encouraged Sirius' male admired even more, but they were rejected with as much firmness as they ever had been. True, Sirius and Remus weren't gay in general, just with each other.

The night of Hogsmeade, when Remus and Sirius had back into the portrait hole door kissing and all through the Common Room without a word to anyone, just heading straight to the Dorm relentlessly kissing, James had nearly died of shock, as did many other people. It was the last thing he'd ever expected to happen, yet one of the things he most wished for. The silence the amorous pair had left in their wake was long. Nobody could really believe Sirius was gay. Not even the encouraged guys.

The heat was running up in his body as he watched Sirius and Remus with their hands wandering everywhere. As he felt it getting too much for himself, he said, whilst almost panting, "Uh, guys. This is like a porno."

Sirius laughed, "You're lucky James that you're getting it for free then." Remus, who James had expected to be the blushing half of the couple, had grown in confidence. Now he was with Sirius, he didn't get embarrassed at anything any more. James had expected him not to want to show their feelings to people, but he was just as bad as Sirius with his wandering hands. Remus grinned.

Towards the end of the journey, Remus began to get quiet. Sirius noticed it straight away.

"What's up, Remy?" He asked immediately. Remus heaved a great sigh and said,

"It's just, I don't think I can go another holiday without you. I'll be stuck in that house myself while you're not with me."

Sirius was grinning madly as Remus said it, and in spite of Remus' depressed way of saying it, he had to smile as he saw Sirius. One couldn't keep a straight face if the other wasn't. James was smiling too, as he knew what Sirius was about to say.

"I'm moving out of James' during the holiday. Move in with me," Sirius said lovingly. Remus' face was a picture to James that he'd always remember. He was so shocked.

"You mean it?" Sirius nodded. James shook his head as this brought on another long, very long, spell of kissing.

Remus had his head rested on Sirius' lap, staring up at him as Sirius talked to James and Peter, occasionally looking down with a smile of adoration. He began to hum a tune, a tune that had become his favourite. Sirius looked down at him in thought.

Remus was surprised when Sirius joined in. "You know it?" He asked incredulously. Sirius smiled.

"Yeah," he said, "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith. It's like, only my favourite song. They play it on the Muggle Radio channel all the time. I didn't think you'd know it." Remus' heart was beating contedly.

"Did you also know it's our song?" He asked.

"_Our_ song?" Sirius asked with a cute raise of the eyebrow. Remus smiled up at him and closed his eyes, reminiscing.

"Yep. In the days when I was stalking you," Sirius laughed, "I watched you sleeping at Christmas on the bed and that song came on. It was perfect, you even smiled when he sings --"

"Watch you smile while you are sleeping!" Sirius cut in.

"Yes," said Remus. "You're so innocent and cute when you sleep --" Remus didn't get to say any more as he was brought into a loving kiss by Sirius.

,--,--,--,--,--,--,


End file.
